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Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP!
BIIITCH!




Bangfucker 69 posted:

Never had Culvers before, its about the same distance I'd have to drive to get Swensons, whats the best thing to order?

Double butter burger with cheese with the works, curds, root beer or a shake

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BlankSystemDaemon
Mar 13, 2009

System Access Node Not Found



Casu Marzu posted:

Double butter burger with cheese with the works, curds, root beer or a shake
Holy gently caress that sounds delicious!

Gamerofthegame
Oct 27, 2010

Could at least flip one or two, maybe.


I'd go to bat with onion rings over curds, but yea

fizzymercury
Aug 18, 2011


Gamerofthegame posted:

I'd go to bat with onion rings over curds, but yea

Well that's crazy talk.

e: Get both

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP!
BIIITCH!




fizzymercury posted:

Well that's crazy talk.

e: Get both

Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005

SUCK LASER, COPPERS

WHY BE A FATCAT WHEN YOU CAN BE A SMOKERAT?

COOL ZONE HERO, ASK ME ABOUT MY LIVESTREAMS




if you've never had curds, get curds

if you like onion rings over curds, get bent

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010



Best job I ever had was selling Christmas trees in a lot next to a Culver’s. I didn’t really make money from tips until I had enough to cover a Butter Burger meal. The sheer caloric intake from that job would kill me now.

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon


Nap Ghost



The Blue Bessie. Bleu cheese, mushrooms, spinach, horseradish sauce, fried onion straws burg and tater tots with neutella milkshake and shot of whiskey

Gatts fucked around with this message at 21:05 on Mar 6, 2021

A Sometimes Food
Dec 8, 2010

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING



Democratic Pirate posted:

Best job I ever had was selling Christmas trees in a lot next to a Culver’s. I didn’t really make money from tips until I had enough to cover a Butter Burger meal. The sheer caloric intake from that job would kill me now.

I feel like having an outside job in the winter somewhere that has a Culver's would burn enough calories just keeping warm to offset it.

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010



A Sometimes Food posted:

I feel like having an outside job in the winter somewhere that has a Culver's would burn enough calories just keeping warm to offset it.

Not in Texas. sweatshirt and a beanie on the worst days (pre-icepocalypse of this year)

A Sometimes Food
Dec 8, 2010

I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING



Democratic Pirate posted:

Not in Texas. sweatshirt and a beanie on the worst days (pre-icepocalypse of this year)

Fair enough, down here in Aus my impression was that Culver's was basically contained within Fargoland.

MrYenko
Jun 17, 2012

#2 isn't ALWAYS bad...


A Sometimes Food posted:

Fair enough, down here in Aus my impression was that Culver's was basically contained within Fargoland.

We just got one or two down in south Florida, which is basically Cairns, climate wise.

Crunchy Black
Oct 24, 2017

CASTOR: Uh, it was all fine and you don't remember?
VINDMAN: No, it was bad and I do remember.




The Midniter posted:



Classic burg.

Oh yea, that's the stuff.

Hutla
Jun 5, 2004

It's mechanical

In the last 10-ish years, Culver’s has realized that there’s an untapped market of retirees and former Midwesterners in the sun belt, so you’ll find them in Fl, GA, etc but only in the suburbs. When my parents got one a half hour away in GA, you would have thought aliens landed for how often they called to tell me that they had gotten or were about to get Culver’s.

Halloween Liker
Oct 31, 2020



The Midniter posted:



Classic burg.

I'm sure thats just a long pickle viewed sideways, but I kinda hope its actually a massive slice as large and round as the bun

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

Thank you burger thread for the tip of presmashing patties. I'd been trying my best with a large metal spatula, and it worked, but it didn't work. At least not as well as this did. The next step in my burger journey is to decide on the One True Order for topping placement. Kenji makes a great case in his 'better big mac' article for lettuce and pickles on the bottom bun, but I wondered if there was any consensus here.

Casu Marzu
Oct 20, 2008

SHUT
THE
FUCK
UP!
BIIITCH!




I prefer bottomings. Bottom bun, whatev sauce you're using be it ketchup, mustard, mayo, burg sauce, whatev, then onion and pickle, shredded lettuce, slice of tomato, two patties with cheese, top bun.

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

My current theory, which will be tested in round two of burgs in like an hour is bun/mayo/lettuce/burg/cheese/burg/onion/pickle/mustard-ketchup/bun. That way in order of what hits your tongue you get the the rich mayo, you get the bulwark of lettuce protecting the bun, meaty cheesy happiness, then sharp pickle and onion with a touch of sweet and mustard from the condiments. That might be a bit too top heavy though on the sharper flavors.

I always want to and do put tomato on but I'm growing suspicious that its not worth the extra liquid. Maybe slice, lightly salt and drain in a colander while I do everything else.

bottoming is definitely good and what I usually do (because I like to have everything ready to go so it just goes burger out of pan right onto the prepped bun and eat), but I think its too much to get through before burger happens.

Guildenstern Mother fucked around with this message at 01:30 on Mar 11, 2021

tangy yet delightful
Sep 13, 2005





Guildenstern Mother posted:

My current theory, which will be tested in round two of burgs in like an hour is bun/mayo/lettuce/burg/cheese/burg/onion/pickle/mustard-ketchup/bun. That way in order of what hits your tongue you get the the rich mayo, you get the bulwark of lettuce protecting the bun, meaty cheesy happiness, then sharp pickle and onion with a touch of sweet and mustard from the condiments. That might be a bit too top heavy though on the sharper flavors.

I always want to and do put tomato on but I'm growing suspicious that its not worth the extra liquid. Maybe slice, lightly salt and drain in a colander while I do everything else.

bottoming is definitely good and what I usually do (because I like to have everything ready to go so it just goes burger out of pan right onto the prepped bun and eat), but I think its too much to get through before burger happens.
To slightly modify your list, this is how I roll with a double stack (mostly, some times toppings get changed up):

bun/mayo/[shredded]lettuce/burg/cheese/burg/[cheese]/onion/pickle/mustard-ketchup[or mayo]/bun

I don't like raw tomato slices because of seed texture so I've never messed with that. All of my patties get cheese. Sometimes I do mustard but more often I don't on burgers. For smash patties I also tend to throw them from the griddle surface onto a wire rack for ~10 seconds to get just a bit of the fat off for a cleaner eating experience which tends to be preferred for my family. Nothing wrong with a full fat grease dripping everywhere face stuffing experience though.

Oh and for my buns since I am bougie I sometimes toast them on the bagel setting in the toaster so I don't have to juggle toasting them in a pan.

syntaxfunction
Oct 27, 2010


I burged yesterday. Went out with a friend and we got Ze Pickle in Brisbane. I hadn't been in ages and got Ze Chips and a 3AM. I forgot how dense those burgs are. My shamed confession is I only managed 3/4 of my burg. Forgive me burg thread!

Also if you have a Ze Pickle in your city go there it rules.

Guildenstern Mother
Mar 31, 2010

Why walk when you can ride?

tangy yet delightful posted:

For smash patties I also tend to throw them from the griddle surface onto a wire rack for ~10 seconds to get just a bit of the fat off for a cleaner eating experience which tends to be preferred for my family. Nothing wrong with a full fat grease dripping everywhere face stuffing experience though.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.





Beautiful summery day so I grilled up burgers.

Eat This Glob
Jan 14, 2008

God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. Who will wipe this blood off us? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent?

Lipstick Apathy

been missing the midwest this weekend and the Culver's talk ain't helping, dammit

BlankSystemDaemon
Mar 13, 2009

System Access Node Not Found



From another thread:

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007


i want to say that all burgers are beautiful, but that really isn't.

toplitzin
Jun 13, 2003


George does the not burger today.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8rdDvcOe9NA

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon


Nap Ghost

BlankSystemDaemon posted:

From another thread:

I’m going to guess that’s like a poutine burger with fried cheese curds.

I’m not a big fan of dumping something like gravy or cheese all on top of the burger and drenching it. I suppose if you wanna eat with a knife and fork. Now I say this and yet I will say I like the concept of taking a burg and with your hand dipping it in Au Jus but that still means the burger bun was dry for holding by hand.

BlankSystemDaemon
Mar 13, 2009

System Access Node Not Found



Gatts posted:

I’m going to guess that’s like a poutine burger with fried cheese curds.

I’m not a big fan of dumping something like gravy or cheese all on top of the burger and drenching it. I suppose if you wanna eat with a knife and fork. Now I say this and yet I will say I like the concept of taking a burg and with your hand dipping it in Au Jus but that still means the burger bun was dry for holding by hand.
Then you're not going to like bøfsandwich.
It's a burger with bottom bun, pickled beets, beef patty, pickled cucumber slices, remulade, top bun, gravy with caramel colouring, onions, and fried onions:


Which is a pity, because it's hands down one of the best ways to have something burger-shaped.

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010



BlankSystemDaemon posted:

Then you're not going to like bøfsandwich.
It's a burger with bottom bun, pickled beets, beef patty, pickled cucumber slices, remulade, top bun, gravy with caramel colouring, onions, and fried onions:


Which is a pity, because it's hands down one of the best ways to have something burger-shaped.

Seconding that I can’t see the appeal in something like this. Maybe if you swap the buns for some bread on the side for dipping.

Then again I inhale burgers because I hate when they lose structural integrity when put down between bites.

Big Willy Style
Feb 11, 2007

How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?


BlankSystemDaemon posted:

Then you're not going to like bøfsandwich.
It's a burger with bottom bun, pickled beets, beef patty, pickled cucumber slices, remulade, top bun, gravy with caramel colouring, onions, and fried onions:


Which is a pity, because it's hands down one of the best ways to have something burger-shaped.

this is perfect. gently caress I want that.

Leal
Oct 2, 2009

If you LP what I LP
And if you work retail like I work retail
You would also scream like I scream


I'd eat the hell out of that


WITH my hands

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008



BlankSystemDaemon posted:

Then you're not going to like bøfsandwich.
It's a burger with bottom bun, pickled beets, beef patty, pickled cucumber slices, remulade, top bun, gravy with caramel colouring, onions, and fried onions:


Which is a pity, because it's hands down one of the best ways to have something burger-shaped.

Doesn't the bottom bun get all soggy? I can't stand soggy buns, they make me mad, I don't care how delicious the gravy is.

field balm
Feb 5, 2012



Oh no my hands have gravy on them says man whose face is currently covered in burger accoutrements

charliebravo77
Jun 11, 2003



rip ur arteries smashed pimento cheeseburg





angerbeet
Mar 23, 2004


Come into the lob-ratory! The dog lobster laboratory!


Hot hamburger sandwiches (hamburgers on toast with gravy poured over the whole shebang) are a big thing in Quebec and we don't know how to stop them.

Democratic Pirate
Feb 17, 2010



field balm posted:

Oh no my hands have gravy on them says man whose face is currently covered in burger accoutrements

At a certain point it’s not “oh no my hands have gravy on them,” it’s “oh no the buns all soggy and lost structural integrity and my burger is falling out all over the place.”

Put the gravy on the fries and stuff this into my face hole instead:

charliebravo77 posted:

rip ur arteries smashed pimento cheeseburg




gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007


at some degree of bun liquefication it stops being a burger and becomes some sort of avant garde soup.

angerbeet
Mar 23, 2004


Come into the lob-ratory! The dog lobster laboratory!


Democratic Pirate posted:

At a certain point it’s not “oh no my hands have gravy on them,” it’s “oh no the buns all soggy and lost structural integrity and my burger is falling out all over the place.”

Just use a Burger Herder instead

angerbeet fucked around with this message at 02:54 on Mar 16, 2021

BraveUlysses
Aug 7, 2002



fff...fuckin

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Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

Come play my CYOA!

Save your reality from the Constructors... then save all the rest of them.



angerbeet posted:

Just use a Burger Herder instead



Can I get these personalized with my burgin' motto?

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