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Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009





How are u posted:

In all seriousness tho: playing with sa goons is super fun, everybody is very chill, and you will have so much more fun. I have 910 hours in Dominions 5 as of this post and probably 2 or 3 of them were spent playing single player just testing year 1 expansion. If you can do 1 ten minute turn every 25 hours, 1 30 minute turn every 36 hours, and 1 45 minute turn every 48 hours, you can successfully play 95% of goon games.

Try it you will enjoy!

You also get to play in whatever bullshit gimmick games some deranged moron (me) comes up with!

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Jon Joe
Oct 19, 2011


Grimey Drawer

i say train in the darkness for twenty years before unleashing your finely honed blade upon your foes' supple necks

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003



deep in year three, the expansion party of niefel giants emerges. you can boost this strat by taking an imprisoned pretender and using the extra points on your incarnate bless

How are u
May 19, 2005



Had a fun series of events just happen in a game, a great example of the type of Premium Content(TM) you can get if you play with dominions goons.

~Set the Scene~

It's turn 67. For some reason some ding-dong set the cataclysm to start on turn 70 in this cursed game. Everybody is scrambling for Thrones before poo poo Goes Down. Helheim, a large and powerful nation in this game, is being generally sneaky and fucky and sends a deep-strike force way outside of his borders to one of the few unconquered Thrones left in the game.

~Let's See What Happened~


Welcome to Sailor's Haven, an independent kingdom blessedly untouched by the Ascension Wars up until now. The coastal nation is ruled by some stupid witches and their Vine Ogre minions.


Unfortunately for them the perfidiously villianous nation of Helheim covets their Throne, and has sent a powerful minion to take it!


Fist-sized stones come hurtling out of the sky, an awesome enchantment!


The Vine Ogres fall like wheat before a scythe. Resistance is futile.


Crushing indies like a pro on turn 67.


BUT WAIT... somebody -else- decided to drop into Sailor's Haven in the Magic Phase.


By god that...that's...


That's Pelagia's music! A fully kitted Seraph, Wished into reality itself, has arrived to challenge the Colossus!


Oh, what a clash of titans!


The Colossus, being magical and strong and OP as gently caress, does a phenomenal job of chain-petrifying the Seraph.


The Seraph hangs in for -long- time. Multiple deaths and rebirths thanks to Phoenix Pyre, but it just can't hurt the Colossus and eventually fucks back off to the ~celestial sphere~

Well that was really crazy, congrats to Helheim on their ne


What?! This can't be! Agartha has moved into Sailor's Haven in the Movement Phase?!


A new challenger arrives: the Titan of the Forge, the Firstborn of Gaia, the Lord of Every Flame has arrived to claim the Throne for himself!


Mother-fucker! The Titan of the Forge isn't the only thing to move into Sailor's Haven in the Movement Phase. Now there's a small elf army to accompany the dang Colossus.


Elves do their elf thing.


Fast, undead dogs sprint across the battlefield to harry the Titan. The Pretender God of Agartha does, however, cast the mighty battlefield enchantment Firestorm.


Flames AND stones rain down upon the battlefield. The Colossus and Titan don't much care, but it takes a real toll on the elves.


AEAB. Run you fuckers.


With the elves gone it's just the two building-sized titans facing off. Titan of the Forge advances, but gets petrified by the Colossus!


He breaks free from petrification, and then somehow they both...petrify each other??


welp that's the end of it!

I spent way too long on this dumb thing.

Ynglaur
Oct 9, 2013



Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

deep in year three, the expansion party of niefel giants emerges. you can boost this strat by taking an imprisoned pretender and using the extra points on your incarnate bless

I used a version of this strategy to win my first game in Dom5!

Donkringel
Apr 22, 2008


Finally started reading Kill Six Billion Demons.

How long is it? I know it's been going on for 7 years, but that artwork is pretty meaty.

Edit: Nevermind! Figured out the chapter layout.

Yea, KSBD in Dominions in comic form.

Donkringel fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Jun 12, 2020

MF_James
May 8, 2008
I CANNOT HANDLE BEING CALLED OUT ON MY DUMBASS OPINIONS ABOUT ANTI-VIRUS AND SECURITY. I REALLY LIKE TO THINK THAT I KNOW THINGS HERE

INSTEAD I AM GOING TO WHINE ABOUT IT IN OTHER THREADS SO MY OPINION CAN FEEL VALIDATED IN AN ECHO CHAMBER I LIKE


Feel like getting back into this, rejoined the discord but I have zero clue how to use the new bot does !lobbies show games that are waiting for players to join?

violent sex idiot
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight


Pillbug

yes

gonadic io
Feb 16, 2011

>>=


MF_James posted:

Feel like getting back into this, rejoined the discord but I have zero clue how to use the new bot does !lobbies show games that are waiting for players to join?

There is a cool !help command, and also you can DM the bot commands no problem.

Ramc
May 4, 2008

"Losing? That's a bad strategy, son, plus it's gruesome. Winning is what I do, stick to that."




Just Hanging Out Getting Stoned

Kitfox88
Aug 20, 2007




Inexplicable Humblebrag posted:

deep in year three, the expansion party of niefel giants emerges. you can boost this strat by taking an imprisoned pretender and using the extra points on your incarnate bless

skip the bless and dump it into scales so you can make more giants

FilthIncarnate
Aug 13, 2007

Weird owl has life all figured out


Jack2142 posted:

Dont bribe purple, just kill them asap.

once purple betrayed their closest ally for ten air gems

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!


FilthIncarnate posted:

once purple betrayed their closest ally for ten air gems

I know, I'm ashamed, I shouldn't have been such a hard sell.

Dirk the Average
Feb 7, 2012

"This may have been a mistake."


Wait, how did the 999 damage happen at the end of that series of screenshots? Was it something to do with the battle taking too long?

Speleothing
May 6, 2008

Spare batteries are pretty key.

Fun Shoe

When a unit is petrified, it gets frozen for a certain number of combat rounds (with a big bonus to Protection because it's partially turned to stone). At the end of those rounds it makes a MR check to return to normal or be trapped as a statue forever.

Being trapped as a statue forever kills the unit with 999 damage.

Of course, statues and gargoyles were stone already in the first place and are immune to both halves of the spell.

Ramc
May 4, 2008

"Losing? That's a bad strategy, son, plus it's gruesome. Winning is what I do, stick to that."



Speleothing posted:

When a unit is petrified, it gets frozen for a certain number of combat rounds (with a big bonus to Protection because it's partially turned to stone). At the end of those rounds it makes a MR check to return to normal or be trapped as a statue forever.

Being trapped as a statue forever kills the unit with 999 damage.

Of course, statues and gargoyles were stone already in the first place and are immune to both halves of the spell.

Stone statues, though.

Not bronze or clay or wood or earth or anything

that's *completely different*

Angry Lobster
May 16, 2011

Served with honor
and some clarified butter.


Speleothing posted:

When a unit is petrified, it gets frozen for a certain number of combat rounds (with a big bonus to Protection because it's partially turned to stone). At the end of those rounds it makes a MR check to return to normal or be trapped as a statue forever.

Being trapped as a statue forever kills the unit with 999 damage.

Of course, statues and gargoyles were stone already in the first place and are immune to both halves of the spell.

Is an instant kill or just a hit of 999 damage? Is the shapeshifting exploit still around?

violent sex idiot
Mar 24, 2007

O Muhammad, I seek your intercession with my Lord for the return of my eyesight


Pillbug

overkill damage spills over on shapeshifters now

Ramc
May 4, 2008

"Losing? That's a bad strategy, son, plus it's gruesome. Winning is what I do, stick to that."



Angry Lobster posted:

Is an instant kill or just a hit of 999 damage?

it is 999+drn damage so yeah. If you have over 1000hp somehow you could tank a soul slay.

Straight White Shark
May 16, 2009



Fun Shoe

Ramc posted:

it is 999+drn damage so yeah. If you have over 1000hp somehow you could tank a soul slay.

If you survive a soul slay do you still get stuck with the soul slain affliction that keeps immortals dead?

Ramc
May 4, 2008

"Losing? That's a bad strategy, son, plus it's gruesome. Winning is what I do, stick to that."



Straight White Shark posted:

If you survive a soul slay do you still get stuck with the soul slain affliction that keeps immortals dead?

No idea but going to go ahead and guess 'yes'

Libluini
May 18, 2012

Did I predict the future?


Grimey Drawer

Ramc posted:

No idea but going to go ahead and guess 'yes'

And if you're a demon or something naturally regenerating afflictions, the answer is "yes, but not for long"!

Hell, I once lost a demon because I didn't realize she could regenerate her lost head so I send good old stumpy on a suicide mission. When I saw her last battle and realized her head had reappeared I was quite mad!

builds character
Jan 16, 2008

Keep at it.

Libluini posted:

And if you're a demon or something naturally regenerating afflictions, the answer is "yes, but not for long"!

Hell, I once lost a demon because I didn't realize she could regenerate her lost head so I send good old stumpy on a suicide mission. When I saw her last battle and realized her head had reappeared I was quite mad!

That’s what you get for dabbling in blood.

Tuna-Fish
Sep 13, 2017


Technowolf posted:

You also get to play in whatever bullshit gimmick games some deranged moron (me) comes up with!

Speaking of bullshit gimmick games -- one late night people waiting to draft for a different bullshit gimmick game started thinking, and got the idea of a sealed pool nationgen draft game.

That is, you get 5 freshly generated nations, from which you draft a single nation using the basicdraft rules -- you pick the recruit-everywhere troops from one nation, recruit-everywhere mages from another, and everything else (including any cap-only commanders and troops, sites, spells, etc) from a third. (And those can all be the same nation if you are boring.)

If you feel like everything you've gotten is trash, you can choose to discard your pool, but you get one less nation on your reroll. Two of us have done this 3 times so far.

There are still two open slots if you feel like playing terribad nations. Lobby is #sealedpooldraftnationgen on discord.

builds character
Jan 16, 2008

Keep at it.

And the game is currently on sale. https://store.steampowered.com/app/...s_of_the_Faith/

I ride bikes all day
Sep 10, 2007


I shitposted in the same thread for 2 years and all I got was this red text av. Ask me about my autism!



College Slice

Yknow, just in case the forums go down in flames after all, I want to get this off my chest: I am still irrationally angry that Builds Character managed to beat The Demon in Lilli’s LP.

That is all.

builds character
Jan 16, 2008

Keep at it.

I ride bikes all day posted:

Yknow, just in case the forums go down in flames after all, I want to get this off my chest: I am still irrationally angry that Builds Character managed to beat The Demon in Lilli’s LP.

That is all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADrojCw6amM

I ride bikes all day
Sep 10, 2007


I shitposted in the same thread for 2 years and all I got was this red text av. Ask me about my autism!



College Slice


builds character
Jan 16, 2008

Keep at it.




better lucky than good

Donkringel
Apr 22, 2008


I think summon Tartarian should be needed by giving you a chance to summon insane human sized pretender gods from previous ascension wars.

They can be less insane or less feebleminded as a balancing result though.

Ynglaur
Oct 9, 2013



A spell to return pretenders defeated in the current game would be cool too.

LordSloth
Mar 7, 2008

Disgruntled (IT) Employee


I think tartarian gate should summon giant, deep fried, undead titans seafood.. I mean, why would only titans and monstrums of the land be imprisoned?

Sage Grimm
Feb 18, 2013

Let's go explorin' little dude!


Water's a universal solvent. Either the prison or the titans (or both) dissolved over the intervening years.

Libluini
May 18, 2012

Did I predict the future?


Grimey Drawer

They should have made the prison out of something that isn't soluble in water, like oil

How are u
May 19, 2005



Or car batteries.

Donkringel
Apr 22, 2008


Libluini posted:

They should have made the prison out of something that isn't soluble in water, like oil

Suspended in baby oil for all eternity.

RoboChrist 9000
Dec 14, 2006

mater dolorosa

Mu. posted:

I have updated Szumogliika (glitch nation) for the modern gamer.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cWg5cIg1dDI

In case you missed them the first time around, Szumogliika have a theory that reality is really a construct that arises from some underlying algorithmic mathematical structure. This structure is organised into loops and threads that exist within some vast celestial engine. By directly manipulating the data flowing through this structure their mages can achieve quite miraculous things.



This update adds a lot of little features that nations in Dominions 5 require that were missing (explicit wall defenders and so on). It also fixes a number of very amusing and ironic bugs, such as Index Out of Bounds underflowing its target's healthpool and granting them 170000maxhp instead of harming them, the Largest Glitch being able to quickly obtain 20000 hitpoints, and, uh, all of the sound effects crashing battle replays because they contained bad metadata.



I also added a bunch of custom items, two new custom spells, and rebalanced some crap.



Szumogliika is an EA modnation which you can download here ---> https://www.dropbox.com/s/z9tscfd0m3f9rqj/glitches_v7.rar.

I love this mod.
I get most of the references in terms of computers/glitch stuff, but out of curiosity - just in case it's another joke going over my head - is the name 'Szumogliika' or 'Amekshadon' or any of the other stuff supposed to be references I'm not catching? Or are they just random fantasy names?

Mu.
Sep 14, 2003

The thing about Forevereal Modding Mu is that he loves editing files and wants others to download his permanent mods. Fully editing, rich text, altering files and loving it. Download his mods and enjoy it.

RoboChrist 9000 posted:

I love this mod.
I get most of the references in terms of computers/glitch stuff, but out of curiosity - just in case it's another joke going over my head - is the name 'Szumogliika' or 'Amekshadon' or any of the other stuff supposed to be references I'm not catching? Or are they just random fantasy names?

they're just fantasy names. the gliika part of szumogliika is just their word for glitch i think.

FlyingCowOfDoom
Aug 1, 2003

let the beat drop


Dumb newbie question playing as the brown Ice Giants middle age (and any other race really) is there a reason to build any other unit besides your Sacred ones if you can afford them? I can build 3 sacred guys, or 5 spear giants with shields and the 3 seem to always outperform a similar cost amount of other units.

FlyingCowOfDoom fucked around with this message at 21:17 on Jun 28, 2020

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Triskelli
Sep 26, 2011

I AM A SKELETON
WITH VERY HIGH
STANDARDS


It looks like their name is “Sum (zero) Glitch” if you squint

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