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Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Why are we spending all this money on these licenses anyway? Can't we just get the software free off the internet somewhere?

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Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Zamboni Apocalypse posted:

I believe the correct version for incoming fire is "For what we are about to receive, dear Lord make us thankful."

Sorry, no, this is the wrong prayer as they're the one sending out the patch over their network..

For something being caused by their own actions they want Shepard's Prayer; "Please God, don't let me gently caress this up".

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Data Graham posted:

I would but they gotta do that in the office too.

Just deny his specific account the ability to make manual edits. And don't tell anyone you did.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Collateral Damage posted:

Make it so any inventory change results in an transaction being booked as "inventory adjustment" and sent up the order chain for approval.

There'd still be the same leeway and befuddled headscratching that it's "the system" at fault.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Data Graham posted:

Heh. Tempting. But I think what I’ll end up doing is caving and making a “can manually adjust quantities” permission bit, the first I’m sure of a thousand

(And I’ll still log attempts)

Better suggestion.; Hardcode your system to eat Joe's edits. Log the attempt, make it look like it went through for him if you can, don't actually update the data. Let's see how well that goes when the numbers won't actually add up.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Samizdata posted:

My Dad (rest in peace) had a DPhil from Oxford and would never listen to me to stop that. I would warn him and warn him he risked going to spam imposter sites, but, would he listen?

...was he killed by an imposter site?

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


blackswordca posted:

So we had a lunch meeting yesterday afternoon with Me, my boss and the contractor that kind of works for us.

We talked about projects coming up, and general issues and one of our clients intermittent issues came up. Their computers are "slow".

Boss and Contractor:"We need to install more RAM!"
Me: "I've looked into this. Peak RAM usage is around 76%.. i don't think it'll make a diff..."
Boss and Contractor: "MORE RAM!"

So I get to go to the site today and install more RAM. To be honest, I'm surprised they didn't make me install a bunch of 128GB SSDs as well.

Do they actually know how much RAM is in those machines? Because I'd wager you could just open the case, fiddle a bit, and shut it for the same effect a wasted RAM upgrade would bring.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Data Graham posted:

It's like a 1996-era Netscape bookmarks.html file

It quite possibly is.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!



Holy poo poo .

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Bob Morales posted:

vendor left an IP phone for us to play with for the week. CEO (owners wife) comes in and asks about it, complains because the handset isn't cordless

Ughhhh

Just tell them they can use a bluetooth headset to answer calls.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


stevewm posted:

All of that security... And it will be undone by a password taped to someone's monitor.

That's what 2FA with a hardware token is for .

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Nuclearmonkee posted:

When I worked in local government I went to a public meeting to act as the technical details nerd for questions about a p2p microwave network project to extend broadband coverage to remote county locations.

We spent two hours or so explaining how these were not govt mind control ray emitters and how they do not cause headaches or cancer in people living 50 miles from a highly directional transceiver on a mountain.

Wireless crazies own.

You'll know if you're in the affected area of a microwave antenna by the drink in your hand starting to boil on its own. That and the bigass dish antenna in your immediate vicinity.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


PurpleButterfly posted:

Toastmasters International is also rolling out a shiny new information system where the main user-facing interactive tool is dubbed "Base Camp." I volunteered to give some of the user orientation presentations, and this post made me wonder if I'll get any Everest jokes. I'll report back if I do.

says he dies attempting the ascent!

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


PurpleButterfly posted:

LOL. My title is officially "Pathways Guide," so I’m basically the sherpa. I am still getting acclimated myself, though.

(aside: 'she,' and I think that applies to both Sirotan and myself, fyi.)

Ah, my bad!

says she bails mid-climb due to the dangers and the climbers go off on their own to freeze to death!

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Siochain posted:

This x 1000. Plus it makes me feel organized and better.

We did a huge cleanup mid-last year, as best we could without being able to actually shut everything down. We really need a 24-48 hour window where we can have free reign to fix it, and we'd have it all looking amazing. But, 24/7/365 here, so short of some form of IT miracle, its as good as it will get for now.

Assuming that's SLA'd, you should have a provision in there for setting outage windows in advance by X days/weeks.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


GreenNight posted:

You're supposed to use old equipment as pizza warmers in your racks!

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Dick Trauma posted:

I would tell them it can be tipped, but like the movie Speed it has to be maintained at that exact degree from the truck all the way to the server room or KABLAM!

Never dare idiots unless you're prepared to see them try it.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Irritated Goat posted:

Now I'm just imaging the poop particles in the network jacks and

Flushing the DNS will be a regular necessity.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Bob Morales posted:

"Why are emails being delayed? <whoever> sent me an email at 8:47 and it just came in at 9:07a."



Should I reply with:

"It's not called instant messenger"

"Your fat rear end didn't even get to work until 8:52"

"Rackspace is looking into it"

"I received your email at XX:XX can you tell me what time you sent it?"

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Data Graham posted:

Okay why has everyone apparently decided that "cyber" now means exclusively "cybersecurity"?

I blame CSI: Cyber.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Kurieg posted:

I picked up the first season of CSI:Cyber super cheap and was watching it just to laugh at everything that was so hilariously wrong. My favorite was their visual depiction of tracking traffic through the deep web as if the deep web were a physical place below the internet, indicated by big scary red glowing letters that said DEEP WEB.

Season 2 gets hilariously terrible, because you can always see the exact moment in each episode they write themselves into a corner and contrive bullshit for a solution.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Kurieg posted:

Didn't they also bring on Ted Danson as an out of touch old-person for their target audience to relate to?

E.G.: "Please explain to me what new-fangled technology you're misusing."

Ted Danson is indeed in season 2. You can also tell he's just collecting a paycheck, playing with the toy of the episode, and not caring at all.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Sefal posted:

It was awful when my colleague wouldn't shut up about it. He did recommend Mr Robot to me.
Only watched season 1. I should get around to season 2 someday.

Season 2 is just as good .

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!



Don't be a dick to those who haven't watched it yet, come on.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Thanks Ants posted:

Yeah I appreciated the social engineering and breaching the network via an unsecured third party system over just getting in because it was somehow just connected to the internet.

My favourite was the prison break in season 1; scatter a bunch of malwared USB's outside and wait for a sucker.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


wolrah posted:

Eh, on the one hand I know sort of how you feel because I had only watched a few episodes and have been meaning to get around to finishing at least the first season so that spoiled it for me too.

On the other hand I think in general claims of "spoilers" lose a lot of their merit after a few weeks to maybe a few months. The first season has been out on discs for over two years at this point, it's unreasonable to expect people will just not talk about it forever.

Some people take a few years to get to a series, it's just common decency to toss spoiler tags on at least the big reveals in a recently-aired show.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


The Claptain posted:

A non-bootable PC came in:



*Hello, it's me, the hard drive, I am totally working: BzBzBzBz*

Reminds me of the dead hard drive I once saw that claimed to have something like 5 Petabytes of storage despite being a 2tb drive. A Western Digital Green, and it wouldn't let me access it, whirred and clicked like mad, and I can get the absolutely precious photos off it, right????!

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Weedle posted:

We have to change all of our students’ passwords on our LMS since they’re instituting more stringent password requirements. This would be fine except that there is no way to bulk upload a password list. Time to spend all day changing each one individually.

So script the individual changes and run that instead .

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


klosterdev posted:

Starting to think that ctrl+win+c is the sweet spot of vividly reminding people in I.T. to lock their computers without being an rear end in a top hat about it.

MY MONITOR IS BROKEN, I CAN'T WORK LIKE THIS!

GET ME A NEW ONE!!

edit: Oh, people in IT .

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


GreenNight posted:

Fijitsu's new LAN port on laptops is pretty great. Too thin? gently caress no.



That's really neat, but all I can think is that a shitload of them are going to get broken the first time someone tries to remove the ethernet cable and just yanks the drat thing out.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Captainsalami posted:

Thought of you guys.



That's not Cat9; it's Cat5 .

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


If you want to upset the Bitcoin miners, just bring up the fact that German investigators have discovered pedophiles are using the Bitcoin blockchains to spread child pornography links.

I'm sure it'll go over well.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Jaded Burnout posted:

Cryptocurrency investing is all about entering young markets.

Holy poo poo

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Inspector_666 posted:

So the setup of Zabbix continues and I just spent all afternoon elbow deep in SNMP and...I kind of get it now? I made templates for our copier and rack AC unit that loving work and I am unreasonably proud of that.

I even think I can get this setup so that it will automatically order new toner carts when one runs out which would fuckin' own.

Then set up a Slack webhook so it will tell you on its own when stuff goes down overnight.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


bitterandtwisted posted:

They now claim two breaks at separate locations ~200 miles apart.


or one break has existed for a while and they didn't get round to fixing it.

How the gently caress is fixing a downed fibre path not your immediate priority as an MSP?

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Sprechensiesexy posted:

All of my dealings with Telstra haven been pain and suffering. It's like their network is a series of smoke signals created via dumpster fires.

One of their techs earnestly tried to push an intermittent fault on their gear onto us by asking if we'd maybe had a power outage at the site in question. A power outage lasting all of may ten seconds. On UPS-protected equipment directly facing their gear. We'd notice something like that.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Nerdrock posted:

Lots of Emails Came in ::

we're moving to google for email. format is firstname.middleinitial.lastname at ourschooldistrict.org

Teacher is complaining about "personal privacy issues" putting that info in their email address. Also CC'ing the local teacher's union.

Teacher was informed their first name, middle initial, and lastname are on the school's website in the staff directory.

I *want* to inform them if we type their first name and last name with (city) into google, they show up on a "neighbor report" website , with their address listed, and that they are 'constantly yelling racial profanities'. I also *want* to inform them that our county's Geographic Information Systems website has them listed (with first name, middle initial, and last name) as the owner of the property that's complained about. I also *want* to inform them that they have a publicly facing facebook profile, while not showing their middle initial, does have a photo of their car with license plate number clearly displayed. I also *want* to inform them that typing their name into a website that lists public records of government job payrolls not only shows their middle initial, but also earnings over the last decade.

That is something I'd suggest reporting to the headmaster/principal of your school at the very least.

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Rorac posted:

A 4 month home computer nightmare is over. After my roommate's last computer bascially died (motherboard totally poo poo the bed) I and some friends ended up building him a new computer. Or rather, I salvaged what I could from the old one, friends bought a new motherboard and CPU and we tried to get it going.


Nothing. No beeps even. Some time passes, we get a new motherboard, because the utter lack of any beeps usually signifies a motherboard failure. Hey, sometimes they're DOA, you know? New motherboard: exact same problem. No beeps even. So we figure it has to be the CPU. So I slam a new CPU in.


Nothing. Same drat results. So, JUST IN CASE, I put the newest CPU into the original replacement motherboard.

It goddamn works. I'm loving around in the bios, and then I see this in the options.

"BEEP ON STARTUP: DISABLED"




Some jackass decided to make that an option. Some other jackass decided to set it that way, or alternatively that was the default setting. Because of that, we wasted the price of a motherboard, a new case (because the second motherboard would not fit into the case we got), and a couple of months.




So, uh, hey guys. If I murder like, a whole bunch of people at the same time, do you think I'd get a bulk discount on my prison sentence?

Why wasn't this PC plugged into a monitor?

Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Renegret posted:

Client: Hey we did a maintenance last night and replaced a whole bunch of line cards in our equipment. Also or some reason everything on those line cards is no longer working. Anyway we think this is a problem with your system and we need you to join a bridge call.

Hey, I have a better idea.

How about no.

I'm gonna bet... There's no SP in the shelf, so the cards have no config.

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Neddy Seagoon
Oct 12, 2012

Hi, Everybody!


Renegret posted:

gently caress if I know! I didn't join the bridge.

Haven't heard anything back so I guess they figured it out or something.

It's either that, or they actually need to run a command to enable the cards and can't figure that simple fact out even with vendor/NOC support.

(I've been in on a call for that one happening, and it's very entertaining to watch .)

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