[SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Remember to always do Win+D before Win+L, because you never know what rear end in a top hat will be looking over your shoulder when you unlock your computer.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 02:36

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:33

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

If you want secure passwords, follow Joe Machis philosophy.

Edit: It just struck me that that won't work for American law enforcement. That's my hot political take for today.

evobatman fucked around with this message at 10:42 on Jan 24, 2018

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 09:04

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Merijn posted:

You guys should watch Scorpion. There's 3 or 4 seasons on Netflix and it's the ultimate relaxing tech bullshit show. Most episodes are just your average detective show but sometimes they ramp up the action to ridiculous heights. Like in the pilot where they fix a low-flying airplane from a speeding Lambo, or somewhere in season 2 where they fix a NASA rocket literal seconds before it takes off. Good stuff.

gently caress no

Even if you look past all the tech bullshit, it's about how ultraintelligent people cannot relate to the normal world, but one of them is a normal person with an ultraintelligent child, so they help her understand his life, and in return she translates the normal world for them.

Imagine everything bad that people say about Big Bang Theory and nerd blackface, and it's thousands of times worse for this show.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2018 14:40

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Kazinsal posted:

My dudes they still make those.

I've never seen an url like that before.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2018 08:53

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Nerdrock posted:

my bullshit intro to computers course at my local Community College in 2001 taught us that a motherboard doesn't need a CPU to post. Unless that's changed over the last 17 years. (teacher had tweaked the bios to say "what kind of idiot doesn't even put in a CPU?" or something)

It will technically Power On Self Test, and then it will fail the Power On Self Test with a beep code or diagnostic light. In that sense it does post, but nothing more.

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 12:59

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Ghostlight posted:

Ticket Summary: David phone annoyingsnoise

Ticket Details: David is on a conference call and his phone keeps making a noise at regular internals please help. If you can fix offline now while he is on the call would be great.

Reminds me of working helpdesk at an oil company. My manager and coworker was out of the office a lot doing gently caress knows what, and this happened A LOT:

Managers cell phone would ring until it stopped
Managers desk phone would ring until it stopped
Coworkers cell phone would ring until it stopped
Coworkers desk phone would ring until it stopped
Helpdesk phone rings, I pick up and say "Hello, welcome to helpdesk, how may I help you?"
"WHY THE gently caress DOES NOBODY ANSWER THE PHONE WHEN I CALL? MY loving PIECE OF poo poo COMPUTER IS BROKEN AND SAYS WRONG PASSWORD!"

# ¿ May 2, 2018 07:47

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

I worked for a TV streaming service, and it took a little while for CS reps to realize that there were people out there who subscribed to our service who did not own a laptop or desktop, but used an iPad or their smartphone as the only computing device in their life.

# ¿ May 24, 2018 07:23

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Message from our research vessels:

"When we are up towards the north pole and don't have satellite coverage email doesn't work. When we are at the dock with wifi email works just fine. You must fix email".

Yeah, let me get right on that.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2018 13:31

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

evobatman posted:

Message from our research vessels:

"When we are up towards the north pole and don't have satellite coverage email doesn't work. When we are at the dock with wifi email works just fine. You must fix email".

Yeah, let me get right on that.

Well we're gonna try uninstalling Office 365 and instead installing locally licensed Office 2016.

Who are these people I work with??

# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 10:41

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Jaded Burnout posted:

A ticket came in..

He's mad as hell and not gonna take it anymore.

# ¿ Feb 14, 2019 08:44

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

We had an... incident yesterday where absolutely everything went down.

Here is the summary by the guy who did it, google translated and edited for clarity:

quote:

For those who wonder what happened yesterday afternoon:

1. I changed the MTU (Maximum Transmission Unit) on the core switch. The reason for this is to allow larger IP packages than default, and it has a lot to say for the performance, among other things when moving virtual machines between physical machines. We haven't succeeded with this before, so we made a new attempt yesterday.

2. The way this works on (some) Cisco switches is determined by a human (I guess) that only a mother can love. But that's another story.

3. Our new, fancy VMware clusters are connected to equally new and fancy Dell switches. They are again connected to the core switch with an EtherChannel (multiple network cables bundled together) for better performance.

4. When you run the command to change the MTU on the entire switch, the MTU is changed one by one port in the background (I have found out now).

5. When the core switch had changed the first port in one of the EtherChannels, it panicked and immediately declared that it cannot have different MTUs on ports in the same EtherChannel, so that port had to be suspended. When the next port was changed it was the same game. Finally, it took down all the ports, and with that the whole connection between the VMware cluster and the outside world. It did so with both clusters.

6. After thinking about less than a thousandth of a second (according to the log), the core switch was happy that all the ports were equal again, the world order was restored, and the ports were brought up again. It took 4 seconds.

7. This was repeated 4 times (because I wrote the command 4 times with different MTUs). It all happened within 1 minute and 21 seconds.

8. All of this would normally lead to some slowness in the network for a few seconds at a time, but then the panic also spread to the VMware clusters. They saw the end of the world approaching, and initiated full evacuation ("stop all virtual servers and start them up again at the disaster recovery site").

We need to dig a little more to find out the details, and whether we can provide some calming drugs to (some of) the equipment to curb the panic mood. For example, we have many other switches connected to the core switch with EtherChannel, why was it just the newest switches that were suspended? And exactly what triggered the VMware cluster - is it possible to make it have a little more ice in the stomach next time?

# ¿ Apr 12, 2019 13:27

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Our border guys would be more inclined to be investigative about your stuff if it was an actual blackberry instead of the branded phone .

The Australian Border Security show is constantly on TV in Norway, and it's equal parts hilarious and dystopian.

# ¿ Jun 11, 2019 07:18

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Dirt Road Junglist posted:

We had an absurd directive pushed down to us by our newly minted C-level security officer about a year ago, and somehow this mangy band of unicorns managed to pull it off. We told them it couldn't be done and then did it anyway, basically.

Today, they had a short meeting so management could tell us all how proud they are. And that's great. Appreciation is nice.

Then, my boss's boss, who's sub-director level, starts into his PowerPoint, and towards the end he says, "Also, because we recognize that this has been a lot of thankless work across multiple teams, we're going to make sure each hub office has an off-site, catered celebration, our treat."

In the background, the Director of Infrastructure hastily unmutes himself and says, "Wait, but the budget--"

"I know we're in the middle of a budget crisis," boss's boss says, barreling entirely over his own boss's spluttering. "But we're going to make sure this happens for you."

A few hours later, my boss comes back after meeting with his boss with a huge poo poo-eating grin on his face. "So it turns out there ISN'T any budget for celebrations, and $MyBoss knew it. He also knew if he promised something to that many people all at once, management would have to go along with it. He literally planned that to force them to reward y'all, because he knew NOT doing so would be total bullshit."

My boss's boss rocks. I'm still ultra pissed that my team got schism'd apart and I've been effectively demoted, but the people I report to are the best.

Halfway through reading this I thought you were working for Michael Scott.

# ¿ Aug 5, 2019 07:48

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Remember, always Win+D before Win+L, because you never know what rear end in a top hat will be looking over your shoulder when you unlock.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2019 09:36

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

The pen test on our server room failed.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2019 13:29

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

It is indeed an otter.

Happy ending:

No idea how he got in, probably through a drain or the ventilation, the building is very close to the shore.

# ¿ Dec 12, 2019 15:41

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

cage-free egghead posted:

I see that DX Racer chair from every youtuber, I imagine it's not a bad chair unless they're getting paid to use it.

# ¿ Mar 6, 2020 08:49

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Just for the heck of it, most servers and mid- to higher end workstations now have usb ports directly on the motherboard, inside the case. Mostly used for having a bootable ESX installation, but also for high-value dongle scenarios.

# ¿ Jul 7, 2020 07:28

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Worked at an oil company. Assistant Drillers became assdriller@company.com

# ¿ Nov 9, 2020 08:22

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

Renegret posted:

The nerd references have a very ready player one vibe to them

In ready player one Cory Doctorow is the president of the vr user organization

together with wil wheaton

# ¿ Jan 14, 2021 08:18

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 04:33

evobatman: Jul 30, 2006; it means nothing, but says everything!; Pillbug

hey..........................

the..................... solution..................... is.................... to................ answer...................... like................ this................ whenever.................. they.................. do................... it.....................

# ¿ Feb 15, 2021 08:24

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush