[SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

sfwarlock posted:

"Oh, my hard drive crashed? Ah, that's fine, I have all my files backed up on a thumbdrive. This one, right here, on my keychain."

"But you-"

"I update and check it every day. It's fine."

I plugged it in. Wanna guess what was on it?

"Yes, that's the backup! Just click on it, they'll all be there!"

Bonus: he had been doing it the right way before, but then he discovered this trick that was much faster!

Can't remember if I posted about the terrified grad student who brought in a floppy disk (this was 1996), saying her dissertation file was corrupt.

Me: It certainly seems like the file is in bad shape.
Student: [begins weeping]
Me: Please tell me you have a backup?
Student: Ah, yes! I do!
Me: Oh thank goodness! Where's the backup?
Student: On the same disk! Is that a problem?

I was able to recover one of the files for her, and I gave her a stern lecture about keeping multiple backups and even emailing herself the file once a week.

# ¿ Jan 2, 2018 15:11

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 13:54

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

My mother in law refuses to go straight to any website. She'll Google the company she's looking for, and after that will look for the browser history link to that Google search.

# ¿ Jan 11, 2018 18:48

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

The Iron Rose posted:

you know it's a fun ticket when you literally have to start citing research papers in your response

# ¿ Jan 16, 2018 21:02

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Bigass Moth posted:

There was also a picture posted of the computer's password on a post-it note
https://www.digitaltrends.com/computing/hawaii-emergency-management-agency-stored-passwords-on-post-it-notes/

I could see my way to a kind of forgiveness if the password were 256 characters long, including dozens of special/numeric characters. But it's always something like Sentinel7.

# ¿ Jan 18, 2018 21:29

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Turtles alllllllll the way down.

Had a recent repeat of the ol' "What do you mean I can't attach a DVD/2GB video file to an email? Next thing you'll tell me is that we can't stream this video to our users over the LMS server!" Actually, that was indeed the very next thing I was about to tell you.

The Macaroni fucked around with this message at 16:12 on Jan 30, 2018

# ¿ Jan 30, 2018 15:59

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Thanks Ants posted:

After work?

Nope.

For real. If I did subject myself to that, they'd better drat well expect me in late the next day.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2018 16:33

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

klosterdev posted:

- Everybody's business cards at that site had the same typo in the fax number

I have only raised my voice in anger at business colleagues twice in my life. One of them came after repeated complaints that a particular campaign was lagging because "[Macaroni] isn't putting out the communications that he should be." Turns out the campaign's phone number was incorrect across all publications and websites, and the target audience of old folks who didn't know how to email (this was 2006) just gave up trying to contact them. No, I did not get an apology.

The other time I yelled at a colleague, it involved Paypal and our nominal "webmaster" insisting that all he had to do was post the image of the PayPal button linking to PayPal.com and it would handle our donations automatically.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2018 14:55

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

blackswordca posted:

So a phone call came in...

... with a job offer working with a large bank. Its not helpdesk so no more fixing printers or crap like that.

Plus the 50% pay raise is nice too!

Ill be supporting one or two internal apps. By supporting them I mean calling the vendor when it breaks.

May the Most High God grant that these vendors have effective, responsive support. And may the wind be at your back. Amen.

Edit: I support one app, and the vendor recently closed a root cause analysis ticket saying "Sometimes stuff that works for years just breaks. It's working now, right? So I'm unable to produce a specific root cause."

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 17:59

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Close ticket. Resolution: "OK."

# ¿ Feb 20, 2018 17:51

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Arquinsiel posted:

Last time I was sick in a place that let people work from home I was told to gently caress off and just sleep until I was alright to come back in.

As it should be. I never understood the management mindset saying that it's better to drag in sick, half-productive employees than to give them time to recuperate.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2018 15:08

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

tactlessbastard posted:

My Angry Boss flipped his lid over something trivial early this morning and took it out on the next person he saw (me) and was professionally insulting in front of a subordinate. There's a whole list of little extra things I do outside my literal job description that just evaporated.

Sorry to hear that.

An old colleague gave his notice this way: "There are two ways that this will go. If you remain calm and reasonable in your expectations, I will depart a month from now and document everything to the best of my ability. I'll also be happy to provide information even after I leave if we part as friends. If you freak out or try to screw me, I'll leave immediately. You will find a USB drive on my desk with a password list on it, and you will never hear from me again for any reason unless there's a lawsuit."

# ¿ Mar 1, 2018 17:27

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

The Fool posted:

We all know that the passwords are plaintext in an sql database, just run an update query.

I had a similar issue with our LMS a couple years back. Our vendor has a separate hash value that prevents this kind of update from the admin side. They had the ability to do the query when I filed a ticket, but I couldn't do it on my end.

Edit: I can't run any queries at all, but sometimes I can fake the same effort using an import file.

# ¿ Mar 2, 2018 17:05

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Oyster posted:

A text from a friend who is a unit secretary came in:

"Our printer is on the fritz again :\

Wait, I fixed it. It needed toner. I swear nobody can do anything for themselves here, you're a doctor for gods sake figure it out."

I thanked her profusely for being competent and this is why we're friends.

Not just a friend, but a hero.

I get the other kind of friend. "Hey, Macaroni! I told my distant acquaintance in Radiology that you're The Tech Guru, so can I have him call you with this question that is completely out of your jurisdiction? Oh wait, I already gave him your number. Thanks!"

# ¿ Mar 6, 2018 15:17

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Those of you that didn't read all of the post missed the part where management asked IT to provide support for drones.

# ¿ Mar 7, 2018 16:52

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

I've only ever had one boss yell directly at me. It was especially great timing because I was going through a really awful time at home with some family crap, and it was such a brutal verbal lashing that I literally packed up my office afterwards. Figured I wasn't going to come back from that one, but stayed in that job another 2 years or so. The next time the boss tried to yell at me I cut her off and asked her to take it down. I definitely deserved some management attention because there were some problems that needed addressing, but I can't really think of any situation that begs for raised voices.

# ¿ Mar 8, 2018 19:40

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Paper Triangle posted:

Mine's "Milcloud"

Mom I'd Like to Cloud?

Edit: This also works with the Cloud>Butt filter.

# ¿ Mar 20, 2018 14:50

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Re: Phishing

After 2 or so years, I finally fell for one of the educational "fake" phishing emails. The security team brilliantly aped a corporate email, all the way down to the logo, wording, and the linked external survey ("Click here to share your thoughts on the recent So-and-So Initiative!"). My last company used an internal tool for surveys, but here we hardly have anything on prem so a link to CorpSurveySite.Com went right under my radar.

Thank goodness it was fake.

# ¿ Apr 4, 2018 14:13

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Judge Schnoopy posted:

Vendors hire from the bottom of the applicant pool to cut costs, just like everybody else basing their company on selling poo poo

For a time I was on a first-name basis with some of the techs at a vendor I work with. We got to be friendly enough that a couple of them asked me for recommendations when they were ready to go to better companies, and I was happy to help out. Unfortunately their replacements were not as skilled at technical stuff or communications,

# ¿ Apr 6, 2018 20:12

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

I remember when my college had a T1 and we all oohed and ahhed over MIT's T3 connection. But I also remember having to literally dial in while living on-campus because my college infrastructure was so lovely. I'm old.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2018 14:36

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Dravs posted:

[permissions shitshow]

The corporate learning platform I support has folder-level permissions. Child folders do not inherit permissions from the parent. I'm not talking an "off by default" setup, I mean "There is no possible way in this system to assign folder permissions to a folder hierarchy." Combine this with trigger-happy admins who like to nest folders six deep, and it leads to hilarious fun.

Bonus: even with my superadmin privileges I can't access all folders. So if somebody creates a giant rats nest of folders, then gets terminated, I have to reactivate their user profile, proxy in as them, then change the folder permissions. I love this system so much.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2018 15:59

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Sefal posted:

Last place I worked at had it designed pretty well.

We had a development environment and a separate testing environment.
Every 3 months. The dev and testing environment, would get copied from the production environment.
This was to keep the dev and test environment up 2 date with production.

It was really good.

At my prior job this was the same, except we only had a DEV environment. I started at current job in September, and we use the same web platform/SAAS as my last job. Except for one thing:

Me: So, how often do we refresh our DEV environment?
Boss: We don't.
Me: Pardon?
Boss: We can't do it because we test in our DEV environment.
Me: I know, that's what it's for, but...the vendor doesn't take good care of DEV instances, and after each quarter they just start telling you to refresh the instance rather than fix anything. So we haven't refreshed since launch in Jan 17?
Boss: Nope!

I've been lobbying for months to just set a deadline and tell the developers "Hey, finish your testing by June 1 because we're nuking everything." Get shot down every time I bring it up. People are starting to test in production because DEV is falling apart. What could go wrong?

# ¿ Apr 12, 2018 15:36

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Proteus Jones posted:

gently caress I hate that.

"So, if the vendor's data center is physically destroyed, and our local network backups in two different states fail, what is our recourse?"

"By that point we will likely have ceased both daily operations as well as new hire onboarding, so yeah."

# ¿ Apr 12, 2018 17:31

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Congrats on the good news, condolences on that exciting email situation. See if Nerdrock's solution works!

# ¿ Apr 18, 2018 14:12

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Sefal posted:

A colleague at the old job said to me "If the company can make more money without you, you'll be gone, no matter how well you perform or are liked"

Do not hesitate to further your own career

As a friend recently put it, "Don't work yourself to death for a company that can replace you before you're buried."

I support a relatively obscure training platform in an area a couple dozen miles from a major city. When I left my last job, I predicted that they'd be in deep trouble trying to replace me quickly. They interviewed the new guy before my last day and he was hired the following month. (At a much higher salary than I got, so at least I hope that stung them a little.)

Moral of the story: take care of you. People who care about the company mission will find a way to make things work after you leave, and people who are lovely will continue to be lovely.

# ¿ Apr 19, 2018 14:13

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

suuma posted:

It's not but I got a raise "for my awesome work"

Nice work!

lambeth posted:

I already , so I give no fucks and am not doing it.

Nice non-work!

# ¿ Apr 27, 2018 17:46

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

my cat is norris posted:

Start sharing your webcam over Skype? BRACE FOR BEEPS. No webcam? No obnoxious over-beeping. I called their support line. They had no idea what the gently caress I was talking about...and yet, firmware version 5.5.4 fixes this issue. Good job, Polycom.

This is one for the "poo poo pissing me off" thread but it's appropriate here too. All the fuckin time:

User: I'm seeing Weird Behavior in $system.
Me: Hmm, that shouldn't be happening. Could be user error. Let me proxy in and...oh yeah, I see it too. Definitely off. Oh poo poo, I can replicate it and the problem is widespread. Let me contact the $system vendor.
Vendor: We are unable to replicate your problem and everything is working fine.
Me: Here's a video capture, please explain why I am seeing it and you are not.
Vendor: Please give us 24 hours to investigate and revert after doing the needful.
Problem mysteriously resolves overnight.
Vendor: We are still unable to replicate, closing ticket.

Four months later

Vendor Presentation: We're also pleased to report that we caught Weird Behavior and addressed it with hotfix PDQWTF_4041218. We're so proactive!

# ¿ May 2, 2018 15:19

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

The weird thing about it is that customer confidence would actually be boosted by the vendor saying, "You're totally right, this is not working and we're going to make it right within two business days. Oh look, we did it in 2 hours! Have a great day!" It's not like they openly report their incident metrics.

# ¿ May 2, 2018 15:39

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Aragaith posted:

Someone or something just locked out every ones accounts at 4:30pm today. For a hospital that has ambulatory sites in a nearly 100 mile radius. Over 4000 user accounts disabled in AD and as far as I'm hearing right now there is currently no way to unlock them. No computer login means no EMR. The downtime solution doesn't really take this into account. I'm only slowly getting the play by play of the 3 hour long conference call going on right now. The word of the day is shitshow.

Reading this makes me more than a little ill. Yikes. I've been through a couple of EMR downtime events (fortunately I don't support the EMR system at all) but never anything like a giant AD lockout. I would not want to be on that conference call.

# ¿ May 4, 2018 14:37

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Data Graham posted:

Google AI goon immediately starts posting incel manifestos and is permabanned

I picture the AI being respectful and considerate enough that it wouldn't turn into an incel.

# ¿ May 14, 2018 14:13

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

If we're having oldchat: I had an Apple IIe and my mom won a Commodore 64 with a tape drive in a drawing. I fought with my parents about my bad handwriting, saying "Look, when I grow up everything is going to be computerized and I won't have to write a drat thing." I lost the battle but won the war.

Collateral Damage posted:

iSCSI over PPPoE over WiFi.

For security reasons.

Cruel.

# ¿ May 30, 2018 15:24

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

A ticket came in: "Remove pregnancy for user."

Fortunately that's shorthand for a course on processing pregnancy tests. Aborting anything more than processes is way out of scope.

# ¿ Jun 12, 2018 15:54

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

duz posted:

Red asterisk pff, turn it into a red bordered box that doesn't look like any other input.

Also have arbitrary data validation with vague user feedback, something like "Error 1951-XU, please reenter needful data properly."

# ¿ Jun 20, 2018 14:23

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

wolrah posted:

I'd happily show up at an office at 8 AM in a suit if it meant I never had to be on call again.

I'm getting mighty dissatisfied with my current position, but whenever I whine, my wife reminds me about being on call at my last job. Then I shut the hell up for a while.

# ¿ Jun 21, 2018 14:40

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

It was a thing for many years, it's how we tracked open rates. Clickthroughs are more important anyway, but a lot of email providers probably still don't block them automatically.

# ¿ Jun 27, 2018 15:07

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Super Soaker Party! posted:

Username and image check out.

A ticket came in: "I just received an email saying my staff did not complete required education by the deadline, but my manager view shows them as compliant without anything overdue."
Response: "It appears that you canceled their mandatory education assignment. Your manager view correctly shows them as compliant because they have, in fact, done everything that wasn't canceled."

I do wish the system displayed more intelligently, but still.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2018 20:59

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Jaded Burnout posted:

It also costs me �100/day to commute.

Holy poo poo. Back when I had a 100+ mile commute, my total monthly cost for public transportation was US$500. I didn't have to go in every day, so it was closer to $400 but still.

# ¿ Jul 10, 2018 14:24

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

The Muffinlord posted:

I just stumbled across a user in AD with the actual factual first name Reaganomics. It's too early to be this done with my day.

"Yo, the best part of you trickled down your mom's leg!"

# ¿ Jul 12, 2018 16:05

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

Man, I wish we'd use some of the tools in ServiceNow for that kind of thing. They are apparently a pain in the rear end to implement--my last job was thinking about starting the process in 2019, and we'd been on SN since 2014. Current job's overall implementation of SN is already a clusterfuck, and nobody is making any moves to improve things.

# ¿ Jul 18, 2018 18:03

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

tactlessbastard posted:

Nice. I once emailed a boss with an issue and asked if he wanted me to implement solution A or solution B or something else.

He responded 'yes'

Had a boss that did that. I would just reply "Yes to which option? I can't proceed until I have a clear understanding." Half the time she'd forget she ever asked for anything.

# ¿ Jul 24, 2018 17:39

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# ¿ Apr 23, 2024 13:54

The Macaroni: Dec 20, 2002; ...it does nothing.

A ticket came in...requesting that I be assigned. Then another ticket. And another.

Apparently the user base is getting the impression that the other person on my team doesn't handle tickets as well as I do, and so they're specifically requesting me by name. I have no idea where they're getting this impression (ahem) but I would really like them to stop.

# ¿ Jul 25, 2018 16:13

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [SPAM] FW: RE: The logs could do with a courtesy flush

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