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immortal anime posted:Let me ask you - what is the longest you've ever gone without masturbating? You are a slave to your addiction. The paradox of doing what thou wilt , but having no free will because you are chained to your primal desires will leave you feeling empty. Try, for me, to go 3 days without jacking off. I'm here for support. It will change your life. Do not, my friends, become addicted to masturbation. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence!
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Nov 25, 2017 08:46
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This "sex shop sex bed" is just goimg to be guy after guy pulling his ugly dick until it makes a sad dribble. Just like those amateur porn sites where they're stupid enough to let anyone submit their own video. Anyone holding up a sign on the bed, expect it, and you, to get splattered
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Nov 25, 2017 08:54
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That is going to be a really gross bed in a couple days.
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Nov 25, 2017 10:28
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it’ll be like a gallagher show
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Nov 25, 2017 11:34
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I'm the guy with the task of changing the sheets of the public sex bed soaked with cum of one hundred fat weirdos
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Nov 25, 2017 12:26
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I'm going to hold a mirror up in front of the camera so everyone at home has to take a good look at themselves
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Nov 25, 2017 12:33
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Then cum on the mirror
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Nov 25, 2017 12:34
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The bed thing probably isn't intended to actually produce amateur porn, rather the purpose is its sensational nature and the fact that people will be compelled to discuss how it will or won't work as intended. Pornhub has had great success with advertising via newsjacking (lol), probably more so than any other company in existence (except maybe red bull). It's been especially good for them considering they work in an industry that is otherwise prevented from advertising to mainstream audiences. In this case their marketing people managed to get both Fox News and Buzz Feed to circulate their press release, for free, and as content you will actually absorb even to the point of sharing and discussing rather than just having it in a side bar.
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Nov 25, 2017 13:58
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There's a whole fetish out tehre where people enjoy porking in public so if the bed is in any way available for rando's to gently caress on infront of a camera that'll broadcast it to thousands - it'll happen
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Nov 25, 2017 14:03
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Gonna lol when some antifa or whatever runs in with a can of paint and goes Splatoon on the camera, bed and the gross guy having a wank in it
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Nov 25, 2017 14:12
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unpleasantly turgid posted:Would I be scorned if I just used the bed to do a puzzle in? Maybe eat some mac n cheese while doing homework? Are these permitted uses of the bed space? extra points if you bring a girl with you, have a very restful nap together.
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Nov 25, 2017 14:28
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Conch Shell Corp posted:who the gently caress is proud of what they jack off to enough to go to a store and purchase merchandise about it. The key loving component of jacking off is shame, what the gently caress is wrong with these retards. Shame died when the internet was born.
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Nov 25, 2017 15:12
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Conch Shell Corp posted:who the gently caress is proud of what they jack off to enough to go to a store and purchase merchandise about it. The key loving component of jacking off is shame, what the gently caress is wrong with these retards. Middle aged dad: "Xvideos!!!? Son, this is a Pornhub house!"
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Nov 25, 2017 15:20
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On January 6th, 2018, I will have been an employee of Mindgeek (out of Montreal) for 4 years. We are the company who owns and operates Pornhub (among a shitton of other adult websites). This is probably the 27th time something like this has come up and we (the employees) knew nothing about it. Awesome, good stuff there. Ugh.
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Nov 25, 2017 15:39
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Grevling posted:Middle aged dad: "Xvideos!!!? Son, this is a Pornhub house!" "The only video on xvideo you'll watch is duck.gif and you'll like it!"
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Nov 25, 2017 15:41
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:On January 6th, 2018, I will have been an employee of Mindgeek (out of Montreal) for 4 years. We are the company who owns and operates Pornhub (among a shitton of other adult websites). How do you live with yourself knowing you're responsible for increasing the degradation of meaningful sex, causing children to become perverts, and increasing the rates of rape? Is it worth it for 30 grand a year?
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Nov 25, 2017 15:44
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immortal anime posted:How do you live with yourself knowing you're responsible for increasing the degradation of meaningful sex, causing children to become perverts, and increasing the rates of rape? Is it worth it for 30 grand a year? I'm fine. How's everyone else doing? Before anyone asks, I'm likely going to do an Ask/Tell in a couple months.
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Nov 25, 2017 15:50
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I misread and thought Pornhub was going to open an erotic NPC shop very disappointed
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Nov 25, 2017 16:19
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Sit down on the bed and stare into the camera with a knowing look. Keep nodding and pointing at the bed and saying "I know what THIS is for!" and winking and/or wiggling your eyebrows. Really mouth the words in case there is no sound from the camera.Excelzior posted:I misread and thought Pornhub was going to open an erotic NPC shop Hello BUTT, do you know about SEX BED? > Tell me more about SEX BED > Let me see what SEX TOYS you have for sale > (Take mission to collect 15 ORC COCKS) > Goodbye
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Nov 25, 2017 18:06
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:On January 6th, 2018, I will have been an employee of Mindgeek (out of Montreal) for 4 years. We are the company who owns and operates Pornhub (among a shitton of other adult websites). What is wrong with you.
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Nov 25, 2017 18:30
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cda posted:What is wrong with you. Nothing. I work for the paid sites and deal with preparing our media for various broadcasters all over the world. I used to look over the photo gallery uploads for Pornhub and myyyyyyy god are there some broken people out there.
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Nov 25, 2017 18:39
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immortal anime posted:This is only the beginning. Once we terrorize the stream with cold hard facts we are moving on to phase 2. The idea came to me and a handful of other NYC goons who took the time out of their day to come meet me outside of the PornHub shop. I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with Nathan Fielder's Dumb Starbucks which took advantage of patent laws allowing him to create an exact replica of Starbucks Coffee as long as he had the word "dumb" in front of all of the logos and menu items etc. https://i.imgur.com/7PHm23K.jpg I'm unclear on the concept here. Dumb Starbucks was just a coffee shop that took the Starbucks concept and put "dumb" in front of it. Is Dumb PornHub going to be a porn store, because that would defeat the concept. Also, watching pornography is already dumb, so maybe it should be Smart PornHub instead, so people would know that they were smart for going into it instead of the regular PornHub store. Or Dumber PornHub so people would know PornHub is dumb. Just spitballing here. I wish I were closer to NYC but I'm glad to hear that this idea is gaining traction.
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Nov 25, 2017 18:40
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Nothing. I work for the paid sites and deal with preparing our media for various broadcasters all over the world. That's awesome. I bet your mom is so proud of you figuring out how to make marketing brain rotting fake love marriage breaking life ruining smut easy to as many children as possible on their smartphone app games and innocent youtube videos. Bravo!
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Nov 25, 2017 19:07
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cda posted:I'm unclear on the concept here. Dumb Starbucks was just a coffee shop that took the Starbucks concept and put "dumb" in front of it. Is Dumb PornHub going to be a porn store, because that would defeat the concept. Also, watching pornography is already dumb, so maybe it should be Smart PornHub instead, so people would know that they were smart for going into it instead of the regular PornHub store. Or Dumber PornHub so people would know PornHub is dumb. Just spitballing here. I wish I were closer to NYC but I'm glad to hear that this idea is gaining traction. Right. It is meant to look like your average erotic NYC Pornhub shop with live-streaming bed videocam capabilities inside, but when these patrons walk inside they're going to be in for a surprise. 1. No sex toys will be sold in the store. Instead they will be by the good, regular kind of toy. If you complete 6 weeks of NoFap Rehab (I know I said I had a LOT of ideas!!!! Working on this too. It's an institute but also a monastery where you learn how to control your-you know what that's a whole OTHER thread let's just move on for now) you will have enough tickets to purchase these toys. Tickets will be earned by completing different quests and winning games at the institution. More to come. 2. All videos will be replaced with cleverly nicknamed sex educational videos. You know how they have the movies like Shaving Ryan's Privates? What about Keeping Ryan Righteous, or The Lord of the Wedding Bands. 3. There will be a bed alright, and a live stream as well, and a girl's vagina on there - -giving birth. Welcome to the realities of sex.
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Nov 25, 2017 19:21
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Maybe his mom was a pornstar
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Nov 25, 2017 19:24
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immortal anime posted:
I had the same idea, but in reverse.
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Nov 25, 2017 19:26
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Can't wait to have a bunch of hung bulls run a train on my wife.
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Nov 25, 2017 19:36
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Nice troll, OP. I refuse to believe that a goon who actively posts on these forums is against porn, and isn't jacking it at least a few times a week. 
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Nov 25, 2017 19:37
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:Nice troll, OP. I refuse to believe that a goon who actively posts on these forums is against porn, and isn't jacking it at least a few times a week. You only hate me because you hate yourself.
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Nov 25, 2017 19:39
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Rupert Buttermilk posted:I used to look over the photo gallery uploads for Pornhub and myyyyyyy god are there some broken people out there. Why didn't you ever respond to my pics? Are you just racist against gingers or something?
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Nov 25, 2017 20:14
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immortal anime posted:That's awesome. I bet your mom is so proud of you figuring out how to make marketing brain rotting fake love marriage breaking life ruining smut easy to as many children as possible on their smartphone app games and innocent youtube videos. Bravo! My mom and dad thought it loving owned when I was an assistant manager of a porn shop. 
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Nov 25, 2017 20:17
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13Pandora13 posted:My mom and dad thought it loving owned when I was an assistant manager of a porn shop. The Hank Hill of porn stores.
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Nov 25, 2017 20:38
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13Pandora13 posted:My mom and dad thought it loving owned when I was an assistant manager of a porn shop. Assistant TO the manager.
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Nov 25, 2017 20:44
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Your parents sound lame though, sorry. Any decent parent would be ashamed of you for being the assistant manager of a porn shop.
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Nov 25, 2017 20:45
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I'm going to go and eat cookies and crackers on the bed really messily and not clean up.
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Nov 25, 2017 20:50
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Does it count as nofap if you keep edging but never cum? What if you keep doing it long enough that the friction from your pants feels like edging? The op is extremely low on crucial information like this
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Nov 25, 2017 20:56
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cda posted:Your parents sound lame though, sorry. Any decent parent would be ashamed of you for being the assistant manager of a porn shop. It was a college job that didn't interfere with my school schedule, paid decently, and made from some fun stories. Sorry my parents are more laid back than yours?
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Nov 25, 2017 20:57
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No fap is one of the wierder aspects of the alt right, i know the proud boys are supposed to get together to not jack off, i didnt know the idea that your semen is literally your life essence and you can beat it all out if yourself had come back in tyool 2017. Ppl have wierdly strong beliefs wrt masturbation i guess.
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Nov 25, 2017 20:57
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I'm gonna go there with a corn starch and water slurry in a dick shaped super soaker
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Nov 25, 2017 21:31
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immortal anime posted:That's awesome. I bet your mom is so proud of you figuring out how to make marketing brain rotting fake love marriage breaking life ruining smut easy to as many children as possible on their smartphone app games and innocent youtube videos. Bravo! How did the t-shirt sale go? Did you end up “donating” the money? 
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Nov 25, 2017 21:31
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