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quote:Mom and Dad
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 07:15 |
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# ? Nov 2, 2024 18:59 |
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"There is NO Dream Too extreme!" —Chris Robinson, writing on the front page of my copy of this book quote:Chris Robinson is an aspiring filmmaker, and accomplished actor, author and songwriter, who grew up in the world of George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, Marvel Comics, John Wayne and church. However, it is this wonderful diverse world, which propelled Chris to write this sweeping epic. Chris Robinson is an interesting man with some interesting ideas. War of the Archangels is not his first book (whose cover shares a bizarre attribute with this book's, if you look for it), but it might as well be - before, he had written mainly to entertain, but here he is gripped by inescapable purpose, a drive that renders any previous work irrelevant and insignificant. This is a book that exists to enlighten the world with Chris Robinson's strange take on Christian cosmology, an explication of the workings and history of realms beyond our own. He is here to teach, if you will only listen. Appropriately, given the task that he has taken on in writing his book and its significance to him, Robinson begins with a brief introduction laying out the theories and inspirations that brought him to this point, titled "Knowledge Quest: The Author's Introduction". He starts with a trite and long-winded picture of society's spiritual thirst and confusion before getting to the heart of his aims: Page x posted:For centuries these questions have been simmering in the hearts of mankind, but as of late, that simmer has become a boiling pot, with billions of people demanding the answers. I guess this is why I wrote this book to give the reader a behind the scenes look at what was happening from God's perspective. I wanted to go back, way back to the earliest ages ... but what were the earliest ages? Unsurprisingly, Robinson finds his answers in the book of Genesis. Surprisingly, he is not a young-Earth Creationist: Page x posted:Now there are some good Christian people, who are very sincere in their belief that the Earth is only 10,000 years old, and that humans lived at the same time as the dinosaurs, and Paleolithic men, such as the Neanderthal man, are a myth. I am truly sorry to disagree, but I just don't get that line of thinking? According to Paleontologist, (People way smarter than me in this area) dinosaurs walked this planet by the tens of thousands, in herds as mighty as the buffalo of the old West. And these beasts were ferocious killing machines ... the Steven Spielberg movie, Jurassic Park is spot on! I am afraid that we humans would have been an after lunch and before dinner snack for almost any living creature of that time. No, what Robinson proposes is decidedly different, hinging on Genesis 1:1-2: Page xi posted:The word formless and or empty in the Hebrew language is tohu, which is a VERB that means "Lays To Waste." Whoa! That changes everything about this passage. So it should read ... "In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth, and the earth was laid to waste!" And here Robinson embarks on a logical journey that will take us to a very odd place once the story begins. The pages he spends on his argument can be summarized very briefly: the book of Revelation describes Heaven and spirits in physical terms, and thus they have their own physical substance and space. In short, they occupy physical dimensions: Page xiv posted:Physicists have proven that extra dimensions, and the ability to tunnel into them really do exist. It's been proven that there are eleven dimensions, most of which we cannot yet traverse. By accessing the wormholes embedded in the space-time continuum one is able to move from universe to universe with ease, that is if you are an Angel made of spirit substance. How does he know that angels (or Angels) can do this? Such an appearance was a profound influence on the writing of this very book: Page xv posted:One night while sleeping I felt as if someone had called my name and I began to float out of my bed. I think it was more of a vision, but at the same time I was not sure. I went through an opening, which was located at the end of my bed and was suddenly inside a new dimension. The sky, if that's what it was, was cobalt blue and the light was an astonishing peach, and there were billowing clouds of crimson smoke. Standing before me was an Angel, who stood some 15 feet tall and he wasn't playing games. He wore some kind of tunic type of out fit, kind of like Luke in Star Wars, he had blonde hair and his eyes were as flaming cut diamonds. He glowed from the inside out, much like a night light, but it was a surging raging kind of light, but not brilliant, meaning he did not radiate causing me to go blind. I was not sure what was happening ... at first I thought I'd eaten too many fries and burgers and had a heart attack and I was on my way out. Then I thought I was having a Paul type experience, either way I asked the Angel a question. "Are you taking me to Heaven? Excuse me, are you taking me to Heaven?" He did not respond, but I did notice he had his hand on the hilt of a mighty big sword and seemed fixated upon something, something "out there". Then I heard a voice say, "The writing of your book as brought you undesired attention, and he is here to protect you." BAM, I was back in my bed. After this intriguing episode, Robinson moves on to the topic of distinguishing angels from demons. Angels, he argues, retain their physical bodies in the spiritual world, but demons have been cast out of theirs. This is why angels can appear as themselves on Earth but demons must possess hosts. Following a brief digression about Nephilim and the book of Enoch (according to Robinson's reading of Enoch, the "fallen, totally corrupt, evil DNA" of fallen angels, not yet bodiless demons, combined with human DNA to "create one ugly mess" in the Nephilim) and a plug for his website warofthearchangels.com (now gone and sadly absent from the Wayback's archives), he wraps up with a description of Satan's evil - he's really bad, you guys, so bad that "he'd make Hitler look like your Aunt May" - and concludes his introduction with these heartening words: Page xx posted:This book takes much of what I have learned and adds the impartation from God's mouth to my brain. It's what I call "Plausible Fiction", meaning the story is plausible, but it is a story. So get yourself a cup of coffee, or a glass of ice tea, or head to your local coffee house and get lost in the War Of The Archangels ... Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 05:17 on Dec 21, 2017 |
# ? Dec 20, 2017 08:42 |
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High-tailing it to the Plausible Fiction section of my nearest brick-and-mortal bookshop.
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 13:56 |
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I am so down for this.
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 15:43 |
I am positively mesmerized. Please do go on.
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 19:12 |
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Sham bam bamina! posted:"There is NO Dream Too extreme" So, is this the Black Crowes Chris Robinson? Because if it's not, I'm just going to choose to believe that it is.
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 19:20 |
For once, I'm not the one reading the terrible book for a thread!
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 20:22 |
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chitoryu12 posted:For once, I'm not the one reading the terrible book for a thread! <radio> No, chitoryu12. You are the terrible book.
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# ? Dec 20, 2017 23:56 |
This looks amazing.
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# ? Dec 21, 2017 02:24 |
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After the introduction is a "preface" whose pages have Roman numerals like the introduction, but it comes after the title page and is part of the novel's narrative, so I don't know why Robinson didn't just make it the first chapter. After a brief paragraph of scene-setting, the preface gets down to business and describes the, uh, governance of the spiritual world: Page xxiii posted:The sons of God were the practitioners of scientific wisdom, the curators of creation, building civilizations on terrestrial planets all under the Galactic Empire known as the United Federation of Kingdom Nations. The keepers of ancient creation, the rulers of the multiple universes were the Seven Kings Of Wisdom, whose job it was to impart the secrets of design to the Archangels at the Academy of Delphia. Each planet was ruled over by a Senate, the Archangel of that system assuming the role of the Supreme Chancellor. The Supreme Chancellor would appoint a Secretary General to one of the four Counsels of Law and Justice: The Counsel of Corinth, the Counsel of Draco, the Counsel of Lyra, and the Counsel of Orion, who in turn would report to the Supreme Counsel of Cherub Elders, who would report to the Absolute Trinity. See, if the spaceships on the cover didn't tip you off, the physical dimensions of spiritual space mean that these spiritual beings rely on physical technology, and given their eons of advancement compared to humanity, this means that we're in for some full-bore science fiction. And if Robinson's persistence in using "counsel" in place of "council" bothers you, this is going to be rough going; his righting has quite the pension for malapropisms. At least he doesn't confuse "capital" and "capitol" like Suzanne Collins. The preface picks up quickly, though, with a genuinely fascinating account of Creation. I will give Robinson this much credit: no matter how crazy the things he imagines get, and no matter how sloppily he writes them down, he definitely gets you to see them. This is the most vividly written awful book I've read since Dragons: Lexicon Triumvirate, with the additional benefit of being filtered through Chris Robinson's wide-eyed glee instead of Kenneth Eng's condescending self-importance. Before I get to Creation, though, I want to take a brief look at the preparations for this process: Page xxv posted:The Angels enter through the door of enlightenment, symbolized by two shimmering pillars of burnished gold and kiss the pulsating Sword of the Kingdom Nations, the Sword Of Yeshua. Enough of that. There's a supernaturally grandiose procession - whose transcription I'll limit to the phrase "Lucifer swaggered out in front, while Michael, Uriel, Gabriel, and Raphael marched right behind him" - toward "the Lord of Host" at the heart of Heaven: Page xxvi posted:Within the mathematically arranged metropolis resided a Temple Pyramid so enormous and geometrically perfect that the mere gaze upon the structure produced feelings of fright and tingling flashes of joy. Angels bowed in awe as enormous arcs of magnificent light burst high in the sky surrounding the Thrones, which seemed to hover above the apex of gold, supported by lightening and a power surging mist. The Absolute, the Word, and raging Spirit of Living fire sat upon these most astounding thrones. Gargantuan pillars of white light burned with fury from the eyes of the Father, as he over looked the complex maze of tens of thousands of towering buildings. After about a page's worth of further description, we finally reach the scene's destination, the Big Bang: Pages xxvii-xxix posted:"Let There Be Light." Once the Earth itself comes into being, Robinson's Creation account becomes a significantly less entertaining lecture on the anthropic principle, but even that doesn't detract from the infectious rush of this cosmic event (of which I've transcribed about half). If the average sci-fi author believed even half as much in what they wrote as Robinson does, the genre would be a much more interesting realm. (On the other hand, they might just end up writing Battlefield Earth, so never mind.) But, of course, this is the story of a war, and every story needs an inciting incident: Pages xxx-xxxi posted:Lucifer, the chief Archangel of the Supreme Counsel of Cherub Elders, became obsessed with himself, enchanted at his own voice, enamored by his own beauty, drunk by his own power, lusting after the adoration given unto the Trinity. The shroud of pride fell upon Lucifer, as did the hatred for the future plans. God had to make a creation called man, who would be infused with the Trinity's Divine DNA, making them true sons of God. Lucifer's heart became bitterly black, a sullen wasteland of wicked sin, causing his very molecular structure to become infused with sulfur bacterium, which began to eat at his actual being. Rumors and smear campaigns were unleashed upon key members of Heaven, as back room deals, done in the shadow of lies cancer, propelled Lucifer into the realm of being thought of as an Emperor. This strife led to political lectures, demonstrations, walkouts, and Anti-Yeshua Rallies. Uneasiness swept across the Kingdom as Angles by the billions defected from the ranks of the United Federation of Kingdom Nations and joined Lucifer's cause. [...] Lucifer became a mighty hunter before the LORD, with a ruthlessness lust for power. These passages, aside from the bewildering shifts in their narrative distance and the tone of their imagery ("Anti-Yeshua Rallies"?), illustrate the single most baffling aspect of this book to me: What unearthly word processor is Robinson using? When "Angles by the billions" defect and Lucifer gains a "ruthlessness lust for power", it seems that Robinson let his spell checker correct every word he typed without oversight. But the book's swarms of proper nouns can't possibly all be in the spell checker's dictionary, so that means that he had to manually approve or discard its emendations. And how is it that Lucifer "succeeded" from the Federation while his Alliance "seceded" in the same sentence? I have never seen such inexplicable patternlessness of error in any other text. Whatever the cause of his technical lapses, Robinson at least knows enough about writing to end his preface on description instead of exposition: Page xxxi posted:With their sin the Angelic armies that stood against God were given new names and identities. The very nature of sin corrupted their DNA and the rebellious Angels from the lead Counsel of Draco were turned into Draco-Reptilians known as Draconians. The Draconians lost their Angelic looks and were turned into hideous Red Dragons. They became shape-shifters and resided on the now poisoned planet Rahab. Lucifer himself was turned into a repulsive, shape-shifting Serpentine-Dragon, who's name was now Satan. He was transformed from being the most beautiful Angel of all to a lizard like dark scaly skinned sorcerer, a dark god, who wore a black hooded robe to hide his intent. He was the most malevolent, depraved being in all of creation, pure evil, pure ungodliness, and pure wickedness. He breathed rage and bled hate, his thoughts were decadent and his lust for blood relentless, his abhorrence for God was endless and he burned with fury for total revenge. The lesser Angels from the Counsel of Orion were transformed into small hairless creatures with huge egg shaped heads, known as Grey's, and the Sebeth Order from the Counsel of Lyra, were turned into humanoid sea monsters. Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 00:00 on Dec 22, 2017 |
# ? Dec 21, 2017 07:12 |
quote:back room deals, done in the shadow of lies cancer quote:shadow of lies cancer Please tell me this goes on to the modern times and aliens are in fact fallen angels. e: Also, isn't "Imperialist resistance" a particularly stupid oxymoron?
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# ? Dec 21, 2017 13:56 |
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quote:God had to make a creation called man, who would be infused with the Trinity's Divine DNA, making them true sons of God. quote:Lucifer's heart became bitterly black, a sullen wasteland of wicked sin, causing his very molecular structure to become infused with sulfur bacterium, which began to eat at his actual being For a hyper intelligent being, Lucifer didn't notice the miasmic humors affecting him (any medicine of sufficient advancement is indistinguishable from medieval medicine). I'm willing to bet his spirit-blood pH was out of whack as well. So much to unpack in those quoted passages.
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# ? Dec 21, 2017 14:09 |
This is the "drunken James Joyce" people were promised in my Furlites of Aroriel thread! And yeah, I'm not sure I have any plans to return to that book. It's just becoming so hard to read I can't even get entertainment out of it.quote:United Federation of Kingdom Nations Ah, the UFKN (pronounced "You-Fuckin").
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# ? Dec 21, 2017 15:16 |
Am I the only one who finds the imagery of a bunch of fallen angels with signs protesting outside God's palace hilarious?
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# ? Dec 21, 2017 15:17 |
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I can't imagine it was too hard for God's law enforcement angels to sniff out potential wrongdoing since the bad guys literally smell like egg farts. Also gently caress yeah reptile spacemen. I'm so down.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 00:05 |
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chitoryu12 posted:This is the "drunken James Joyce" people were promised in my Furlites of Aroriel thread! Except that the style here isn't very similar to Joyce at all.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 00:54 |
A human heart posted:Except that the style here isn't very similar to Joyce at all. Yes please provide accurate literary criticism to my joke about a crazy person’s religious sci-fi book.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 01:16 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Yes please provide accurate literary criticism to my joke about a crazy person’s religious sci-fi book.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 01:27 |
Sham bam bamina! posted:Please stop posting about yourself. I was talking about this book.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 01:49 |
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this rules, please post it all
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 03:01 |
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Welp, Firefox crashed and took my FINISHED post with it. Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Dec 22, 2017 |
# ? Dec 22, 2017 03:28 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Yes please provide accurate literary criticism to my joke about a crazy person’s religious sci-fi book. I don't think it's a very good joke if the book looks nothing like Joyce at all
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 04:39 |
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A human heart posted:I don't think it's a very good joke if the book looks nothing like Joyce at all Fucks sake. The point isn't that it looks like Joyce. It's that the story so far appears to the be a fevered stream of consciousness by a religious nut. It's not that long of a walk to make a middling joke (the connecting tissue being "stream of consciousness" if you need it spelled out). You're either being deliberately obtuse or you're an idiot.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 04:45 |
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Shush, shush! It's story time!
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 05:18 |
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At long last, we finally reach... Chapter 1.Page 1 posted:Before the ages of time in the Kingdom Nations of God, there was war ... I'm at a loss as to how a war across galaxies begins with a beach landing, but I'll actually give Robinson the benefit of the doubt with "West of the Panzerail Galaxy" - it isn't hard to imagine the holy capital in the preface as the reference point for cardinal directions in space. Then again, while I don't know yet if these cardinal directions include "up" and "down", I somehow doubt that Robinson has thought that far in imagining this world. And, as the "Tusken" beaches and deepening references to space politics hint, what he has imagined isn't entirely his own anyway... But we have more pressing concerns, like the establishment of principal characters: Page 1 posted:On the Galactic Station, Icon XII Raphael, a member of the famed Guardian Knights, keeps watch over the Imperial Palace of Jandella. He gazes out the bay window with Rush, an indigo Eagle sitting on his shoulder and Shebam, a pure white panther by his side, which he strokes gently. Raphael beholds the beauty of the blue planet as Transport Ships come and go in an apparent endless stream of activity. He quietly longs for a return of Rahab, the heart of the Angelic civilization. However, the seat of the rebellion is now centered there. Raphael ties his formidable sword of crystallite fire around his robe sash and turns to find Anton standing in front of him. Anton is one of the "Courier's", who have bodies of "crystal gold" and "are among the few Angles that actually have biological wings". He's come because he has "sensed [...] some kind of distress", which Raphael confirms: Page 2 posted:"I can't pinpoint any one concentration of evil among the Council, yet the darkness is strong there. It's maddening." Yeah, no prizes for guessing Chris Robinson's favorite movie franchise. The conversation quickly digresses into a murky expostulation on the Trinity and Raphael's destiny before "alarms and buzzards" mercifully interrupt. Anticipating "excitement of some sort", Anton and Raphael "run and glare fiercely out the huge bay window" before enacting this scene: Page 3 posted:Through a bio-electro-telepathic implant Raphael projects a crystal holographic projection grid from his open hand, which connects him to the bridge. "Royal Shield to the Bridge." While the station is readying its "Mercury Guns", the enemy's opening barrage momentarily shuts the power down with an explosion. Raphael and Anton take to their "Esoteric fighters" alongside their fellow Guardian Knights to do battle with the attacking "Venom fighters": Page 4 posted:Raphael closes in on the Venom fighters with tremendous mind numbing speeds and without hesitation it's on. Unfortunately, this military assault is a distraction from the machinations of the "Ascended Masters" on Jandella. I realize that this next excerpt will probably feel staid after that riveting action, but I just love how hard Robinson commits to a stupid, stupid idea here: Pages 4-5 posted:Far from the battle, on the planets surface, Bal Ram Pompe sits with the Ascended Masters at the round table of law; they are Virgo, who's name means, 'Promised Seed': Libra, who's name means, 'The Redeemers Atoning Work': Scorpio, who's name means, 'The Redeemers Conflict': Sagittarius, who's name means, 'The Redeemers Triumph': Capricorns, who's name means, 'The Redeemers Suffering': Aquarius, who's name means, 'The Blessing Assured': Pisces, who's name means, 'Blessing In Abeyance': Aries, who's name means, 'Blessings Consummated': Taurus, who's name means, 'Messiahs Coming Rule': Gemini, who's name means, 'Messiah As Prince Of Princes': Cancer, who's name means, 'Messiahs Redeemed Possessions': and Leo, who's name means, 'The Prophecy Of Triumph Fulfilled'. You thought you knew the signs of the zodiac, but you thought wrong! Anyway, the Ascended Masters are on Jandella to win Bal Ram Pompe over to Satan's cause. They spend a full page or so telling Pompe that God fears Satan's power and that this power can make Pompe a god himself. Pompe doesn't even make a token objection: Page 6 posted:Pompe sits back in his ivory throne, gazing at his Senate Ring and the six inch purple sash draped over his tunic. "I want total control ... I want Palatine at my side and be treated as the god I am." Pompe does have some practical concerns, though: Page 6 posted:"Blanor will not stand for this.... and if you touch him you will draw the wrath of Michael. And what of Jandella himself?" So while this Jedi's off in the Outer Rim, they're sending Zuckuss to help execute Order 66 and... ugh, it's so blatant at this point! Meanwhile, the tide of battle is turning for the worse: Page 6 posted:Far above Jandella, Majestic Fire finds themselves overwhelmed by the Aquarian Cruisers and Venom fighters. Raphael turns back to Icon XII to fight the boarding party. Once in the landing bay, he "vaults from his fighter", because we're cribbing specific shots from Star Wars now. He meets up with Anton, and they charge into the fray. Here, Robinson throws a curveball by briefly making Raphael an anime character: Page 7 posted:Raphael opens his palm and unleashes an inferno by discharging an atomic wave blast, which instantly dematerializes anything it touches. Raphael and Anton are "penned down" temporarily by "nitro laser fire", but they manage to escape and "take out the computer exchanges and detonate every Thermo Nuclear fuel storage depot" rather than letting the station fall into enemy hands. Before long, they run into... oh, who am I kidding? He's a Sith, albeit armed with the Highlander's sword instead of a lightsaber: Page 8 posted:Zendark, a most formidable foe and former Guardian Knight meets them. [...] Anton jumps in front of Zendark, but is thwacked aside like he's nothing. Raphael pulls out his sword of fire and clashes with Zendark's sword causing an electrical blast of power that sends a shower of electrically charged sparks everywhere. Zendark punctuates his feelings with repeated slams of his sword and sidekicks, until Raphael sags and falls unconscious. Darth Vader then boards the station: Page 8 posted:Suddenly the main blast doors blow open and the Imperialist forces enter, shooting any and all United Federation personnel of God that make a move upon them. Then through the smoke enters General Jupiter wearing his Satanic Empire uniform, a black suit of armor with a red sash draped over his left shoulder that has the satanic insignia embroidered on it. And that's Chapter 1. If you think that ripping off Star Wars is a boring way for a book to be bad, don't worry, because Chapter 2 is going to be a whole new kind of silly. Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 07:05 on Dec 22, 2017 |
# ? Dec 22, 2017 05:18 |
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Spelling and punctuation is completely optional for this guy, isn't it?
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 05:24 |
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Proteus Jones posted:Fucks sake. But it doesn't read like stream of conciousness at all, it's fairly straightforward descriptions of things happening(the things just happen to be theological and somewhat eccentric).
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 08:06 |
quote:going from organized chaos to psycho insanity in just a matter of moments. Was he talking about the fight or his book?
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 14:21 |
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Welp, Firefox crashed and took my FINISHED post with it.
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 22:45 |
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i desperately want to meet this author irl, he sounds like a bundle of deranged joy
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# ? Dec 22, 2017 22:47 |
So this is Paradise Lost meets the Star Wars prequels. My God.
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# ? Dec 23, 2017 02:17 |
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Chapter 2, part the firstPage 9 posted:In the ages of antiquity past, magnificent Kingdoms rose from the lush terrain of the garden planet called Earth, only to align themselves with Satan, and disappear in total destruction. Five ages have existed on Earth before this sixth one. From the first Kingdom of enchanted creatures such as trolls, elves, dwarfs and gnomes, to the second kingdom of the Angels, which became corrupt and were given over to massive lizards, to the subsequent Kingdoms, where Humanoids ruled as Kings and co-mingled with the fallen Sons Of God. This sounds a lot like Theosophy, which is a pretty impressive left turn to take at this point. I'm surprised that Madame Blavatsky isn't in the book's dedication, although it's possible that Robinson just picked up this idea secondhand from one of the zillion people who are. The Guardian Knight Steven is riding his pegasus, Cherub, to "the Sixth Sector" of "the North Valley" - we're apparently on Earth, but don't ask me where. Pages 9-10 posted:Mammoth plant eating dinosaurs fill the valley. From Brachiosaurus, who towers over the tress, to Argentinasaurus, who is twice the size of the Brachiosaurus, to Triceratops and Pleurocoelus ... herds of dinosaurs of all kinds roam to and fro, eating and interacting with each other in some kind of Jurassic style neighborhood. Steven isn't going to Andoria, though. He and Cherub touch down in the forest, but it isn't long before a mysterious voice telling them to "Take Heed" stops them in their tracks. Steven "tries to contain the pined up restless energy, which lay's beneath his calm exterior", and he and Cherub continue to a pool of water, where a shadow passes overhead while Cherub is drinking. "We must go Master Steven," Cherub helpfully tells the Guardian Knight. (Cherub is a talking pegasus.) Pages 10-11 posted:Steven rides on, but is so ever burdened by the heavy silence ... a thick mist has settled down around him, which drives his thoughts to the countless rumors that the rebellion has entered Earth itself. Steven wonders to himself if the humanoids will stay loyal to God. Then there is the city of EnSidious, which sits beyond the Towers of Nefarious in the land of Vegan. The unsettling rumor is that the dark gods reside there now, ruled by Lord Iniquitous and his Dark Wizard, Melagate. If all this is true, then the rebellion has just taken another twist. I refuse to comment. The shadowy creature that's been following Steven chooses this moment to attack. Robinson mentions in passing that it's a "one time Cherub", which means that we have a pegasus named Cherub and actual cherubs in the same story. After a brief struggle, the two separate and face each other down: Page 11 posted:Standing before him is a monstrous eight-foot tall beast, who has a dragons body, the face of an Angel, long black hair, like that of a lion's main, teeth of a tiger, the tail of a scorpion, including a 14 inch spike of fire protruding at the end, not to mention powerful scale covered wings. Dur~Kran (note that no part of this "Reptilian-Insectoid" is actually likened to an insect) maintains that he is a god and that Steven can become one too if he joins "the Rebellion of Black Evil" under Satan. But Steven refuses, and they return to fighting: Page 11 posted:The furious conquer attacks like a frenzied storm of madness, pounding the smaller Angel all over the place. However, before he can strike, Dur~Kran is stopped by Michael, who has swooped in on his own winged horse, Sapphire: Page 12 posted:"Michael!" Dur~Kran and Michael argue for a bit, a conversation where Michael literally says, "I sense much fear in you," then fight. It's a pretty great fight, but I can't transcribe everything here. (If you really want to read it, buy the frickin' book, which I think goes without saying by now anyway.) No, we have more important things to cover: Pages 12-13 posted:From nowhere the heavy mist, which has settled in the area, begins to take form. From out of the murkiness a slithering shadow materializes and speaks in a repulsive tongue. There's more fighting. Michael eventually stops the beast and the bounty hunter by going Super Saiyan: Page 13 posted:Michael turns back to the creature and Dur~Kran, but has endured enough. Michael stands tall, his muscular body grows larger, his face becomes as a ridged cut diamond. A molecular transformation begins to take place within the Archangel, as his body turns into flaming crystallite, his face as lightning, his eyes swirl as a nuclear sun, his arms and legs like blazing lasers, his chest as a whirlwind of majestic power, and his voice is as the sea. I... I need a break. Chapter 2 will conclude next time. Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 05:59 on Dec 25, 2017 |
# ? Dec 23, 2017 09:30 |
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There's a style of writing that I'm seeing here and that shows up a lot in other amateur works, and I don't know if there's a name for it. It's like the author has imagined a film and is transcribing what happens onto the page. Everything in this book is described in terms of a thing that could happen on a camera, either because the author originally had an idea for a film and couldn't finance it, or because the author has seen lots and lots of films and not read very many books.
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# ? Dec 23, 2017 10:30 |
For all the respect he seems to have for paleontology and the ~magnificent~ dinosaurs, he does mention some species that weren't around during the Jurassic in his Jurassic neighborhood. Also, I can't help thinking that "mammoth dinosaurs" would actually be comparatively small to some those he mentioned... anilEhilated fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Dec 23, 2017 |
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# ? Dec 23, 2017 16:25 |
Whybird posted:There's a style of writing that I'm seeing here and that shows up a lot in other amateur works, and I don't know if there's a name for it. It's like the author has imagined a film and is transcribing what happens onto the page. Everything in this book is described in terms of a thing that could happen on a camera, either because the author originally had an idea for a film and couldn't finance it, or because the author has seen lots and lots of films and not read very many books. I think that’s exactly it. I wrote like that when I was 13. My brain is fighting against understanding this. All the words make sense, but it’s like he took LSD during a fever dream and transcribed the book over the course of a single night. Does he even remember writing this or did it appear fully formed in the morning like when Stephen King was on his cocaine benders?
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# ? Dec 23, 2017 16:44 |
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i don't care what any of you people say, this is powerful stuff and the man is a visionary
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# ? Dec 23, 2017 22:02 |
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Chapter 2, part the secondPage 13 posted:Across the black abyss in the Mystic Sea on the Angelic planet Rahab, concealed by the cloak of secret shadows, sits Babylon. This city of erotic evil is the center of Satan's rebellion. Rahab orbits between Mars and Jupiter, and it used to be "the very seat of worship in the star system" before Satan conquered it. Now, he controls it from "the Aquarian Pyramid", which is built from "massive sulfuric armored blocks" and guarded by "death towers" at its four corners. Within it is "the Temple of Mysticism", where "Darken Vampirism is practiced in the shadows of secrecy". All righty. Page 14 posted:The inner depth of the temple houses the Chamber of Darkness, this stygian black metallic room is where the Divine Masters sit. Encircling the table is the Octagon Altar of Wickedness, and sitting around the table are the Fallen Masters: Ra, Apollo, Jupiter, Dark Siege, Baal, Zeus, Incubus, Balberith, known as the bear, and the most vile and feared Angel other than Satan himself, the Angel of Death, Abaddon the Destroyer. Satan has appeared before this motley crew to give them a lengthy pep talk, but I'll just quote the good part: Page 15 posted:"Seize the darkness, take it in hand for THERE IS ONLY ONE GOD IN YOU, THAT IS THE LORD OF DESTRUCTION, SATAN, SO LET THE ANNIHILATION BEGIN!" Hell yeah! Zeus informs Satan that their minions have sent "the Oracles of Knowledge and the Sacred Scroll of Light" to Lord Iniquitous in the Kingdom of EnSidious - which, let's not forget, is in the land of Vegan. The good guys, naturally, are elsewhere: Page 15 posted:Just one planet from Satan's throne, sits the planet Mars, which houses the Covering Cherub and seat of all who worship unto Jehovah. Of course they're based in Cydonia. Of course they're responsible for both the "face" and "pyramids" there. Of course Robinson spends a page and a half marveling at this BS. Michael and Steven arrive in Michael's "transport fighter" (???) to investigate the disappearance of the Oracles and the Scroll, which turns out to very anachronistically be the Torah. (Or is the anachronism the point?) Gabriel is waiting for them, and he and Michael have a little moment: Page 17 posted:The Angels stand to attention as Gabriel and Michael, who are the best of friends, acknowledge each other. Michael respects Gabriel's unwavering integrity and boundless knowledge of the system of God. Gabriel loves Michael's brash inferno like zeal in defending Gods Kingdom, and feels just a little more at ease when he's around. I guess we know who wears the pants here. They join the angels Neptune and Mars for a briefing. Satan's forces are overwhelming and imprisoning Guardian Knights across the galaxies, including Raphael and Anton from the previous chapter. They'll have to wait a bit, since Michael is going to rescue Blanor first, a character who was barely mentioned in passing by one of the fallen zodiac angels. Robinson's is a tightly spun tale. Gabriel pulls up a hologram of the pyramid from the book's cover, which has the Oracles of Knowledge inscribed on it (about a Tumblr post's worth of text, going by the artwork): Page 17 posted:"The Oracles of Knowledge as a whole create The Matrix Code Of Existence, which indicate: Revelation by God's own Word, the Word itself being alive. The Oracles Of Knowledge materialize from the Word, Yeshua. These codes include: The Faith Codes, which deal with the substance of things: The DNA Codes, which deal with the genetic make up of biological life: The Prophetic Codes, which deal with points in time, action seen by God, but not by the Angel: And the Creation Codes, which deal with Quantum Physics and formulas that make up the dimensions and universal matter." Given that the text on the pyramid is Hebrew and that the dedication's Chuck Missler appears to be into Bible codes (his website was mentioned, so I gave it a look; it's the boring kind of loopy), I'm going to guess that these codes are Bible codes. I guess the Mars face wasn't already stupid enough. The angel Mars explains that DNA is also a code and projects some more holographic illustrations. The final one is "an extensive cylinder encoded with numeral matrixes and letters": Page 18 posted:"This cylinder or tunnel is the dimension of time, a concept new to us, but the expansive universe of terrestrial terrain resides within this dimension. Our parallel universe resides just beyond the mystic sea, trillions upon trillions of light years away. But embedded within the walls of time are Celestial gateways, in which we can vortex in and out instantaneously. God has used this system to place himself into that realm via His Word." Don't bother trying to understand. You can't. I've tried. In the end, it turns out that for Satan to create life of his own, he needs the Bible codes to work out the "key" to the code of DNA, which I don't quite believe works that way. The angels split up to search the galaxies and bring the codes back. Edit: Since that's not a very snappy way to end this post, here's a bit that I randomly flipped to: Page 59 posted:In the Land Of The Lions, the Grey's have constructed a massive factory that builds humanoid machines the locals call, the Metal People. The project known as T1-47 is designed to build humanoid machines called androids that are programmed to kill. These androids, officially called Slayers, are 7 feet tall, are made of titanium-alloyed steel, display crushing strength and carry a variety of weapons. Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 03:44 on Dec 25, 2017 |
# ? Dec 24, 2017 09:19 |
quote:The inner depth of the temple houses the Chamber of Darkness, this stygian black metallic room is where the Divine Masters sit. Encircling the table is the Octagon Altar of Wickedness, and sitting around the table are the Fallen Masters: Ra, Apollo, Jupiter, Dark Siege, Baal, Zeus, Incubus, Balberith, known as the bear, and the most vile and feared Angel other than Satan himself, the Angel of Death, Abaddon the Destroyer. ...Who? I also probably find it more amusing than I should that Jupiter is a bad guy while Mars and Neptune are loyal angels. Guy can't even decide his stance on pagan religions. e: Did he just throw in motherfucking Terminator?
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# ? Dec 24, 2017 09:35 |
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anilEhilated posted:I also probably find it more amusing than I should that Jupiter is a bad guy while Mars and Neptune are loyal angels. Guy can't even decide his stance on pagan religions. Sham bam bamina! fucked around with this message at 09:52 on Dec 24, 2017 |
# ? Dec 24, 2017 09:44 |
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# ? Nov 2, 2024 18:59 |
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Sham bam bamina! posted:Let's be fair. They're all angels, and some have fallen. As far as I can tell, this book posits that every pagan god of antiquity is actually an angel that people worshiped by mistake (cf. the end of the dedication). That's also what Milton does in Paradise Lost
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# ? Dec 24, 2017 10:53 |