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The Geopolitical Simulator series is the world's most realistic simulator of geopolitical. It is a simulator. It simulates the geopolitics. I did a thread on one of the previous games years ago; you might need archives to read it but it is here. This time I'm using POWER & REVOLUTION GEOPOLITICAL SIMULATOR 4, which is the current release and adds various bugfixes, modern politicians and party lineups (in theory), and the ability to play as opposition parties or terrorists. Also it crashes a lot and costs fifty US dollars. There's a lot of stuff you can try to accomplish in this game. For example, in the last thread Texas gained independence and President OHAMA nuked it into submission. This time, we'll try something else. It's time for JEB! to have his day.  Part 1: The Fall Part 2: Into The Wilderness Part 3: The Six Hour War Part 4: Sic Semper Tyrannis Part 5: Colony Collapse Disorder Other people made these but they're great:   
corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 00:06 on Dec 8, 2017 |
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Dec 3, 2017 21:46
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 19:18 |
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The Apotheosis of JEB!, Part 1: The Fall Power & Revolution has a few options for starting the game. The main sandbox mode begins in January of 2016, and continues until your character dies or your country is conquered. There is a specialized scenario for just doing the United States election, but that begins in September and doesn't allow for a whole lot of campaign stuff, so we'll be doing the regular start with our hero, JEB! Bush. Now, a lot of things contributed to JEB! not winning the primary. We're going to address a couple of them immediately. First of all, JEB! had a lot of trouble connecting with young voters. I think I've fixed that quite handily:  This new, cooler JEB! will definitely be able to swing the youth vote in the upcoming elections. And the GOP has assigned the very skilled Daniel Buckkinkins to help the campaign, so all is well.  The GOP has decided to cancel its primaries and select JEB! directly, which is certainly helpful and realistic. The Democratic primary is of course well under-way, with frontrunner Hilda Tilton campaigning against Tim Baden, Tamara Lind, and also Jack Ohama who is running for reelection thanks to the suprise passage of a law allowing unlimited reelections for the American President. Normally the GOP would oppose such a bill, but JEB! saw that it might benefit him in future and so campaigned for its passage. Ohama will be a tough opponent for Tilton, who did not expect that the Constitution could be altered overnight by a simple majority vote in Congress! Anyway, JEB! is now in control of the party's platform and fundraising, though he can't force Congress to do what he wants. He is also at a disadvantage because his approval rating is 48% and Jack Ohama's is 50%.  JEB! gets right to work shoring up his party's chances in the new election. He contacts billionaires to ask for money, adding millions to the party's coffers. He criticizes Ohama on his failure to fight Satanism in the United States, while also meeting with the Church of Satan to win their support in the coming election. JEB!'s strange pro/anti-sect policy is confusing, but will surely pay off later in the polls. Thanks to the support of America's richest man, JEB! is able to hire a personal army of paramilitary extremists which will help him campaign in the following months.  Also, he goes to a videogame convention. Kids love videogames and JEB! really needs that youth vote. He is very cool and relatable!   You should always read the papers if you play one of these games. Sure, it has stuff related to your governance, but also lots of weird procedurally-generated fluff pieces. For example, the President of Uzbekistan hosed his wife in space!  Things proceed normally, for the most part. The Republican Alliance controls Congress, but of course Congress does not propose bills in America. That would be silly. Instead, the President proposes all bills, and can unilaterally change the budget at will without consulting them. So while Ohama is busy fixing the country and stopping global warming, the Republican Alliance is powerless to stop him or protest against his changes! The game allows you to call for protests against specific legislation, or for a general protest, but budget changes don't qualify for the former and our running mate, Ronald Drump, refuses to agree to the latter. Thus, JEB! remains at 48% popularity as Ohama slowly becomes one of the most popular presidents of all time. That is, until Jack Ohama proposes a law at last:  JEB! immediate calls for nation-wide protests, calling in unions, the association for family values, the homosexual advocacy group, the catholic church, and so on. While the Catholic church does not feel like protesting a pollution bill, everybody else is OK with it and America is plunged into a nation-wide strike with mass sit-ins in the capitol. However, apart from the actual Republican sit-in, all of these strikes last less than a day and I couldn't even capture them before they were gone. So there's that. But it doesn't matter, because the Republicans have an issue to fight against at last! The law is defeated, because the Republicans control Congress, but then for no reason two hundred thousand union workers begin a general strike across the United States to protest the law that has already been defeated.  This is helpful because usually protest movements end when they accomplish their goals. This protest can never accomplish its goal, because it has already been accomplished, so it will continue until such time as the President is replaced or the election happens, constantly draining his popularity as a result. Excellent! Meanwhile, the sit-in in Washington (also to protest a law that doesn't exist) has escalated. Daniel Buckkikins tells JEB! the news:  This gives us an opportunity to try something that's new in this release of the game, which is direct control within a city. Previously, things just sort of happened based on numbers, but now we can look at DC and see where our protesters are, and where the barricades are set up. We can also order new ones built, and so on.  The Republican forces have occupied the main square in front of Parliament (the game calls it that, ok?) and is marching on People's Square, which is definitely a real place in D.C. that exists and can be occupied. Meanwhile, JEB! Bush's private army marches on the Federal Reserve, because he needs to be cool for the kids and the kids love criminals. He's heard that they love the "rap music" and all that.    NEXT TIME: JEB! runs a terrorist organization. Please clap! corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 21:51 on Dec 4, 2017 |
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Dec 3, 2017 21:48
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This game is always magical.
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Dec 3, 2017 22:00
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Agean90 fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Dec 3, 2017 |
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Dec 3, 2017 22:10
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YES
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Dec 3, 2017 22:14
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lol
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Dec 3, 2017 22:17
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Click on a thread out of curiosity and find out a guy named JEB! has armed militia marching on the federal reserve in the first update. I have no real context for what's going on, but go JEB! go?
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Dec 3, 2017 22:22
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Quick, we need to secure ties with Putin to get those Twitter bots onside
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Dec 3, 2017 22:23
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 I have no idea what the gently caress this is, but I'm already interested.
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Dec 3, 2017 22:37
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I thought JEB! (please clap) was the leader of Antifa these days?
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Dec 3, 2017 22:52
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Kaboom Dragoon posted:I thought JEB! (please clap) was the leader of Antifa these days? He pretty clearly is.
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Dec 3, 2017 22:55
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On one side, there are games like President Forever, which try to be grounded, realistic simulations of elections. On another side, there are games like The Political Machine, which simplify things and wrap it in a cartoony exterior, but are still somewhat grounded by having a fixed framework that lays down the rules clearly. And on a third side, there is Geopolitical Simulator, which just throws everything out the window and goes as balls to the wall insane as it can. The sky's the limit for JEB!
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Dec 3, 2017 23:38
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extremely normal game
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Dec 4, 2017 00:09
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Can I not vote for JEB!? I won't want to vote for JEB!.
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Dec 4, 2017 00:11
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Conservative crime squad?
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Dec 4, 2017 00:28
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How much money is this utter garbage game 
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Dec 4, 2017 01:39
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Aesculus posted:How much money is this utter garbage game 49.99 on Steam not counting DLCs. Those will add another 43 bucks. 
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Dec 4, 2017 01:53
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Made by the French. I see...
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Dec 4, 2017 01:55
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I have no idea what the hell's going on but the first update already had me laughing this hard so I'll follow this. Seems like it'll be one hell of a political(?) experience.
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Dec 4, 2017 01:56
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This is beautiful. Also I like how on the map the middle east and what looks like the southern half of Europe is just routinely exploding.
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Dec 4, 2017 02:01
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I uh, I did not expect the end of that post when I saw the start of the post. I want to see where this goes. E: I love that your loving secretary is immediately prepped to go live in a loving storm drain when you pillaged the federal reserve.
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Dec 4, 2017 02:19
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So is the game not labeling you as a terror group until after robbing a bank commentary on the ties between the US political system and capitalism or just the game being whatever it is? Either way this looks magical 
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Dec 4, 2017 04:28
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Grizzwold posted:So is the game not labeling you as a terror group until after robbing a bank commentary on the ties between the US political system and capitalism or just the game being whatever it is? I'd say it's the latter and the former is just a hilarious coincidence. This game doesn't seem like it has the...subtlety needed for the former given what we just saw.
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Dec 4, 2017 05:27
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guessing the J in JC Denton stands for Jeb. Ill take the JEB! gun.
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Dec 4, 2017 06:09
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Oh my this is a delight for the senses.
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Dec 4, 2017 06:27
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Can we export our brand of radical terrorism to the Middle East where all the cool kids are?
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Dec 4, 2017 06:51
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We should just skip terrorism and form the cult of JEB! You CAN do that in this game, right? If not, then clearly it is still flawed.
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Dec 4, 2017 06:55
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When I clicked this thread I had no idea what wonders i'd experience.
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Dec 4, 2017 08:11
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Jeb!
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Dec 4, 2017 10:54
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The Apotheosis of JEB!, Part 2: Into The Wilderness So, yes, things got a little out of hand. JEB! Bush looted the Federal Reserve, and while this almost doubled his campaign war-chest, it unfortunately had the effect of making that a literal war-chest. Technically, even when playing as a regular political party, you can ask the party leadership to convert into an illegal organization and start building your insurrection. However, they'll only agree if the country has such severe restrictions that an election will never happen, or if your party is essentially just a couple people with no power. If JEB! had asked to become a terrorist, then he would have been summarily replaced and it'd be GAME OVER. However, because he took the initiative and broke the law himself, the party has been outlawed and everyone associated with it is now on the run from the law. On the other hand, it seems to have finally made JEB! cool:  Please note that JEB!'s approval rating here is higher than the real life Jeb's approval was during the entire course of the election. Hilda Tilton chimes in on the events:  However, she also has drawn some criticism, including from President Ohama who, I remind you, is also running for reelection.  Congress is now controlled entirely by the Democrats, though somehow SPEAKER BROZ and SENATOR MCDONNELL remain in their positions, stripped of party affiliation. I'm not sure how that works, but as they remain close friends of JEB! he can still influence events in Congress in a limited way, by asking them to support or vote against certain laws. JEB! also loots the Smithsonian, and with a budget of $200m the USPF is a well-funded terrorism machine. But enough about that. Let's talk about how playing as an insurgent works. Obviously, we can't spend money on surveys or polling anymore, but we can spend it on other things. We can directly hire mercenaries, but it's expensive and limited. Instead, JEB! elects to invest in recruitment campaigns and security.  The problem, unfortunately, is that while we can now buy rocket-launchers and mercenaries and so on, our people on the ground in Washington are mostly armed with picket signs and the occasional AK-47 from JEB!'s private stash. They put up a valiant effort, however, and assault Parliament while building barricades to prevent a police response.  In the meantime, the USPF plans to march openly in cities across the country, because apparently that's cool and mass murderers can just, like, have a parade and it's fine, everything is fine. JEB!'s running mate has concerns about this, but ultimately agrees.  Also, because I had put in a bunch of requests for party funding before the Event, we do occasionally get donations in from supporters as well.  Things look great until the United States government sends in tanks and blows everyone all to hell. We have to pull out of Washington in order to save the movement. Everyone retires to Trump Tower to regroup and plan their next move. Fortunately, JEB! and the forces of business do not face the world alone. We can request help from other people, including foreign powers, religious sects, and other terrorist organizations.  JEB! doesn't have contact information yet to ask for help from Russia or ISIS or whatever, but through building an international network he can eventually get some real support for his movement. Also supporting the USPF are several unions, the Homosexual Community, and the National Hunting Bureau. Thanks! Time passes. JEB! moves from begging for funds from Cuban revolutionaries to being funded directly by Russia's leader, SLOUTINE. Also, this:  By march, the USPF has turned from a political party into a well-oiled machine of terror armed with Russian rocket launchers and Cuban guns. It's time to take Washington again, but for real.   Immediately, as you can see, the situation is better than last time. Each of the little gun symbols there represents about five thousand armed insurgents and there are more waiting in the hideouts ready to deploy if needed. Also, since this is somehow a surprise attack, the American military presence in its capital is mostly still inside the local military base, which apparently is a fort within walking distance of Congress? I guess? And it is protected by exactly four tanks at all times. Anyway, you can't see a lot of soldiers about because they're indoors and as-yet unaware, which gives us a good opportunity. JEB! gives the order to fire.   Washington has fallen. Ohama's popularity is at 0%. However, the game won't actually switch over control of the city to me or let me call for elections or anything like that, because I guess I missed the popup asking to do that and it won't show up a second time. Thus, JEB!'s total control of the nation's capitol actually does nothing at all for him or his movement. For the Democrats, things are a little worse. Ohama resigns and is replaced by Tim Baden.  Two days later, Tim Baden resigns and is replaced by Dick Buckkinkin (no relation).  Two days after that Dick Buckkinkin resigned as well, but I didn't even notice it because people kept resigning as President too quickly for me to do anything about it, and the game seemed to just give up because it stopped being mentioned in pop-ups or the papers. After a while, the president became a bland-faced man with no name at all and a stable 4% approval rating.  Who was he? What was his party affiliation? I don't know. If I tried to click on him and find this out the game crashed. He was a false president, the result of the game going down the list until the list ran out of Democratic characters who could be president and yet had not already been president. It seemed like JEB!'s career was at an impasse. The game wouldn't let me seize power, or even call for new elections. Money was low, too, though I soon realized that I could get an infinite amount of money by letting America retake the federal reserve; they would immediately fill it with cash for JEB! to seize when he immediately took it over again. But, suddenly, this weird pop-up started happening whenever I tried to move my troops around Washington:  I was confused at first, until I realized that somehow the Secretary of Defense had defected and become a member of the JEB! Army, while maintaining his position within the cabinet. I don't know how that happened, but he wouldn't let me shoot anyone because Washington sort of technically belonged to me, I couldn't loot it anymore. If he wanted to become president, JEB! had to go to war.  NEXT TIME: JEB! invades America. Please clap! corn in the bible fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Dec 4, 2017 |
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Dec 4, 2017 21:50
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What the gently caress is happening? 
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Dec 4, 2017 22:01
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It's time. Time to eat the Democrats.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:05
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Rarity posted:What the gently caress is happening? gently caress YOU BALTIMORE. Also i think that military base is... supposed to be the pentagon? And it's using fallout 3 geography where it's just a hop over the river from the capitol building. E: yeah it's the pentagon.  Just the distances are a bit weird. So yeah you just fired a rocket launcher at the pentagon and blew it up, and thus you conquered the United States of America. The pentagon is basically the glowing weak spot of America. OwlFancier fucked around with this message at 22:12 on Dec 4, 2017 |
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Dec 4, 2017 22:09
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OwlFancier posted:gently caress YOU BALTIMORE. No, it definitely is not the pentagon. I realize that it looks like the Pentagon, and like you I assumed so at first, but the Pentagon is actually separate from Washington and has its own location on the global map. It remains in the hands of the government.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:13
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Huh. Ok. So it's where the Pentagon is supposed to be on the DC map more or less, and it is a pentagon, but it's not the pentagon. Alright then.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:14
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Pentagon Lite.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:15
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This is just the greatest thing.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:21
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It's the secret facility where they store polling data. When it was blown up Ohama couldn't get any numbers and assumed that meant people didn't like him any more.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:22
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I don't know what the gently caress I expected this thread to be when I clicked on it. I sure didn't expect it to be this slice of magic
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Dec 4, 2017 22:25
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 19:18 |
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This got even weirder than the first update promised. Thanks Ohama.
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Dec 4, 2017 22:28
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