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legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I would also like to nominate the classic Minnesotan dish hot dish.

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legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I think I'll take chess pie, although it's gonna take me a couple of days to get around to it.

E: and come to think of it, I'd also like to nominate "spaghetti alla Puttanesca", or "spaghetti in the style of whores".

legendof fucked around with this message at Dec 11, 2017 around 19:46

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I have made a chess pie. Of sorts. I will try to get a post up tonight documenting the... experience. It didn't go entirely to plan.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I have no idea what makes a pie chess related except for looking like a chessboard, so I'm going to go with that. This is easy to do with cake, but it's not quite as apparent how to do this with pie, largely because there aren't a lot of pie fillings that hold their shape well enough to maintain the pattern, much less ones that come in a dark and a light shade with roughly the same consistency. The closest thing I could come up with was vanilla and chocolate custard.

But then I was a little too lazy to make two separate custards, so I used instant pudding. I'm about to do horrible things to it, so I didn't figure it would matter much. I divided a cake tin that fits inside my pie pan with a strip of cardboard that I taped in place, lined both sides with cling wrap, and dumped my puddings in.



Then I froze them overnight, because I need them solid enough that I can cut them into squares. This is not a normal way to prepare pudding, but I wasn't really ever hoping this would TASTE good, and anyway I'm not sure how much you can ruin instant pudding.

This worked great, actually - I had to dunk the cake tin in hot water briefly to get the pudding-demicircles out, but I cut them into matching checkerboard halves without issue.



Meanwhile, I have made a pie crust (from scratch, because I have my pride with regards to pastry, although apparently not anywhere else) and have put it in the oven to blind bake. I'm not planning on baking this once I get the pudding in, so I want my crust precooked.



While that's baking I line my cake tin with cling wrap again and carefully squeeze my pudding squares in. This is a cold and slightly messy process.



This is the high point of this project. This looks pretty good, all things considered.

Here I have to decide how to get my pudding into my pie crust, which is fresh out of the oven. What I probably should have done was to stick the chessboard-pudding back into the freezer, since the pudding has begun thawing around the edges. But I had people coming over soon, and I was harboring a bit of a hope that I'd be able to serve (non-frozen) pudding pie sometime before tomorrow morning. So I just cooled my pie crust for a few minutes, then inverted the puddingboard over it.

This went... poorly. The bottom had thawed more than the top and the pattern wasn't quite as clear down there to begin with.



So I say gently caress it, I'm just going to microwave this monstrosity and we'll have a laugh and eat it. After about seven minutes of microwaving, it looks like this:



Apparently vanilla and chocolate pudding are a) not the same density, and b) not viscous enough to hold their shape at their room-temperature consistency. I saw the latter coming, but hadn't anticipated the former, and in combination the effect was that as it warmed up, the pudding began to rearrange itself to a layer of chocolate pudding floating on the apparently thicker vanilla pudding.

Furthermore, the parchment paper I put on top of it to keep boiling pudding from making a mess in my microwave has dragged pudding around the edges of the pie crust, making it look even messier.

I cut a "slice" of, uh, something that definitely isn't chess pie. Whatever, it's a bowl of pudding that happens to have pie crust in it also.



Instant pudding, by the way, tastes exactly the same post-freezing as pre-freezing.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



Yeah, I've made checkerboards in cake before! It's really easy in cake! It's really not easy in pudding, as it turns out.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I feel a need to drink to forget my chess pie redeem myself, so I'll claim a few of those cocktails - Charles Dickens' Own Punch, Between the Sheets, and Prairie Fire.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



All right let's talk about cocktails.

Actually, first, let me get my pride out of the way:



There. That's what I should have done all along. (apple pie with cocoa powder stenciled on)

Now, on to drinking. I would like to begin with a disclaimer that I do not drink as much as all these half empty liquor bottles will make it seem like I do, I live with a handful of other people and it's a collective liquor cabinet.

First up, Charles Dickens' Own Punch. The first thing I thought of when I read this name was the Zombie Hemingway, a drink I used to order at a downtown Seattle bar which has since closed - it was 2 shots each of 3 kinds of rum and pineapple juice. They had a two-per-customer limit. So this drink is inspired by that - I decided gin was the right spirit for a Dickens drink, and coincidentally I really like gin so we've got a solid four gins on hand.

Oh, side note, these photos are all courtesy of one of my roommates, who is also a goon and who has been lurking in this thread.



I decided on a lemon infused gin, the whiskey barrel aged gin, and the Costco gin, since the fourth one was lavender infused and the flavor didn't seem right for a punch. Punches have fruit juice, so the drink is one part of each of the gins and three parts apple juice. (pictured farther down, but it doesn't look like much.) Honestly it was delicious, surprisingly so. I might make this again.

Next up: the Prairie Fire. Now, my first thought here was a bourbon and some Fireball. But my roommate (who is from the Midwest) convinced me that instead the thing to do was mix the most Midwestern things we had on hand, and then set it on fire. Since we don't keep economic depression or opioid addiction on hand, this is what we've got:



The Sam's club vodka is substituting for the grain alcohol that he informs me would be more traditional.

So, this "cocktail" starts with corn, just, uh, dropped in the glass, and then a couple shots of vodka, and then a float of bacardi 151 and some fire.





We did not drink this. It also stayed on fire way longer than I anticipated, so we kinda couldn't.

The last drink was a Between The Sheets. My first impulse here was to make a Sex on the Beach, which I thought was a rum drink and I could just substitute the rum for vodka and claim I'd taken out the beach. But it turns out to be peach schnapps, vodka, cranberry juice, and orange juice, so... I just made a cocktail kinda like that, with blackberry juice, vodka, and Chambord. It was pretty good, nothing to dislike there.

The Prairie Fire is still on fire.



So I guess technically I've made these three cocktails, but the night is young.

For a more exciting Between the Sheets, we research layered shots and try to make something that's white-something else-white. We can't quite get the densities to work, and we stop when we curdle the milk in the blackberry juice.



Just to be thorough, I also mix up a Prairie Fire according to my original idea (bourbon and fireball).



Wait, poo poo, that's Seahawks bourbon, that won't do at all.



There we go.

This drink was... Unremarkable. It's just less cinnamon-y and slightly sweeter fireball.



The Prairie Fire has finally gone out! We agree that we still don't want to drink it.

legendof fucked around with this message at Jan 11, 2018 around 20:06

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



PDP-1 posted:

Burgoo.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014



I... Might make (something like) that tonight, that looks amazing.

legendof
Oct 27, 2014





E: it pleases me to no end the way this thread has led to people creating irl things that didn't ever exist before (some of which didn't need to exist, but this is not one of those).

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legendof
Oct 27, 2014



Your pasta puttanesca is not very wrong! Traditionally it's olives and veggies, but shrimp would work just fine in the original. The iconic bit is the sauce - it's sort of like if you started a marinara from scratch (as in from tomatoes) but didn't have the time to finish it so your sauce was just tomatoes crushed in a pan and cooked for a couple of minutes with garlic and some herbs. You can basically make it in the time it takes to boil water and cook your pasta. Depending on who you ask, it was perfected by prostitutes either because they could make and eat it quickly between clients or to lure clients in with the aroma.

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