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spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014





Lime Tonics posted:

OP I get the gist of this but why give star citizen attention anymore.

It's a dying idea of gods and men , I get that, but having people aware of it makes the problem bigger.

Let reddit kill it this one time.

Yeah, you've got a good point.

BUT

Goons spend somewhere around 300,000 dollars on this game when we thought it was going to actually happen. We (goons) have also made hundreds of amazing gifs, youtubes, and photoshops over that time.

I think we are seeing the actual last weeks/months of this thing and I'd like us to remember all the awesome creations goons have made either in support of, or against, or just silly stuff about this Star Citizen thing.

Look at this stuff:









https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMcp06Sdwe8

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ppdnbrylevc

Chris and co are poo poo. But there's been a lot of lols.

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big nipples big life
May 12, 2014





Megamarm

post the gif of the doob dogs on the ramp

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless


Do it ironically
Jul 13, 2010


you have to give the creators credit, they had an idea, and that idea was how can we live and work in one of the most expensive but awesome places in the world (santa monica)

and the answer was to scam a bunch of nerd losers for millions, the game will never come out but they will have paid themselves out over a hundred million dollars to afford to live in santa monica, im impressed

food court bailiff
Oct 2, 2007

fast n furious foodstuff



Soiled Meat

don't we have a full subforum for this or is it just derek_smart masturbating angrily in a corner over a picture of chris roberts


realtalk: chris roberts is kind of my hero, bilking nerds for millions and marrying a fetish porn star, dude knows what he wants and takes it

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014









spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014





food court bailiff posted:

realtalk: chris roberts is kind of my hero, bilking nerds for millions and marrying a fetish porn star, dude knows what he wants and takes it

When you're right, you're right.

Conch Shell Corp
Feb 24, 2009



Vargs posted:

are the True Believers still going strong or has their fanbase finally started to turn?
I doubt they ever will, as they are buying the IDEA of a game, and are invested in potential. If they wanted to drop 10 grand and buy the biggest spaceship dick, they could be playing EVE or some other lovely space sim. As long as they keep expanding what they're working on, the lovely product in front of them is irrelevant, because they're always waiting for something new that'll fix it!

RobotDogPolice
Dec 1, 2016


I love the theory crafting posts where players imagine what the game will be like while insisting that their fan fiction is real. It's some real cult poo poo.

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 30, 2003
MANGOSTEEN CHUGGER


Did Derek smart get permabanned or something because his name has been mentioned more than once here and yet he hasn't shown up to mercilessly self-own yet

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014





RobotDogPolice posted:

I love the theory crafting posts where players imagine what the game will be like while insisting that their fan fiction is real. It's some real cult poo poo.

They are a broken people. Read this:



spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014





Mein Kampf Enthusiast posted:

Did Derek smart get permabanned or something because his name has been mentioned more than once here and yet he hasn't shown up to mercilessly self-own yet

The warlord keeps his posting to the games forum. He lurks a lot though.

Call Your Grandma
Jan 17, 2010




Snow Cone Capone
Jul 30, 2003
MANGOSTEEN CHUGGER



please tell me this was posted by the actual stimpire dude

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 30, 2003
MANGOSTEEN CHUGGER


spacetoaster posted:

The warlord keeps his posting to the games forum. He lurks a lot though.



do I have to like say his name 3 times in a single post or something

Dynastocles
May 29, 2009

"If you'll excuse me, my dinner time is six o'clock. Only gangsters eat at 9 o'clock, after some bootlegging and a hot game of craps."

College Slice


Didn't this guy post this in Creative Convention, to rave reviews?

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014





Mein Kampf Enthusiast posted:

do I have to like say his name 3 times in a single post or something

If you really want to just talk to him send him a pm or email or something.

If you're not crazy he'll have a beer with you too (if you're in town).

Proposition Castle
Aug 9, 2004
Witty message goes here.


They sure aren't skimping on the AC budget.

treerat
Oct 4, 2005
up here so high i start to shake up here so high the sky i scrape

Proposition Castle posted:

They sure aren't skimping on the AC budget.

lol and goons think the money is being wasted!

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 30, 2003
MANGOSTEEN CHUGGER


That carpet looks pretty dirty though, maybe pay for janitor, morons

Yaldabaoth
Oct 9, 2012
Who do I have to piss off to get a red title?


I always wondered if this guy had a backstory in mind when he set up this pic because to me it looks like space bunny man stole a bunch of sex dolls and now he's about to have a shoot out to the death as the space cops close in on him

Rated PG-34
Jul 1, 2004






I just saw this same scam on Flight of the Conchords last night. nerds are gonna be mad when their plot of land goes supernova

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless


RobotDogPolice posted:

I love the theory crafting posts where players imagine what the game will be like while insisting that their fan fiction is real. It's some real cult poo poo.

We had a guy in my gaming group get really mad because of all of us didn't want to play the crappy tech demo even though we had planned on eventually playing the game officially on release.

"How are we ever going to get good at it?!? Everyone will be so far ahead of us if we don't play now!"

We all basically just said noooope. This was 2 years ago.

Hustlin Floh
Jul 20, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Was it confirmed that the lady actually was the one in the tickle videos?

Extra Large Marge
Jan 21, 2004



Fun Shoe

The game is actually completed, they just need more money to commission IBM to create a computer powerful enough to run it.

Stay tuned true believers!

Fishy Joe
Apr 19, 2005
Eat at Fishy Joe's

Does this game got wizards

food court bailiff
Oct 2, 2007

fast n furious foodstuff



Soiled Meat

Hustlin Floh posted:

Was it confirmed that the lady actually was the one in the tickle videos?

no, i mean we're talking about internet weirdo shutins here, they don't know anything about weird porn, it's good to doubt them on it

Blazing Ownager
Jun 2, 2007

by FactsAreUseless


Fishy Joe posted:

Does this game got wizards

Yes, his name is Roberts and he can make your money disappear!

Prokhor Zakharov
Dec 31, 2008
Good luck with your depression!


spacetoaster posted:

The rabbit hole with citizens (star citizen supporters) goes quite deep.











evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status:Perpetually fearful

Strangely the game does appear to be making steady progress in creating new experiences, actual playable content and stuff to see.

It just isn't stuff anyone wants. Or is going so slowly their pipeline must be suffering massively from a haphazard design or lack of oversight.

Stick Figure Mafia
Dec 11, 2004



What is a Stimpire?

Stick Figure Mafia fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Nov 30, 2017

Manic Technophile
Nov 13, 2017

by FactsAreUseless


Stick Figure Mafia posted:

What is a Stimpire?

quote:

In the last 500 years, the Fourth Stimpire has dominated four systems, which it has united into one starzone, Stimsis. The Fourth Stimpire has origins from the Ten Empire War in which 10 of the United Stimpires revolted against each rules. All empires except for the fourth swore freedom upon their citizens. There is no free speech in the Fourth Stimpire, and all self-controlled transportation has been made illegal without undergoing painful medical verification methods, in which arteries are severed without pain resistant, operated entirely by machines. The way they work claim to be the most hygenic and healthy way possible, but these machines often rub against pain points, causing great deals of pain to patients. The heart is then extracted from the body and placed into a glass grinding machine. Various energy centers are also dissected and replaced with dangerous transplants. After the painful, 52 hour surgical procedure, patients will then have to use a fused guidance tool, which pumps painful resistors into the body every 2 hours. The pain they have caused is so bad, the victim would freeze in a tense position. They would then collapse afterwards.

Sexual stimulation in any way within the grounds of the Fourth Stimpire is strictly prohibited, and anyone detected even touching their sexual organs will be subjected to a penectomy or if the offender was a female, they would then have a razor inserted into their ovaries. They would pump a blue solution into the womb until the stitchings burst. Offenders would also be forced to show their operated areas in public, and they would always harass and punch them to a pulp, against their will.

Otherwise, offenders would be tazed with the worst type of electricity in the systematic district, causing so much pain, the victim would scream and flail in madness. The pain would also triple every second, but no death would be incurred. This is also used in combat against enemy units, which is why all UEE forces must wear the upgraded suit to block this effect.

However, enertainment is also questionable in UEE grounds. Sporting events end with the losing team being rounded into a grinder and shredded on live television, boxing matches end with the loser having their hands removed without anasthesia, flight races would end with the losers having their arms and legs removed, then being injected with insanity, for entertainment. People are also forced into these events, by undergoing a painful 127 hour procedure which involves tweaking the muscles so they will not listen to brain commands, and then having a painful drug injected which also causes madness if the player is not sporting. This is all for entertainment, and anyone not watching any of it during sporting times and cheering for the winning team, they will be imprisoned into galactic camps.

Snuff films are also broadcast, and actors are actually murdered just for entertainment. Stealth droids also guide these forced actors into behaving exactly as the director dreams, otherwise they will be punished by being placed into a macerator and having their execution written into the film. Any film that does not feature someone being murdered will be burned and the entire crew behind it will be executed in the most grotesque way possible - vivisection.

All executions are broadcast, and anyone who misses even a millisecond, even by blinking, will be executed. All citizens must boo to the person being executed, and the family is gathered to be injected with eternators, which cause pain forever, making them immoral but feeling the pain tenfold every millisecond. They cannot pass out, but they will feel like it forever.

Conquests by this Stimpire end in the planet being razed, and all the citizens being executed in the same way as their citizens are. The planet is then destroyed and all remnants of it are removed, and any memories of it will be erased instantly from civil minds. People who are also killed are also erased from memories, and all memories of them, including toys and pictures, are destroyed.

Prisoners undergo 40,000 years of relentless and endless labor, and anyone not complying is sentenced to the eternator injection. All prisoners injected with eternators are placed into capsules and launched into far space, then the room is closed tight to ensure maximum insanity. Some prisoners are also subjected to the removal of blood, the lungs, the liver, the genitals, the skeleton, the muscles, the eyes, and even the injection of pressure. Prisoners sentenced to pressure chambers are locked in until they are inflated to a high level. The decompression is then stopped to make sure they are inflated and uncomfortable.

Children born on the 14th of July are subjected to the removal of their skeleton and an implant of a silver liquid to replace it. The nervous sysem is also injected in various parts to ensure it is five times more sensitive than the average.

Restaurants also are ordered to serve civil meat, and anyone attending must give themself up to be cooked into a grotesque meal. They are cooked alive, undergoing extreme pain, and are then subjected to industrial grinders and blenders. The Stimpire orders at least 1 million citizens to be dispatched every day, as they are afraid the population may overthrow them. But only one planet is cared for, and the rest are banned from eating, drinking, talking, using technology, touching anyone, wearing unauthorized clothes, touching buildings, or walking a centimeter out of designated routes. Civil enforcers are on every planet, and they are engineered so that they are 40 times larger than the 300 quadrillion population. At least 7 billion die every 12 hours under this rule.

Thoughts are also surveyed, and anyone who does not think anything to loving the Stimpire with more than their capabilities will be sentenced to a prison. Prisoners who are punished for this violation will meet their greatest fear, only to have it amplified so they will turn insane as they imagine it exactly as they fear it. They then undergo a painful extraction of all fluids, to be replaced by a toxin which causes permanent irritation. The unknown substance keeps the subject aging normally, except they will never die. Prisoners punished in this way are unable to be reverted, despite many efforts, and they will never be able to be disposed.

The sickening truths have been revealed only today, and invigilation teams are still investigating the truths without setting foot in the galactic space of this sickening empire.

Hustlin Floh
Jul 20, 2009

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS


Stick Figure Mafia posted:

What is a Stimpire?



I mean, DUH

DogonCrook
Apr 24, 2016

I think my 20 years as hurricane chaser might be a little relevant ive been through more hurricanws than moat shiitty newscasters


You can lick my balls and according to the laws of the stimpire you can also just go ahead and give yourself a penectomy after those pain pumps are done with you because touching genitals are illegal moron.

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012



I laugh every time at "the worst kind of electricity"

Magius1337est
Sep 13, 2017

Chimichanga


is this game seriously made in the crysis engine?

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

~*Suck My Balls*~

Fun Shoe

this belongs in the OP, OP!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rc7ywfd1qe8

QuarkJets
Sep 8, 2008

It's a handshake in progress


I heard there's going to be a module where you can touch a boob

VictorianQueerLit
Aug 25, 2017

by R. Guyovich


Magius1337est posted:

is this game seriously made in the crysis engine?

Are you suggesting that Cryengine can't render trillions of polygons for millions of entities in thousands of locations over hundreds of systems in septillions of kilometers at 4k resolution with zero lag and seamless transitions?

Because it sounds like you are suggesting that. Chris Roberts has promised it so we know it's a certainty. Maybe check your attitude at the door you piece of poo poo.

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COMRADES
Apr 3, 2017

by LITERALLY AN ADMIN


Stick Figure Mafia posted:

What is a Stimpire?

a lotta marines

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