FactsAreUseless posted:

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."