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i'm a gay and that's okay. visibility is important and a political act. come out come out wherever you are.
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Dec 6, 2017 02:35
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Dongslayer. posted:whats it called when you beat it to your gender about a fifth of the time i would name us all the children of alan and sophie. for some people their identity and desires are a bright and shining beacon burning through the night, there is no path but the one for other people it is a foghorn on a misty october morning you hear it in the distance, its sound carrying over the hills i wish we had ten thousand words for love like the eskimos supposedly had ten thousand words for snow it was politically expedient for the community to insist that human sexuality was much more the former than the latter. this was the only way that we could explain to society at large that our lives had meaning and value and didn't just need to be jesused. i think that we've gotten to a space now where we can acknowledge that desire for a lot of people is a much more slippery and intermittent and changeable thing. there are way way more young people who identify as queer these days than as gay or lesbian.
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Dec 6, 2017 02:45
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KOTEX GOD OF BLOOD posted:unfortunately its not that easy for a lot of people under their circumstances which is why it is incumbent upon us who do have that privlidge to be loud and obnoxious about it, even now.
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Dec 6, 2017 02:49
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Janitor Prime posted:that makes sense, I always thought that it was some sort of self obsession the personal is the political! the heteropatriarchy isn't going to crush itself.
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Dec 6, 2017 15:33
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cis autodrag posted:Agree. Also back when I lived in Madison I'd have hillbillies follow me to the bathroom in target. Now they I'm in a more techish area they content themselves with just giving me mean looks in the aisles. we like to stereotype all the assholes and facists as hillbillies, because we have the liberal fallacy that education leads to leftist ideals. one glance at the hn's of the world will reveal that there are just as many nice polite educated people who would cheer marching us all off to the death camps.
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Dec 6, 2017 19:52
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cis autodrag posted:Worse than that, not all strains of leftism are compatible with queer identities. There's plenty of tankies and strict Marxists out there who see being gay or trans as a silly diversion of the unoccupied bourgeoisie mind. let's all exhibit decadent bourgeois behavior by not blowin'' heavy loads in vaginas, tóngzhì.
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Dec 6, 2017 20:02
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cis autodrag posted:I mean, I'm a commie, but more of the star trek utopian kind rather than the maoist third worldist kind. I will worry about the factions on the left that are not down with the queers when they can do anything more than post screeds on the internet or make a food not bombs meeting somewhat uncomfortable.
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Dec 6, 2017 22:43
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Ciaphas posted:i know what the "ia" in lgbtqia+ stand for, but beyond the strict english definition what do those actually mean? honestly the letters have gone through a couple of evolutions over time. i remember when q was questioning. all the gender and sex criminals have a place at the table. intersex people are people with sexual or reproductive anatomy that doesn't fit into an easily defined category. for example, people with various degrees of androgen insensitivity might have XY chromosomes, but have a somewhat to mostly female body because their body doesn't respond to androgens in a normal way. 'cause the birth certificate needs an M or an F in it for society not to lose it's mind, even if the genitals or genetics are ambiguous (or not known! sometimes genetic weirdness doesn't hit until puberty) intersex people face a host of challenges which are adjacent to but not quite the same as a trans community. A these days usually means asexual, which is a fairly new thing, and asexual people have come forth to educate the world about their identity. for most people who identify as asexual, it means a lack of sexual attraction to other people or some people use it to mean a lack of identification with a particular gender. A in older texts is going to refer to ally, tho.
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Dec 7, 2017 01:02
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Improbable Lobster posted:i;ve been talking on and off to a couple dudes on tinder recently the apps are a technology have totally changed everything about how gay folk interact and it is something that we're probably not going to fully appreciate the impact of for a long time, because we're living in it. there are a lot of hookup apps that cater to different interests. as a gay dude if I am looking for manly company on a site that is mixed gender I am mostly going to pull various flavors of bisexual guys who fit into one of three categories: 1) please help with my weirdo cuck thing with my wife | please help me with this weirdo fetish thing that is perfectly seamless and has no entry point for you or your interests. 2) please help me with my journey of discovery of maybe touching a cock for the first time at the age of 37. 3) closeted married (to a lady) gay dudes.
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Dec 7, 2017 14:12
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Improbable Lobster posted:holy moly the number of men that are weirdos is staggering fixed it there are so many men out there who are want homosexual sex but are not particularly interested in homosociality unfortunately there isn't anything that can be done about it other than block and move on.
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Dec 7, 2017 14:30
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Silver Alicorn posted:what do you call someone who is specifically into trans gender ppl to the exclusion of cisgender? a dickgirl porn haver
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Dec 7, 2017 19:59
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ate all the Oreos posted:the insane guy who keeps sending my wife mail bombs i can't speak to transpeople chasers, but I so have some experience with other brands. a small fraction of them are respectful nice people who you just happen to have the body that really turns their crank. these are rare and precious and being treated like a human being and also extremely desirable is awesome. others are creepy obsessives who can sometimes put up a screen of normality but then message you at 3am about the things they fetishize. gross but probably harmless. still others are self loathing and resentful that you turn them on. these ones are creepy and dangerous.
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Dec 8, 2017 01:36
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Raere posted:Just wanted to say that hookup apps aren't all bad. I met my boyfriend of one year so far on Scruff. If you're not having luck on Okcupid or w/e at least check em out! Whole lot of cool people out there that don't have the time to fill out a whole dating profile. one husbando came from something awful dot com. the other one came from scruff.
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Dec 8, 2017 01:42
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just address everyone as your majesty
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Dec 9, 2017 10:18
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cis autodrag posted:PS Hillary Clinton is the person who moved US passports to the letter from a doctor standard while she was secretary of state. What we could have had while i am certain it would be a better universe where we didn't have orange 45 in office, hrc and obama did not come out in support of gay marriage until 12/13, when the opinion polls finally ticked over to 51% and it became politically obvious that this is the way that things were going to go now.
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Dec 13, 2017 05:08
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RISCy Business posted:i'm single and not ready to mingle because i have horrible social anxiety, trouble dating outside of people i know and their friends, and also my last relationship ended very badly it's okay not to date, gently caress, or be in a relationship.
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Dec 18, 2017 18:07
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here is an interesting installment of the working podcast interviewing dr. jess ting, who is a performer of gender reassignment surgeries. http://www.slate.com/articles/podcasts/working/2017/12/how_does_gender_reassignment_surgeon_jess_ting_work.html
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Dec 20, 2017 20:40
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do you like them? i made them myself.
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Dec 28, 2017 14:26
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Sagebrush posted:do you regularly measure the volume of your piss? someone hasn't been bag catheterized regularly!
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Dec 29, 2017 21:30
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the reason why the HRC dipshits controlled the discourse is because the left queers died of hiv. all we had left were the picket fence types who spent their entire lives convincing the straight people in their subdivision that they were just like the other straight people, just with some sexual habits that would never ever be mentioned.
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Jan 8, 2018 01:36
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Progressive JPEG posted:picket fence straights arent exactly the sort to go around mentioning their sexual habits either tho cause it's baked into the culture, they don't need to. if queers hold hands in public chastely it's a direct challenge.
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Jan 13, 2018 16:09
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fishmech posted:generally if you are asking this you have it plenty of people feel dysphoric about their bodies. like every bodybuilder i've ever known ever.
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Jan 16, 2018 20:16
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Sagebrush posted:Bodybuilding should be in the DSM-5 alongside anorexia nervosa etc. as one of the body dysphoric disorders, yes it hurts me to see, because it doesn't seem to come from a place of joy and glory in the body, but instead a deep sadness and worthlessness. otoh, people should be able to mod their body however they want~
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Jan 16, 2018 20:29
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Improbable Lobster posted:got another date tomorrow. this time at the aquarium https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddBt5p-Uqew
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Jan 16, 2018 20:35
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ate all the Oreos posted:i remember having this discussion with a bodybuilder guy i was acquaintances with and he just could not even conceptualize how i could not really want to constantly perfect my body and make it the absolute most optimally powerful thing it could be, it was a real interesting chat it's mostly answerable with terror management theory, but most things in life are.
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Jan 16, 2018 20:49
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ate all the Oreos posted:our local aquarium has this geodesic dome section that's made up to be a natural habitat for birds and other creatures that live in wetlands, and you can just walk through and check out all the cool birds and the birds aren't caged up or anything and are used to people so they'll just sit there preening or squawking or honking and you can take pictures next to them this is a lot of fun to go into: https://www.stlzoo.org/visit/thingstoseeanddo/historichill/1904flightcage/
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Jan 16, 2018 20:51
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Ciaphas posted:as far as physicality or emotion goes, i can only respond to the question with sheer ambivalence crossing gender expectation in appearance or adornment or clothing or attitude is fun and I think everyone who wants to should give it a spin. i like wearing nail polish when i'm playing cards because it looks cool, for example.
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Jan 16, 2018 22:14
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Shifty Pony posted:nothing compares to the feeling of freshly washed sheets and freshly shaved legs. everyone should have that experience once in life. being that I didn't win (lose) the body hair lottery, the contrast between rubbing legs with another fellow smoothy and fuzzy fellah is delightful. everyone should have the pleasure.
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Jan 17, 2018 04:58
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Ciaphas posted:i feel like a jerk for thinking of it in those terms--that women and especially transwomen get the goddamn shaft in my social circles and that therefore for sake of my own happiness i should not pursue this line of questioning--but there you go, soul bared i guess it's okay to put yourself first.
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Jan 17, 2018 04:59
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Helianthus Annuus posted:i was hoping some trans women here could talk a little about it, because it blew my mind as a cis dude that i could be impaired in this way and not even know it Yeah no, being able to express emotions is not some biological essentialist thing, it's that men are programmed by society to only be able to express their emotions within a narrow band, or they get punished for the transgression.
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Jan 17, 2018 05:39
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Helianthus Annuus posted:but since we're talking about science (and not anecdotal, subjective accounts) then we have to talk in terms of behavior. let's put on the brakes there and note that the only way you're going to get behavior statistics out of people is through anecdotal subjective accounts. there is no magic feelings measuring machine (fMRIs don't count, the N on those studies is like 20) and any experiment where we do control group testing on humans to see if the hormones make you a feeling-toucher would be wildly unethical.
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Jan 17, 2018 18:39
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Krakox posted:I realize this isn't really queer talk as much as it is 'holy poo poo i've been quietly murdering myself for the past three months' talk, but I think I'm getting better just writing this out! if you're a queer person, it's queer talk. by the authority vested in me by the bureau of homosexuals & gender weirdness, i'm stamping your queer application as approved. congratulations and welcome to the family. you are loved and worthy of love. you will be receiving your membership card in the mail in three to four weeks.
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Jan 18, 2018 15:13
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cis autodrag posted:manhunting human being some queer people are indeed manhunting faggots and proud of it.
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Jan 21, 2018 22:58
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cis autodrag posted:Yes but trans women who like men aren't gay so it's a double slur when applied to them. maybe you shouldn't be tossing out that particular slur with such relish if you are not a member of that category, then.
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Jan 21, 2018 23:07
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cis autodrag posted:Was it not clear I was satirically speaking from the viewpoint of people who call trans women traps? it's not your word.
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Jan 21, 2018 23:25
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TheManFromFOXHOUND posted:both i guess. i've run into a lot of supposed lgbt spaces where people claimed that bi people don't exist and i also sometimes feel like it doesn't matter that i am bi because to the outside world i look exactly like a straight guy. coming out is a continuous process. i mean I'm pretty fruity, but i still have to come out to people when they mistake me for heterosexual. i mean i get "brothers?" when i'm out with my family because that's the schema people have for three dudes going grocery shopping and not keeping 15 feet between them at all times.
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Jan 23, 2018 05:25
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ate all the Oreos posted:bi erasure is real hosed up yo. are we talkin' internet spaces or real life? bi people definitely exist, there's like 8 of them in this thread (including me) bi people definitely outnumber (i think the numbers bandied about lately are 3-4x) the purely homo oriented, and not just in this thread.
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Jan 23, 2018 05:31
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cis autodrag posted:Do you get asked if you're splitting the check every time you go out for dinner too? That poo poo drives me crazy. Waiter will watch you hold hands and still ask like they need to let you know you're violating their norms. oh every single time. it doesn't really bother me though, i just assume that it's easier to smash the split check button as early as possible in the POS process. i handle the money 90% of the time, so it is a little funny when someone makes a comment about how nice i am to take my buddies out.
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Jan 23, 2018 05:37
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cis autodrag posted:I'm not sure about that, because in the 8 years of my relationship before I transitioned we were never asked once about check splitting and it immediately started happening every time once I presented female maybe i'm just giving myself a charitable explanation of other's behavior to keep from noticing. 
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Jan 23, 2018 06:29
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Sagebrush posted:the kinsey scale is probably discredited somehow by now but i'd bet that there are more people who would score between 1 and 5 than people at 0 or 6, yes once i learned that for a lot lot lot lot of guys homosexual desire is decoupled from homoromantic desire everything became so much clearer.
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Jan 23, 2018 06:36
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