kaworu posted:

This is all pretty hosed up and crazy.

I don't want to defend Takei per se, because I find him sort of creepy and vile when he does his "leering old gay man" act, but I sincerely think it's *mostly* just an act.

What he's describing is something that actually is incredibly common in consensual gay sex and - I have to imagine - in heterosexual sex too, when both parties are consenting but things are nervous and awkward. Probably this sort of thing is more common with gay folk in general? Being straight things are a bit more, well, straightforward in how sexual roles are defined and who takes the initiative in touching what at which time, and so on. Or maybe not and those are just silly notions I have about het sex. Not to talk *too* much about myself, but I'm a cis gay guy who is incredibly shy and "skittish" in such situations. I'd probably still be a virgin at 32 if it weren't for other people taking the initiative.

I just mean to say that there's a BIG goddamn difference between initiating sex with a skittish and shy (but consenting) partner by proactively doing something physical, and forcing yourself on someone who is unconsenting or unconscious. I just think it's important to make the distinction here, because I honestly think Takei was trying to talk about the former situation, NOT the latter in that clip. I just think it's a stretch to call that "gleefully recalling past assaults."

This does not excuse Takei from anything, and it doesn't mean his accuser his wrong. I actually think his accuser was probably correct, and listening to that clip and how easily he is making *jokes* about the whole situation is kinda hosed up and makes me believe his accuser even more. So I *really* don't want people to take this as me defending Takei, it's just that it feels like gay sex is being demonized enough as a result of Kevin "loving" Spacey that I feel some deep need to defend the basics of consensual penis-touching.