[SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Bigass Moth posted:

Welcome to page 0001.

Quote this post if your license is not approved for support by Cisco TAC (and then use a serial number of a different device to open the ticket anyway).

Cc: entire company

Me too

# ¿ Jan 1, 2018 17:30

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 07:13

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Dick Trauma posted:

You are giving me the worst flashback to the late nineties...

Ah, the days when the Pointy People Logos walked the earth

# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 19:59

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Wibla posted:

Hahaha. No.

Try 40" or 43" 4K

I thought the 27� comment was about CRTs, since we were talking about legacy hardware

*table buckles*

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 00:28

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

And slow down significantly.

# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 15:36

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Company policy makes my reboot my workstation every five days, all the servers loving better have to too god dammit

# ¿ Jan 4, 2018 20:03

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

You can tell that�s from a million years ago because cubicles instead of open floorplans

Oh how I yearn for a simple half-high

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 00:25

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

This may be off-topic since it's more of a developer problem than an IT problem, but uughh I just have to vent somewhere

I built an inventory management system a couple of years ago for a small local boutique packaging company. They've been gradually moving their processes toward using it more and more, and I've been adding features as we go. Now they're finally at a stage where their incoming deliveries and outgoing shipments are all handled through the software and tracked so you can look at the history of every individual product and see what the quantity was after each transaction.

Since the early days there have been persistent issues with the quantity numbers not adding up. They'd open up the history for a product, trace all the incoming/outgoing transactions back from the current number to the beginning of time and find out that it doesn't add up to zero. I changed tactics several times, going back and forth between a "log the current quantity at the time of transaction" approach and a "just take the current number and calculate the historical numbers on the fly" approach, chasing software phantoms, the works. I told them that the only way I could see this happening was if someone was manually changing the quantity value, which naturally would screw up the historical counts. But they kept giving me the side-eye when I told them this.

Finally, a few months ago I added a global logging page that lets you see every event that changes the quantity for a given product, from what number to what number, along with the timestamp and the name of who did it. Immediately afterwards they emailed me asking me to look into a couple more discrepancies they'd found. "See," they said, "we took an incoming of 24 cases, but then we were doing reconciliation and found it comes out to only 22. Is there a glitch?"

I opened up the logs and sure enough, Joe the warehouse guy is in the logs manually changing 24 to 22, half an hour after taking an incoming of 24.

I told them this, and they said "ok thanks" and I never heard another word about it.

Until today. They sent me a flurry of new emails, with screenshots of the history showing a value of 239 that had mysteriously changed to 0, and a value of 67 that should have been 68, and then more emails with more discrepancies, all marked up with red screenshot circles and the strong implication that the software was glitching out and loving up their bookkeeping. "Also is there a way to get a search bar for the log page?"

I looked into each case. Every single one took five seconds to find the obvious glaring line where Joe had manually changed the quantity in inventory, resulting in exactly the discrepancy they're pointing out.

I'm writing back now, trying as delicately as I can to ask them whether they're, like, actually looking at the logs? Clearly they know about them because they're asking for more search features, but good lord you don't need them in order to see this. You click the little "Logs" link and up pops a window saying JOE CHANGED THE NUMBERS YOU FOOL.

Ugh now that I'm typing this out I'm realizing they probably aren't using the actual "Logs" link on the product itself (which filters to the product) and are instead launching the global log viewer which admittedly isn't very navigable so they probably can't figure out how to use it. But holy gently caress that link is in every single one of the marked-up screenshots they've inundated me with today

Anyway thanks for indulging me, this probably explains what happened

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 04:11

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Maybe he's embezzling manufactured logo packaging items, which would be .. weird, but who am I to judge

# ¿ Jan 5, 2018 04:20

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

So which one of you guys had money on Joe the Warehouse Guy claiming solemnly that it wasn't him who changed the quantities, not him, couldn't be? And the managers insisting to me in a torrent of emails that surely this means there's something wrong with my software and maybe it's, I don't know, automatically changing values on its own and inserting spurious log entries under Joe's name at random times unrelated to any other system events because of "a bug"?

I swear to god they are sending me screenshots of every single product quantity discrepancy they've found (it's over a dozen by now), including screenshots of the logs, each one showing Joe making the exact manual override change that results in the discrepancy they're scratching their heads over, and telling me "there is definitely something funky going on in the IMS".

There is literally no other pathway to get the log message they're seeing, other than "Joe, or someone logged in using Joe's credentials, changed the quantity from 23 to 22". But Joe says he didn't do it, so now they can't trust the software and they're going to have me build in some new kind of crazy multi-level permissions scheme, and that's if they accept that it's actually the result of someone doing something they shouldn't be and not just the software going crazy and altering numbers randomly and carefully logging it under some poor innocent warehouse guy's name

:cripes:

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 04:59

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

KoRMaK posted:

Lol you're dead.

You have died an now are a ghost. Congrats

I am the ghost in the machine who makes spurious inventory changes :iiam:

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 05:19

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

I would but they gotta do that in the office too.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 05:33

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Neddy Seagoon posted:

Just deny his specific account the ability to make manual edits. And don't tell anyone you did.

Heh. Tempting. But I think what I�ll end up doing is caving and making a �can manually adjust quantities� permission bit, the first I�m sure of a thousand

(And I�ll still log attempts)

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 12:59

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

blackswordca posted:

So we had a lunch meeting yesterday afternoon with Me, my boss and the contractor that kind of works for us.

We talked about projects coming up, and general issues and one of our clients intermittent issues came up. Their computers are "slow".

Boss and Contractor:"We need to install more RAM!"
Me: "I've looked into this. Peak RAM usage is around 76%.. i don't think it'll make a diff..."
Boss and Contractor: "MORE RAM!"

So I get to go to the site today and install more RAM. To be honest, I'm surprised they didn't make me install a bunch of 128GB SSDs as well.

And you know they'll all just magically get faster afterwards, for an unrelated reason.

# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 08:17

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

It's like a 1996-era Netscape bookmarks.html file

# ¿ Jan 16, 2018 17:10

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Zil posted:

I love these things and how the internet is running with them

Even better would be "DON'T send missile alert" so you uncheck it reflexively with the rest of them

# ¿ Jan 17, 2018 17:02

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

I mean we all know this but just a step or two outside our area of expertise there's really no way for a non-subject-matter-expert to know what is trivially easy and what is ludicrous and impossible.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2018 17:28

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

senrath posted:

Possibly! But no matter what the truth is, it still looks really bad.

"We can't show you the real one because then hackers could gain valuable information about our systems"

Oh no, then they could send out fake missile alerts

# ¿ Jan 18, 2018 11:48

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

I guess we'll never stamp out cyberbullying if being bullied is seen as cool

# ¿ Jan 22, 2018 15:41

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Yes, yes, it�s a regional dialect.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 01:19

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Strongly consider taking a counter-offer. This thread is proof that there are no absolutes, and sometimes counter-offers can work out for the better.

But remember that this company had to be threatened into losing you as an employee before they were willing to budge. The competitor was willing to offer you everything you wanted based on your resume and interview. They might have a bit more respect for you out of the gate.

I think conventional wisdom is that taking a counteroffer is very dangerous. From the company's perspective, the play is: give him what he wants, but start looking for a replacement and 6 months later fire him. Because if he was dissatisfied enough to start looking for other positions, he's going to be dissatisfied again and he'll never be fully on board.

Not universal by any means, but I've heard this a lot.

# ¿ Jan 24, 2018 21:59

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

ilkhan posted:

Things you don't want to hear as the MSP provider: "I think it'd be faster, and cheaper, to build a whole new dc, build out a clean domain, and reconnect all 250 users to this new domain than to go through and fix all these network and gpo issues."

Now, before the sun comes up, we're going to build on this site an exact replica of the DC...

# ¿ Feb 14, 2018 00:11

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Okay why has everyone apparently decided that "cyber" now means exclusively "cybersecurity"?

# ¿ Feb 14, 2018 15:23

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Pretty confident of getting renewed for another season, that -r

# ¿ Feb 16, 2018 14:23

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Farking Bastage posted:

code:
Port Device ID Port ID Type Network Address
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ge.1.1      20b399633da8          ge.1.3      ciscodp 172.18.137.3
ge.1.1     20:B3:99:63:3D:A8     ge.1.3      lldp
ge.1.3     20b399633da8           ge.1.1      ciscodp 172.18.137.3
ge.1.3     20:B3:99:63:3D:A8     ge.1.1      lldp
ge.1.24   20b3998cfc68          ge.1.46      ciscodp 172.17.137.2
ge.1.24   20:b3:99:8c:fc:68                        cdp 172.17.137.2
Mother loving PC tech though he would be helpful and plug in a loose patch cable.....

Three foot patch cable plugged into two adjacent ports...what the gently caress. I don't know why spantree didn't catch it, we'll get to that later.

Hahaha. This throws me back to my first job after college, which was at a company making then-brand-new bandwidth management devices. Which had "in" and "out" ports and were meant to be connected inline (NOT to adjacent ports on the same bank).

This being the late 90s, when people still used hubs.

Every one of us in the dev and QA teams had our company's boxes on our desks or in little ad-hoc wildcat labs, and packet throwers. On a totally unswitched network.

I am just trying to imagine the magnitude of the heart attack a modern IT team (or even the one at the time, really) would have had upon being asked to oversee this kind of environment. As it was, people creating packet accelerator loops or the dev-net being completely goatfucked and the outside world inaccessible was about a weekly occurrence.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2018 11:54

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

spankmeister posted:

Eh, it's not like anyone is going to miss American beer

They said North American which I assume means Canadian

# ¿ Mar 3, 2018 12:34

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Booted tangs, what is this nerf poo poo

# ¿ Mar 10, 2018 23:36

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Buy a lottery ticket

# ¿ Mar 29, 2018 22:47

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

SolusLunes posted:

Heh, I work with one of those guys on Team 'Murica. He's a chill dude. And got a reserved parking spot right next to the door because he's a gold medalist. (all the executives still park closer because of course they do)

What, they park like on the stairs?

# ¿ Apr 4, 2018 01:18

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

A friend of mine once talked about an old job where he had been tasked with coming up with a file naming scheme that encoded the date of each file as part of its filename... in 8.3 format.

To conserve space in the filename, he used a single letter for the month, like a = January, b = February, etc.

I told him "That doesn't take into account years with more than 26 months in them."

The split nanosecond where he actually thought about it and a look of alarm flashed over his face�it made the subsequent shoulder-check into the bushes worth it

# ¿ Apr 13, 2018 01:46

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

spog posted:

Holy poo poo, you gave me an erection reading that.

I pictured it going down kinda like this

# ¿ Apr 20, 2018 16:37

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Oops we deleted ur 401k

# ¿ Apr 24, 2018 22:41

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Kurieg posted:

Anyone have a best guess as to what happened here?

http://spamusement.com/index.php/comics/view/6

# ¿ May 7, 2018 22:44

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Google AI goon immediately starts posting incel manifestos and is permabanned

# ¿ May 13, 2018 07:19

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Three wasps deliver me all the bandwidth I need, entering through the hole in the subfloor I punched for them

# ¿ May 26, 2018 23:46

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Just put an asterisk next to it

# ¿ Jun 19, 2018 22:33

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

They format them when they're small

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pwTqC2T6q4E

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 14:19

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

MJP posted:

EDIT: any NYC-working goons want to get together for drinks or something? I feel like I'm losing out by not networking but I feel weird going into a Meetup if I don't have one concrete thing that unites me with the group doing the meet.

HMU fam. I'm juggling my own commute logistics around right now and things are getting less consistent on a day-to-day basis rather than more. But I get to learn a lot more of the system this way. Also the West Village

# ¿ Jul 11, 2018 02:05

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

But they're always so busy whenever I look over at them

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 21:31

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Wibla posted:

Oh don't worry, someone will find the same bug in 20 years time, too

I'll bet there's a buffer somewhere that rolls over in about 20 years

# ¿ Jul 13, 2018 01:40

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# ¿ Apr 19, 2024 07:13

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Guarantee it's because they skim the email in less than three seconds, see a phrase like "I could do X" or "Do you want" and a question mark at the end, and they fire off a "make my problem go away" email without any further thought.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2018 17:50

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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