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Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Well, poo poo. Here we are again.

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Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

GreenNight posted:

God damnit. We actually have a Goldmine server.

You are giving me the worst flashback to the late nineties...

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

GreenNight posted:

Goldmine isn't so bad. Just a SQL backend and it's relatively inexpensive.

Back when I used it it was a horrible piece of poo poo that constantly blew up and the support was worthless.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Anything with SQL back-end has poo poo support. They can only afford so many SQL engineers, and they're mostly assigned to development. The unfortunate souls they put on support are trained in processes they don't actually understand to clean and reset database connections, and poke around in an attempt to prove user error.

I've only been in one situation where we got high enough up the support chain to speak with one of the SQL engineers. It was by far the best application support I've ever witnessed. They got knee-deep in the database, pulled all sorts of data to prove the problem, and wrote short scripts to create permanent solutions. Even to an IT support guy like I was at the time, it was wizardry.

Good luck ever finding those wizards though.

If I recall correctly the sales department would use Goldmine to create mass faxes via Word, sent to a Brooktrout fax board on a server. Slowly but surely this system began failing on system after system until my computer was the only one left that would work. That meant that it became part of my desktop support job to send out ALL mass faxes. And then one day mine too would no longer work. Goldmine couldn't figure it out and the company had to abandon the software.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Fire those people.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry




Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I would like to see an office cubicle farm where all the walls are only knee height.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Inspector_666 posted:

If it's anything like systems I've seen, there's no way to force a user to reset the VM password.

I think it's just a checkbox on the user page where you can enter the client and VM passwords.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I pushed out the Windows patch. May God have mercy on our souls.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I'm bad with Windows shortcuts but even I know Windows-L.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

gently caress it. <approves all patches in WSUS>

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry




This sort of thing is the bane of my impatient web browsing.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I started studying interface design (both virtual and real world) back in the nineties and as a result I'm pretty much angry at every interface I ever see. Door handles that require PUSH or PULL signs in particular make me want to slap someone.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Thanks Ants posted:

The Design of Everyday Things is a pro read

I sort of wish I'd never read it.

"How Buildings Learn" is another interesting one.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Langolas posted:

Headset talk! I had to go with the CIO at a company to tell our sales call center folks no more wireless radio headsets. Their management had been giving them out as incentive prizes without consulting IT. They huffed and puffed and then we played back call recordings we took after we tapped into the unencrypted calls being broadcast out into the parking lot. Oh is that a credit card number in our recording?

Next day all the wireless headsets were gone and telecom was helping them find suitable wireless headsets that had proper security for the whole sales team.

How much were you able to skim off before the change?

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Avenging_Mikon posted:

So, I'm like 60% sure I know the answer, but does Outlook keep timestamps of when contacts were added/modified? And how can they be accessed if it actually does.

Should be able to change to a list view and add the columns that show creation/modification date.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Keep in mind that Outlook often has some curious ideas about what constitutes a modification. Over the years I've seen some frustrating stuff when I was asked to do advanced work with large contact lists.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

BigDave posted:

P@ssw0rd123

My favorite user password is simple: 1fucker

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

There was a box of passable croissants in the kitchen this morning, so I'm not going to quit.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Renegret I will step on your battered, broken body to get what I want, even if what I want is only a stick of Big Red gum.

EDIT: Wait, we are both Grimey Drawers. That changes everything!

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Dick Trauma posted:

There was a box of passable croissants in the kitchen this morning, so I'm not going to quit.

And now there's a big box of cookies and brownies in there. Gotdamn.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Zil posted:

Or just hire a dildo drone.

Yes they are real and no don't search for that at work.

Dildrone?

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Entropic posted:

I found the POE switch



I too have had a wall full of PoE injectors, but it was only because the scope did not include placing a bunch of phones at the site and local AC adapters were rejected.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Had a long discussion with yet another member of the CEO's family, this time about an urgent need to set up email on our Exchange server for a domain they were going to use on a mass email. We talked about it both from a technical and marketing perspective and eventually came to an agreement on how things would be done and the timing of the changes. Adding a domain to the server and dishing out some aliases is not a big deal.

At the very end of the conversation I identified a serious problem. I expect you all can guess what it was.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Collateral Damage posted:

They haven't registered the domain.

Bonus: It's taken.



The good news is that an alternative is available. The bidding starts at $3k. Considering the value of the project they might actually go for it, but no one has told me to do it so I don't care.

At the end of next month I'll wrap up my third year at this dumb place. We're having our first ALL-STAFF STATUS UPDATE MEETING this week which is a several hour long after-work affair that should be chock full of bullshit and drama.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Thanks Ants posted:

After work?

Nope.

It's mandatory. How else can you build team spirit?

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

nullfunction posted:

I really dig the way we handle it.

This company is 30 years old but has never grown much beyond 50 people. They have never functioned as a proper company and this meeting is an attempt to act like one, with powerpoint presentations even! We will all sit there dutifully for three hours while the important people talk about the mission statement they spent over six months on that cost us about $100k and is typical meaningless corporate BS. There will be minor swag handed out, because real companies have swag. They'll introduce some new executives, and by "introduce" I mean ambush people who didn't realize they are no longer going to be department heads as folks have been brought on over them.

So.. fun for all!

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Thanks Ants posted:

Oooh these are always fun. Will they put up the targets for the next year / three years and then not provide any information on how they think they're going to get there?

I am probably a target for next year.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I keep reading"Everest" as "Everex."

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

The Macaroni posted:

...all he had to do was post the image of the PayPal button linking to PayPal.com and it would handle our donations automatically.

Brb have to go fix something.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I thought Juceria was some sort of North Korean voodoo religion,

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Collateral Damage posted:

The most important thing is never to route cables across devices.

The old dead firewall is still racked because I can't be bothered to unplug a bunch of poo poo to remove it.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

lambeth posted:

I work at a healthcare company which does IT for radiology centers. Over the past few days, one of the centers got one of their scanners replaced. However, they ran into an issue yesterday with the new scanner where the images were being scanned upside down. The vendor for the scanner decided to fix this by replacing the computer connected to the scanner with another one (not the easiest thing to do since the scanner computers are on XP and the rest of the center's computers are on 7 (no, I don't know why they're on XP)). Everything works fine after that. However, the computer didn't actually need to be replaced. Would anyone like to guess what the issue was?


Salt the earth.

When I was getting radiation treatments I'd lie on the table under the emitter and the tech would close a door that looked like it belonged on a bank vault. They'd speak to me over the PA and one time I heard the old Win XP error sound and I laughed but I had to ask for an explanation. Turns out their scheduling PC was on XP, not the emitter.

EDIT: A recall notice came in! 5th Gen Carbon X1 might burst into flame! Thank goodness I only have one of those! Oh, it is the new one I gave to my boss!

https://support.lenovo.com/us/en/solutions/ht504453

Dick Trauma fucked around with this message at 19:44 on Feb 6, 2018

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

mewse posted:

*being wheeled into giant radiation emitter*

*Windows 7 critical error noise*

Technician: "Uh oh"

In my old office I had one of our WAPs sitting on a little table. When I got booted out one of the senior managers moved in. A couple of weeks ago he came to me asking that the WAP be moved because it's a radiation hazard. He explained that he had watched several videos on YouTube on the subject.

I tend to be a nonchalant about rads because I've had so much radiation that I couldn't give a poo poo about what comes off of a WAP, but I didn't want to be a jerk about it. I explained that our office is being hosed with EM from at least FIFTY other wifi networks and that a random person on YouTube is not an authority.

He said that the YouTube people sounded very confident and that if I didn't move the WAP he would go to my boss. So I moved it into the next office and that was enough for him.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

MJP posted:

"Okay sir, let's begin your radiation treatment."

*clackityclackityclack*

"Huh... I wonder what malfunction 54 means..."

Initially my radiation oncology doc misaimed the beam, so the side of my leg got particularly roasted by the radiation. It's a tossup whether my original cancer will be the one that kills me, or secondary cancers from the rads. I'm due for one, or both.

I'm hoping for the wild card: a massive CVA!

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

wolrah posted:

You are much more mature than I about that. If I encountered one of these idiots I'd be scrambling to find an AP with the most and largest antennas I could get to put as close as possible to their desk.

"Sorry, our coverage survey says we need some extra capacity right here"

If they ever complete the "realignment" of the company I will probably end up reporting to that guy, and I've already antagonized him plenty just by pushing back when he tries to insist that these hosed up idiots are actually acting in a professional business-like fashion.

He's been here for almost 15 years, and I think it was his first real job so he has no idea about how a business should run.

I think everyone here has had enough of me but they lack the will to look for a replacement. So until then I keep getting that paycheck.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry


I knew someone would post this.

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I would tell them it can be tipped, but like the movie Speed it has to be maintained at that exact degree from the truck all the way to the server room or KABLAM!

Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Never dare idiots unless you're prepared to see them try it.

I am prepared.

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Dick Trauma
Nov 30, 2007

God damn it, you've got to be kind.

Clapping Larry

I once went back for seconds at Souplantation.

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