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Memento
Aug 25, 2009





UFC December - Rounding out the year in style

Last month's thread is here. November was pretty god damned crazy.

We started the month out on the 4th with UFC 217. This had the potential to be one of the best cards ever put together by the UFC and in terms of spectacle, craziness and awesome fights it absolutely did not disappoint. There wasn't a single fight that stood out as the being the level of Robbie/Rory II but almost all of the fights were good-to-great, there was drama, action and three new champions in a single night. With so much to offer and such high drama, UFC 217 is now my personal favourite MMA card of all time.

Opening the night was a spinning back elbow KO of Firas Zahabi's little brother, a highlight reel strike by Ricardo Ramos in the Bantamweight division. The next fight saw Curtis Blaydes attempt to kick Oleksiy Oliynyk's head off while he was downed - fortunately for him, the kick barely flicked his opponent's ear. The doctor inspected the Ukrainian and determined that the round and a half of solid beating he had taken meant that regardless of the kick, the fight was over. Randy Brown then handed Mickey Gall his first career loss in the Welterweight division, a solid back-and-forth fight that either man could have won at any time. Ovince St. Preux was looking a little unsteady against Corey Anderson until a perfectly timed left high kick knocked Anderson down and out in the third. Walt Harris was soundly beating Mark Godbeer through the first round until he inadvertently kicked his opponent in the cup. This wouldn't have been remarkable if it weren't for the fact that while the referee was stepping in to pause the fight and his Godbeer was reeling from the impact, Harris delivered a massive headkick (seen here) and was subsequently disqualified. Seriously, the ref was already basically holding on to him when he delivered it. The preliminary fights were rounded out by James Vick getting a 2nd round TKO victory over the veteran Joe Duffy, moving The Texecutioner to 12-1.

The main card started with a visibly bloated Johny Hendricks having the poo poo punched out of him by a Brazilian underwear model. Paulo Costa is an incredibly good looking man. The only unenventful fight on this card came next with Stephen Thompson getting the decision over Jorge Masvidal. Then we moved on to the title fights, and they all delivered on their promise. Joanna Jędrzejczyk looked to defend her women's strawweight belt against Rose Namajunas, but in the biggest upset of the night and possibly the year, Thug Rose stopped the champion with a left hook and hammerfists on the ground to get the TKO win in 3:03 of the first round. A huge underdog, Rose took the victory no one said she could, and Pat Barry got as close to a UFC title as he ever will. The men's Bantamweight championship was next on the line, and Cody Garbrandt dominated the early going, sending his opponent TJ Dillashaw crashing to the canvas with a huge right hook with only seconds left in the first round. Dillashaw got some very solid corner advice from Dwayne "Bang" Ludwig and surprised Garbrandt in the second with a left high kick that temporarily sent Garbrandt to the ground. A solid combination from Dillashaw ended with a solid right hook that sent the champion down again, and this time TJ pounced and pounded his opponent out. The referee waved the fight off and Garbrandt got straight back up and looked ready to keep going, but it was too late and TJ Dillashaw recaptured the gold.

The main event of the evening saw the returning Georges St. Pierre taking on the reigning Middleweight champion Michael Bisping. St. Pierre controlled the first round, outstriking Bisbing and sending to the canves towards the end of the round with the Englishman quickly bouncing back up. The second round was more even, with Bisping landing straight rights to good effect and St. Pierre looking to lose a little momentum and endurance. The third round started with a solid single-leg from the challenger which saw St. Pierre land in Bisping's guard; the champion used this to good effect with slashing elbows opening up some massive cuts on the Canadian's forehead. In the middle of the round, Bisping got back up and swung a right hand that saw St. Pierre counter with a huge left hook, dropping the champion to the floor. St. Pierre swarmed his opponent and attempted to finish him with elbows and punches from the top. Bisping's legendary resilience was on show, and St. Pierre switched tactics, taking his opponent's back and sinking in a solid rear-naked choke. Bisping fought it all the way into unconsciousness, and for the first time ever a UFC event saw three new champions have their hands raised. St. Pierre now joins only three other men (Randy Couture, BJ Penn and Conor McGregor) in holding UFC championships in two divisions.

Rose Namajunas sends Joanna Jędrzejczyk to the floor
https://i.imgur.com/VifS4UP.mp4

TJ Dillashaw sets up the right hand on Cody Garbrandt
https://i.imgur.com/3nBvvsP.mp4

A savagely bloodied GSP lands a vicious left hook on Michael Bisping
https://i.imgur.com/Rta2DGS.mp4

The 11th of the month saw the UFC head to Norfolk, Virginia for the first time ever for UFC Fight Night: Poirier vs. Pettis. Coming on the heels of such a hot card in UFC 217, this card was always set to be a little bit of a letdown, but had a few decent fights and a highlight-reel KO in the co-main. Matt Brown set up an incredible high standing elbow on Diego Sanchez that felled his opponent in no uncertain terms.

https://i.imgur.com/dKvtO2d.mp4

The main event ended strangely, with Anthony Pettis losing to Dustin Poirier by rib injury. A clearly struggling Pettis indicated his capitulation after having a body triangle locked on to him in what was otherwise a fairly one-sided fight, with Poirier seriously messing up the face of his opponent. At one stage the doctor had to be called in to check on Pettis, with the former WEC champion having blood streaming down his face into his eyes.

The following weekend brought us UFC Fight Night: Werdum vs. Tybura from the Qudos Arena in Sydney, Australia. This event was originally slated to be headlined by Mark Hunt taking on Marcin Tybura, but after publishing an article where he claimed to have memory loss and slurred speech, the Samoan was pulled from the fight and replaced with Fabricio Werdum. This event brought us a grand total of ten decision victories and now holds the record for the longest UFC card of all time, with a fight time total of 3:04:18, and four fighters who managed to miss weight. The main event saw Werdum doing exactly as much as he needed and nothing more to beat the clearly over-matched Tybura. A highlight from the event was promotional newcomer and former professional rugby player Tai Tuivasa knocking out Rashad Coulter by flying knee in the first round.

https://i.imgur.com/engVWEg.mp4

Finally, in November the UFC headed over to Shanghai for UFC Fight Night: Bisping vs. Gastelum. Yes, Michael Bisping. Yes, the same Michael Bisping who only three weeks earlier was knocked down by George St. Pierre and who had a medical suspension of 30 days no-contact applied by the NYSAC. With Anderson Silva testing positive to PEDs on the 11th of the month, the card needed a proper main event, and Bisping stepped up to offer his services on three weeks' notice.

It ended exactly the way you'd expect.
https://i.imgur.com/vcsZJNK.mp4

Bisping once again presents an enormous target to anyone who has a decent left hand, and of all the things you can say about Kelvin Gastelum, good or bad, "has a decent left hand" is definitely one of them.

There were a couple of neat submissions on this card, in particular Zabit Magomedsharipov taking out Sheymon Moraes with an anaconda choke in the feature bout of the prliminaries. The usual fare of lesser-known local fighters rounded out this regional card, and I would like to throw a personal shout-out to Wang Guan, who was kicked in the dick at least four times by Alex Caceres to a resounding "..." from the ref.


UFC events in December

This month brings us five(!) events, two Pay-Per-Views, two free-to-air cards and the finale of The Ultimate Fighter 26.

As you read this, The Ultimate Fighter 26 Finale hs just wrapped up. I won't put any spoilers here in case people are wanting to catch the replay. The main event was going to be Sijara Eubanks vs. Nicco Montaño in the final, but with Eubanks being hospitalised due to a failed weight cut, Roxanne Modafferi will be taking her place. A lot of the other fights on the card are between competitors in women's Flyweight from the season just passed, so we may even see a real division out of this.

The following day, UFC 218 comes to you live from Detroit, Michigan. This event was originally slated to be main evented by Max Holloway vs. Frankie Edgar, but with Edgar suffering a broken orbital bone in training, Jose Aldo Jr. has answered to call and will attempt to reclaim the Featherweight title. Other fights to watch out for will be Alistair Overeem vs. Francis Ngannou, with the canny veteran looking to lay claim to another title shot, and the up-and-coming Cameroonian looking to cement his place at the top of the Heavyweight rankings. And in what has the potential to be an insanely violent spectacle, Eddie Alvarez and Justin Geathje go head to head in the TUF coaches' fight at Lightweight.

The 9th brings us to Fresno, California for UFC Fight Night: Swanson vs. Ortega. Cub Swanson is coming off four decision wins in a row, including a Fight of the Year performance against Doo Ho Choi in December 2016. Brian Ortega is putting his undefeated record on the line and wants to make sure his name is among the best Featherweights in the world.

The following weekend, Goon favourite Robbie Lawler is taking on Rafael dos Anjos at UFC on Fox: Lawler vs. dos Anjos from Winnepeg, Manitoba, Canada. Lawler hasn't been too active since losing the Welterweight title in July of 2016 but as the man who put on the best fight of the year in 2014, 2015 and 2016, he is always a welcome addition to our TV screens.

Finally, UFC 219 rounds out the month on the 30th. Struggling to find a main event worthy of the name, this card is currently headed by Cristiane Justino putting her women's Featherweight title on the line against Holly Holm. Khabib Nurmagomedov is booked to take on Edson Barboza in what is currently the co-main, with his ability to make 155 still remaining to be seen.

UFC News

Mark Hunt flew into Las Vegas to take a battery of tests from the UFC's medical staff to clear him to fight again. Whether he passes them or not I think we all know the answer to whether he actually should.

As mentioned above, Anderson Silva was flagged for a potential USADA violation on the 11th of the month. With this being his second strike for PEDs, this could very well spell the end of The Spider's career.

In Conor Mcgregor news, he did a bunch of stupid poo poo that could almost make you think he went from dirt poor to being a multi-millionaire and developing a nasty coke habit. He jumped in a Bellator cage while a fight was still going. He pushed over the referee and then slapped a Bellator official. He is also apparently in a feud with some Irish drug cartel who want him dead. Watch this space for Tony Ferguson Undisputed Lightweight Champion of the World sometime in early 2018.

One of the dumbest pieces of news from this or any month is that Fabricio Werdum was arrested in Sydney, Australia, for throwing a plastic toy boomerang at Colby Covington. Yes, those words that you just read are a thing that happened. He was released on bail to appear in the Sydney Magistrate's Court on the 13th of December - the weather should be lovely so I assume he'll bring his family for a holiday.

Light Heavyweight prospect Volkan Oezdemir was arrested for aggravated battery on the 19th of the month. This didn't stop his title fight against Daniel Cormier being confirmed on twitter later in the month. He was released on bail the same day and the UFC released a statement calling it a "bar room altercation" and saying that Oezdemir acted in self defense.

Finally, The Ultimate Fighter: A New World Champion, saw both top seeds knocked out of the semi-finals by the 14th and 12th seed respectively. However, on the eve of the live finale, Sijara Eubanks was hospitalised during a failed weight cut, with Roxanne Modaferri stepping in as her replacement.



Your Current Champions

Men's Heavyweight Champion - Stipe Miocic (19-2)
Stipe Miocic won the Heavyweight title in May of 2016, stopping Fabricio Verdum in front of his countrymen in a single round. He backed this feat up with another first-round stoppage of the most decorated Heavyweight of all time, Alistair Overeem, in Miocic's home town of Cleveland in September. It was considered that the winner of the fight between Werdum and Cain Velasquez at UFC 207, a rematch of the fight where Werdum took Velasquez' belt from him in 2015, would be Miocic's next opponent, but Velasquez was forced out of this bout with yet another leg injury. Miocic defended his title in May 2017, with yet another first round KO of his opponent, making Junior dos Santos his second scalp as champion and equalling the all-time title defenses record. No current opponent is announced, with Miocic hung up in contract negotiations with the UFC, but a superfight with Jon Jones was being discussed before the latter tested positive for retardistry.


Men's Light Heavyweight Champion - Daniel Cormier (19-1-(1))
Daniel Cormier won the belt initially in May of 2015 against the heavy-hitting Anthony Johnson by rear-naked choke in the third round. Cormier defended his belt against Alexander Gustaffson in October of 2015 in a split decision. A planned rematch against Jon Jones was scheduled for UFC 200, which was called off after Jones tested positive for banned substances. Cormier went on to fight Anderson Silva in a non-title bout on three days' notice. Cormier was slated to fight Anthony Johnson in a rematch for the belt in December, a match which did not took place due to Cormier suffering a groin adductor injury. The bout took place at UFC 210 in April, with Cormier defending the belt in under two rounds and Johnson riding off into the sunset with a surprise retirement. The rematch against Jon Jones finally took place at UFC 215 and Jones managed to keep his poo poo together for a grand total of 24 days. Then he tested positive for steroids and had the fight result overturned and the title stripped, and it is now back around the waist of Cool MMA Dad Daniel Cormier. Cormier's next challenger has been announced as Volkan "No Time" Oezdemir, with the fight scheduled for UFC 220 in late January 2018.


Men's Middleweight Champion - Georges St. Pierre (26-2)
When he stepped away from fighting in 2013, George St. Pierre was considered to be the greatest Welterweight of all time and one of the greatest fighters of all time in general. In mid-2016, he announced he would be returning to the octagon, having signed a four-fight contract to round out his stellar career. Originally it was speculated that he would be fighting Tyron Woodley, it was announced in March 2017 that he would be taking on Michael Bisping at UFC 217. With an excellent performance in the main event of that card, he took the Middleweight title with a technical submission victory over Bisping in the third round, becoming only the fourth ever competitor to capture a UFC title in more than one division. No challenger is announced at this stage.



Men's Interim Middleweight Champion - Robert Whittaker (19-4)
Whittaker rode a seven-fight winning streak, including shutting down the deadly takedowns of Ronaldo "Jacare" Souza to slot himself into an Interim Middleweight championship match against Yoel "Soldier of God" Romero. The canny Australian showed incredible heart in taking it to the Cuban Olympic silver medalist over five rounds, and even with a severe knee injury coming in the first he managed to outpoint his opponent to take the unanimous decision. Still rehabilitating his injured knee at the time of this writing, a unification bout between Whittaker and the new Middleweight champion Georges St. Pierre has been suggested as the headline bout for UFC 221, the promotion's first event from Perth, Western Australia in February 2018.


Men's Welterweight Champion - Tyron Woodley (17-3-1)
Woodley was promised a title shot against the Welterweight champion 17 months before the fight took place. After Robbie Lawler put in Fight Of The Year performances against Rory MacDonald in July 2015 and Carlos Condit in January 2016, Woodley went into their fight in July of 2016 as a significant underdog. This meant nothing, with Lawler going down to strikes in the first round. Woodley defended his belt against Stephen "Wonderboy" Thompson, putting on an incredible fight that ended in a majority draw at UFC 205 in New York in November 2016. A rematch for this fight was held in March month at UFC 209, with Woodley again the winner in a stilted affair. He defended the title again at UFC 214 in late July 2017 against Demian Maia, following a conservative but sharp gameplan that saw him stop all 22 of the Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu ace's takedown attempts. No future contender is announced at this stage.


Men's Lightweight Champion - Conor McGregor (21-3)
Easily beat Eddie Alvarez at UFC 205 in November, becoming the first ever UFC fighter to hold the belts in two divisions at the same time. Several fights are being talked up for Conor at the moment, including Nate Diaz for the LW belt, Khabib Nurmagomedov for the LW belt and even Tyron Woodley for the WW belt. Conor has also talked about taking some time off. The featherweight title was either stripped from Conor, or he relinquished it, following the injury to Daniel Cormier leaving UFC 206 without a title fight for the main event. Conor then took a ton of time off to go fight the biggest-money boxing match of all time, and is now looking for a piece of the promotion action before coming back to MMA. Extra-curricular activities that have landed him in various types of hot water have been the order of the day for McGregor at the moment.


Interim Lightweight Champion Tony Ferguson (26-3)
Tony rode an impressive 9-win/8 bonus award UFC streak to be booked against Khabib Murmagomedov at UFC 209. Unfortunately, Khalabeeb decided he would rather get into a losing fight against a plate of tiramisu and failed to make it to the match. A match against Kevin Lee was announced for UFC 216, with Lee nearly losing to tiramisu before the weigh-in. Ferguson used superior cardio and grappling and the fact he wasn't trying to overcome a staph infection to win by triangle choke late in the 3rd round. Logic dictates his next fight will be against Conor McGregor, but logic has nothing to do with what happens next with that Irishman.


Men's Featherweight Champion - Max Holloway (18-3)
Holloway put together a 9-fight win streak, with several Performance of the Night bonuses, before answering the call to contend for the Interim Featherweight Championship at UFC 206 in December 2016. Taking out Anthony Pettis with a body kick and punches late in the third round, he has set himself up for a unification bout against Jose Aldo at UFC 212. At that event in early June 2017, he defeated Aldo in the third round with focused ground and pound, and unified the belts. Frankie Edgar was announced as Holloway's first defense, with the match booked for UFC 218 in early December, but with Edgar out with a broken face, the rematch with Jose Aldo Jr is on.


Men's Bantamweight Champion - TJ Dillashaw (18-3)
When he was announced as the coach on The Ultimate Fighter: Redemption against then-champion Cody Garbrandt, the outcome was planned to be a fight between the two for Garbrandt's Bantamweight championship. While the fight between the two was originally announced for July 8 2017 at UFC 213, Garbrandt dropped out with a back injury during May, and it was re-booked for UFC 217 in November. Dillashaw started a slight underdog, but got the job done in the second round with a solid right hook and follow up ground and pound. With his second title reign starting, Dillashaw has no title defense currently scheduled.


Men's Flyweight Champion - Demetrious Johnson (27-2-1)
After winning the Flyweight Championship in September 2012 in a split decision against Joseph Benevidez, Johnson has amassed a 10-fight streak against the best that the division has had to offer. He has been so dominant that the UFC held an entire Ultimate Figher tournament to find his next challenger. The culmination of this was that Tim Elliott came back out of the MMA wilderness to lose a competitive match against Johnson in early December 2016. Johnson easily defended his title against Wilson Reis in April, tying the all-time title defense record held by Anderson Silva. His next was scheduled to take place at UFC 215, with Ray Borg the chosen recipient of a life-altering mauling, but Borg pulled out with an unspecified illness. This match was re-scheduled for UFC 216 on the 7th of October, which saw Johnson soundly beat Borg for four and a half rounds. The champion then casually threw his opponent over his shoulder and grabbed his arm on the way down for a submission win. With TJ Dillashaw now the Bantamweight champion, a superfight between the two for Johnson's Flyweight championship has been mooted.


Women's Featherweight Champion - Cristiana Justino (18–1 (1))
With the vacating of this championship by Germaine de Randamie in May 2017, a match was set up for UFC 214 between Justino and Megan Anderson. Anderson pulled out of the fight in late June, and was replaced by current Invicta FC Bantamweight Champion Tonya Evinger. The significantly larger fighter on the day, Justino dominated a one-sided affair and won the fight in the third round with brutal knee strikes. Justino is scheduled to defend her championship against Holly Holm at UFC 219 in December 2017.


Women's Bantamweight Champion - Amanda Nunes (14-4)
Nunes headlined UFC 200 in July of 2016, putting a vicious beating on Miesha Tate and securing a rear-nake choke victory in a little over three minutes. She backed this up with a brutal 48-second TKO victory against former Women's Bantamweight Champion and WMMA pioneer Rounda Rousey in late December 2016. Nunes was slated to take on Valentina Shevchenko in a rematch of their March 2016 fight, with that match being moved to UFC 215 last month. Nunes retained by a razor-thin split decision, and no future contender is announced at this stage.


Women's Flyweight Champion - Nicco Montaño (7-2)
After amassing a 5-0 record as an amateur, Nicco turned pro in late 2015. Going 3-2 before signing up to The Ultimate Fighter: A New World Champion, Nicco used her tenacity and solid striking game to garner three decision wins in a row on the reality show. Originally slated to face Sijara Eubanks at the TUF Finale, she ended up taking out a hard-fought decision victory over Goon favourite Roxanne Modaferri to become the first UFC Women's Flyweight champion. No defense is announced at this stage.


Women's Strawweight Champion - Rose Namajunas (10-3)
After cleaning out the Women's Strawweight division, Joanna Jędrzejczyk seemed to have no more mountains to conquer. After beating Michelle Waterson by rear-naked choke in April 2017, Namajunas was announced as the next contender for want of any other new challengers. In a massive upset, Namajunas beat Jędrzejczyk by TKO in the first round of their championship fight at UFC 217. No challenger is announced at this stage.

Other poo poo

Thanks very much to LobsterMobster for putting together the awards thread for last year:

2016 Rowdy Ringsports MMA Awards - RESULTS THREAD!.

Thanks also go to LobsterMobster for putting together both iterations of the UFC Fightpass Thread

UFC Fight Pass Playlists and Collections

The NEW UFC Fight Pass Collection Thread


Go to the MMA's Best and Worst of the Year, 2017 thread administered by Fentry to keep up with what has been considered by your fellow PSP-MMA posters as the best (and worst) of the UFC.

Shout out to DumbWhiteGuy for providing details for the MMA IRC channel.

irc.synirc.net #mma

Join your fellow MMA fans in discussing all things MMA in a place probably secure against nuclear armageddon - IRC has been around for so long I'm not convinced anything could kill it.

More thanks go out to Unfunny Poster for putting together a new UFC Fight Pass Thread - Earning Your 3rd Degree Blackbelt In MMA Posting. This thread is being updated approximately every week with information on new and upcoming additions to the streaming service, and is good for general banter about old fights. December's UFC Fight Pass Match of the Month is the Women's Bantamweight Championship match between Ronda Rousey vs. Holly Holm from UFC 193, where we finally saw what happened to Ronda when she fought someone who could actually strike.


As usual, let me know where I hosed something up, and you too could win the No-Prize!

Memento fucked around with this message at Dec 4, 2017 around 10:58

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Memento
Aug 25, 2009





First!

I mean, uh, lots of talk will be going on in this thread, the GDT for tomorrow's UFC 218.

Fat Twitter Man
Jan 24, 2007

Respect the Land



Memento posted:

First!

I mean, uh, lots of talk will be going on in this thread, the GDT for tomorrow's UFC 218.

You forgot to list Montaño with the champions

Memento
Aug 25, 2009





Fat Twitter Man posted:

You forgot to list Montaño with the champions

I was trying to avoid spoilers for people that were catching the replay.

Like me.

Lloyd Boner
Oct 11, 2009

Yes officer, my name is Victoria Sonnen...berg

Also missing Tony

Memento
Aug 25, 2009





gently caress, I am too. I'll sort that out, cheers.

Josuke Higashikata
Mar 7, 2013

No need to apologise when I am right, like usual.





You included Conor too

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


Dana said that GSP has rear end problems and won't be fighting for a while. There's no details so it could be the kind of severe rear end death disease that stalled John Hathaway's career or it could be transient rear end problems from bad food. One thing's for sure, MMA copy writers around the globe have googled colitis and will be speculating about GSP's rear end for 500 words each

Unfunny Poster
Apr 10, 2012





I think the TUF 26 winner and new Women's Flyweight Champion is both cool and good overall. Hopefully she doesn't end up like Carla Esparza and get destroyed in her first defense.

vaginal facsimile
Nov 11, 2013



Any good fights last night?

Gay Horney
Feb 9, 2013

I got so much love I don't know where to put it

The fighter caceres kicked over and over was literally named Wang Gone? Good poo poo lol

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

Bo Knows Posting



Josuke Higashikata posted:

You included Conor too

Lol

The stuff about Bobby Knuckles is outdated and refers to the upcoming GSP Bisping fight.

sportsgenius86
Jun 17, 2008

THE STREAK IS OVER


vaginal facsimile posted:

Any good fights last night?

It was actually a really entertaining card. Fast forward the DeAnna Bennett fight. Watch everything else.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011


Gay Horney posted:

The fighter caceres kicked over and over was literally named Wang Gone? Good poo poo lol

They should call him Wang Gong since he keeps getting his bellend rung

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'm Keven and I wouldn't do that. It'll KILL jobs.


...and I sure wouldn't do that.


Hey please use this photo of mighty mouse for the OP, Thank you.

Tyree
Sep 10, 2003

STRETCH

STRETCH

STRETCH


You can't fool me with a picture of woodley.

Acinonyx
Oct 21, 2005


Unfunny Poster posted:

I think the TUF 26 winner and new Women's Flyweight Champion is both cool and good overall. Hopefully she doesn't end up like Carla Esparza and get destroyed in her first defense.

I assume 125 is going to see an influx of killers from 115 and 135. I can't imagine her holding the title very long at all.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


Women's 125 is going to see an influx of killers requesting their apartment wrestling hourly rates in Instagram comments

willie_dee
Jun 21, 2010


Triticum Guzzler posted:

Women's 125 is going to see an influx of killers requesting their apartment wrestling hourly rates in Instagram comments

I know a girl that does this, she makes mad amounts of money triangling dudes over and over.

Bluedeanie
Jul 20, 2008

It's no longer a blue world, Max. Where could we go?



willie_dee posted:

I know a girl that does this, she makes mad amounts of money triangling dudes over and over.

I'm all for different expressions of gender identity and try not to kinkshame but I don't think JT in a wig counts as a "girl" and I don't think just you counts as multiple dudes

Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

plz control u toxic hatsculinity



the coward GSP now faking an entire disorder to duck Bobby Knuckles

quote:

I now understand the health issues that I had during my last training camp... I hoped my condition would improve after the fight but unfortunately it got worse and I had to go straight to the hospital for a colonoscopy when I came back from vacation last Wednesday. The diagnosis is ulcerative colitis and I am now taking medication that will hopefully appease the symptoms. My health is my #1 priority right now, I’m still a very happy man, thanks for your support!!!

CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

*~ayoo comin thru~*


Soothing Vapors posted:

the coward GSP now faking an entire disorder to duck Bobby Knuckles

Is that the same poop disease Lesnar had.

El Roncho
Oct 15, 2006

"A man who speaks out of both sides of his mouth deserves to have it permanently shut."



CRISPYBABY posted:

Is that the same poop disease Lesnar had.

Nah that was diverticulitis.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


yeah GSP's never fighting again and I hope for his sake he was a top

mewse
May 2, 2006





Triticum Guzzler posted:

yeah GSP's never fighting again and I hope for his sake he was a top

The inside of his rear end being torn up suggests otherwise

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


It's the classic depressing comeback story we see again and again. The old vet comes back for one last shot at glory, beats Michael Bisping, then immediately becomes incurably ill with a making GBS threads disease

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Anybody remotely interesting is mad in some way or another.


Anderson Silva gets a bad dick and can't fight, GSP gets a bad butthole and still wins the title

JaySB
Nov 16, 2006





mewse posted:

The inside of his rear end being torn up suggests otherwise

Apparently you've never heard of a power bottom.

mewse
May 2, 2006





JaySB posted:

Apparently you've never heard of a power bottom.

You are not going to trick me into googling that

Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed

With these most recent developments I wonder if Josh Koscheck would still be interested in motorboating his rear end.

Mr. Nice!
Oct 13, 2005



mewse posted:

You are not going to trick me into googling that

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc9_mxvP1K0

Captain Log
Oct 2, 2006

I don't promote fights, I pick fights. I'm better than Jon Jones. I'm better than Sean Combs. I am even better than John Holmes.



Fun Shoe

Is Roxy actually the tiny lady from Blacklist? She’s like a 85 year old in their thirties.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011


i hev an ailment of the rear end whole

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005



Years of steroid abuse catching up

El Roncho
Oct 15, 2006

"A man who speaks out of both sides of his mouth deserves to have it permanently shut."



Yeah whatever GSP. Blow it out your rear end.

Work Friend Keven
Oct 24, 2015

I'm Keven and I wouldn't do that. It'll KILL jobs.


...and I sure wouldn't do that.


GSP could cheat the testing but in the end he couldn’t cheat his body. I hope his death from HGH induced organ enlargement is a lesson to the sport and other fighters.

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005



aids is hardly a death sentence these days lol

Unfunny Poster
Apr 10, 2012





Acinonyx posted:

I assume 125 is going to see an influx of killers from 115 and 135. I can't imagine her holding the title very long at all.

Yeah, which is totally expected and good. I just want to see Nico hold it for longer than 1 defense.

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Rap terrorist, terrorise, tear it up
Brought gas and the matches to flare it up
Militant Michael might go psycho
On any ally or rival
Born Black, that's dead on arrival
My job is to fight for survival
In spite of these #AllLivesMatter-ass white folk


Skip My Posts posted:

aids is hardly a death sentence these days lol

i think its hiv thats hardly the death setence, aids will still gently caress you up

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Unfunny Poster
Apr 10, 2012





Torres has only lost to Thug Rose right?

Could be valid as a contender if she gets another win or two.

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