• Mojo Rawley defeated Zack Ryder on the Pre-Show
  
  
• Dolph Ziggler defeated Baron Corbin (C) and Bobby Roode to win the United States Championship
  
  
• The Usos (C) retained their Tag Team Titles vs Shelton Benjamin and Chad Gable, The New Day & Rusev Day.
  
  
• Charlotte Flair (C) retained her Women's Title against Natalya in a Lumberjack Match
  
  
• The Bludgeon Brothers murdered Breezango. RIP Breezango.
  
  
• Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn defeated Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura, with Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan as special guest referees.
  
  
  
  
• AJ Styles (C) retained his WWE Title against Jinder Mahal, presumably ending The Jinder Experiment for good.
  

• Kurt Angle came out to address the lack of a resolution to last week's main event. Braun and then Kane came out to state definitively that they wanted the title shot against Brock. Paul Heyman came out and introduced Brock, so Kurt extremely quickly announced it would be a Triple Threat at the Rumble and then got the gently caress out of dodge.
  
  
• Brock knocked Braun out of the ring, blocked a chokeslam by Kane and F5ed him before leaving. In-ring, Kane sat up which seemed to surprise Brock.
  
  
• Seth Rollins was supposed to fight Samoa Joe but Jason Jordan came out instead to insist he was done asking for a shot at Joe. Joe said he'd be happy to watch them beat each other up, and after Jordan attacked Seth the match was made official and Joe settled in at ringside to watch.
  
  
• After a match that felt like it lasted forever, Seth Rollins defeated Jason Jordan. Joe got involved right at the end but Seth was able to superkick him and then escape a roll-up to hit his Knee Finisher on Jordan and get the win. Joe jumped him afterwards (as he'd straight up said he would), left him laying and knocked out Jordan for good measure on his way up the ramp.
  
  
• Backstage Seth was furious and wanted his match against Joe tonight. Dean had finally shown up and didn't really seem to know what was going on. Jordan also showed up furious, so Kurt Angle booked a six man tag of Seth, Dean and Jordan vs Joe and The Bar.
  
  
• Bray Wyatt did a promo acknowledging Woken Matt and mimicking his laugh and catchphrases, but warning that it's all fun and games till somebody gets hurt, which is what he intends to do.
  
  
• Finn Balor won a handicap match against Curtis Axel and Bo Dallas by DQ when they both just started putting the boots to him when he looked like winning. Hideo Itami came to Finn's aide and they cleared the ring.
  
  
• Hideo and Finn defeated Bo and Curtis in a tag match.
  
  
• Enzo came to the ring with Drew Gulak (who compared himself favorably to Jar Jar Binks) and then joined the commentary table for the match against Cedric Alexander. Cedric defeated Gulak to gain a title shot against Enzo. Enzo would not shut up on commentary during the match until he suddenly got enthralled with his phone and wandered off.
  
  
• Enzo met with Nia Jax backstage, saying she had sent him a DM. As they tried to flirt, Gulak burst in to apologize for his loss. Nia left, and a cockblocked Enzo blew up at Drew who was trying to figure out where he went wrong.
  
  
• Asuka (after far too long) defeated Alicia Fox in a rematch. The crowd chanted,"ASUKA'S GONNA KILL YOU!" at the start of the match.
  
  
• Samoa Joe and the Bar defeated Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Jason Jordan. The ending felt rushed after Seth apparently accidentally hurt and possibly injured Dean with a dive to the outside.
  
  
• Stephanie McMahon showed up in a limo
  
  
• Woken Matt Hardy defeated the reincarnated spirit of Napoleon Bonaparte inside a fish at a game of chess. I love Woken Matt Hardy.
  
  
• Joe and the Bar attacked Seth and Dean backstage, with Joe jamming Ambrose's arm into a production crate and warning Seth that he is never safe.
  
  
• The Revival made their return, having a match against Heath Slater and Rhyno. Titus Worldwide were watching backstage, including Dana who has embraced her role as their statistician. Revival won the match handily.
  
  
• Kurt Angle met with Heath and Rhyno backstage and told them they needed to toughen up. He left and a frantic Heath thought they were getting fired, but Rhyno said Kurt was talking about toughening him up... and Rhyno knew exactly how to accomplish that.
  
  
• Elias announced he was going to win the Royal Rumble, made some Tom Brady jokes, and tried to dedicate a song to Roger Goodell before being interupted by Sasha Banks, then Mickie James and then Bayley. By that point he gave up and left.
  
  
• Absolution vs Sasha, Mickie and Bayley ended on a DQ when Absolution wouldn't stop triple-teaming. Nia Jax came out and beat up Sonja and Mandy and hit a double Samoan Drop on them. Paige managed to take out Nia's knee and they started triple-teaming Nia, but then the rest of the women's division came out and they started a brawl.
  
  
• Stephanie McMahon came out as well and everybody stopped fighting. She announced a Woman's Royal Rumble.
  

• Daniel Bryan came out to talk up the announcement at the end of Raw that there would be a Woman's Royal Rumble. Shane McMahon came out and agreed it was a big deal, but wanted to talk about Clash of Champions. Shane insisted he did nothing wrong and demanded an explanation from Bryan for HIS actions. Bryan replied he was protecting Shane from himself, and the crowd chanted,"THANK YOU, DANIEL!"
  
  
• Daniel reminded Shane that they had a shared vision of Smackdown as a Land of Opportunity, and that opportunity was for everyone and NOT just for people he liked. Shane told him he's regret trusting Sami and Kevin and warned him not to play favorites and think about what was best for business. Bryan just loving hammered him with the fact he was turning into Vince McMahon, and told him if he wanted to fire anybody he should fire Bryan. Shane wished Bryan luck running the show and told him he trusted him.
  
  
• Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin defeated The Usos in a non-title match, completely clean.
  
  
• Charlotte came to the ring to talk about the Women's Royal Rumble announcement, and said she would be waiting to face the winner at Wrestlemania. Naomi came out to announce she was entering herself in the Rumble and would see Charlotte at Wrestlemania. The Riott Squad came out and Naomi talked trash and challenged two of them to face her and Charlotte in a tag match tonight.
  
  
• Naomi and Charlotte defeated Ruby Riott and Sarah Logan in a tag match, with Naomi pinning Logan and stepping over her corpse as she and Charlotte celebrated in the ring.
  
  
• The New Day dressed up as an elf, a reindeer and whatever the hell Kofi was and handed out flapjacks and shirts backstage. They bumped into Rusev dressed as Santa Claus and Aiden English dressed as a snowman. Rusev declared he only had a naughty list and everybody was on it, but quickly assured a panicked English this didn't include him. Rusev stomped on BIG E's flapjacks while shouting,"PTOOEY ON YOUR PANCAKES" and an enraged BIG E accepted his challenge.
  
  
• Dolph Ziggler came out with his US Title, went over his prior US, IC and World Title victories, then announced that the crowd wasn't worthy of his presence. He'd give them something to remember him by - he dropped the title to the mat and then walked out without a word.
  
  
• Sami and Kevin met Daniel Bryan backstage and gave him champagne, which he politely declined. They agreed he didn't do it JUST for them and assumed he had wanted revenge on Randy Orton. Bryan told them they were delusional, and if they didn't go get ready for their match maybe he's consider firing them himself.
  
  
• The New Day won an incredibly entertaining tag match against Rusev Day. Words don't do it justice, it was so much fun.
  
  

  Abroham Lincoln posted:

  
  

  
  
• AJ Styles, Randy Orton and Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Jinder Mahal, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn in a six man tag. The Singh Brothers tried to get involved, got ejected, returned and got murdered by Orton before AJ hit the Forearm on Owens (with assist from Orton) and Shinsuke hit the Kinshasa on Sami and got the pin.
  
  
• The show ended with the three faces posing to the crowd.
  

Jerusalem fucked around with this message at 10:28 on Dec 21, 2017