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Cheers These are for the too few remedies Scrawling past my injured sight. The golden, discordant melodies Of liquid orchestra. These are for the perceptual tremolos Glassy clinks, again and again, Battering echoes fade fast for each strike and flow To consume of silence. As it stills, the tempo clears And sings to me such savory lullabies As to temper the tinged mirrors Of moments passed. And still, the shallow fading, diminished, Engulfs wrenching symphonies of now To drown the world.
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Oct 19, 2018 18:47
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| # ¿ Apr 25, 2024 16:40 |
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im on the net me boys posted:I'm going to post a poem for the first time even though I always feel like what I write is garbage but I got to thinking and the worst that can happen is some people make fun of me on a forum you pay to post on, so Welcome. Our inner critics are often unreliable, which is why it's nice to have a place like this for honest feedback. That being said, I liked the ideas behind your poem, and its spoken word quality. A critique that comes to mind is to maybe explore with more depth the notion of biases, of the paper not being a complete reflection of you; about others judging weaknesses, instead of seeing the strength those struggles cultivate. I feel like there's a lot of untapped content there. El Desdichado fucked around with this message at 20:45 on Oct 19, 2018 |
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Oct 19, 2018 19:43
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