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e Please reply with a one to four sentence paragraph and I will call you an rear end in a top hat. |
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Nov 13, 2017 06:44
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I just cannot stop farting. I go to the movie theater and it's just loud rear end-ripping farts that clear entire rows and evoke snide remarks from the characters on the screen, I go to church service and it's nothing but butt blasts from the pits of hell, the pastor thinks I am possessed by the devil. I haven't eaten in days and yet I just can't stop flapping rear end on the bus, a homeless person told me I smelled like a sewer line backed up into a McDonald's dumpster. I fart in my sleep, during business meetings, I am permanently excused from serving jury duty. It's seriously starting to affect the quality of my life, what is wrong with me and what can I do about it?
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Nov 13, 2017 11:29
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Dads Dip Cup posted:I just cannot stop farting. I go to the movie theater and it's just loud rear end-ripping farts that clear entire rows and evoke snide remarks from the characters on the screen, I go to church service and it's nothing but butt blasts from the pits of hell, the pastor thinks I am possessed by the devil. I haven't eaten in days and yet I just can't stop flapping rear end on the bus, a homeless person told me I smelled like a sewer line backed up into a McDonald's dumpster. I fart in my sleep, during business meetings, I am permanently excused from serving jury duty. It's seriously starting to affect the quality of my life, what is wrong with me and what can I do about it? Well, first things first, where the gently caress is my money? Are you aware that I might have taken courses on Psychology? |
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Nov 13, 2017 12:26
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Hi Doc, Every time I think about my parents having sex I just start screaming. I don't know why it happens. Sometimes I scream for so long that I black out, and when I wake out there are holes in the wall, and sometimes some glass is broken. Sometimes I wake up with a bruise on my knuckles or a black eye, sometimes I wake up in a different place. Once, when I regained consciousness I was actually on the run from the police. I can't help it. Everytime I think about it I Just get So maAD tha tI loving GET MAD AN So anyway can you tell me if this is just a pimple or a spider bite on my arm please
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Nov 13, 2017 17:06
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UWBW posted:Hi Doc, |
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Nov 13, 2017 18:27
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Doc, Whenever I urinate it sounds like a teakettle going off and it's embarrassing. I drink plenty of water, get yearly checkups and everything's fine, but it's really bothersome in a public restroom. Also, it tickles alot so I of course giggle like a fool the whole time, and when I laugh it's not so much a laugh as it is a cackle, and I fart. My farts sound like a choo-choo train, a sort of "shwoo" sound, and they come in pairs so it sounds like a "shwoo shwoo" sound. I doubt you can but please help! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Nov 13, 2017 18:33
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You have hot bladder and conductor bowels, both are treatable conditions. |
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Nov 13, 2017 18:48
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I have one eye, but I am not blind. My breath is worse than your brother in law's, but better than your mother in law's. I work out but once or twice a day yet I'm all muscle. Whats the diagnosis doc? |
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Nov 13, 2017 18:57
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♫ Doctor, Doctor, give me the news, I've got a- ♫ pain in my colon, and one of my prized egyptian vases has gone missing.
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Nov 13, 2017 19:02
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UWBW posted:Hi Doc, Sounds serious. Do you have Medicare? |
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Nov 14, 2017 12:20
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Gay Weed Dad posted:I have one eye, but I am not blind. My breath is worse than your brother in law's, but better than your mother in law's. I work out but once or twice a day yet I'm all muscle. Whats the diagnosis doc? This sounds like an extremely severe case. Before I start my diagnosis, I will body slam you. |
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Nov 14, 2017 12:23
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| I have billed you all for $5,000. If you want to appeal, you'll get a FIST IN YOUR FACE. | |
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Nov 14, 2017 12:54
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Hey doc my kneecaps really freak me out, Im real skinny and they look weird But also like they feel like a part of the body thats probably under alot of strain? So Im afraid they might like "pop out" or break in some way What should I do? ---------------- |
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Nov 16, 2017 21:38
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Chasterson posted:Hey doc my kneecaps really freak me out, Im real skinny and they look weird I recommend you stay away from shady Italian men with baseball bats.
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Nov 16, 2017 21:51
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