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FactsAreUseless

hello im well on my way to bcoming a sex servant four you.
i should be in hollywood being supper rich with a childish softcore escort.will you send me some cumfort now jamout kidrcock in my chevy silverado.ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it,and also too attractto atract some one like yo an youre er kinky makes me fell horny rear end hell.and makess me lauf out load..! my name is Mark lloyd with silver silverado duromax 4x4 mag wheeles bed liner automatick transmittion with kidrock licence plates to gett my atension fell good to type cause my handwrighting isnt very good i learnd in jr hi school a feuw years ago. i tought abuot becmming a vetrinarian. horse dokter i kind of got sidetraked. if sex please email me thnks ML

lisen to thhis and think about it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKFx0MMqb48

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FactsAreUseless

Mark Lloyd facts:

1. Mark Lloyd owns a Chevy Silverado Duramax. It is silver. It has 4x4 mag(?) wheeles[sic], a bed liner, and an automatic transmission.
2. Mark Lloyd has Kid Rock license plates. It is unclear if these are plate frames, or vanity plates.
3. Mark Lloyd should be in Hollywood.
4. Mark Lloyd should be super rich.
5. Mark Lloyd should be with a "childish softcore escort."
6. Mark Lloyd has been playing with magnets.
7. Mark Lloyd is trying to change the world as we know it.
8. Mark Lloyd wants to attract someone like me, and I'm er kinky.
9. This makes Mark Lloyd feel horny as hell.
10. This makes Mark Lloyd laugh out loud.
11. Mark Lloyd does not have good handwriting.
12. Because Mark Lloyd does not have good handwriting, he compensates with Kid Rock license plates to get attention.
13. A few years ago, Mark Lloyd was in junior high.
14. Mark Lloyd thought about becoming a veterinarian.
15. Mark Lloyd thought about becoming a horse doctor.
16. Mark Lloyd got sidetracked.
17. Mark Lloyd is well on his way to becoming a sex servant for me.

FactsAreUseless

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."

Macnult


FactsAreUseless posted:

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."

lmao


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Macnult


the Mark lloyd accion figure comes quippd with silver silverado duromax 4x4 mag wheeles bed liner automatick transmittion with kidrock licence plates


thank you city of glompton for the sig

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN
So have you guys banged in the extended cab of his Silverado while listening to kid rock yet or what? Or at least played with magnets while lounging on his bed liner?

alnilam




mag wheels means like as opposed to spoked wheels, which cars haven't used in decades lol

Mark is a man of detail I'll tell you what, that or a fan of klassik kars

alnilam




also here is an actual spam email i received:

Dear [my first name], Take regular walks -- after dinner with the family, a walk instead of a drive or take the dog for a stroll., Thank You.

there was no link, no attachment, nothing at all, and hell, it's good advice!

alnilam




Maybe Mark can become a sex servant to a horse doctor / veterinarian, in exchange for apprenticeship/training

Mark Lloyd may seem sidetracked but he is well on his way to becoming a horse doctor

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN

alnilam posted:

also here is an actual spam email i received:

Dear [my first name], Take regular walks -- after dinner with the family, a walk instead of a drive or take the dog for a stroll., Thank You.

there was no link, no attachment, nothing at all, and hell, it's good advice!

I now want to hack in to an email database, not for profit, just to send people positive messages.

"Yes your honor, I am guilty... of being nice, helpful, and uplifting."

Android Blues


FactsAreUseless posted:

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."

FactsAreUseless

alnilam posted:

also here is an actual spam email i received:

Dear [my first name], Take regular walks -- after dinner with the family, a walk instead of a drive or take the dog for a stroll., Thank You.

there was no link, no attachment, nothing at all, and hell, it's good advice!
I've been playing with regular walks, trying to change the world as I know it. I'm well on my way to becoming a dog walker for you.

FactsAreUseless

Macnult posted:

the Mark lloyd accion figure comes quippd with silver silverado duromax 4x4 mag wheeles bed liner automatick transmittion with kidrock licence plates
[small child playing with action figure on camera, imitating his signature catchphrase] That makes me horny as hell!

And don't miss these other exciting accessories, like Mark Lloyd's Play And Learn With Magnets, the Childish Softcore Escort, and Sheryl Crow!

Barking Gecko

No wuckers, mate.

Leavin' Las Vegas in a Silverado 4x4 with mag wheels.

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
Mark Lloyd pulls his Silver Chevy Silverado Duramax into the parking lot of the horse doctor school. "This is your time Mark, it's time to become the kind of man that Kid would respect." He walks into the front door of the school and sees a white-board on the wall for new student sign ups. "This marker... How does it stay on the board? It's stuck to the wall as if by magic. Am I dreaming?" He frantically looks around for someone to share this discovery with. "Ma'am! Do you see this?!" He removes the marker from the board and feels it snap back to the board again and again. "How can this be? What forces are at work here?" The receptionist looks at Mark with a confused look. "There's a magnet on that marker that makes it stick to the board", she says. Mark can barely process this statement. To be honest, it makes him horny as hell. He nearly laughs out loud before exclaiming, "A magnut? This could change the world!" Mark runs out the front door of the school clutching the marker tightly. Dreams of fame, riches, and childish softcore escorts fill his mind. He will never again return to the horse doctor school.

FactsAreUseless

Barking Gecko posted:

Leavin' Las Vegas in a Silverado 4x4 with mag wheels.
I should be in Hollywood with a childish softcore escort. I should teach her how to run baby, run baby, run baby, run.

FactsAreUseless

Jolo posted:

Mark Lloyd pulls his Silver Chevy Silverado Duramax into the parking lot of the horse doctor school. "This is your time Mark, it's time to become the kind of man that Kid would respect." He walks into the front door of the school and sees a white-board on the wall for new student sign ups. "This marker... How does it stay on the board? It's stuck to the wall as if by magic. Am I dreaming?" He frantically looks around for someone to share this discovery with. "Ma'am! Do you see this?!" He removes the marker from the board and feels it snap back to the board again and again. "How can this be? What forces are at work here?" The receptionist looks at Mark with a confused look. "There's a magnet on that marker that makes it stick to the board", she says. Mark can barely process this statement. To be honest, it makes him horny as hell. He nearly laughs out loud before exclaiming, "A magnut? This could change the world!" Mark runs out the front door of the school clutching the marker tightly. Dreams of fame, riches, and childish softcore escorts fill his mind. He will never again return to the horse doctor school.

sockingtonsworth


FactsAreUseless posted:

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."

alnilam




Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Mark Lynn. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Lynn, he called himself "Horny as Hell". Now, "Horny" - there's somethin no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about Mark that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Veterinary School "Junior High"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there...

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

FactsAreUseless posted:

Mark Lloyd facts:

6. Mark Lloyd has been playing with magnets.
8. Mark Lloyd wants to attract someone like me, and I'm er kinky.
9. This makes Mark Lloyd feel horny as hell.
10. This makes Mark Lloyd laugh out loud.
17. Mark Lloyd is well on his way to becoming a sex servant for me.

I can't stop laughing at this post. This thing made my day FAU. Thanks for sharing.

FactsAreUseless

Jolo posted:

I can't stop laughing at this post. This thing made my day FAU. Thanks for sharing.
It also made me happy. I hope it makes the front page, to the confusion of many.

Majuju

AAAAAAAAAA

Mark Lloyd's propensity for magnets would lend itself to a career in cattle veterinary medicine, where magnets are routinely fed to calves with the purpose of attracting any metallic objects the cows might swallow while grazing, thereby preventing hardware disease in the animals.

UWBW

Permanently banned from the Alamo

ok but did you email him back? don't be rude, he's byob-famous now


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig, and Koishi for the last one. TVsVeryOwn made the CyberMike.

Barking Gecko

No wuckers, mate.

FactsAreUseless posted:

I should be in Hollywood with a childish softcore escort. I should teach her how to run baby, run baby, run baby, run.

Like Steve McQueen, except it's like Mark Lloyd.

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN

alnilam posted:

Way out west there was this fella I wanna tell ya about. Goes by the name of Mark Lynn. At least that was the handle his loving parents gave him, but he never had much use for it himself. See, this Lynn, he called himself "Horny as Hell". Now, "Horny" - there's somethin no man would self-apply where I come from. But then there was a lot about Mark that didn't make a whole lot of sense. And a lot about where he lived, likewise. But then again, maybe that's why I found the place so darned interestin'. See, they call Veterinary School "Junior High"; but I didn't find it to be that, exactly. But I'll allow it as there are some nice folks there...

Those magnets really pulled those metals together Dude

google THIS


DMV Employee: I'm sorry sir, vanity plates are limited to seven characters. But "KIIIIII" is available.

Mark Lloyd: (dumps a plastic bag full of magnetic letter I's out onto the counter, then pulls a D, R, O, C, and K out of his pocket) Time to change the world!

SCROTO TURBOSPERG

Suck the shit out of my own asshole, please
Mark Lloyd really squandered his lil anakin money

alnilam




Mark Lloyd, experimenting with magnets: this could change the world...

Mark's brother Christopher: Great Scott!!

Jolo

ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it
I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the Chevy Silverado into the av, but am happy with how it turned out

alnilam




Jolo posted:

I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the Chevy Silverado into the av, but am happy with how it turned out

google THIS


Jolo posted:

I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the Chevy Silverado into the av, but am happy with how it turned out

laufing out load

google THIS


alnilam posted:

also here is an actual spam email i received:

Dear [my first name], Take regular walks -- after dinner with the family, a walk instead of a drive or take the dog for a stroll., Thank You.

there was no link, no attachment, nothing at all, and hell, it's good advice!

The generation that comes after us will be really disappointed whenever they don't have an adequate amount of spam in their inboxes, feeling listless without their daily dose of sage advice and aspiring sex servants. Professional spam writers will be furiously misspelling simple words 16 hours a day until their fingers bleed, absolutely raking in the cash but barely able to keep up with the voracious demand. We'll be looking on in bemusement, not sure whether to marvel at how the world has changed or curse the younger generation like our parents before us.

FactsAreUseless

Jolo posted:

I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the Chevy Silverado into the av, but am happy with how it turned out
loving lmao

Ultra Spoot


Get equipped with: sex magnet

Twenty Four

HAIKOOLIGAN

Jolo posted:

I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the Chevy Silverado into the av, but am happy with how it turned out

whoah! lol

drilldo squirt

a beautiful, soft meat sack

FactsAreUseless posted:

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."

----------------

HotSoapyBeard

I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
I just looked up what Silverado duramax and mag wheels are, looks pretty cool Iím not going to lie.

alnilam




HotSoapyBeard posted:

I just looked up what Silverado duramax and mag wheels are, looks pretty cool I’m not going to lie.

looks like mark lloyd is well on his way to becoming a sex servant for you

sockingtonsworth


I wish mark Lloyd was well on his way to becoming a sex servant for me

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drilldo squirt

a beautiful, soft meat sack

If Mark Lloid is everyone's sex servant then that gives us one thing in common, it binds together all of mankind into a single people as Mark Lloid's sexual master.

----------------

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