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Who will hold the record for Most The Champion Of Featherweight? This poll is closed. |
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| Max |
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21 | 61.76% |
| Jose |
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13 | 38.24% |
| Total: | 34 votes | ||
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 Welcome to the GDT for UFC 218: Holloway vs Aldo II, 10 p.m. Saturday, Dec. 2 only on PPV! Remember, do not post streams or you will have a record-fast probation or ban from Jerusalem! I am your host and resident Guinness Book of World Records judge Bluedeanie here to write another GDT for an exciting night of UFC fights. There are actually a ton of fights making records today. You’ve probably seen advertised beforehand — like Francis Ngannou’s punching power or Jose Aldo’s consecutive UFC title fights — while others might shock and surprise you. So without further delay, let us get down to brass tacks and determine who is the best in the world at some obscure, meaningless bullshit.  For the featherweight title  Max “Blessed” Holloway (c) vs.  Jose Aldo Max Holloway has held a number of records in his time. He was the youngest fighter on the UFC roster for a period of time, had the longest winning streak before getting a title fight in UFC featherweight history at 9 and is currently tied for most KO/TKO wins in UFC featherweight history as well. That’s all very impressive, but what stands out most about this ambitious 25-year-old Hawaiian is that he is the most Not Knocked Out By Conor McGregor fighter to face him in the UFC. He shortly shared this distinction with Nate Diaz until the Guinness judging panel determined that Diaz did not produce a registrable quantity of brain activity, making us unable to determine whether he had been knocked out at any point during the fight. Holloway hopes to repeat his performance over Aldo to break ahead as the definitive knockout artist in the division this Saturday, so rest assured us record-keepers will be keeping close watch. Jose Aldo has held many win streak and featherweight performance records in his long and storied career as well, and now that he has been pulled from his three-round rematch with Ricardo Lamas to rematch Holloway in place of an injured Frankie Edgar he will officially have had the most consecutive title fights as champion or challenger in the UFC. Once again, though, there is a more important record at stake here. By refusing to watch relevant fights in his division and instead sit at home watching softcore pornography, Jose Aldo has established himself as the horniest UFC champion, current or former. And for as long as Teruto is too critically Japanese to beat Artem Lobov, Aldo looks set to hold that record for as long as he held the UFC belt. Heavyweight  Alistair Overeem vs.  Francis Ngannou Alistair Overeem is a hulk of a man who can claim to be one of the only men to earn high-evel championships in kickboxing, jiu jitsu AND MMA. The highest level title of them all in MMA eluded him when champion Stipe Miocic knocked him out so bad he thought he had just submitted Mark Hunt in Japan, but Overeem’s party trick can’t keep him down for long. A KO in the Hunt rematch and a decision win over former champ Fabricio Werdum shows Overeem still has what it takes to beat up overweight dudes in their 40s and thus is almost always near a title shot. He also holds a great record, edging out Patrick Cote and a pack of wolves documented to have terrorized the countryside in feudal France for most kilograms of horse flesh consumed in a four-year period. However, a robot in the UFC gym has declared that Francis Ngannou is officially, verifiably the most powerful man alive, unseating longtime champion Artie the sex pervert from the early ‘90s Nickelodeon live-action classic Pete and Pete. While Artie had a more pleasant alt-rock indie-grunge soundtrack driven by guest appearances from Iggy Pop, and this was the same untrustworthy robot that claimed Jon Fitch was as powerful as three adult gibbons and could tear a Sherman tank apart with his bare hands, Ngannou is a great big French Cameroonian man who would instantly make middle American pedestrians nervous enough to call the cops on sight and create a rapidly-escalating encounter that would end in tragedy and without meaningful consequence to the perpetrators, so I think we can all agree he is the true winner here. Flyweight  Henry Cejudo vs.  Sergio Pettis Henry Cejudo holds a record for most decorated person in a specific discipline of fighting to get mercilessly and hilariously owned in that discipline by a guy who did it a little bit in high school when he wasn’t being shoved in backpacks or playing World of Warcraft. Sergio Pettis’ handsome, Puerto Rican complexion and extremely meticulous linebeard grants him the honor of Most Handsome, Tan Fighter Who Has Spent His Whole Career In His More Successful Older Brother’s Shadow, taking the record from its previous hideous-but-defacto holder Lil Nog. While Pettis has yet to particularly impress anyone, he did get kicked really hard in the butthole while TKOd and that was good. Lightweight  Eddie Alvarez vs.  Justin Gaethje The US recordholder for most ethnically ambiguous fighter, Eddie Alvarez has held both Bellator and UFC gold and has exciting fights often enough to bet sucking your dick on it, but also has duds often enough to make that bet a really bad idea. Now the highest profile Toms River fighter on the card, Alvarez hopes to make his adopted New Jersey town as proud as his home of Philadelphia. Justin Gaethje holds records for both most consensus (online) Fight of the Year awards for someone who has only fought on fictional channel NBC Sports, and longest to go without a wikipedia despite mounting accomplishments due to one very petty moderator. This is by far the biggest and most challenging fight of his career, so all we can do is hope it’s a barn burner. Strawweight  Tecia Torres vs.  Michelle Waterson Tecia Torres holds the record for person people care about the least on this great main card. If this were a fair and just world we might be able to muster some interest in her performances since she seems good enough and has only lost to now-champ Rose Namajunas as a professional, and she even finally earned a career finish against Juliana Lima in July and I am pretty sure that is an actual fighter and not a background character in a Carmen Sandiego game. Unfortunately she is engaged to Rocky Pennington and we are extremely jealous of how brave she is to live in the open like that while we have to pretend that we don’t want Francis Carmont to hold us down and pant for 15 minutes. Former Invicta strawweight champion Michelle “the Karate Hottie” Waterson attempted to break the world record for Hottiest Karate Fighter, but unfortunately as I said above, all fans of MMA are closeted gays so that honor still befalls Lyoto Machida. However, she does clock in as the physically tiniest fighter in the UFC, taking the record from Mighty Mouse. Mighty Mouse himself was too busy maintaining his fraction-of-a-second-margin first place spot on the online leaderboards for Overwatch to defend, but I am sure we will see the champ back in top form soon. OTHER poo poo TO WATCH Preliminary Card (Fox Sports 1), 8 p.m. ET Lightweight Charles Oliveira vs. Paul Felder Welterweight Alex Oliveira vs. Yancy Medeiros Lightweight David Teymur vs. Drakkar Klose Women's Strawweight Felice Herrig vs. Cortney Casey Preliminary Card (UFC Fight Pass), 6:15 p.m. ET Welterweight Abdul Razak Alhassan vs. Sabah Homasi Light Heavyweight Jeremy Kimball vs. Dominick Reyes Heavyweight Justin Willis vs. Allen Crowder Women's Strawweight Amanda Cooper vs. Angela Magaña Official MMA snack rating: the world’s largest gluten free pizza 
Bluedeanie fucked around with this message at 14:09 on Dec 2, 2017 |
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Dec 2, 2017 03:28
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| # ? Apr 19, 2024 16:28 |
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Why no gluten?
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Dec 2, 2017 03:34
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I dont make the records man
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Dec 2, 2017 03:35
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Great looking card, great OP. Seriously, this card looks surprisingly good. Go Aldo!
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Dec 2, 2017 03:43
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Rooting for Aldo over Max is incorrect.
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Dec 2, 2017 04:34
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I don't have even a little faith that aldo has a shot which means he will win by KO
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Dec 2, 2017 04:37
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whats wrong with liking jose aldo?
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Dec 2, 2017 06:50
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i think people are writing him off too quickly tho holloway is the rightful favorite
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Dec 2, 2017 07:22
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i genuinely think max is the better fighter in every area except for offensive wrestling. that said the fight will be sick.
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Dec 2, 2017 07:23
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Because it's in my clipboard and it's extremely loving cool, doubling up from the UFC thread http://puu.sh/yxKTx/38ea47b5bc.webm
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Dec 2, 2017 08:56
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"Saturday, Dec. 3 " Saturday is December 2!
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Dec 2, 2017 09:33
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Lone Goat posted:"Saturday, Dec. 3 " even in Australia?
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Dec 2, 2017 09:40
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Gay Horney posted:even in Australia? ESPECIALLY in Australia
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Dec 2, 2017 09:54
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Skip My Posts posted:i think people are writing him off too quickly tho holloway is the rightful favorite this is my feeling too. having said this I can now feel smart whoever wins.
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Dec 2, 2017 10:11
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Dec 2, 2017 10:39
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Finally, an Angela Magana card
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Dec 2, 2017 12:01
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Aaaaaangela Magana [a monkey stood at the edge of a cliff is holding up what appears to be a severely terrible fighter in a body cast]
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Dec 2, 2017 12:40
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Wrong thread
Triticum Guzzler fucked around with this message at 12:59 on Dec 2, 2017 |
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Dec 2, 2017 12:46
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Triticum Guzzler posted:Aaaaaangela Magana [a monkey stood at the edge of a cliff is holding up what appears to be a severely terrible fighter in a body cast] lol also what's this bullshit about Lyoto Machida being the prettiest karate fighter in the ufc? last time I checked Sage Northcutt was still a thing.
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Dec 2, 2017 14:18
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I bet aldo tries to throw a leg kick and eats a nasty straight left
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Dec 2, 2017 17:37
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Triticum Guzzler posted:Aaaaaangela Magana [a monkey stood at the edge of a cliff is holding up what appears to be a severely terrible fighter in a body cast]
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Dec 2, 2017 17:45
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDT1r55vwjM
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Dec 2, 2017 18:01
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Triticum Guzzler posted:Aaaaaangela Magana [a monkey stood at the edge of a cliff is holding up what appears to be a severely terrible fighter in a body cast] Goddamn amazing
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Dec 2, 2017 20:59
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I'm going to this tonight. It's my first live event and I get to see the fighter I've probably enjoyed watching the most over the years Jose Aldo. Max will probably have his number again, but I think it's going to be a great fight. Lots of good fights on this card.
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Dec 2, 2017 21:15
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This is one hell of a first card on paper to go to, hope it lives up to the hype for you.
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Dec 2, 2017 21:36
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Max Holloway is insanely good but it would be kinda sad if he retired Aldo imo. Also it would be really bad if Aldo lost and didn't retire, because they'd have to establish one of those parallel Fitch dimensions where nobody who could feasibly fight for the title faces him
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Dec 2, 2017 21:50
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This feels real similar to the toronto card last year at like the same time in december. A bunch of fights got cancelled and stuff got moved around and we ended up getting a much better card than what was originally planned
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Dec 2, 2017 22:50
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there is nothing on a planet of earth like a gaethje fight
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Dec 2, 2017 23:57
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Fightpass prelims are starting.
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Dec 3, 2017 00:18
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First fight is Big Pretty vs Pretty Boy. And this fight will be undoubtedly ugly.
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Dec 3, 2017 00:18
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Willis is a big fat guy, go big fat guy!
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Dec 3, 2017 00:20
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Willis seems like a funny dude so he has my vote. Edit: Uh oh. He's coming out to Eminem. RIP Big Pretty.
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Dec 3, 2017 00:22
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Jerusalem posted:Willis is a big fat guy, go big fat guy! he looks like Killer Mike if Killer Mike decided to take his shirt off
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Dec 3, 2017 00:25
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Willis rules and that was a hell of a KO
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Dec 3, 2017 00:27
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fat guy punches
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Dec 3, 2017 00:27
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Big boy season.
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Dec 3, 2017 00:27
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God drat willis hits hard.
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Dec 3, 2017 00:27
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an AIDS bomb
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Dec 3, 2017 00:28
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Lmao. "I would duck that thing like it was an AIDS bomb"
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Dec 3, 2017 00:28
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"I would duck that thing like it was an AIDS bomb" Joe with that top level commentary
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Dec 3, 2017 00:28
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