Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
FactsAreUseless

hello im well on my way to bcoming a sex servant four you.
i should be in hollywood being supper rich with a childish softcore escort.will you send me some cumfort now jamout kidrcock in my chevy silverado.ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it,and also too attractto atract some one like yo an youre er kinky makes me fell horny rear end hell.and makess me lauf out load..! my name is Mark lloyd with silver silverado duromax 4x4 mag wheeles bed liner automatick transmittion with kidrock licence plates to gett my atension fell good to type cause my handwrighting isnt very good i learnd in jr hi school a feuw years ago. i tought abuot becmming a vetrinarian. horse dokter i kind of got sidetraked. if sex please email me thnks ML

lisen to thhis and think about it https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rKFx0MMqb48

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FactsAreUseless

Mark Lloyd facts:

1. Mark Lloyd owns a Chevy Silverado Duramax. It is silver. It has 4x4 mag(?) wheeles[sic], a bed liner, and an automatic transmission.
2. Mark Lloyd has Kid Rock license plates. It is unclear if these are plate frames, or vanity plates.
3. Mark Lloyd should be in Hollywood.
4. Mark Lloyd should be super rich.
5. Mark Lloyd should be with a "childish softcore escort."
6. Mark Lloyd has been playing with magnets.
7. Mark Lloyd is trying to change the world as we know it.
8. Mark Lloyd wants to attract someone like me, and I'm er kinky.
9. This makes Mark Lloyd feel horny as hell.
10. This makes Mark Lloyd laugh out loud.
11. Mark Lloyd does not have good handwriting.
12. Because Mark Lloyd does not have good handwriting, he compensates with Kid Rock license plates to get attention.
13. A few years ago, Mark Lloyd was in junior high.
14. Mark Lloyd thought about becoming a veterinarian.
15. Mark Lloyd thought about becoming a horse doctor.
16. Mark Lloyd got sidetracked.
17. Mark Lloyd is well on his way to becoming a sex servant for me.

FactsAreUseless

"Dammit!" screamed Mark Lloyd, pounding his fists on his science desk. "I've been playing with these magnets for months, and nothing has changed! The world is still the same!" Mark Lloyd ran his fingers through his luxurious golden hair and sighed.

"Kid Rock... talk to me. Tell me what I need to hear." Mark Lloyd looked at his Kid Rock portrait, nearly 9 feet tall.

"I should be super rich. I should be in Hollywood. Kid Rock! Where have I gone wrong?!" Mark Lloyd threw his magnets to the floor, and the sound echoed through the empty room. All he had ever wanted was to be a veterinarian. But that dream was dashed. He'd become sidetracked. Now he had to settle for second-best. Changing the world forever with magnets.

"I just want to be with someone kinky. That makes me feel horny as hell. That makes me laugh out loud! I am well on my way to becoming a sex servant for them... but drat these infernal magnets!"

Mark Lloyd stared at nothing. He imagined driving down the highway in his Silverado, blasting Kid Rock. Closing his eyes, he put his earbuds in. "Sheryl... Kid... take me home."

FactsAreUseless

alnilam posted:

also here is an actual spam email i received:

Dear [my first name], Take regular walks -- after dinner with the family, a walk instead of a drive or take the dog for a stroll., Thank You.

there was no link, no attachment, nothing at all, and hell, it's good advice!
I've been playing with regular walks, trying to change the world as I know it. I'm well on my way to becoming a dog walker for you.

FactsAreUseless

Macnult posted:

the Mark lloyd accion figure comes quippd with silver silverado duromax 4x4 mag wheeles bed liner automatick transmittion with kidrock licence plates
[small child playing with action figure on camera, imitating his signature catchphrase] That makes me horny as hell!

And don't miss these other exciting accessories, like Mark Lloyd's Play And Learn With Magnets, the Childish Softcore Escort, and Sheryl Crow!

FactsAreUseless

Barking Gecko posted:

Leavin' Las Vegas in a Silverado 4x4 with mag wheels.
I should be in Hollywood with a childish softcore escort. I should teach her how to run baby, run baby, run baby, run.

FactsAreUseless

Jolo posted:

Mark Lloyd pulls his Silver Chevy Silverado Duramax into the parking lot of the horse doctor school. "This is your time Mark, it's time to become the kind of man that Kid would respect." He walks into the front door of the school and sees a white-board on the wall for new student sign ups. "This marker... How does it stay on the board? It's stuck to the wall as if by magic. Am I dreaming?" He frantically looks around for someone to share this discovery with. "Ma'am! Do you see this?!" He removes the marker from the board and feels it snap back to the board again and again. "How can this be? What forces are at work here?" The receptionist looks at Mark with a confused look. "There's a magnet on that marker that makes it stick to the board", she says. Mark can barely process this statement. To be honest, it makes him horny as hell. He nearly laughs out loud before exclaiming, "A magnut? This could change the world!" Mark runs out the front door of the school clutching the marker tightly. Dreams of fame, riches, and childish softcore escorts fill his mind. He will never again return to the horse doctor school.

FactsAreUseless

Jolo posted:

I can't stop laughing at this post. This thing made my day FAU. Thanks for sharing.
It also made me happy. I hope it makes the front page, to the confusion of many.

FactsAreUseless

Jolo posted:

I couldn't find a good way to incorporate the Chevy Silverado into the av, but am happy with how it turned out
loving lmao

FactsAreUseless

Adiabatic posted:

You should send mark lloyd to automotive insanity... we could learn a thing or two about modding trucks from him.
Done. Mark Lloyd is well on his way to becoming a sex slave for you.

FactsAreUseless

Classic Kid Rock hit

FactsAreUseless

I once received a spam email with the subject line "You will be the legend of the ten-inch manhood."

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

FactsAreUseless

joke_explainer posted:

Very funny FAU. A long while ago I got a bunch of spam that seemed to lack any payload for an URL or anything, and just consisted of random blocks of texts from random people with random subjects. I preserved a bunch of it as a strange example of a pointless markov chain bot writing mysterious love letters to its ten million most beloved people. Here's a few.

Rec'vd from: Dr. Hogland Chowning
Subject: streetwalker resurrection

Elinor had not seen much of roddy in the week in lawrence,
and in the refusal of exgovernor perhaps you'll escape that.
you haven't any heart, whenever the battle might come. Relocated
footnote: long seclusion from direct light and air, faded
no use even so much as thinkin' of it, so i gave know the
truth as to the virtues of his wife, field and the air and
the light are very free especially in lady florimel's presence,
would yes. As a matter of fact we all are, more or less!
and was in the course of administering rebuffs in that quarter.
they were on the second floor.

Rec'vd from Herbel Bashara:
Subject: summerise horsemint

It up. Ethel sitting. Your note seemed so extraordinarily
they're killed and you eat them christmas. They date of
the president's message she had already under any circumstances.
that king who slays art in kine and other cattle and in
the produce of the fruits of his actions, thus transmigrates
of the crescent to which sir modava had alluded, their sacrificial
vessels together with their they reached the city and began
their quest. Mahomet him who has stolen thy stalks be a
king destitute gold in maturer yearsand the blue or grey
eyes bearing the church of pontdel'arche, though greatly.

Rec'vd from Father Profeta
Subject: raiser celebrities
To the finding of the blowpipe behind the cushion up, and
then down go pulpits, genevagowns, and it away from him,
aware only that it was the memory she hinted of her new
enthusiasm. To find one as a matter of fact, he found himself
becoming better nor one o' them valets, as is neither a
alaskan life amidst continual danger made in such landed,
and built some huts to last us a few days,.

Rec'vd from Galmberti Rudd
Subject: :o)

Been rivals in several business deals — and on one of the
commissioners returning again to lincoln's to handle them
roughly. There was much talk about used to accompany my
armed nobles, and wish to a real proper investigation, does
she? I think me if i'd give him a lift in my car and i said
to grey, and actually left his fifth glass only, suggestions,
had given her a queer, eerie sensation a world of heartbreak
it is. The doctors said of the brazilian government was
extremely praiseworthy she was secretly thankful not to
have to remain an' i've a cake on the griddle just about
fit. Distributing a project gutenbergtm electronic mr. Clancy
took the stand. Mr. Clancy was news up their hymn books
and organ, their faces only.

Recvd From: Carpentier Rumblier
Subject: casablanca herodine

Said poirot. Yes, yes, general ravenscroft agreed of occasionally
differing from an apocryphal writer. She said something
about having to go on to the purity and extraordinary brilliancy
agates, moonstones, the magicians scorn was stirred, and
lo, i have the same words: catholics! Catholics! Ah! I begin
sand on the northwest side. In this basin was say, said
poirot. I'm not a woman. A woman whom.
Catholics! Catholics! Catholics! Ack!

  • Locked thread