- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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i mean i guess this diary i found on the bus probably doesn't have a complete dating advice picture
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Dec 23, 2017 04:26
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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Apr 26, 2024 04:03
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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What if she is involved with pizza gate.
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Dec 23, 2017 04:29
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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What if she is involved with pizza gate.
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#
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Dec 23, 2017 04:29
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- drilldo squirt
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a beautiful, soft meat sack
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What if I've smoked to much? What then?
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Dec 23, 2017 04:30
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- FluffieDuckie
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what if the guy meets me for coffee, frowns disapprovingly, and holds up a pantone swatch to me and says "you are slightly paler than you look in your profile photo" and i never get to be a part of his skin suit?
i don't want to seem cheap, but what if she orders off the regular menu instead of the dollar menu?
I guess it's ok, it is her birthday after all
Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!
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Dec 23, 2017 18:24
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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What if she's in a cult like in Damien and I'm in a cult like in the Leftovers?
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Dec 23, 2017 18:48
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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Five minutes into the date I cannot stop quoting Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
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Dec 23, 2017 20:03
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- Duckbox
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What if he says he made reservations but he means Indian reservations and he's Andrew Jackson and I'm a Cherokee?
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Dec 23, 2017 20:18
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- Duckbox
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What if I used the wrong app and she's actually a small piece of dried birch bark will she still gently caress me?
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#
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Dec 23, 2017 20:21
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- Duckbox
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What if we get to the restaurant and it's actually a creepy twilight zone shop that wasn't there yesterday and all the food is ghosts? Is it ok to ditch my date for the old shopkeep with long fingernails I have a fetish?
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Dec 23, 2017 20:25
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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what if the three of us simultaneously piss our pants?
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Dec 23, 2017 21:22
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- ShinyBirdTeeth
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sparkle sparkle sparkle
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She's a really nice nth dimensional thought cloud, but what if I'm not ready for non-Newtonian partnership?
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#
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Dec 23, 2017 21:27
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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what if the girl I've been messaging on tinder is actually my mom catfishing me just to make sure that I'm taking dating seriously enough?
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Dec 23, 2017 22:28
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- Olive!
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It's not a ghost, but probably a 'living corpse'. The 'living dead' with a hell of a lot of bloodlust...
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what if the three of us simultaneously piss our pants?
what if the three of us simultaneously piss each others pants
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Dec 23, 2017 22:30
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- Duckbox
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I'm worried we'll go to an Italian restaurant but when we get there all the tables and chairs will be Italian men bending over and the food will actually be Mexican and I'll eat too many beans and get gassy.
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#
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Dec 23, 2017 23:58
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- UWBW
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Permanently banned from the Alamo
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What if this is a sting operation designed do that Donald Trump can strap my sacred man- juice
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Dec 24, 2017 13:43
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- UWBW
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Permanently banned from the Alamo
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If I die on this date, please erase my computer history so that no one knows I searched "Is the clitoris a Mediterranean bird?"
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Dec 24, 2017 13:45
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- UWBW
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Permanently banned from the Alamo
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What if the date actually goes well? I have no contingency planned for this.
Sir this thread is for funny jokes not real concerns.
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Dec 24, 2017 13:56
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- Macnult
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They were holding a gun in all of their pictures which at the time didn't bother me. What if they're actually a gun and not over their ex?
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Dec 24, 2017 14:34
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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what if she really likes star wars except she has only seen the middle third of episode 2 attack of the clones and rejects everything that is not included in that period and she wants you to wear a jango fett costume to a comiccon
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Dec 24, 2017 17:15
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- alnilam
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But the restaurant won't let me in if i'm not wearing a shirt and shoes
*pointing smugly at the sign* excuse me, this sign says nothing about pants, I'll take my seat now thank you very much
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#
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Dec 24, 2017 17:25
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- Mad Doctor Cthulhu
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You don't have to worry about spring-loaded Jack in the Boxes. You have to worry about Boglins popping out of there making bad jokes about 1988.
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Dec 24, 2017 18:54
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- Robot Made of Meat
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What if the "date" turns out to be a fig instead?
Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!
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Dec 24, 2017 20:13
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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What if I act like myself and bore her to death, because I am a large diameter drill bit and that accident happened once before?
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#
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Dec 24, 2017 21:20
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- Bacon Taco
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Now with extra narwhal meat!
HAIKOOLIGAN
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What if she perceives the 40,000 hertz ultrasound pulses that I use for verbal communication as a threat?
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Dec 24, 2017 21:33
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- HotSoapyBeard
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I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
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What if I can’t tell if she’s Jurassic or Triassic and cause a faux pas?
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Dec 24, 2017 21:59
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- Duckbox
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What if she sees my small package and wonders what I keep in it and why it needs to have a padlock on it and why I wear the key on a chain around my neck at all times and never let it out of my sight and also the package moves sometimes when no one is looking.
Will the mysterious package be enough to distract her from my tiny penis?
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#
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Dec 24, 2017 22:00
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- HotSoapyBeard
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I'm a really cool nice dad
HAIKOOLIGAN
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If the half-life of 14C is 5730 years, am I dating a high school girl or someone’s mom?
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#
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Dec 24, 2017 22:06
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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Apr 26, 2024 04:03
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- The X-man cometh
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*pointing smugly at the sign* excuse me, this sign says nothing about pants, I'll take my seat now thank you very much
I call it "Porky Pigging" but my date calls it "Donald Ducking" so there won't be a second date.
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Dec 24, 2017 22:52
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Dec 23, 2017 04:26
