Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Have you tried masturbating while watching TV? It'll change your life.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

My Linux Rig
Mar 27, 2010
Probation
Can't post for 6 years!

Who What Now posted:

Have you tried masturbating while watching TV? It'll change your life.

Try it while high off your rear end too, will not disappoint

Video Nasty
Jun 17, 2003

COMRADES posted:

What is a man?

A miserable pile of semen.

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

COMRADES posted:

So, they're opening a porn shop and the gimmick is there will be a livestream camera so everyone in the world can see you in a NY porn shop?

This is my question. I don't like PornHub because they own way too much. But they are based in Canada, and I don't know about monopoly laws there. Not like they apply in the US either, but still.

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

Nothing like watching a man who looks like Larry David watching with incredulity as a Brooklyn hipster jerks off on a couch to curb your enthusiasm

That man would turn out to be larry david

Noblesse Obliged
Apr 7, 2012

I.C. posted:

This is my question. I don't like PornHub because they own way too much. But they are based in Canada, and I don't know about monopoly laws there. Not like they apply in the US either, but still.

I can't wait to see someone approach a quebec judge to make an argument that one organization owns too much cream pies and they would rule that they have to change their name to Coop Hub

KakerMix
Apr 8, 2004

8.2 M.P.G.
:byetankie:

Liquid Drink posted:

Porn contributes to men becoming NuMales and discourages getting married and actually having sex. You need to own up to your addictions and realize when you jack off you are losing testosterone and avoiding actually having to become a man. It’s pathetic.

lmao at your AV, who did you piss off and were they masturbating at the time?

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

false flag post-op posted:

Or you could just jerk it and then go about your day instead of obsessing about it.

i'm really glad someone was here to set the OP correct. really glad someone had to jump in here and remind us all joke'sters that the power in our hands is to not jerk off, and it's in our hands.

alpaca diseases
May 19, 2009

Speleothing posted:

Same, except I'll be a dumpy white dude making out with an average chick

:mrgw:

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica
why can't we all be like that wise old bird?

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
i challenge anyone itt to masturbate to completion using only a picture of themselves or a mirror for stimulation. no cheating by thinking about other things.

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
Cool how some permabanned users are allowed to post using their alts but not others

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon

Ocean Book posted:

i challenge anyone itt to masturbate to completion using only a picture of themselves or a mirror for stimulation. no cheating by thinking about other things.

Um this is GBS. We are all attractive and most importantly gay.

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
make it happen

Lauroon Kyanka
Sep 17, 2017

*trips on a ladybug*

*dies of old age*
i'm gonna rent the room for eight hours. show up in my pajamas. and do nothing but sleep. enjoy streaming that!

I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

Ocean Book posted:

make it happen

You mean I have to look at myself? That is unsettling. I can cum without visual stimuli, thank you very much.

Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010

by Pragmatica

Colonel Cancer posted:

Um this is GBS. We are all attractive and most importantly GAY.

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
someone suggested the idea a while ago in a gbs thread and im curious if someone can do it. im not going to btw

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood

Ocean Book posted:

i challenge anyone itt to masturbate to completion using only a picture of themselves or a mirror for stimulation. no cheating by thinking about other things.

i tried but then i got so upset at the sight of that gorgeous man drowning that i didn't even notice my hot-rear end elf wife screaming her head off at me, furious that i would interrupt her dinner party so

Ocean Book
Sep 27, 2010

:yum: - hi
i applaud the attempt

Buccaneer
Jun 24, 2017

by FactsAreUseless

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Cool how some permabanned users are allowed to post using their alts but not others

You just dont get the forums admin style of humor

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

OXBALLS DOT COM posted:

Cool how some permabanned users are allowed to post using their alts but not others

Sorry your friends are such poo poo they got for-real perma'd.

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

immortal anime posted:

The plan is to get on the livecam and instead of having sex we are going to be delivering anti-pornography statistics I have been researching. You are welcome to bring your own information,

Wrinkle in your plan: It's pornhub. People will be jacking off to you.

immortal anime
Oct 21, 2017

by Lowtax
This is only the beginning. Once we terrorize the stream with cold hard facts we are moving on to phase 2. The idea came to me and a handful of other NYC goons who took the time out of their day to come meet me outside of the PornHub shop. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with Nathan Fielder's Dumb Starbucks which took advantage of patent laws allowing him to create an exact replica of Starbucks Coffee as long as he had the word "dumb" in front of all of the logos and menu items etc. https://i.imgur.com/7PHm23K.jpg

Well, we're going to make Dumb Pornhub (working title.)

I'm going to be setting up a patreon soon. If you cancel your current porn website subscriptions and use that money instead for a good cause then we should be able to come up with enough money to rent a place in Soho NYC before the new year. I realize this is no small goal, but I believe this to be bigger than me. I'll keep you updated as progress ensues.

immortal anime
Oct 21, 2017

by Lowtax
And if you're in Manhattan come out to The Juice Press for celebratory Mango smoothies for a job well done today- - My treat :)

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

Blazing Ownager posted:

Wrinkle in your plan: It's pornhub. People will be jacking off to you.

I know I will be

Orange Cat
Feb 26, 2013

immortal anime posted:

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2017/11/23/pornhub-to-open-erotic-nyc-shop-with-live-streaming-bed-videocam.html


I'm trying to organize others NoFap goons who are willing to take a stand against the sex industry to go with me and the fapstronaut army to take over the live sex cam on the bed. I will pay for anyone's Uber who makes it out to NYC to fight the good fight. The plan is to get on the livecam and instead of having sex we are going to be delivering anti-pornography statistics I have been researching. You are welcome to bring your own information, however, I have already printed out 300 flash cards thanks to vistaprint.com. I'm already in NYC and I will be going to the store every day if possible. It is open until mid-december, so come on out.

Lularoe.

I’ll come gently caress your on camera.

Popup nut.

PHIZ KALIFA
Dec 21, 2011

#mood
im going to go to this camera and read statistics about animal extinction. i will find sad facts about penguins, fact so sad not even the Nolans of the internet will get their awful goof off on my dime ! ! !

general anime wife
Sep 7, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
Maybe if you pathetic losers could get your sticky tiny boy hands off your teeny weenies you would have the chance to have sex with real women :shrug:

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth

general anime wife posted:

Maybe if you pathetic losers could get your sticky tiny boy hands off your teeny weenies you would have the chance to have sex with real women :shrug:

Jerking off while loving an actual woman rules

Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
You gotta have a real big penis to do it though

general anime wife
Sep 7, 2017

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Who What Now posted:

You gotta have a real big penis to do it though

Wouldn't be possible for you then, bud

Ruggan
Feb 20, 2007
WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!


I got tired of having to reach for my dingaling so I superglued my right hand to it... easy access!

Healthy Nut Snack
Mar 23, 2016

Ocean Book posted:

someone suggested the idea a while ago in a gbs thread and im curious if someone can do it. im not going to btw

Buddy I do that least once a week, catch me on a Wednesday and your dream can become reality.

Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

by sebmojo
I'm gonna loving jack the hell out of dick now that I know the OP hates it

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
what’s up general anime

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
i had emergency dental surgery and got a loving giant botrtle of tramadol becuase it kind of went wrong and id be in more pain than usual (72 tramadols lol)

but ill say this, ever since then, i havent wanked it even once. I feel like when I finally do im gonna drown somebody. i need to find a gf really quick

Conch Shell Corp
Feb 24, 2009

who the gently caress is proud of what they jack off to enough to go to a store and purchase merchandise about it. The key loving component of jacking off is shame, what the gently caress is wrong with these retards.

unpleasantly turgid
Jul 6, 2016

u lightweights couldn't even feed my shadow ;*
Would I be scorned if I just used the bed to do a puzzle in? Maybe eat some mac n cheese while doing homework? Are these permitted uses of the bed space?

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

juggalo baby coffin
Dec 2, 2007

How would the dog wear goggles and even more than that, who makes the goggles?


one time i did nofap for six weeks and although i developed laser vision i had a problem where when i cut myself shaving cum would spray out of the wound and make a mess of my bathroom mirror

  • Locked thread