This challenge was inspired by Fleta Mcgurn admitting in the cooking disasters thread that they tried and failed to make creamed spinach. The crux of the problem was that Fleta had never actually EATEN creamed spinach before, and didn't feel like looking up a recipe, so just made what they thought creamed spinach probably was.
Croatoan and Rolo piled on, and thus this thread's idea was born.
Tell me the name/literal English translation of your regional cuisine, and I will make it without looking up ANYTHING about it, then will post my results. I'm willing to do one per week, so anyone else, please feel free to jump in and claim a dish that gets posted.
To get an idea of how this would play out, imagine what someone asked to make corned beef would come up with if they had no idea what it was, and no access to any info. Same thing for Frito Pie.
Give me your regional dishes!
Fake edit: Scandinavians, y'all have some seriously racist food names, so let's skip those, thanks!
Real edit: Yuge response so far! Below is what is done, what is claimed, and what has already been suggested and is up for grabs.
California Burrito completed by Tiggum
Jamaican Patty with Coco Bread completed by Doom Rooster
Chocolate Gravy by bob dobbs is dead
German Sausage Salad by Tiggum
University Potatoes by Gann Jerod
Fish Smell Eggplant by Doom Rooster
Mother and Child by bob dobbs is dead
Chess Pie by legendof
American Chop Suey by bob dobbs is dead
Frybread by bob dobbs is dead
The Fitzgerald (cocktail) by chitoryu12
Jam Roly-Poly by bob dobbs is dead
Puppy Chow by Flaccid Trip
Bollocks Monkey by RandomPaul
Between the Sheets (cocktail) by legendof
Prairie Fire (cocktail) by legendof
Prarie Fire of Soom by chitoryu12
Fat Gravy by bob dobbs is dead
Doom Rooster by ExecuDork
Small Fry Dirt Bean by ExecuDork
Funeral Potatoes by ExecuDork
Tiger Skin Bell-Pepper by Neofelis
Burgoo by PDP-1
Fish-Head Fire-Pot by Leviathan Song
Glorified Rice by Cavenagh
Bunny Chow by Doom Rooster
Green Broth by Doom Rooster
Bile Up claimed by Doom Rooster
Handcheese with Music claimed by JaquelineDempsey
Funeral Potatoes claimed by Execudork and rumble in the bunghole (tracking in OP now to prevent dupes)
Nun's Farts claimed by Fleta Mcgurn
Hot Brown claimed by Invisible Ted
Minnesotan Sushi claimed by Suspect Bucket
Doom Rooster claimed by RandomPaul
Glorified Rice claimed by Cavenagh
Bubble and Squeak claimed by Discussion Quorum
Corned Beef claimed by Fluffy Bunnies
Toad in the Hole claimed by Fluffy Bunnies
Fish Cock claimed by fizzmercy
Jell-O Salad claimed by Dogwood Fleet
Grave Salmon served with overly sweetened potato box claimed by Merkin Muffley
Charles Dickens' Own Punch (cocktail) claimed by legendof
Rocky Mountain Oysters by bob dobbs is dead
Tiger Bite/Son of a Bitch Sauce by Liquid Communism
Up For Grabs:
Door County Fish Boil
Burger with the Lot
Icelandic Fish Balls
Super Easy Fudge
Crumbly Porridge with Sour Milk
Russian Plucked Cake
Return to the Pot Meat
Hog's Head Cheese
Roast Beef Debris
Buddha Jumps Over the Wall
Heaven and Earth
Swedish Palt/Body Cake
Bread of the Hand
Herring Under a Fur Coat
Cubano Pressed Sandwich
Dutch Apple Baby
Halal Snack Pack
Husband and Wife Beef
My Dumbass Aunt
Grilled Whatever You Like
Pie Floater with Chicken Salt Chips on the side
Shark and Tatties
Pea Pie and Pud
North Dakota Kuchen (Cake)
Cabbage Goulash with Bohemian Dumplings
Sad Cold (Bean) Starch
The smile of a calf prepared after the recipe of a she-banker
Spaghetti in the Style of Whores
German Liver Cheese
Devils on Horseback
Ants on a Log
Buss Up Shut
poo poo on a Shingle
Cement Mixer (cocktail)
Washington Apple (cocktail)
South Dakota Martini (cocktail)
Cow Spunk (cocktail)
Hot Beef Commercial
A person from Pori
Slap on the Ear
Frog Eye Salad
Bread and Butter Pudding
Sweet Potatoes (Chinese)
Boyld Brawne hint: "A brawny Churchman makes a hearty meal."
Doom Rooster fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2018 around 19:19
|# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 15:39|
|# ¿ Mar 26, 2019 12:41|
This is one of my favorite videos ever.
As someone from Central Florida, we have a lot of Caribbean immigrants.
Never heard of it! Will make it this weekend.
|# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 16:43|
Either corned beef or hoe cakes.
Over here in Rochester NY, our regional dish thing is the garbage plate, and maybe depending on the mood it might have white hots in it. Not ethic by any stretch but oh boy that meal is up to limitless interpretation by name alone.
I already know all of these, so will leave these to anyone who doesn't to grab.
Bile Up, godspeed sir.
No clue. This should be interesting...
|# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 17:51|
Gonna grab two this week, Jamaican Patty with Coco Bread, and because I for some reason think it's probably a beverage, Bile Up. Would LOVE some other folks to claim some and post.
Already know what the following are, so they are out for me:
|# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 23:41|
Nope, Texas actually. I just watch way too much food TV.
|# ¿ Dec 7, 2017 23:56|
I've got an American cookbook, a real heartland-cowboys-flags-patriotism-'MURICA type book (every registered Republican must have a copy, I'm sure) and it has a recipe named "Super-Easy Fudge".
If you're "Super Easy Fudge" includes margarine and marshmallow cream, I've probably made over a hundred pounds of it in my life. big family batches every Christmas. Only made normal fudge once. Not worth.
Bah. What about Laverbread?
Is there a translation for that, or is Laver just a name?
|# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 04:50|
Doom Rooster: Instead of a name, can we post a picture and have you (or someone else) try to recreate it without knowing what it is?
Sure! Picture totally works. Tek's response proves that hilarity could ensue. Also, thanks for picking one up!
Lots of great suggestions so far. I'll be headed out for ingredients for my first round tomorrow night, with a post up on Sunday.
|# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 17:25|
I really want to invent the dish "Doom Rooster" now. Roast chicken stuffed with fugu?
I would be honored to have a dish named after me. Would prefer it actually get made at least once though. If you've got access to fugu, go for it! I'd probably have gone for ridiculously, over the top spicy instead though.
|# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 17:52|
Absolutely, please do!
|# ¿ Dec 8, 2017 23:19|
Well, I don't know what a California burrito is, but I do know what a California roll is and I know what a burrito is so I think I've got this.
Superb! And so weird! You've nailed the spirit of the thread.
|# ¿ Dec 9, 2017 12:53|
Jamaican patty with coco bread made, post going up tomorrow.
Need more people to join in! We've got dozens of great
|# ¿ Dec 10, 2017 01:07|
Sorry no Bile Up yet. I tired myself out with the Jamaican patty, on top of having zero idea where to start with Bile Up. Sometime this week though, I promise. But with that, I present to you, Jamaican Patty with Coco Bread.
No fuckin' clue what a Jamaican Patty is, but I figure that Jamaicans eat a good bit of goat, so I'll use that. Just taking ground goat and making it into a burger patty doesn't sound appetizing, so it must be spiced up a little. I also figure that there must literally be only one set of flavors in Jamaican cuisine, and that's JERK.
So let's make some jerk goat.
I turned all of the spices/herbs into this: (no access to scotch bonnets this time of year. Habs will have to do.)
Then I browned the goat, and put everything into my pressure cooker.
Lookit how great this cooking goat looks!
While that was cooking, I made the coco bread. So I figured that "coco" with no "a" definitely mean coconut, so coconut bread it is. I have no idea how to make coconut bread, but I DO know how to make corn bread, so I just took my favorite corn bread recipe, but subbed out coconut flour for the corn meal, and coconut oil for the vegetable oil and butter. I also subbed out half of the white sugar for brown.
After 45 minutes, I figured that the goat was done, but now how to make it into a patty...
Bread came out right after I was done cleaning up the goat and pulling into into chunks.
Also reduced about 3 cups of jerk cooking liquid into about a half cup of jerk concentrate. 5 Habaneros was... Plenty... (Added 2 tbsp of brown sugar to sweeten it up and help it get a syrupy consistency)
Well, Everyone's second favorite patty type is the crab cake, so let's use that method!
Breadcrumbs, mayo, 2 tbsp jerk concentrate, an egg and some chopped scallions. While they were frying, I took another few tbsp of jerk concentrate and mixed it into some mayo to make spicy jerk mayo. loving awesome actually.
Jerk goat cakes done.
Split open some coco bread, lay down some jerk mayo, add the patty, more jerk mayo for good measure and top with some chopped scallions for freshness, but mainly so not 100% of the dish is brown.
Overall, really good. A little dry, so it was good that I had some of my latest batch of ghost pepper, mango, orange and charred onion hot sauce!
This was really loving good. I can see why this is a traditional Jamaican staple. I knew that goat with all those flavors would at least be good, but I thought the coco bread was going to be a disaster. It was the best thing actually. It's subtly sweet, definitely coconutty, but not at all overpowering. SUPER moist, with a dense but soft texture. Will 10000% be making the coco bread again, often. The jerk goat patties were good, but a little more trouble that they were worth. I'll also totally be using this jerk mayo on other stuff.
Dessert tonight will be leftover coco bread with sliced mango and lime whipped cream.
Doom Rooster fucked around with this message at Dec 10, 2017 around 21:12
|# ¿ Dec 10, 2017 21:09|
Edit: ^^^^ I love the bread, served inside another bread.
Thanks for the kind words all!
So those goat patties look [i]better[i] than real Jamaican patties.
drat, not even close. Love it! Looking at those on the internet now, they also look loving awesome, and a little less effort. Might end up making those for real.
You beautiful bastard...
That coco bread looks pretty good, actually. I might hit the top with some demerara sugar or toasted shredded coconut before baking next time to give it a bit more visual interest, but I can totally see it going well with a more hawiian style of pulled pork.
Yeah, I was thinking that before putting it into the oven, but decided to play it super safe. Will definitely be torching a little demerara sugar post-bake next time.
Next day trip report on coconut bread dessert. Only super lovely underripe mangos at the store, so instead of just slices I stewed them into a mango lime compote topped with lime whipped cream. drat, drat good.
|# ¿ Dec 11, 2017 15:54|
Indeed. Very good call. I'll comb through, collate and update the OP tonight.
|# ¿ Dec 11, 2017 17:34|
I'm pretty sure a "Wroughtirony" would be an elaborate wedding cake created by an extremely homophobic baker- a truly exquisite cake and the showpiece of the baker's career. An ad campaign featuring the cake (and happy couple) would be created at great expense and business would be booming until somebody pointed out that the "groom" in the picture was female. A media kerfuffle ensues, celebrities take sides, the couple is gifted a lavish honeymoon, the Human Rights Council rakes in donations, and the bakery goes out of business.
This is beautiful.
Also, OP has been updated with a running list of done, claimed and up for grabs.
|# ¿ Dec 11, 2017 19:25|
Already suggest and claimed! Execudork and rumble in the bunghole will both be going after it.
|# ¿ Dec 11, 2017 22:51|
I've kind of half-arsed this one, just because I happened to have some leftover sausages in the fridge. I thought "Germans like cabbage" so I made some coleslaw and put cut up sausages in it. Served with baked beans and cheese on baked potatoes.
That looks terrible, but tasty! Anyone want to chime in with a critique of what German Sausage Salad should have been?
turn left op, noo! it's called "kuchen" literally. the german aspect comes into it here. they call it kuchen, not cake. also, even more specifically, it's common among the Dakota diaspora who say they are "Germans from Russia" i.e. Germanic people who were in Russia before coming to America. idk if all that needs to be in the op but it definitely isn't just "cake"
|# ¿ Dec 12, 2017 15:05|
I'm guessing it's wurstsalat that was being attempted, in which case a recipe for the real thing is here. It's basically julienne sausage, pickles, onions, and optionally cheese seasoned with vinegar.
This may be the most German thing that I have ever seen.
|# ¿ Dec 12, 2017 15:40|
Should have sent... A Poet...
As someone who loves Chess Pie, this is loving fantastic. This is EXACTLY what I wanted out of this thread.
Beautiful job! I would definitely have eaten this in college. I would still eat this now, and might end up making this.
This thread is so fun. Here's some real university potatoes:
drat. Gonna have to try these too!
|# ¿ Dec 15, 2017 22:09|
Would absolutely eat that beefy mother and child.
Sorry about the delay on my part. I spent all weekend cooking a million holiday goodies for my family and work minions.
I present, Fish Smell Eggplant!
This one seemed pretty straight forward. It's Chinese. It's eggplant. It smells like fish. So!
I tasted it at this point, and while pretty good, it didn't actually smell that much like fish. I didn't have any extra fish laying around, so I was wondering how to get more fish smell without just adding more fish sauce, affecting the flavor profile and texture.
Well, what better way to spread a smell than aerosolization?
This should do the trick!
It uh... did not smell good. still tasted good though!
Doom Rooster fucked around with this message at Dec 19, 2017 around 02:19
|# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 02:14|
|# ¿ Dec 19, 2017 02:24|
Sorry for the delays all. It's been a crazy set of holidays.
Thanks bob dobbs is dead for keeping the dream alive! Also a fine looking cocktail from chitoryu12.
OP has been fully updated, and in the spirit of cliche New Year's diets, I am claiming Green Broth and Bunny Chow.
|# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 19:32|
I'm still waiting on the goddamn funeral potatoes Whoever claimed that poo poo get on it!
I'm looking through the OP and can't find a listing for the entry you completed. Did I miss it? Let me know and I'll put it up there.
|# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 23:28|
ok, jam roly-poly
Fantastic. I love the lobster tail/roly-poly visual connection. You're doing great work.
|# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 16:30|
Oh I know that you suggested it, I was just calling you out for complaining when you have not completed anything yourself.
|# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 23:48|
Hey all, appreciate the concern. I'm still alive and pecking. Life did indeed get crazy. My wedding is in 12 days, then honeymoon trip to India two weeks later. Will try to get another entry knocked out before then. I'll also go through the thread and update posted creations and suggestions tonight or tomorrow.
In the meantime though, I have knocked out a couple.
I first tackled "Green Broth". I was thinking about what else has "green" in the name that would be converted into a broth. Green curry was the obvious choice, so I made a green Thai curry broth with cilantro oil. Added a little spinach for color. I blanched all of the green stuff first to bring out the bright green color, and kept the temps under 150 after that to keep the color. It was a beautiful, vibrant green for about 10 minutes... I am betting that the acidity from the lime juice is what caused the browning. Should have saved the lime for individual servings at the table.
Overall though, really loving good. Served with some sous vide tilapia (lime zest and lemon grass) and rice noodles.
Bunny chow was super easy. I already knew what bunnies eat, so I chopped some lettuce and grated some carrots. Done!
That was loving boring though. Why would anyone eat this? Maybe it was supposed to be chow, made out of bunnies...?
Roasted it about an inch over coals, rubbed with garlic, rosemary, salt, pepper and olive oil. Cavity stuffed with more rosemary, garlic and lemon zest.
This was actually delicious. Rabbit really does taste like chicken. Nearly indistinguishable. Glad it costs three times as much!
|# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 14:57|
It was great actually. I concentrated coals under the shoulder joints to help cook evenly. I took it up to 145 before letting it rest in a warm oven. Was super juicy, firm but still tender. Exactly like a perfectly cooked chicken breast. The legs were a LITTLE bit interesting. They have a texture that has the same grain as chicken thigh, but the meat is still super white, and the chew is like a chicken breast. If it were not $10.99/lb, while the local organic happy free-roaming chicken I get is $4.99, I would get rabbit again.
lol, this shitpostin thread is less important than your wedding, i say as someone who's spent like $100 on food for this shitpostin thread
Appreciate the support! Cooking is fun and relieves stress for me though, so might have some direction, and take some pictures of it. Will definitely not be breaking my back trying to get posts up though.
|# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 18:10|
Claiming "Refined Beans" for after my wedding.
I only hope that I can live up to the fantastic Glorified Rice. Incredible.
I will definitely also be using gold, as I will have a good bit left over after making my wedding cake.
|# ¿ Jan 30, 2018 16:45|
Already know VERY well what those are. Far too well... Added to the list for someone else to take a crack at. Updated 4 pages worth of backlog while I was at it!
If you made a dish, claimed a dish, or suggested a dish and don't see it in the correct section of the OP, send me a PM and I'll get to it when I can.
|# ¿ Jan 30, 2018 19:19|
|# ¿ Mar 26, 2019 12:41|
Oh poo poo, also! ExecuDork!!!!!
I had totally missed your entry for Doom Rooster. I am VERY proud to have a stout-marinated chicken, with coffin-shaped potatoes as my foodified name. Awesome job, and I would eat the heck out of that.
To hell with that. ! Some of the best posts, are the laziest. Also, creativity counts for much more than skill/expense of execution.
Doom Rooster fucked around with this message at Jan 30, 2018 around 19:31
|# ¿ Jan 30, 2018 19:29|