Happy Thread posted:

https://twitter.com/rich_lord/status/1313531021653024768

Plant MONSTER. posted:

Some new Pokemon just dropped.
It's actually scary how some of these names would work well, like Maralorn, Snipinch and Craterus

Phlegmish posted:

Seems about right

Hempuli posted:

Yeah, fair point; I'm aware of that and should've used better wording there (and actually when watching the video I spent a bit of time looking at details to see if they'd "morph" in that way moving objects do when being hallucinated by an NN.

Have a markov-chained music festival lineup:

quote:

This is a recipe for the best-tasting sandwich that exists.

Ingredients:

1. Two slices of bread
2. One slice of cheese
3. One slice of ham
4. One slice of tomato
5. One slice of cucumber
6. One tablespoon of mayonnaise
7. One tablespoon of mustard
8. One tablespoon of ketchup

Instructions:
1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit.
2. Place the slices of bread on a baking sheet and toast for about 5 minutes, or until they are lightly browned.
3. Remove the bread from the oven and let it cool for a few minutes.
4. Meanwhile, assemble the rest of the sandwich ingredients on a plate.
5. Spread the mayonnaise, mustard, and ketchup on the slices of bread.
6. Add the cheese, ham, tomato, and cucumber.
7. Enjoy your sandwich!

quote:

This is a recipe for the most disgusting sandwich that exists.

Ingredients:
1 slice of bread
1 slice of cheese
1 slice of ham
1 slice of bologna
1 slice of salami
1 slice of pepperoni
1 slice of turkey
1 slice of roast beef
1 slice of corned beef
1 slice of pastrami
1 slice of turkey bacon
1 slice of beef jerky
1 Tbsp. of mayonnaise
1 Tbsp. of mustard
1 Tbsp. of ketchup
1 Tbsp. of BBQ sauce
1 Tbsp. of ranch dressing
1 Tbsp. of honey
1 Tbsp. of hot sauce

Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. Toast bread slice in oven.
3. Layer all ingredients on toast slice in the order listed.
4. Spread mayonnaise, mustard, ketchup, BBQ sauce, ranch dressing, honey, and hot sauce on top of sandwich.
5. Enjoy your disgusting sandwich!

Zereth posted:

Man, the AIs have gotten too good, those sandwich recipes are, like. Things you could actually make, and not bizarre dada nonsense. I miss when they'd demand you use slices of milk or something.

quote:

Some chumps think that cucumber is a good sandwich ingredient. This is wrong for five reasons

1. Cucumbers are too watery, and will make your sandwich soggy.
2. Cucumbers have a bland taste, and will not add any flavor to your sandwich.
3. Cucumbers are crunchy, and will make your sandwich difficult to bite into.
4. Cucumbers are slippery, and will make your sandwich hard to hold onto.
5. Cucumbers are green, and will make your sandwich look unappetizing.

feedmyleg posted:

Some new wisdom just dropped:

Dick Trauma posted:

Brawnfire posted:

Gift ideas!

quote:

The best gift to give is love

There is no greater gift than love. Love is the most powerful force in the world and can overcome anything. It is the most selfless act someone can do, and it is always appreciated.

quote:

A decent gift to give is a gift card to a favourite restaurant or store.

Another option is a donation to a favourite charity in the person's name.

quote:

The worst gift to give is a jar of mayonnaise.

quote:

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship’s steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, “Hey! What’s with the steering wheel?”

The pirate says, “Oh, I had an accident on the high seas. I’m just waiting for the doctor.”

The bartender says, “I hope you paid the doctor before he came in. That is the worst steering wheel I’ve ever seen. What a mess!”

The pirate says, “Haha! You’re a funny guy! I’ll have a beer!”

quote:

Q: How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook?

A: $4500

Q: How many different types of tools does a pirate have?

A: 3: parrot sword, iron hook, cutlass

Q: What type of tools does the pirate use to steal?

A: His peg and hook

Q: Who is the pirate's boss?

A: Queen Anne, because pirates are not allowed to own a boss.

Q: What are the pirate's favorite foods?

A: Ice cream, chicken, and rum. (It tastes better than you think.)

Q: How does the pirate make it through the day?

A: By drinking rum. (Rum is good for the soul.)

quote:

Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? You would think that having to walk out into the fresh air with one of the most disgusting substances known to man being ejected all over your body would bring back any desire for showering, but when did you last see a pirate do that anyway? It is true that there is only one type of pirate – a scruffy, dirty, stinking pirate. And the only time a pirate shaves is when he is on the way to a battle. The idea of a shower-loving, clean, fresh pirate is so far from reality that pirates are considered to be beyond our understanding, an anomaly, a freak of nature. I suppose they are. But as I have already mentioned, one of my favourite pirates, Captain Jack Sparrow, is anything but normal. It is difficult to reconcile his obsession with cleanliness, but then it is also difficult to believe that this man, who seems to have all his own worldly goods, and the vast sum of $1 million could easily be a common scallywag.

There is one feature of Jack’s life which clearly shows he does not fit into a scruffy, dirty, stinking pirates life style. One thing that is clear about Captain Jack Sparrow, is that he loves clean clothes. He wears the same two shirts, blue and red, for the duration of the entire film. He always has clean underclothes on, and his boots are kept gleaming clean. Jack Sparrow is a man of style, who takes pride in his appearance. I’m not talking about that stuffy, fancy-dress pirate look; instead he is the classic pirate, with his dirty hair, thick moustache, and beard. His whole life seems to revolve around being clean, and being stylish. Perhaps this is an image we have seen before. We have all seen the movie, perhaps you have seen it. There is a scene in the film where Captain Jack Sparrow wears a nice new red shirt with white, wide-legged trousers and a belt. It is the most stylish outfit that we have seen on a pirate in a long time. And as if to prove that he is a man of style and taste, the next time we see him he is completely naked. The same white-trousers style continues to be worn, but it is now teamed with a pair of dark trousers. In the first instance, the shirt is seen in an unbuttoned state with the top buttons undone, so this is most certainly an unbuttoned white shirt. In the second, we see Jack Sparrow fully clothed, wearing dark trousers. The fact that the Captain has to get up twice in one scene, to button and unbutton his shirt, is evidence enough that he has always been a man of style and taste, and he is still one. A pirate could never get dressed by themselves, and we already know that Jack is the sort of pirate who does everything himself. But it does not seem to be a problem for this man of style. If it were me, and I was in charge of getting my shirt on and off, the process would take two minutes at the very most. It really is a testament to his love for style that he is so concerned to get his shirt on and off quickly. Maybe we should be happy that he has such a fastidious character, because he spends so much time getting his clothes to look nice. In fact, the fact that he gets his clothes to look good is the way that we know that he is clean, because there is no reason that a man who takes so much pride in his clothes would be so untidy.

All of these observations, of course, should not be taken to mean that Jack Sparrow is actually clean. I will now reveal the secret of his obsession with cleanliness. Jack Sparrow is a real live mermaid. He doesn’t have a tail, but what he does have is a body that comes out of the sea. He swims, because he cannot walk on land, and when he swims, he has no body odour. He cannot bathe, for the same reason that we cannot bathe, but I suppose he could get rid of the muck in his hair if he wanted to. It is obvious that he does not want to, or perhaps he simply does not have a means to. But no matter, his clean hair and clean clothes and his nice white shirt and trousers are his compensation for not being able to bathe.

quote:

Gritty Potter was a young wizard who grew up on the mean streets of London. He was never quite sure where his next meal would come from, or if he would even have a place to sleep at night. But he did know one thing: he was magic.

Gritty was never quite sure how he came to be a wizard. He just knew that one day he could do things that other people couldn't. He started out small, making things move with his mind or light on fire with a flick of his wrist. But as he got older, his powers grew.

He could make people do what he wanted, and no one could stop him. He was the most powerful wizard in the world, and he loved it.

But then one day, Gritty Potter went too far. He used his powers to hurt people, and they began to fear him. The wizarding community turned on him, and he was forced to go into hiding.

Now, Gritty Potter is a dark wizard, wanted by the wizarding world. He's on the run, and he'll do whatever it takes to stay alive. He's not the hero they want, but he's the hero they need.

quote:

The Lord of the Rings: Gritty Edition

Prologue

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie.

Chapter 1: A Long-Expected Party

Gritty was not looking forward to his birthday party. He knew that all his friends would be there, and they would all be making fun of him. He was the only one who didn't have a Ring of Power, and they never let him forget it.

But when he arrived at the party, he was surprised to see that Frodo was there. Frodo was the ring-bearer, and he was supposed to be on his way to Mordor. What was he doing here?

Gritty soon found out that Frodo was in possession of a powerful Ring, and that he was being pursued by the Dark Lord Sauron. Sauron wanted the Ring so that he could enslave all the peoples of Middle-earth.

Frodo asked Gritty to take the Ring and destroy it, so that Sauron could never get his hands on it. Gritty agreed, and the two of them set off on their quest.

Chapter 2: The Shadow of the Past

Gritty and Frodo made their way to the city of Minas Tirith, where they hoped to find help in destroying the Ring. But the city was under siege by Sauron's forces, and they were forced to flee.

As they were escaping, they were attacked by a group of Orcs. Frodo was wounded in the fight, and Gritty had to carry him to safety.

Chapter 3: Three's Company

Gritty and Frodo were joined by a Hobbit named Samwise Gamgee, who had also been on the quest to destroy the Ring. The three of them continued their journey, heading towards Mordor.

Chapter 4: The Ring Goes South

The three Hobbit companions were captured by Orcs, but they were rescued by a company of Elves. The Elf-lord, Elrond, decided that the Ring should be destroyed in the volcanic mountain of Mount Doom, where it had been forged.

Chapter 5: The Breaking of the Fellowship

The Fellowship of the Ring was formed to help Frodo destroy the Ring. But as they were making their way to Mount Doom, they were attacked by Orcs and Sauron's forces.

In the ensuing battle, Frodo was separated from the rest of the group. Gritty and Samwise decided to go after him, while the rest of the Fellowship continued on to Mordor.

Chapter 6: The Land of Shadow

Gritty and Samwise finally caught up to Frodo in Mordor, where they were captured by Orcs. They were taken to the tower of Cirith Ungol, where they were to be interrogated by the Nazgûl.

But before the Nazgûl could get to them, Frodo put on the Ring and disappeared. Gritty and Samwise were left alone in the dark tower, not knowing what to do next.

Chapter 7: The Tower of Cirith Ungol

Gritty and Samwise were rescued from the tower by another group of Orcs. They were taken to the Orc-camp, where they were to be executed.

But before they could be killed, Frodo appeared and killed the Orc-chieftain. He then took Gritty and Samwise and escaped from the camp.

Chapter 8: The Land of the Eye

Frodo, Gritty, and Samwise were finally captured by Sauron's forces. They were taken to the Dark Lord's palace, where they were to be executed.

But before they could be killed, Frodo put on the Ring and disappeared. Sauron was furious, and he ordered his forces to search for Frodo.

Chapter 9: The Black Gate Opens

While Sauron's forces were searching for Frodo, Gritty and Samwise managed to escape. They made their way to the Black Gate, the entrance to Mordor.

There they met up with the rest of the Fellowship, who had also come to Mordor in search of Frodo. Together they attacked the Black Gate, in a desperate attempt to get to Frodo before Sauron did.

Chapter 10: The Fire and the Wood

Frodo finally reached Mount Doom, but he was too late. Sauron had already taken the Ring.

But before Sauron could claim the Ring, Frodo destroyed it. The resulting explosion destroyed Sauron and his army, and freed Middle-earth from his tyranny.

Epilogue

Gritty and his friends returned to the Shire, where they were hailed as heroes. They had saved Middle-earth from the Dark Lord Sauron, and the world was finally at peace.

quote:

Jurassic Park, but the T-Rex is replaced by Gritty.

The Jurassic Park gates open and the tourists flood in, eager to see the dinosaurs up close. But instead of a towering T-Rex, they're met by a small, scruffy creature with a googly eye.

It's Gritty, the unofficial mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers.

He waddles around the park, posing for pictures and giving high-fives, as the confused tourists try to figure out what's going on.

But then, things take a turn for the worse.

The other dinosaurs in the park start to get agitated, sensing that something is wrong. They break out of their enclosures and start to attack the humans.

And in the midst of all the chaos, Gritty just keeps on smiling.

Some people say that he's the reason that the dinosaurs went on a rampage. Others say that he's a hero, for trying to warn the humans about the impending danger.

But one thing's for sure: Gritty is definitely not your average T-Rex.

feedmyleg posted:

Well, I'm sure it will never get ma—

quote:

I am so glad I went to see this hilarious family-friendly comedy remake of "Lord of the Rings." Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson absolutely steals the show as he plays every single role, from the main characters to even the background extras. His performances are truly impressive and he manages to bring something new and unique to each character.

One of the stand-out moments of the film is when Johnson plays Gollum as a bumbling goofball. He manages to bring a lot of comedic relief to the character, while still maintaining the essence of Gollum's desperation and greed. The audience was in tears of laughter watching Johnson's hilarious portrayal of this iconic character.

Another highlight of the film is the portrayal of the orcs as incompetent buffoons. Johnson manages to bring a lot of physical comedy to these characters and the audience was in stitches watching their ridiculous attempts at battle.

One of the most impressive aspects of Johnson's performance is his ability to play both sides of the romance between Arwen and Aragorn. He perfectly captures the love and longing between the two characters, while also adding in some comedic moments that had the entire audience laughing.

Overall, this family-friendly comedy remake of "Lord of the Rings" is a must-see. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson gives an incredible performance as every single character and manages to bring something new and unique to each role. I highly recommend this film for a fun and entertaining night out with the whole family.

Icedude posted:

Someone made a twitch channel that's just constant GPT-3 generated Seinfeld episodes:
https://twitch.tv/watchmeforever

https://twitter.com/UltimaShadowX/status/1620664344844603392

Lazy_Liberal posted:

it don't work