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Doctor Dogballs
Apr 1, 2007

driving the fuck truck from hand land to pound town without stopping at suction station


my real name is Tom Dickenherry

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I.C.
Jun 10, 2008

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4z848FFClBM

a real rude dude
Jan 23, 2005

columbos name is frank and morse is called endeavour so they have failed

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
What in the heck is the matter with your first name OP???

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

a real rude dude posted:

columbos name is frank

What the gently caress?

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Icochet posted:

What the gently caress?

its true

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

1gnoirents posted:

What in the heck is the matter with your first name OP???

Ok to be honest it's "Judas". It's a nightmare.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Icochet posted:

Ok to be honest it's "Judas". It's a nightmare.

Judas was Christ’s most devoted disciple and the only one Jesus could trust to carry out the vital mission of turning him in. Judas was the Severus Snape of the Bible. HTH.

ladron
Sep 15, 2007

eso es lo que es

Icochet posted:

Ok to be honest it's "Judas". It's a nightmare.

tell people you pronounce it "yooden" and how much you hate it

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Applewhite posted:

Judas was Christ’s most devoted disciple and the only one Jesus could trust to carry out the vital mission of turning him in. Judas was the Severus Snape of the Bible. HTH.

Jesus told him he would betray him three time. Dude had no choice.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

Herbert Johnson, when they ask your first name, don't answer, just show them your johnson.

BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 09:19 on Dec 1, 2017

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

Jesus told him he would betray him three time. Dude had no choice.

That was Peter.

Ginette Reno
Nov 18, 2006

How Doers get more done
Fun Shoe

mazzi Chart Czar posted:

If your first name sucks, shorten the name, nick names or initials.

"Yeah my name is Herb, Jon, Rick, Dick.."
"Yeah, my name is Herbert, but most people call me Henry. "
"My name is H. Johnson. "

With the last one, your hope that you end up being one of those people who last name becomes their name. It feels better for some people.

My name is Herbert, but most people call me Daniel

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Nap Ghost

Applewhite posted:

That was Peter.

oh poo poo your right.
He still new Judas would sell him out
how could he not

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Mumpy Puffinz posted:

oh poo poo your right.
He still new Judas would sell him out
how could he not

Of course he did; it was all part of the plan.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer
Ok ok, say i remain Judas, any ideas how to monetize betraying my friends? It must be pretty much Capitalism 101 but i never took economics at school.

So far I haven't had any offers from the romans.

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
judas iscariot was a famous turncoat

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
he turned his coat on jesus christ, which killed him by the hands of the loving jews

SniperWoreConverse
Mar 20, 2010



Gun Saliva

poopnanners posted:

Just type in your first name and it will automatically be censored for your privacy.

*******

*******

E: woah it's true

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

Orkin Mang posted:

he turned his coat on jesus christ, which killed him by the hands of the loving jews

Or so it would appear. Actually Jesus's endgame was always to be crucified and redeem humanity through his suffering. Any other apostle would have chickened out of the vital task of turning him in to the Sanhedrin, but Judas was so absolutely devoted to Jesus that he obeyed his instructions and trusted the plan even if he didn't fully understand it.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Anyway Judas is a baller first name and lol if you don't insist on being called that even in situations where last names would be more appropriate.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

Applewhite posted:

Anyway Judas is a baller first name and lol if you don't insist on being called that even in situations where last names would be more appropriate.

Yeah it's not that bad i guess. To tell the truth i'm losing interest in this whole project after finding out about "Frank" Columbo.

Anyway, I appreciate all the advice. Thank you.

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

Icochet posted:

Ok to be honest it's "Judas". It's a nightmare.

Hi Jude :wave:

a_pineapple
Dec 23, 2005


A good lifehack for this would be to change your first name so it is the same as your last name. For example, if your name is “Mark Schitt”, you would change your first name from “Mark” to “Schitt.” The result that your full name would be “Schitt Schitt.”

You would then be able to introduce yourself like “Nice to meet you. I’m Schitt.”

Motherfucker
Jul 16, 2011

I certainly dont have deep-seated issues involving birthdays.
change your user settings

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord

Les Os posted:

it's not that difficult to legally change your name tbh

you could just BE Columbo

drat, someone messed with the Awful app. Accidentally added my favorite poster Les Os to my ignore list. Was just trying to see why he’s in posting prison. :smith:

8 Ball
Nov 27, 2010

My hands are all messed up so you better post, brother.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqYV-GLnxQU

Ask this guy

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

the ultimate warrior changed his legal name to warrior. just warrior.

which is a power move

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
I'm trying to imagine a job where your full name wouldn't appear on some kind of official and accessible documentation

Blue Raider
Sep 2, 2006

cool new Polack jokes posted:

I'm trying to imagine a job where your full name wouldn't appear on some kind of official and accessible documentation

CIA

let it mellow
Jun 1, 2000

Dinosaur Gum
usually the more senior u are the more likely u get referred to by ur last name when the masses talk about u. Sometimes they use ur initials too instead lol

so, op, get promoted I suppose

Harold Stassen
Jan 24, 2016
Since OP probably wears a name tag to work isn't the question kinda moot?

SpaceAceJase
Nov 8, 2008

and you
have proved
to be...

a real shitty poster,
and a real james
I want to be called by my last name, but it's got 5 syllables and nobody wants to say the whole thing

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost
Change your name to "Max Power," OP. Then everyone will think you're funny like the Simpsons.

Icochet
Mar 18, 2008

I have a very small TV. Don't make fun of it! Please don't shame it like that~

Grimey Drawer

let it mellow posted:

usually the more senior u are the more likely u get referred to by ur last name when the masses talk about u. Sometimes they use ur initials too instead lol

so, op, get promoted I suppose

It''s a good thought, but carries severe risks. My former boss was called "wanksock" and the current CEO of the company is widely referred as "The Pygmy" (short guy, rarely seen so presumed to hide in the underbrush).

I'd probably get called something like "the Huge Dicked Handsome Guy" and that's just cumbersome.

meet girls at the store
Nov 4, 2002
What happens if you're African American and your last name is Black? Nobody's going to be comfortable with that op

mazzi Chart Czar
Sep 24, 2005

meet girls at the store posted:

What happens if you're African American and your last name is Black? Nobody's going to be comfortable with that op


Nuclear option: Just change your loving name. Your parents were idiots and all their parents were dumb. It takes seven years to stick.

Change your name to Dumass.

Grevling
Dec 18, 2016

When they ask just look pained and embarassed and then mutter "it's Adolf, so...", they'll understand.

Applewhite
Aug 16, 2014

by vyelkin
Nap Ghost

mazzi Chart Czar posted:

Nuclear option: Just change your loving name. Your parents were idiots and all their parents were dumb. It takes seven years to stick.

Change your name to Dumass.

Alexander Dumass

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SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:
Mrs dumass was an English teacher at my high school the jokes were too easy

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