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ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Hello again, lovelies! Your sacharrine buddy Contraboss here with a slightly different thread this time. I want to talk about CRABS!

I think crabs of all types are fascinating, entertaining, and even adorable at times. They are often dicks to each other, but it's just an amusing quirk about them that I love. And if you're not into seeing them live, well then it's all good because it's well known that they are fuckin' tasty when cooked up right!

Here are some crabs being crabby:









Whoa.....easy man, we can talk about this...




Even crabs have rear end in a top hat neighbors!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1FkUJmC6sNc

Hey lookit this lil guy! He's-...errr...oh...wait...



Of course, I can't post this thread without mentioning one of my own little crustaceans. Meet Jojo! He's a land hermit crab, or more specifically known as a Purple Pincher because of their big-rear end purple claw that provides protection when hiding in their shells. I've had him for several years, and he is by far the largest hermit crab I've ever had. He is also the friendliest of all my crabs; he doesn't spook easily, and he even approaches me, "sniffing" the air with his antennae when I open the terrarium lid because he thinks he's getting treats or exercise. Sometimes, I like to fan a slice of pizza over the tank and watch his antennae go apeshit as he searches for a pizza-flavored carcass.

His favorite activities include eating, climbing, parking his fat rear end in front of the entrances of the other crabs' hiding spots which blocks them, trying on different shells, going for "walks" when I let him roam freely on the floor, more eating, and making GBS threads in the water dish.

His favorite foods include: coconut, tuna, birdseed, pumpkin, oak leaves, crayfish, persimmon, freshly killed insects(especially any unlucky flies that get trapped at our windows), chicken, boiled eggs, jalepenos, and Burger King Whopper meat.

Here he is putting in some work on a shrimp tail:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3mnHkX6jAxg

Yes, I'm a grown-rear end man that has hermit crabs. Fight me, bitch.

Anyways, this is a thread to post about crabs. Tell me what you like about 'em, or feel free to post crabs of your own!

(V)(°,,,,°)(V)
..../// \\\
*pinch* pinch*

(lol OP has crabs)

ContraBoss fucked around with this message at 00:33 on Nov 16, 2017

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givepatajob
Apr 8, 2003

One finds that this is the best of all possible worlds.

Dinosaur Gum

I’m the crab about to have it’s face snipped off by scissors.

ekuNNN
Nov 27, 2004





Over There
Jun 28, 2013


I love crabs OP

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003




ekuNNN
Nov 27, 2004







Millions of Crows
Mar 31, 2010

take a look overhead

M4 part 2 is only music video to dramatise a full scale crab war:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gISlB1IdUjI

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Can someone explain to me the pros and cons of a singular crab cycle versus a multiple one?

Hustlin Floh
Jul 20, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


OP I'm going to find your hermit crab and merc him because you filmed him in profile mode.

ekuNNN
Nov 27, 2004





ContraBoss posted:

Can someone explain to me the pros and cons of a singular crab cycle versus a multiple one?

Some marine biologist made the multiple crab cycle in response to the other one:

quote:

The weird thing to me about that crab cycle meme is that crabs have these weirdly complicated life-cycles, in which they change shape an entirely excessive number of times. So really…

Nooner
Mar 26, 2007

an A+ poster (:


i hated this fucker in casino night zone

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Hustlin Floh posted:

OP I'm going to find your hermit crab and merc him because you filmed him in profile mode.

I did. It was a very impromptu video taken on a whim. I'll explain to him why he's about to get stomped, and I think he'll understand so it's cool.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is



the person that taught me how to clean crabs never bothered to mercy kill them so when i popped the shell off they'd still be alive and wriggle around it was metal and brutal af

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT60uf4qT4I

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.



lol I remember this. I don't normally like videos of animals getting owned, but sometimes it's funny enough for a pass

a bone to pick
Sep 14, 2011

by FactsAreUseless


Coconut crabs can kill birds

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELfaZ_Bqzrw

just another
Oct 16, 2009

these dead towns that make the maps wrong now

Next summer I hope to buy a kayak so I can go fetch some dungeness crabs from the ocean outside my door.

ekuNNN
Nov 27, 2004





ContraBoss posted:

lol I remember this. I don't normally like videos of animals getting owned, but sometimes it's funny enough for a pass

oh yes i agree, but this one is just so weird. Sorry about posting crab death

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is



you have to kill the crabs before they kill you

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Percelus posted:

the person that taught me how to clean crabs never bothered to mercy kill them so when i popped the shell off they'd still be alive and wriggle around it was metal and brutal af

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hT60uf4qT4I

That's the nice thing about living around Baltimore for now is the crabby cuisine. I can't eat any other sad, chumpy crab cakes now.

But then, growing up in Alaska had its perks man....

Local King crab

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015



Crabs loving own. Good thread OP.



Christmas Island biiiiiiiiitch

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.



These dudes.....

They are a close cousin of the PP hermit crabs. In fact, when they are young, they carry around a shell just like any other hermit!

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Honky Dong Country posted:

Crabs loving own. Good thread OP.



Christmas Island biiiiiiiiitch

Yissssssss!

I want to visit that island soooooo badly during that time of year. Hell, I think it's also a fair way to pay homage to the goatman

spinderella
Jul 15, 2017

by FactsAreUseless


Spiders of the Sea

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015



ContraBoss posted:

Yissssssss!

I want to visit that island soooooo badly during that time of year. Hell, I think it's also a fair way to pay homage to the goatman

Godamn right. Original .cx domain. I always wondered if the locals just eat the poo poo out of those crabs during their migration or whatever. Like godamn look at all that crab. Maybe they somehow taste like poo poo or something.

Spinster posted:

Spiders of the Sea

I've always speculated that the first humans to eat a crab were prolly starving before they got around to "Yeah gently caress it I'll eat that spiny water spider."

me your dad
Jul 25, 2006



Blue crabs are delicious. Fiddler crabs are funny. Hermit crabs have a home which they haul on their backs.

Hustlin Floh
Jul 20, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


How many crabs could you beat in a fight if you had a comically oversized mallet? I'd say probably 15,400.

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008


Sometimes you gotta break the rules.


Spinster posted:

Spiders of the Sea

As long as I don't look into a crabs horrifying death mouth I find them cute and not horrifying. Something about eight eyes little hairs and no tiny relatable arms just changes the equation in my dumb ape brain.

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Spinster posted:

Spiders of the Sea

Well...it makes sense in every possible way!

Crab Spiders







FisheyStix
Jul 2, 2008

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.


found this Pincerless Earthcrab today hope u like it

Bad Titty Puker
Nov 3, 2007

!!

Soiled Meat

Can you really eat the crab guts? TV says so

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=513je2VQZ2c

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is



you can but it's p gross

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


FisheyStix posted:

found this Pincerless Earthcrab today hope u like it



Hey, hey, hey! We can only cover so many arthropods at a time, buddy! I would save this for the inevitable SPIDER thread!

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is



they literally eat poo poo off the ocean floor and that's whats being digested in their gut

Zeluth
May 12, 2001



Acht! Mein Leiben!

Only registered members can see post attachments!

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YrEr9Z0LUtA

Gridlocked
Aug 2, 2014

MR. STUPID MORON
WITH AN UGLY FACE
AND A BIG BUTT
AND HIS BUTT SMELLS
AND HE LIKES TO KISS
HIS OWN BUTT
by Roger Hargreaves


Shank Crab is my spirit animal

Applesnots
Oct 22, 2010

MERRY YOBMAS



That is a pretty awesome pet crab you have there op.

Percelus
Sep 9, 2012

My command, your wish is



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bT1KZC7WRFM

CelticPredator
Oct 11, 2013



Applesnots posted:

That is a pretty awesome pet crab you have there op.

I wish it was mine

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maskenfreiheit
Dec 30, 2004


crabs in a bucket is my fave metaphor OP

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