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Crusty Nutsack
Apr 21, 2005



Submitting puppy chow

It's for humans I promise

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Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



Hirayuki posted:

Same here, but then they should send them over to deliver me from my no-carb sadness.
Actually, I should probably hold out for the real thing and not settle for what a goon thinks it may be.

Spoilering for anyone who doesn't already know what university potatoes (or "book-learnin' taters," if you will): Sweet potatoes and their ilk aren't THAT bad, carb-wise, especially if you've been doing low- or no-carb for a long time.

Ranter
Jul 11, 2004



Fleta Mcgurn posted:

Spoilering for anyone who doesn't already know what university potatoes (or "book-learnin' taters," if you will): Sweet potatoes and their ilk aren't THAT bad, carb-wise, especially if you've been doing low- or no-carb for a long time.

133 grams of sweet potatoe is 27g net carbs according to google auto results. That + other daily intake of carbs could kick one out of ketosis. I wouldn't call that 'aren't that bad' but what do I know :P

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



Ranter posted:

133 grams of sweet potatoe is 27g net carbs according to google auto results. That + other daily intake of carbs could kick one out of ketosis. I wouldn't call that 'aren't that bad' but what do I know :P

You don't know how to spell potato! Everyone's physiology is different, and when you've been in ketosis for a long time, your body processes good carbs more efficiently. That is not enough starch to knock me out of ketosis, personally, although it likely would be for someone else. It's certainly not the best choice for going low-carb, but many of the keto people I know do eat sweet potatoes occasionally.

e: I meant that first sentence in a joking manner and I hope it came across as such.

Fleta Mcgurn fucked around with this message at Dec 14, 2017 around 06:35

Hirayuki
Mar 28, 2010


I just started in early November and am making next to zero progress, so no potatoes, university or otherwise, for this goon.

As for a food challenge, might I suggest angel wings?

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I have made a chess pie. Of sorts. I will try to get a post up tonight documenting the... experience. It didn't go entirely to plan.

ToxicFrog
Apr 26, 2008



How about Devils on Horseback?

legendof posted:

I have made a chess pie. Of sorts. I will try to get a post up tonight documenting the... experience. It didn't go entirely to plan.

I've made chess pie before, it was delicious. Can't wait to see what you did

Tendales
Mar 9, 2012


The only weird local food name I can think of here in Oregon is Jojos.

Scarodactyl
Oct 22, 2015



Tendales posted:

The only weird local food name I can think of here in Oregon is Jojos.
Ooh, I bet it involves some huge beefcakes.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I have no idea what makes a pie chess related except for looking like a chessboard, so I'm going to go with that. This is easy to do with cake, but it's not quite as apparent how to do this with pie, largely because there aren't a lot of pie fillings that hold their shape well enough to maintain the pattern, much less ones that come in a dark and a light shade with roughly the same consistency. The closest thing I could come up with was vanilla and chocolate custard.

But then I was a little too lazy to make two separate custards, so I used instant pudding. I'm about to do horrible things to it, so I didn't figure it would matter much. I divided a cake tin that fits inside my pie pan with a strip of cardboard that I taped in place, lined both sides with cling wrap, and dumped my puddings in.



Then I froze them overnight, because I need them solid enough that I can cut them into squares. This is not a normal way to prepare pudding, but I wasn't really ever hoping this would TASTE good, and anyway I'm not sure how much you can ruin instant pudding.

This worked great, actually - I had to dunk the cake tin in hot water briefly to get the pudding-demicircles out, but I cut them into matching checkerboard halves without issue.



Meanwhile, I have made a pie crust (from scratch, because I have my pride with regards to pastry, although apparently not anywhere else) and have put it in the oven to blind bake. I'm not planning on baking this once I get the pudding in, so I want my crust precooked.



While that's baking I line my cake tin with cling wrap again and carefully squeeze my pudding squares in. This is a cold and slightly messy process.



This is the high point of this project. This looks pretty good, all things considered.

Here I have to decide how to get my pudding into my pie crust, which is fresh out of the oven. What I probably should have done was to stick the chessboard-pudding back into the freezer, since the pudding has begun thawing around the edges. But I had people coming over soon, and I was harboring a bit of a hope that I'd be able to serve (non-frozen) pudding pie sometime before tomorrow morning. So I just cooled my pie crust for a few minutes, then inverted the puddingboard over it.

This went... poorly. The bottom had thawed more than the top and the pattern wasn't quite as clear down there to begin with.



So I say gently caress it, I'm just going to microwave this monstrosity and we'll have a laugh and eat it. After about seven minutes of microwaving, it looks like this:



Apparently vanilla and chocolate pudding are a) not the same density, and b) not viscous enough to hold their shape at their room-temperature consistency. I saw the latter coming, but hadn't anticipated the former, and in combination the effect was that as it warmed up, the pudding began to rearrange itself to a layer of chocolate pudding floating on the apparently thicker vanilla pudding.

Furthermore, the parchment paper I put on top of it to keep boiling pudding from making a mess in my microwave has dragged pudding around the edges of the pie crust, making it look even messier.

I cut a "slice" of, uh, something that definitely isn't chess pie. Whatever, it's a bowl of pudding that happens to have pie crust in it also.



Instant pudding, by the way, tastes exactly the same post-freezing as pre-freezing.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014

We can't stop here! This is cat country!

Oh man, you're going to hate yourself when you find out what it is.



It's just a custard pie made with cornmeal (sometimes flavored with lemon, chocolate, or coconut) and nobody knows where it got its name.

quote:

The origin of the name chess pie is unknown, but many theories and folklore have been proposed. The term may have come from the term "pie chest," in which chess pies could be stored because of their high sugar content. Another guess is that it came from a pronunciation of "cheese pie," because the recipes of lemon chess pie and English lemon curd (cheese) are similar. Alternatively, it could have come from a pronunciation of "It's jes' pie" ("it's just pie").[2] Another proposal is that the pie was eaten in a room in which people would play chess.

Rolo
Nov 16, 2005

Hmm, what have we here?

legendof posted:

I have no idea what makes a pie chess related except for looking like a chessboard, so I'm going to go with that. This is easy to do with cake, but it's not quite as apparent how to do this with pie, largely because there aren't a lot of pie fillings that hold their shape well enough to maintain the pattern, much less ones that come in a dark and a light shade with roughly the same consistency. The closest thing I could come up with was vanilla and chocolate custard.

But then I was a little too lazy to make two separate custards, so I used instant pudding. I'm about to do horrible things to it, so I didn't figure it would matter much. I divided a cake tin that fits inside my pie pan with a strip of cardboard that I taped in place, lined both sides with cling wrap, and dumped my puddings in.



Then I froze them overnight, because I need them solid enough that I can cut them into squares. This is not a normal way to prepare pudding, but I wasn't really ever hoping this would TASTE good, and anyway I'm not sure how much you can ruin instant pudding.

This worked great, actually - I had to dunk the cake tin in hot water briefly to get the pudding-demicircles out, but I cut them into matching checkerboard halves without issue.



Meanwhile, I have made a pie crust (from scratch, because I have my pride with regards to pastry, although apparently not anywhere else) and have put it in the oven to blind bake. I'm not planning on baking this once I get the pudding in, so I want my crust precooked.



While that's baking I line my cake tin with cling wrap again and carefully squeeze my pudding squares in. This is a cold and slightly messy process.



This is the high point of this project. This looks pretty good, all things considered.

Here I have to decide how to get my pudding into my pie crust, which is fresh out of the oven. What I probably should have done was to stick the chessboard-pudding back into the freezer, since the pudding has begun thawing around the edges. But I had people coming over soon, and I was harboring a bit of a hope that I'd be able to serve (non-frozen) pudding pie sometime before tomorrow morning. So I just cooled my pie crust for a few minutes, then inverted the puddingboard over it.

This went... poorly. The bottom had thawed more than the top and the pattern wasn't quite as clear down there to begin with.



So I say gently caress it, I'm just going to microwave this monstrosity and we'll have a laugh and eat it. After about seven minutes of microwaving, it looks like this:



Apparently vanilla and chocolate pudding are a) not the same density, and b) not viscous enough to hold their shape at their room-temperature consistency. I saw the latter coming, but hadn't anticipated the former, and in combination the effect was that as it warmed up, the pudding began to rearrange itself to a layer of chocolate pudding floating on the apparently thicker vanilla pudding.

Furthermore, the parchment paper I put on top of it to keep boiling pudding from making a mess in my microwave has dragged pudding around the edges of the pie crust, making it look even messier.

I cut a "slice" of, uh, something that definitely isn't chess pie. Whatever, it's a bowl of pudding that happens to have pie crust in it also.



Instant pudding, by the way, tastes exactly the same post-freezing as pre-freezing.

I was sitting here thinking about how I’d make it with meatloaf and mashed potatoes, with mushroom and fried onion chess pieces...

ExecuDork
Feb 25, 2007

We might be fucked, sir.

Fallen Rib

Legendof, I rate your chess pie 'magnificent'

Ranter
Jul 11, 2004



My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010



chitoryu12 posted:

Oh man, you're going to hate yourself when you find out what it is.



It's just a custard pie made with cornmeal (sometimes flavored with lemon, chocolate, or coconut) and nobody knows where it got its name.
The description in a pie book I have has it that it comes from "just pie" - it doesn't have a particular filling like fruit or nuts, it's just pie.

Legendof, nevermind hating yourself when you find out what you should have made, I'd like you to look up Battenberg cake and tell us how you feel about what you much more easily could have made.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



Yeah, I've made checkerboards in cake before! It's really easy in cake! It's really not easy in pudding, as it turns out.

Gann Jerrod
Sep 9, 2005

A gun isn't a gun unless it shoots Magic.


So my thought process on university potatoes is that it would be a cheap, yet filling meal based around potatoes. So I combined potatoes with the staple cheap meal of universities, Kraft Mac and Cheese.

My recipe for university potatoes is basically a mac and cheese potato skin, and it turned out pretty good, if not the fanciest of meals.



I added some Parmesan cheese on top for the final broil, and it added a nice flavor to the whole thing. If I were to do this again I probably wouldn’t have salted the outside of the skin, as it was kind of a salt bomb all around. Considering that this was supposed to be a Japanese dish I guess I should have used instant ramen, but I don’t feel like it would have worked as well with the potato.

QuickbreathFinisher
Sep 28, 2008

by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.


Submitting another one I just found out about - Glorified Rice.


Oddly enough that's not a translation. That's what it's called in english.

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014

We can't stop here! This is cat country!

Gann Jerrod posted:

So my thought process on university potatoes is that it would be a cheap, yet filling meal based around potatoes. So I combined potatoes with the staple cheap meal of universities, Kraft Mac and Cheese.

My recipe for university potatoes is basically a mac and cheese potato skin, and it turned out pretty good, if not the fanciest of meals.



I added some Parmesan cheese on top for the final broil, and it added a nice flavor to the whole thing. If I were to do this again I probably wouldn’t have salted the outside of the skin, as it was kind of a salt bomb all around. Considering that this was supposed to be a Japanese dish I guess I should have used instant ramen, but I don’t feel like it would have worked as well with the potato.

This thread is so fun. Here's some real university potatoes:



They're essentially candied sweet potatoes, deep fried and coated in a mix of sugar, honey, and soy sauce. They possibly got their name from being sold to poor Japanese university students in the early 20th century.

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008


Pillbug

legendof posted:



So I say gently caress it, I'm just going to microwave this monstrosity and we'll have a laugh and eat it. After about seven minutes of microwaving, it looks like this:







Should have sent... A Poet...

As someone who loves Chess Pie, this is loving fantastic. This is EXACTLY what I wanted out of this thread.


Beautiful job! I would definitely have eaten this in college. I would still eat this now, and might end up making this.


chitoryu12 posted:

This thread is so fun. Here's some real university potatoes:



They're essentially candied sweet potatoes, deep fried and coated in a mix of sugar, honey, and soy sauce. They possibly got their name from being sold to poor Japanese university students in the early 20th century.

drat. Gonna have to try these too!

RedSnapper
Nov 22, 2016


Most Polish dishes' names are pretty much self-explanatory but I'm curious about the thread's take on pigeons (goląbki).

Flaczki / lil' guts would be another.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



Both the guessed/at and actual version of daigaku imo are great! And that bobo chess pie is beautiful

I will be tentatively making the nun farts on Thursday or Friday this week.

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Status: Single canine
Income: Kibble
Henry Offenses:
1. Eats own feces
2. Is actually named Henry
3. Illiterate


Bleak Gremlin

That chess pie is amazing, and I bet it would have worked out if you had refrozen the pudding after you cut it

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

embrace your inner slack

ok, mother and child
obviously the japanese are big on french cuisine, so i interpreted as the only mother and child in french cuisine, which are the mother sauces and julia child

so a mother sauce on boeuf bourguignon. ended up doing a super thick bechamel w/ cream





make the roux







roux was a bit thick

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

embrace your inner slack

i'ma try american chop suey next

Otana
Jun 1, 2005

Let's go see what kind of trouble we can get into.


bob dobbs is dead posted:

ok, mother and child
obviously the japanese are big on french cuisine, so i interpreted as the only mother and child in french cuisine, which are the mother sauces and julia child

so a mother sauce on boeuf bourguignon. ended up doing a super thick bechamel w/ cream

I would absolutely eat that and I love the creativity behind the idea.

The actual oyakodon or mother and child bowl is chicken and egg on top of rice.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



Awesome!!! That looks great, and I'd happily eat it along with the original.

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008


Pillbug

Would absolutely eat that beefy mother and child.

Sorry about the delay on my part. I spent all weekend cooking a million holiday goodies for my family and work minions.

I present, Fish Smell Eggplant!

This one seemed pretty straight forward. It's Chinese. It's eggplant. It smells like fish. So!





I tasted it at this point, and while pretty good, it didn't actually smell that much like fish. I didn't have any extra fish laying around, so I was wondering how to get more fish smell without just adding more fish sauce, affecting the flavor profile and texture.

Well, what better way to spread a smell than aerosolization?



This should do the trick!





It uh... did not smell good. still tasted good though!

https://i.imgur.com/HnBB4Ts.mp4

Doom Rooster fucked around with this message at Dec 19, 2017 around 02:19

Ranter
Jul 11, 2004



Ha this is great! You went to so much effort for the fish smell that doesn't exist in the actual recipe. There's no fish, fish sauce, nothing.

Doom Rooster
Sep 3, 2008


Pillbug

Mother fucker....

ColdPie
Jun 9, 2006



Hair Elf

Holy poo poo, that chess pie post.

E: Fish flambe gently caress

chitoryu12
Apr 23, 2014

We can't stop here! This is cat country!

You actually got surprisingly close in appearance and ingredients to the real dish. It's called "fish-fragrance eggplant" because the preparation method mirrors the flavors of Sichuan fish dishes. Here's the actual ingredients list:

1 1/2 pounds Asian eggplant
2 tablespoons chicken or vegetable stock, or substitute water
2 tablespoons chili bean paste
2 tablespoons soy sauce
2 tablespoons Chinese black vinegar, or substitute good-quality balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon Chinese rice wine or dry sherry
2 teaspoons sugar
2 tablespoons peanut or vegetable oil
3 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon minced ginger
1 teaspoon cornstarch
1/2 teaspoon ground Sichuan pepper, or substitute 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
Scallions, thinly sliced, for garnish

chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at Dec 19, 2017 around 03:37

Ginger Beer Belly
Aug 18, 2010



English Soup
Rocky Mountain Oysters
Maid-Rite
Ants on a Log
Ambrosia
Scotcharoos

I suppose my forums name would also make an interesting dish.

e: Oops, Juicy Lucy was already there.

Ginger Beer Belly fucked around with this message at Dec 19, 2017 around 06:24

CannonFodder
Jan 26, 2001



Outrageous Lumpwad

RedSnapper posted:

Most Polish dishes' names are pretty much self-explanatory but I'm curious about the thread's take on pigeons (goląbki).
My mom has Polish ancestry, my grandpa would sing Polish songs to his grandkids and we make bunches of kielbasa every year, and my mom will make that dish two or three times a year.

I had no idea about the translation.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

embrace your inner slack

Hailing, as I do, from the great People's Republic of California ("Commiefornia"), it must come to pass that I be not a little alienated from that quantity or quality that makes food American, in the truest American style.

Therefore, I enlisted an Iowa-fed corn-blooded red-bred American to tell me what, of food, was most American, and how it could be incorporated into a Chop Suey.

"The most American food is Steak," the man said.

"and what of the vegetables?"

A thin boy from the state of Oklahoma, his legs bent with rickets, told me in response to this question,
"You will be entirely pleased to find, as a matter of fact, that the truest, most American of methods of preparing vegetables is to not prepare nor eat them at all. If it cannot be helped, at least deep fry them."

"what are the condiments that are usual in this land?"

A welding-man from the state of Ohio with a most curious tattoo on his forehead intoned:

"Cheese. Lots of cheese. Nothing but cheese."

With these encomiums in mind, I set out to create something viable and edible, and with the "pool of grease" that many emphatically required of any cooking that was to earn the title of American.




A magical beast of 600 pounds told me, in a strange suburban land from its rolling-machine, that everything American should have - "sugar. A fuckton of sugar. A mountain of sugar to eclipse the sun. Failing that, corn syrup." Sugar I lacked, but corn syrup I did have.

I would need to avoid the wok hei so beloved of Chinese Chop Suey enthusiasts, or else the sugar would burn.

Cheese... and steak. And, not pictured, the requisite pool of grease.

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

embrace your inner slack

(the rib, I ate later, because it didn't fit in the bowl)

next for me: Jam Roly-Poly

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi!



E: never mind

Indentured Servant
Aug 31, 2008


I'm gonna suggest mother-in-law, buss up shut, and Christ's ears.

limeicebreakers
May 1, 2017


bob dobbs you are a blessing.

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Dogwood Fleet
Sep 14, 2013



I'd love to see someone make ambrosia.

I don't think there's a way to make it worse than the real deal.

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