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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



Who will battle The Beast at Royal Rumble?
This past Monday night’s Raw main event should have decided Brock Lesnar’s Universal Championship challenger at the 2018 Royal Rumble event on Sunday, Jan. 28. However, Braun Strowman and Kane’s hard-hitting bout quickly descended into chaos. Following a double count-out, neither Superstar emerged as The Beast’s challenger. So, who will rise to face The Conqueror?

Live on Raw, Lesnar returns to address the future of his championship — and the behemoths intent on capturing it.

Can Cedric Alexander make the most of his second chance?
After winning a “Second Chance” Fatal 4-Way Match this past Monday night on Raw, Cedric Alexander will now battle Drew Gulak on the forthcoming edition of Raw, with the winner of that contest going on to challenge Enzo Amore for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship.

Sasha Banks, Bayley & Mickie James get rematch against Absolution
Absolution defeated Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James at WWE Tribute to the Troops, but the trio battles Paige and her ruthless friends in a rematch tonight. With the entire Raw Women’s division cheering them on, can The Boss, The Huggable One and the six-time Women’s Champion prevail?

Seth Rollins battles Samoa Joe tonight
One week after Samoa Joe defeated Dean Ambrose, The Lunatic Fringe’s Shield brother Seth Rollins will have a chance at retribution when he continues his longstanding rivalry with The Samoan Submission Machine tonight, live on Raw.

“Woken Warriors” assemble
Matt Hardy is “Woken,” and he’s ready for war … a Great War, in fact. The unusual Superstar continues his labyrinthine verbal exchanges with Bray Wyatt, each more bizarre than the last. Will Hardy and The Eater of Words collide in physical combat, or will the bewildering tirades continue?

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Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

I can't believe next week is gonna be a live show on xmas day.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I can't believe next week is gonna be a live show on xmas day.

Seriously, I know back in the day it used to be a big wrestling night but I can't imagine the ratings are gonna be any good.

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

I can't believe next week is gonna be a live show on xmas day.

USA Network wanted live programming iirc, it wasnt a WWE decision apparently.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice
Here comes a guy who sucks.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?
"Until then, I promise..."
BRAUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
i feel like nothing important has happened in the wwe for the entire year

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

Bill Goldberg posted:

i feel like nothing important has happened in the wwe for the entire year

It's because they spent all year on Roman noodle man.

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice
Finally, a good promise, that's kept immediately!

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?

Shima Honnou posted:

Here comes a guy who sucks.

I wish he were a heel so we could be Kurt yelling at the crowd again. Pair him with Gulak so we can get a "No Chanting" team.

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
oh boy its kane. :geno:

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
doesnt the champ usually face Bob Holly at the rumble

Codependent Poster
Oct 20, 2003

I feel like Kane needs to move away from the tights.

SatansOnion
Dec 12, 2011

Bill Goldberg posted:

i feel like nothing important has happened in the wwe for the entire year

Look, we all know how delicate Brock is, and how he needs at least two months of largely solitary moose-suplexing to recover from each highly stressful ten-minute TV appearance

e: like, as soon as he’s backstage again he’ll be off to the Canadian wilds to headbutt bears to death until the anxiety passes

SatansOnion fucked around with this message at 02:11 on Dec 19, 2017

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



Mulaney Power Move
Dec 30, 2004

i haven't really watched raw since football season and i know this probably predates that, but they really need to bring back pyro. how much does it really cost to buy some god drat chinee fireworks.

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
this is the worst writing in the history of writing

Rhonne
Feb 13, 2012

Do you want to know what we do to artists?
Ha, I enjoy Kurt getting the gently caress out of dodge.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

....why didn't Finn Balor jump Brock from behind and shoot-hijack the show till he gets his title match? :confused:

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice
Braun versus Braun versus Kane. 9 star match.

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
Thanks for coming Brock.

Oh Snapple!
Dec 27, 2005

lol what even

bradzilla
Oct 15, 2004

Brock botched picking up Kane

HitTheTargets
Mar 3, 2006

I came here to laugh at you.
I like Kurt speed-running his catchphrase so he can get out of the ring with a quickness.

Fluffy Bunnies
Jan 10, 2009

so lesnar's going to win at rumble ok

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Rhonne posted:

Ha, I enjoy Kurt getting the gently caress out of dodge.

"fuckithereismyannouncementgoodnighteverybody"

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

Rhonne posted:

Ha, I enjoy Kurt getting the gently caress out of dodge.

"ohitstrueitsdamntrue *runs away*"

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Fluffy Bunnies posted:

so lesnar's going to win at rumble ok

With one F5.

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

"Kane just sat up from an F5" *like thirty seconds later*

TheKingslayer
Sep 3, 2008

That was dumb as gently caress.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Intruder posted:

"Kane just sat up from an F5" *like thirty seconds later*

That would almost be enough time for Shane McMahon to stop arguing with Bryan and attempt another count.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



burn it down

Shayna Baszler
Oct 24, 2001

i'll always take care of you
Muldoon
freaking

Shima Honnou
Dec 1, 2010

The Once And Future King Of Dicetroit

College Slice
Did I hallucinate or did crowd chant burn it down

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?

Nobody cares about your youtube views, WWE, nobody is that stup-
Looks at WWE share price

Oh right... :sigh:

DarkstarIV
Apr 6, 2010

OFFICIAL RACIST
Wow Samoa Joe got thin. And more whiny.

Abroham Lincoln
Sep 19, 2011

Note to self: This one's the good one



samoa jordan

dromal phrenia
Feb 22, 2004

yay its jason jordan!

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dromal phrenia
Feb 22, 2004

also whats uuuuup my PSPEEPS? that sure was an easy decision for kurt, huh? sorry i wasn't around to post BBBBRRRRRAAAAAAAAUUUUUUNNNNNN with you

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