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I've been debating throwing in my two cents on this situation, because it'll probably be seen as A HOT TAKE or I'll get accused of having internalized misogyny or something, but here goes: Let me preface this by saying Azis Ansari is a loving creep, and while I think this story is being blown out of proportion (he isn't a rapist, nor do I think his shows or specials should be taken down or whatever) I think it's still relevant to the discussion and something that both men and women can learn from. It's also relevant to how he's cultivated this image of being a woke bae or whatever, and shining a light on him actually being an rear end in a top hat when alone with a woman. HOWEVER! And from here on out I am in no way trying to cast any judgement on Grace or how she handled the situation, but speaking from my own personal experience and how it's formed my view on this story: If it were me in her place, and I have been in her place more than once, with men and women (though let's focus on men), albeit not with a celebrity (which admittedly can bring different pressures and reasons to be potentially scared than with a normie), I was always mad at myself rather than the guy, and I feel pretty justified in being angrier with my own way of handling it than with the guy who was being pushy. Not because being pushy or aggressive is good or right, but because I (and she) were kind of leading him on. Nonverbal cues are kind of a crapshoot. I hate to say it, but it's true. Especially when substances like alcohol or drugs are involved, but even when people are sober. I know when I'm turned on I can kind of get tunnel vision, and it's easy to miss things or not pick up on it right away. I imagine it's the same for men. This doesn't excuse lovely behaviour, but it can lead to miscommunications. Up until the point Grace verbally tells him to stop, she's reciprocating, and even if it's half-assed and she's clearly not super into it she's still naked, still giving him head, still kissing him/etc. I've done that, too, and I can see how Aziz or the people I've dealt with would get confused by that. Even if she or I were getting up and walking away at points, combining that with those moments of engaging in sexual activity with the aggressor can easily be read as playing hard to get or whatever. Aziz is a pathetic creep and after the first time she actually spoke up, he should have stopped. But she also should have gotten dressed. She should have left if she was that uncomfortable. I know it's not always so easy in the moment, because again I've been the girl who sticks around too long before finally peacing out of there, and there's a ton of reasons a person might stay: lovely as they're being in that moment, you may still really like the guy and hope it's a one off and everything will be better later. You may actually want to be there to hook up but not be cool with the way it's going down. You may not want to be seen as a tease. You simply may not see a good opportunity to say 'gently caress this, no', because things are moving fast. etc etc etc It's shameful and embarrassing and can make you feel pretty bad about yourself. It sucks. But I don't think it's assault, and I don't think it's rape. I do think it's something that needs to be talked about, but maybe not hyped up as a big part of #MeToo. At least not as big as the actually heinous poo poo happening to children, women and men behind closed doors. I'm sure I've written this out badly or w/e and I'll gladly clarify anything anyone wants, but the gist of this situation for me is thus: Everyone should learn from this. The aggressor, male or female, should learn to slow the gently caress down when it seems like the other party isn't giving as good as they're getting. Especially when the other party actually speaks up and says chill the gently caress out. But the person being pressured also needs to learn to speak up. My biggest regret when I look back at the moments I've had like Grace's is not standing up for myself properly, not just loving leaving when I'm not cool with what's going down. I would personally rather say no, put my clothes on and walk for that door and risk my would-be partner getting violent with me than stay and degrade myself with sex I don't want. But that's just me. Also, obviously, a situation like Grace's where the aggressor is clearly already being violent or very clearly could be violent is a far different beast. That's the kind of situation I'm glad I've never been in and can understand being too scared to speak up or leave. But the story as told has Aziz being completely fine with calling her a cab when she finally does work up the nerve to peace out of there, so I personally find it hard to believe she was ever worried about her physical safety. But I'm not her so maybe she was. I can't really cast any judgment on her for however she may have felt that led her to dealing with it in the way she did. I feel terrible for her because I've been there. sidenote: they went to a loving oyster bar, you drink white wine when you eat oysters!!!
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Jan 18, 2018 01:23
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SamuraiFoochs posted:You pretty much nailed how I'd characterize it too but I'm a dude who's never been there so grain of salt I guess. Mind if I PM you about something sorta related to this discussion that I'm curious to know your perspective on, esperterra? I don't wanna derail the thread too much. For sure! I'm about to step away to do some chores but I'll get back to you later.
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Jan 18, 2018 02:02
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Mister Fister posted:The writer of the article actually emailed Banfield and uh... Classy.
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Jan 18, 2018 04:59
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Such a bad move. It damages the credibility of a story that I think should be getting discussed, whether that's as part of the #MeToo movement or of a broader conversation people need to be having about sex. e: granted this is a woman whose stories on babe.net include several articles that seem to consist of learning about how to scam money out of men online by blueballing them, so i'm not surprised esperterra fucked around with this message at 05:20 on Jan 18, 2018 |
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Jan 18, 2018 05:16
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Whether it's a PR scam or his own belief and decision, Ansari has still fostered the public image of being a feminist and ally so I don't really see why it matters whose idea it was to do that. Either way it appears to be a lie.
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Jan 18, 2018 22:40
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One goon threw shade at another goon who worked for The Graham Norton Show by snidely remarking that, surely, Graham Norton would have broke this story in a much more professional way than babe.com. Or something.
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Jan 19, 2018 00:16
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DrVenkman posted:If CDAN is to be believed, within the year the hammer is going to come down on Paramount and Dan Schneider. Rumours have followed him for years, but the belief is that people in Paramount protected him because he spun constant gold for them. Supposedly Jamie-Lynn Spears and Amanda Byrnes are pushing hard for their cases to be heard. I hope so. It's about goddamn time.
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Jan 20, 2018 12:02
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Yeah, he's a real piece of poo poo. Feel like I've been waiting for him to get got since I was the same age as Nick's demo. The rumours have been around forever.
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Jan 21, 2018 07:31
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There's a bunch of pics of him and Miranda Cosgrove where she looks on the verge of tears, too. He's such a creep.
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Jan 22, 2018 01:15
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lol just because it's been a subject on /tv/ for years doesn't make it automatically not true. We don't know the truth, either way, but I'm partial to believing it myself.
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Jan 22, 2018 04:12
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/tv/ discussed Dan Schneider to death before /pol/ was even a board.
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Jan 23, 2018 04:32
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Nothin' wrong with thinking someone is creepy looking.
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Jan 23, 2018 05:43
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Probably CDAN.
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Jan 28, 2018 21:19
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Coffee And Pie posted:I’ve heard rumblings about Jared Leto using his 30 Seconds to Mars fame to lure underage girls, which seems about right having seen what he looks like. I've heard plenty of 30 Seconds to Mars groupie/concert stories about him being a rough rear end in a top hat in bed, too. He also apparently has a huge dick!
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Jan 29, 2018 00:23
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This thread has gone, uh, places.
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Jan 30, 2018 21:02
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Also I just want to say that, despite the huge amounts of CP found on his computer and that he pled guilty, it's a drat shame Salling killed himself. Suicide is loving terrible and I feel huge sympathy for his family. Only thing I can really say about it is I hope that's a sign he was regretting his actions. But he should have just done his time and tried to rehabilitate rather than taking his own life. Goddamn tragic when people go to that extreme imo.
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Jan 30, 2018 22:46
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You never know. I try not to dig too deep into conspiracy theories when it comes to celebrity deaths, especially ones that appear to be a suicide, but anusthing is possible.
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Jan 30, 2018 22:51
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Origami Dali posted:Sure, but is there really any recourse for someone who will be on the sex offender registry as a pedophile for life? Not that I think all pedophiles convicted of a crime should just kill themselves, but that's a mark that doesn't just go away after you do your time/make restitution to society in the internet age. The days of fully paying one's debt and being given a second chance are over for people like the Glee dude, much less the Victor Salva types. I guess it depends tbh, on whether he actually assaulted any kids or was just getting it out via porn. Both are loving terrible and harmful to the kids involved, but one's still worse than the other. His life would be haunted by the registry forever, even moreso since he's a public figure. But I like to believe anyone can change for the better.
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Jan 30, 2018 23:12
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Yeah, Thora Birch is the one with the overbearing pornstar parents. I miss Thora Birch.
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Feb 1, 2018 05:41
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DrVenkman posted:Things got a little awkward with Rose McGowan recently. There was the odd Colbert interview and then the same day there was this: http://variety.com/2018/scene/vpage/rose-mcgowan-meltdown-barnes-and-noble-book-signing-1202684004 I remember that episode of What's the Tee? Rose has seemed a little ... off for a while. Whether that's because of the horrid poo poo that's happened to her in the business or something else in her life, I don't know. I don't really care, either, because I still like her well enough and feel terrible about what came to light about Weinstein et al. But she's been a little crazy for years now.
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Feb 1, 2018 23:45
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Yeah, she's been like that for a long time now. It's a shame b/c her past behaviour probably makes it easier for people to not take anything she says about Weinstein/etc seriously. re: Rose obvs
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Feb 2, 2018 00:09
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I haven't had a chance to read that yet, but is this all stuff from Uma's mouth or third parties? Last I checked she and Quentin were still bffs and potentially dating.
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Feb 4, 2018 07:47
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The Pianist is loving amazing.
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Feb 8, 2018 02:29
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Das Boo posted:poo poo people can do a good thing and still be poo poo people. My stance on a lot of people discussed in this thread, in a nutshell.
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Feb 8, 2018 04:43
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The MPAA originally gave But I'm a Cheerleader an NC-17 rating which LOL
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Feb 9, 2018 01:48
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I think it's silly to act as if false accusations don't exist, because they do. Are they an incredibly small percentage of rape and assault stories? Almost definitely. But it's silly to pretend they don't exist at all, and imo silly to pretend that they may not become more visible now that victims actually feel safer coming forward and these topics are moving to the forefront of dicussion. It's lovely but it can and will happen.
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Feb 10, 2018 03:17
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I love and miss Fraser. I was really upset to hear the news when this story broke. He seems like a really fuckin' nice dude.
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Feb 25, 2018 09:12
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He has 3, I think.
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Feb 26, 2018 21:59
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Rhyno posted:It happens a lot now that I think about it. Nic Cage made like 30 garbage tier direct to video films after losing all his money and I guess he still isn't out of debt. Cage afaik has a really bad spending/gambling issue or something tho so a lot of that is probably his own fault, tbf.
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Feb 26, 2018 23:04
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poptart_fairy posted:Daniel Radcliffe has been very humble and open about his fortunate position, and how it allows him to take weirder and smaller roles without financial concerns. Elijah Wood did the same kind of thing off his LotR success, and Kristen Stewart after Twilight. Don't have to take schlock roles when you're set for life, unless you want to do it for funsies.
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Feb 27, 2018 00:06
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Snowman_McK posted:It was in the studios interest to keep the whole cast on the relative straight and narrow and avoid the usual child star breakdowns. Recasting any major character would have ruined the whole gimmick. Even then, there's quite a few stories of Radcliffe being drunk as gently caress during some of the later movies.
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Feb 27, 2018 02:15
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Yeah, I'd rather try and be a positive influence on people than cut friends out of my life. If they're actively being malicious or harming people, yeah, then I would probably just drop them. But I'm not going to stop being around someone I care about just because they have some dumb ideas or a narrow world view.
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Feb 28, 2018 03:36
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Her chest is pretty small for even nuLara standards tbh, but Amazing Atheist is and has always been a huge piece of trash. Also who gives a gently caress about her tits?? If you want OG Lara watch the Jolie movies, they're good, dumb fun. This movie is probably bad but I like Alicia Vikander, she is awesome. The Lara Croft Boob Debate will probably last until the end of time, the version this movie is based off of got blowback from a bunch of titty purists when it came out. Similarily, the Tifa Boob Debate shall also wage eternal. Tars Tarkas posted:This is the Lara Croft that only Real 90s Kids will remember! lmao
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Mar 15, 2018 03:30
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The subject at hand is an idiot whining about whether or not Alicia Vikander looks like Lara Croft, it just so happens the size of her tits is the main sticking point for most people about what does and does not look like Lara Croft. My two cents is: Does Alicia Vikander look like either game version of Lara Croft? No. Does it matter? No. I'm incredibly self aware about what I said and why I said it.
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Mar 15, 2018 05:54
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I can get behind dress codes when it comes to the girls who are legit dressing way beyond their age, but the codes were alway bullshit when it came to girls who just happened to develop earlier than the others. Like I was nine when I went through puberty and for a while I'd get poo poo for wearing the same normal-rear end t-shirts as other girls just because I already had tits. But like a twelve year old running around in booty shorts and a crop top, I can see telling her to put something else on fwiw, even if the reasons they give usually come out loving stupid.
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Mar 15, 2018 18:37
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MiddleOne posted:School uniforms are stupid and are a solution to absolutely nothing. I'd argue they're good for cutting down on the kind of bullshit bullying kids of lesser means get for not having nice/designer clothes tbf
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Mar 17, 2018 01:17
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LividLiquid posted:My ex-wife was a teacher, and this poo poo is so true and painful and it drives me absolutely nuts. The poo poo we do to young women to excuse the lovely behaviors of young men is loving bizarre once you apply any amount of critical thinking to it. fwiw I don't think boys at school should be running around shirtless. I'm an equal opportunity prude when it comes to thinking kids in school shouldn't be wearing super revealing stuff. e: though you're right w/r/t the root issue being people thinking nudity is inherently sexual, especially in north america. it would be lovely to live in a world where a girl wearing barely anything isn't seen as inherently a sexual or slutty thing to do, but we unfortunately have a lot of work to do to make that dumb mindset a thing of the past esperterra fucked around with this message at 01:26 on Mar 17, 2018 |
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Mar 17, 2018 01:23
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Snowman_McK posted:Nope. In Canberra, where I live, there's strict zoning rules, so a portion of every suburb is public housing. It's a measure to avoid slums. It works pretty well. However, the poorer kids, even at schools with uniforms, have grubbier uniforms, they'll wear a jumper instead of a shirt, if they're really unlucky, they'll smell. When everyone is supposed to look the same, the people that don't stand out even more. Ugh yeah, that sounds worse. I guess it's a solution in theory more than in practice.
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Mar 17, 2018 01:32
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Bust Rodd posted:Yeah cheating on your wife isn’t abusing them you’re right (rolls eyes so hard they pop out so skull)... lol amazing and actually if you read this thread then yes someone did say they were not going to watch his films. I agreed with like 90% of your original post but you prob could have used cheated on instead of abused. It's def a form of abuse but people usually go to physical abuse first when the word's used alone imo.
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Mar 20, 2018 07:25
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 13:12 |
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I named my cat Bowie, and have no regrets.
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Mar 20, 2018 09:01
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