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potato you are a pomme de terre a potato not an insult I swear an apple of the earth because the french cannot open a mouth without dispensing a poem you are a pomme de terre yourself, yes, singular a potato is not an apple and yet like the french I have not found the word specific not the phrase ideally to describe you in totem like an undiscovered country you pesky factotum I sense your presence but can only say by comparison a pomme de terre, apple of the earth if only I spoke english! then you could be my potato. spectres of autism posted:thanks for the critiques, ill work on them and post some more later I appreciate the jolts of language but I wish there was more of it - the gaps between phrases are nice but the rest is a little plain and feels like generic. "The ether that swims around the cold light of distant stars" has so much filler, I'm going "the that around the of" and bumping over the actual meaningful text that's wedged in between. That prosaic phraseology works in a more conversational poem but here you really need your imagery to glitter hard like obsidian. If you were to remove the speaker aspect, the words would possibly seem to be cut out of metal. They need to be more of object poems than a conscious declaration.
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# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 08:53 |
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# ¿ Apr 24, 2024 12:52 |