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Alan Smithee posted:no more Summer of 69's for you No no, that's Bryan Adams  Ryan Adams (sans B) is probably best known for being Mandy Moore's ex-husband (not that that makes this any less deplorable)
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Jul 6, 2020 08:18
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I feel like this is the only time this anecdote will be relevant to conversation so hell, I'll stop lurking and just share it. When I was in about 8th grade (so maaaybe a year or two older than these girls at best), I was in this after school club-type thing with different activities you could sign up for on a day to day basis, and one of the activities was a dance troupe taught by one or two twenty-something women. They'd choreograph a routine for the kids with the goal of eventually performing it in front of the parents. And I distinctly remember, at the time, they were learning a routine to the song "Lose Control" by Missy Elliott feat. Ciara. I remember on one hand, feeling weird about the fact everybody was dancing to something that literally opens up with the lyrics "I've got a cute face, chubby waist / thick legs, in shape / Rump shaking both ways / Make you do a double take", especially since we were all girls between the ages of 11 and 13. but on the other hand I honestly, really legitimately wanted to sign up for the activity because it looked like an absolute blast. I never signed up for it in the end but a year later in high school, I took an actual dance class for a PE credit. I loved learning routines, getting all the steps down, it legitimately felt incredibly freeing to participate in. At the end of the term we did a routine loosely based off of this one from So You Think You Can Dance, and our outfits were basically "wear red/black and a lot of makeup". I remember my mom expressing concern over the way I had dressed (I had described the look at the time as "zombie hooker"), and I wanted to hang out with some older teen friends from the same class afterwards. She didn't want me to because she suspected The Worst™ but we literally just went to a Dairy Queen up the road and celebrated in the most wholesome and benign way possible. We weren't thinking about how we looked or how the routine looked as performed by a bunch of teenage girls. We were just trying to have a good time. These were both really tame situations compared to things like child beauty pageants--everybody was fully clothed, and I think the majority of us were in it by choice instead of feeling pressured into it--but I thought it might benefit the thread to hear from somebody with adjacent life experiences. I think there's a place for a film that portrays this sort of emotional and psychological dissonance, between wanting to express yourself and realizing that said expression doesn't exist in a vacuum. I mean particularly in the current age of social media. Everybody had a myspace back then, sure, but it wasn't something we were connected to 24/7 like it is today. I can't imagine what being plugged in to all of this bullshit from birth does to a person or how it influences their growth. I will say that the clip posted absolutely made me uncomfortable (as a cis woman nearing 30) but then that was likely the point. The comparison to the movie Thirteen feels apt. Anyway thanks for coming to my TEDtalk
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Sep 12, 2020 08:31
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I suppose what makes the Dan controversy even more insidious is that despite being in his 40s nothing about him reads "this man is in his 40s" beyond his general lack of current video game knowledge, he very easily passes for somebody a good 10-15 years younger to the point that his real age coming up is often met with surprise. Which absolutely would help him in attempting to date 20+ years younger and it's skeevy as hell We really need to address the cultural trend of "woke nice guy uses status to manipulate/abuse others" instead of just thinking in terms of how obvious it was somebody turned out to be terrible. Not addressing the nuances that go into how they're able to continue the grift means they'll keep finding success in it and red flags will just continue to go unnoticed. I think about that brief period in my teens where an older male internet friend was absolutely gunning for the situation Dan was, with me--a minor that was a good 6-7 years younger--and am grateful I had a decent enough support system to understand that what was happening was a) wrong and that b) I wasn't in the wrong for leaving it, then I think about how many of these young women either didn't or currently don't have the same luxury.  Dudes need to be held accountable instead of just getting a slap on the wrist because even me leaving that situation before it got sexual was enough to give me trust issues for years. These are things that haunt you for literal decades afterwards even if nothing physical actually occurs, but in the case that it does? I can't begin to imagine what those women are going through
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Mar 23, 2021 22:16
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pentyne posted:The story "hey this 40 year old guy uses his fame to meet female fans in the 18-22 range, tell them he loves them, acts like he'll date them, and then brutally dumps them the second they have sex with him" should've been the main topic but because the initial tweet tagged it as pedophile grooming, once that was suspect the floodgates immediately shifted to playing up that assumption as cancel culture run amok and ignoring everything problematic about his self-admitted behavior in favoring of arguing whether or not someone can consent at the 18-22 age range. Yeah that's more what my issue was; child grooming and what actually happened are two different issues and the one that actually took place is easily glossed over now because it's "technically legal". The late teens to mid twenties range is such a mixed bag of emotions and you're only just finished baking from a developmental standpoint by the end of them, it's lovely if somebody famous takes advantage of that for easy guilt-free hookups. Something can be technically legal and still be questioned on a moral or ethical level imo
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Mar 27, 2021 08:47
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