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«36 »
Jason Jordan?
This poll is closed.
I feel sorry for the guy 27 14.14%
He deserved it 9 4.71%
155 81.15%
Total: 191 votes
[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

  • Locked thread
Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?




____________________________

Raw Results

  • Stephanie talked poo poo about Kurt Angle for awhile, accused him of nepotism (several thousand viewers died of an irony overload) and told him he was stuck in the 90s. She was about to fire him when The Shield (with Roman Reigns) returned. Steph talked poo poo to them too, Romans came back saying that she doesn't tell them what to do, they do what they want. He declared The Shield was going to take on The New Day at Survivor Series in a six-man tag.

  • Bayley defeated Mickie James and Dana Brooke to become the 5th Member of Team Raw. Alicia Fox, Sasha, Nia and Asuka were at ringside. At one point Dana got knocked out on the ring and attacked Asuka when she checked on her. Asuka proceeded to chase Dana around the ring and give her a spin-kick, which the crowd greatly enjoyed.

  • ENzo Amore and Drew Gulak defeated Tozawa and Kalisto. Tozawa was about to hit his Senton on Enzo when Gulak tried to pull him clear. Kalisto took out Gulak, Enzo knocked Tozawa into Kalisto and then hit his finisher on Tozawa and got the pin.

  • Backstage, Kurt talked to Team Raw about proving Stephanie wrong for questioning his choices. He began making matches for each of them, but Braun cut him off quickly to declare that he wanted Kane and would accept no other match. Kurt agreed.

  • MizTV featured the Miztourage and The Bar celebrating The Bar's tag title victory last week. They announced they would face The Shield in a six-man tag tonight and defeat them ahead of their inevitable defeat of the "B-Team Champions" at Survivor Series.

  • Jason Jordan just managed to eke out a victory over Bray Wyatt, which Cole and Graves tried to sell as proof that he belonged on Team Raw. The crowd was less than impressed and cheered to see Wyatt beat him down after the match. Backstage Steph and Kurt were watching and Kurt freaked out, rushing off to see his fallen son while the crowd chanted,"THANK YOU WYATT!" - Jason limped back up the ramp while the crowd sang,"Na na na na, goodbye."

  • Backstage, Kurt suggested dropping Jason from Team Raw because he wasn't at full fitness. Jordan tearfully insisted that he'd waited for this opportunity his entire life and he needed this.... "dad." Kurt seemed unsure what to do.

  • Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came to the ring where Heyman did a 5 point preview of why it was so important to watch Brock vs AJ Styles at Survivor Series (because it'll own). A member of the crowd proposed to his girlfriend who accepted, leading to a pretty awesome retort from Heyman which Brock found hilarious.

  • The Shield came to the ring through the crowd:


  • THe Shield defeated The Miz and The Bar in an exciting match that broke down in a fun way towards the end with lots of counters/reversals/run-ins etc.

  • Kurt Angle came out to announce he was going to remove Jason Jordan from Team Raw. Jordan came out and begged him not to take him out of the match. Steph showed up and yelled at Kurt to get on with it and take Jordan out of the match. Kurt hesitated so Triple H showed up, got in the ring, declared that if Kurt wouldn't do it then he would, and announced the new fifth member of Team Raw was HHH. Then he pedigreed Jordan. The crowd loved the latter parts.

  • Finn Balor and Samoa Joe defeated The Club in a tag team match, but the second the match was over (Finn pinned Anderson), Joe stormed off up the ramp.

  • Alexa Bliss was interviewed backstage where she suggested she might show up at Smackdown tomorrow to watch Charlotte vs Nattie for the Smackdown Women's title, as well as her own opponent for Survivor Series.

  • Kane vs Braun Strowman ended with a No Contest after Braun hit the running powerslam on Kane and they both smashed through the ring. This is how the show ended.
____________________________

Smackdown Results
  • Shane rallied the troops backstage to get them psyched up for Survivor Series. Becky, Corbin and New Day took turns talking poo poo about Raw opponents and BIG E lead the roster in a chant of "SMACK DOWN ROCKS". Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn stood stone-faced in the background.

  • Daniel Bryan came to the ring and did a promo talking up Smackdown over Raw, then proudly introduced the new WWE Champion AJ Styles. AJ got a fantastic reaction from the crowd.

  • Bryan decided to act as the Paul Heyman to AJ Styles' Brock Lesnar, doing his,"Ladies and Gentlemen..." bit. He pointed out that Brock has a tendency to quit when the going gets tough, and that AJ is going to take Brock into deep waters. He cut a great promo about why Brock would lose, and put AJ over huge in the process. AJ admitted he is the underdog but that at the end of Survivor Series he will be the one standing tall.

  • Backstage, AJ crossed paths with Jinder, who promised that Brock tearing him apart would be nothing compared to what Jinder would do to him to get his title back. AJ sneered and walked away without a word.

  • Baron Corbin defeated Sin Cara to retain his US Title and keep his match against IC Champion Miz at Survivor Series. Sin Cara got in plenty of offense but Corbin's win was dominant.

  • Shane and Bryan met backstage where Bryan told him he was completely onboard supporting Smackdown over Raw through Survivor Series, but after that the two of them needed to have a long talk about Shane not consulting with him about the raid on Raw.

  • In her hometown, Charlotte defeated Nattie to win the Smackdown Women's Championship and gain the spot against Alexa Bliss at Survivor Series. Crowd was hot and the match was good, with a nicely done tease of Charlotte tapping to the Sharpshooter before finally locking in the Figure 8 on Nattie. Charlotte did a promo afterwards promising to beat Alexa and then passing on a message of love to Ric Flair.

  • RIC FLAIR SHOWED UP

  • The Bludgeon Brothers are set to appear next week.

  • Jimmy Uso pinned Chad Gable. Gable had things under control but stopped to argue with Jey Uso outside the ring, shoved him and then ran away trying to lead him into Shelton Benjamin's ambush. Jey escaped, took out Shelton and Gable was distracted which allowed Jimmy to get the drop on him.

  • With Charlotte now the Women's Champion, it was announced that a replacement will have to be found to fill out Smackdown's women's team. One would presume it will probably be Paige?

  • Backstage Sami and Owens complained about how Shane's vindictiveness was keeping them out of the Survivor Series match.

  • The New Day did a promo mocking The Shield ahead of their Survivor Series match.

  • New Day vs Kevin and Sami went to a No-Contest when The Shield showed up in hybrid Raw/Shield shirts. Kevin and Sami momentarily stood side by side with New Day before bailing and leaving them to take a beating from The Shield. Smackdown stars came down to help but more and more of the Raw roster rushed in to assault them.

  • Backstage, the Raw Women's team attacked the women's locker room, surrounded Charlotte and beat her down.

  • In-ring, Shane joined the Smackdown roster trying to fight off Raw. Things were even for a time but then Kurt Angle appeared and brought out BRAUN!!!!!! who destroyed everybody, including Shane (but he did sell for some of Shane's awful punches). Kurt got into the ring as The Shield held Shane, told him that it would be worse for him on Sunday, then signalled for the Triple Powerbomb.

  • Kurt hit Shane with the Angle Slam, then the Shield hit him with another Triple Powerbomb and the show ended with Angle grinning in front of the assembled Raw roster lookng at the carnage in the ring.
____________________________

Survivor Series

Dango Bango posted:

Please include the ages of the Raw and SD team members in the discussion thread OP

Team Raw
Kurt Angle (48)
Triple H (48)
Samoa Joe (38)
Finn Balor (36)
Braun Strowman (34)
Total Age = 204
Average Age = 40.8

Team Smackdown
Shane McMahon (47)
John Cena (40)
Bobby Roode (40)
Shinsuke Nakamura (37)
Randy Orton (37)
Total Age = 201
Average Age = 40.2

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at Nov 15, 2017 around 03:01

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Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.



then

now

forever

Baron Corbin
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you


Muldoon

wwe sucks

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

Die Jordan Die

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

Ms. Money


that jason jordan segment ruled just because he loving sucks.

also please remember to pour one out for dana, who got murdered tonight by doing something real stupid and pissing off asuka.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


That was one of the more dire Raws in quite some time, I have to say.

Ragnarok the Red
Jun 21, 2002

Why don't you love me, father?


Jordan needs to turn badly but even that probably won't save the storyline.

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



The post European Tour Raws are always on the meh side cause of jet lag and the booking didn't help too much. Really they should just tape it before flying back and given the crew the night off

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one


MotU
Mar 6, 2007

If you're gonna do it, do it with ~*~Axefaire~*~


Jerusalem posted:

That was one of the more dire Raws in quite some time, I have to say.

a Dire Raw is just like a regular raw except with 2 more hit die and a +1/+1/+3 on its claws and bite so idk what the issue is

Chinston Wurchill
Jun 27, 2010

It's not that kind of test.

They're going to replace Nakamura with the Undertaker tomorrow aren't they?

Erebus
Jul 13, 2001

Okay... Keep your head, Steve boy...



The miracle of birth is so beautiful

Baron Corbin
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you


Muldoon

the wwe has nothing left

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Detroit





College Slice

I'm glad I watched Raw this week because it allowed me to experience death without actually dying.

DukeofCA
Aug 17, 2011

I am shocked and appalled.

Somebody put Stephanie through another table.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Bill Goldberg posted:

the wwe has nothing left

And it won't matter because the people who are still subbed will either stay subbed via free months, or be replaced by an equal amount of people who want free months

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one


Bill Goldberg posted:

the wwe has nothing left

SatoshiMiwa
May 6, 2007



I find it amazing that Bray Wyatt returned only to lose to a guy HHH buried later in the show.

Peak WWE 2017

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013


Balor/Joe vs Gallows/Anderson and the Shield/Bar match were sweet, and I was actually entertained by the hokey-rear end Jordan and Angle thing until HHH and Steph came in with the shovels, but yeah that RAW was awful overall.

I'm still beating this dead horse, but Kane belongs nowhere near a wrestling ring. He was already a mediocre wrestler in his prime carried by his gimmick, and now that he's an old man he's even slower and fatter. It takes some effort to kill a Braun match because Braun's usually charismatic enough to carry an otherwise boring match, but there's no carrying Kane. The only thing about Kane that is worth anything is his name, he used up whatever talent he had a long time ago. The non-finish certainly helped, but the crowd was already dead by that point.

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

this is a job for the Punk

The WWE just super duper hates anyone under 31, I guess.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


CarlCX posted:

The WWE just super duper hates anyone under 31, I guess.

People on the main card in their 20s: Alexa, Naomi, Sasha, Bayley

So as with everything, it's 50/50

On preshow Kalisto's 30, but so's Enzo, so that also is 50/50

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008



Gravy Boat 2k

Wonder how many dorks are gonna cheer for Trips this time? How many times must a man kick down the door and demand to poo poo down his own leg before audiences tell him to stop? Please stop giving HHH the time of day, for his sake.

Tomahawk
Aug 12, 2003

HE KNOWS


Shinjobi posted:

Wonder how many dorks are gonna cheer for Trips this time? How many times must a man kick down the door and demand to poo poo down his own leg before audiences tell him to stop? Please stop giving HHH the time of day, for his sake.

did you really wanna see jason jordan in that match

Kull the Conqueror
Apr 8, 2006



Ragnarok the Red posted:

Jordan needs to turn badly but even that probably won't save the storyline.

why would they ever have a storyline where kurt angle has a long lost son and then just play it straight sentimental? Shouldn't he be obnoxious and entitled from the get go? I imagine it'd be hard to match Angle's knack for that kind of performance but I still can't believe that wasn't the premise

tweet my meat
Oct 2, 2013


Tomahawk posted:

did you really wanna see jason jordan in that match

I would rather see them work with younger fresher talent than throw in old wrestlers at the younger talent's expense. I would rather see JJ over HHH in the match.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


So my guess is that Team Raw will lose and that HHH will somehow be to blame, and when Kurt points this out to Steph it causes a feud that will culminate at I guess Wrestlemania.

But then that does depend on HHH losing and Kurt getting to point out he lost, so maybe the end result of this will be they lose because of Kurt, then Steph and HHH call him a loser and fire him, then they just continue on without comeuppance.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Tomahawk posted:

did you really wanna see jason jordan in that match

If you put a gun to my head and said who I'd rather see, HHH or Jason Jordan, it'd be immediately Jason. I wouldn't say that about more than like, maybe 2 other possible replacements, but still

rovert
Jun 10, 2013

ATTENTION HOTLINE FANS!

There is hot news circulating about your favorite or most hated promotion or wrestler, but because of the sensitivity of these scoops I can't talk about them here on Something Awful.

To get the low down exclusive, call my hotline now!


The average age of the main event on Sunday is 40.5 years old.

Big Coffin Hunter
Aug 13, 2005



triple h sucks

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

this is a job for the Punk

I would never say that Jason Jordan is or is ever going to be a HHH-level talent, but philosophically the company should be cultivating younger talent to carry the program into the future so anytime you say 'let's squash our promising young midcarder in favor of this going-on-fifty part-timer' you should have a really good reason, and 'we hosed him up with a bad storyline' is not a good reason.

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



CarlCX posted:

I would never say that Jason Jordan is or is ever going to be a HHH-level talent, but philosophically the company should be cultivating younger talent to carry the program into the future so anytime you say 'let's squash our promising young midcarder in favor of this going-on-fifty part-timer' you should have a really good reason, and 'we hosed him up with a bad storyline' is not a good reason.

hmm but have you considered that trips and Kurt both need wrestlemania matches for no reason

cams
Mar 28, 2003



...it is not a joke when people say the point of the wwe is to put the mcmahons over as a brand. i mean, it's funny, so it's a joke in that way, but it is literally true.

i imagine if you asked vince mcmahon what the most important part of the wwe as a product, he'd probably say himself.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Remember when Hulk Hogan, Rock and Austin were in the ring together at Wrestlemania and noted that they were figures of the past and tonight was about celebrating the new, young generation of wrestlers who were the stars of the future? Then you had Daniel Bryan defeat first Triple H and then in the main event Batista and Orton? Plus The Shield defeated The New Age Outlaws, a relic of the Attitude Era and kickstarted a feud with Evolution that saw them completely clean-sweep them?

Things were really looking up there for a hot minute

CubsWoo
Aug 17, 2005

Where the big boys RAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGH FUCK YOU


Jinder loses the title and all the shows turn bad, all of you were warned

CarlCX
Dec 14, 2003

this is a job for the Punk

Jerusalem posted:

Remember when Hulk Hogan, Rock and Austin were in the ring together at Wrestlemania and noted that they were figures of the past and tonight was about celebrating the new, young generation of wrestlers who were the stars of the future? Then you had Daniel Bryan defeat first Triple H and then in the main event Batista and Orton? Plus The Shield defeated The New Age Outlaws, a relic of the Attitude Era and kickstarted a feud with Evolution that saw them completely clean-sweep them?

Things were really looking up there for a hot minute



It just keeps getting sadder.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

CarlCX posted:



It just keeps getting sadder.

Jesus, Kofi and Ryder are the only survivors.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012

plz remember that it was ~ME~ who told you that everything you like is actually really not good, because I knew all along.


Rhonne posted:

Jesus, Kofi and Ryder are the only survivors.

Ryder's deal is up before January

Raskolnikov38
Mar 3, 2007

We were somewhere around Manila when the drugs began to take hold



congratulations to Kofi Kingston on being the sole survivor then

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rovert
Jun 10, 2013

ATTENTION HOTLINE FANS!

There is hot news circulating about your favorite or most hated promotion or wrestler, but because of the sensitivity of these scoops I can't talk about them here on Something Awful.

To get the low down exclusive, call my hotline now!


With lack of build Alexa vs Nattie has gotten Charlotte has to be winning the title tomorrow right?

  • Locked thread
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