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Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Good God I know I contributed too but if this panic inducing IT thread making GBS threads continues I might die

Meanwhile two tickets came in on New year's Eve. Both complained their VPN wasn't working. I emailed them back (I know I know) telling them to make sure they're using the new VPN, with the process I personally held their hands through just a week before.

Neither one remembered anything about the new VPN. But I cleared my plate of any responsibility for their deadlines not being met before the end of the year.

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Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Yeah I'd love for my cameras to eat up wan bandwidth every second of the day. Who needs fast internet services??

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Ho boy everybody, just got off a conference call with the executive team. They took today's thread numbers and extrapolated some projections and they are noooooot happy.

At 2 pages today we're looking at 730 pages this year. Expectations were for 750 pages. They want a formal response in two hours on why this thread isn't delivering and what our plan is to fix it. They don't care it's a holiday, get the response in or the team is going to face massive layoffs and they're going to outsource the thread overseas.

Forget your families / friends / obligations / contractual holiday time, let's get cracking on this.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Jaded Burnout posted:

Do you think she's proud of "doing the work of two people", and not saying to her manager "hey how about a raise since I'm apparently worth twice as much now".

You absolutely know this is the case. "I'm saving this company single handedly! I'm so important! It's worth the daily stress every morning when I'm panicking over breakfast because this business and everybody else depends on me!"

If they're lucky they'll connect the dots and realize their extra work puts money in their bosses pockets while they get a hearty pat on the back before they collapse of heart failure at the family picnic.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Dick Trauma posted:

Back when I used it it was a horrible piece of poo poo that constantly blew up and the support was worthless.

Anything with SQL back-end has poo poo support. They can only afford so many SQL engineers, and they're mostly assigned to development. The unfortunate souls they put on support are trained in processes they don't actually understand to clean and reset database connections, and poke around in an attempt to prove user error.

I've only been in one situation where we got high enough up the support chain to speak with one of the SQL engineers. It was by far the best application support I've ever witnessed. They got knee-deep in the database, pulled all sorts of data to prove the problem, and wrote short scripts to create permanent solutions. Even to an IT support guy like I was at the time, it was wizardry.

Good luck ever finding those wizards though.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Potentially every Intel chip for the last decade. Because the flaw could expose privileged data from a web browser's JavaScript, expect all workstations to require firmware updates.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Sickening posted:

So basically this shortcut has given intel a massive competitive advantage for the last decade in performance?

Yeah they beat the competition by ripping open a massive security flaw. Otherwise they wouldn't have soundly trounced the CPU market and caused this huge panic where over 50% of the world's computing power is affected.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Farking Bastage posted:

I'm worried. The police department wants to use the house wireless network for uploading their body cam footage. We have nice stuff ( Extreme wireless 3825 and 3965's, about 100 in total ) but I'm genuinely worried about overall performance when 5 or 6 of them pull up to a fire station, hook into the outdoor AP's and start pushing gigs upon gigs of video across it, especially considering the fact that a lot of the outlying areas have older switches that can only support 1 gig SFP's in addition to saturating the shared bandwidth of the radios, then throw in a full conversion to VOIP this year. This will also throw the wireless, which is generally considered a luxury now, into a public safety issue if something goes awry. Apparently using their air cards is cost prohibitive :(

QoS that traffic to the lowest priority throughout the entire network. It will eat up idle bandwidth without running everything else.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Methanar posted:

We spent more than twice the value of my house on bullshit machine learning blackbox ddos mitigation devices that I currently have in passive mode doing nothing because I don't trust them to not be invisibly loving up everything.

Buying these things were almost certainly the worst mistakes we made when building out a datacenter. We could have purchased 50gbps of bandwidth for 5 years for what we spent on these loving things.

Several times these things have caused horrible horrible impossible to troubleshoot cascading failures. For example, something goes wrong so logging spikes. The spike in logging triggers some ML horseshit to start invisibly dropping traffic to or from AWS (because thats where our logging services were hosted) because this spike of traffic is an anomaly. Same for DNS

What happens when logging traffic or DNS gets dropped? Obviously you send more to log the failure to log or request DNS again.

Never again.

Could you lower the sensitivity so it would take a disaster-level ddos to trigger action?

Or whitelist your cloud service IPs and DNS forwarders so it doesn't interfere with business traffic?

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Our CRM is both tab based and cloud based and Java based. Some tabs take ten seconds to load up. Most people know to leave these tabs open in the background to save time.

One site with a front desk of crotchety old people had no idea about tabs and used three separate computers for front desk work. They would run from one computer to the next to do different functions.

I told them about tabs, showed them how they worked, demonstrated how it saves time, and each one looked at me like I was the stupidest loving person on the planet to suggest this as a solution.

"We need new computers that load faster". No, the constraint also exist in the cloud and with Java and bandwidth. "We need better internet, then". You have the best computer : Mbps ratio of the entire org. "We can't do this. It won't work.". Ok then! Bye!

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

rafikki posted:

Does he do it from the same computer each time? Point a camera right at it.

If I remember anything from my warehouse support days there are 6 people logging in as Joe on 8 different computers because 'it's easier'. Easier than what, nobody knows.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Hahaha internal hiring manager message came in from indeed including this line at the bottom:


recruiter posted:

If you are interested, please get in touch with me. 
Our mail server is down now (and we are planning to migrate very soon anyway). So it might be a couple days before I get any emails. 

Sounds great and not like a dumpster fire at all where do I sign up!!

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

the loving mouse wiggle oh my god i'm in tears

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Do they want a list of files on their drive that have links, or do they want a list of files on all drives that link to files on their drive?

At the very core you're looking at an XY problem for sure. Why the gently caress do they care about file links, and what are they actually attempting to do that brought up their question.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

The Macaroni posted:

I could see my way to a kind of forgiveness if the password were 256 characters long, including dozens of special/numeric characters. But it's always something like *********.

oh hey that's a cool forums feature, automatically protecting passwords!

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Larches everything you listed is a good reason to quit a job, individually. But I also understand your specific situation preventing you from jumping to a different job or leaving the rear end in a top hat of a state you live in.

I'm starting to get a better picture of the CEs origin story. Please don't let yourself become like the CE. If you can't leave, you can at least post here to get expert advice on dealing with your lovely boss and lovely projects.

And start leaving detailed manifestos about the pitfalls of this place around your office / file server. The next guy will get a fun treasure hunt AND might avoid getting sued for disposed equipment.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Maybe you dictate your work schedule to everybody else and blame them if they don't like it. "Due to lack of manpower because the IT employee position has been cut, I will be addressing tickets on Monday Wednesday and Friday from 9 AM to 2 PM. Please wait for one of these time frames if you submit an issue."

At least then you get the point across that you cant do everything at once and are too busy to constantly keep up.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
How many kids have you guys moved away from, personally? How about we think about that before telling this guy to ditch the strongest connection to another human being you can have.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Not tied to an area-specific industry, enjoying low cost of living, other family support / ties to the area?

Larches have you considered starting an MSP / contracting IT projects to local companies so you can stick around, make good money, and not deal with poo poo-rear end bosses that don't give a gently caress about IT?

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

KoRMaK posted:

Instead of waiting for the director to reach out to you, what would happen if you contacted him first?

I don't mean to humanize the guy but why is he such a dick? What stresses are coming down on him? Is there a way you can help him?

The situation seems phenoix projecty, like there's a ton of stress and competing depts and no one is moving forward together. Instead it's just in fighting

It would seem one of two situations: school is losing massive amounts of money and is circling the drain, OR the director is pocketing so much cash in the belief that he'll never have enough to live 'comfortably' and is now so deep in his illusion he can't see himself for a crook.

There's no other reason to constantly consolidate job positions where there were two full time employees before.

Larches at this rate your job will be consolidated with the computer lab attendant.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

larchesdanrew posted:

It’s all coming to a head. Literally everyone in administration is jumping ship after the announcement that we are axing the art program so director won’t have to hire a new art teacher after the current one retires this year.

Everyone is just emailing each other potential jobs at a neighboring college at this point. I’ve got three applications in now.

:getin:

A private STEM school with no loving art program. Yeah, everybody wants to pay for that!

My guess is that attendance will plummet over the next four years as new student intake dives, the director panics over his continued lack of a raise, budgets are slashed due to lack of attendance, and the school closes in 4.5 years. Good luck competing in the oversaturated market, even if those aren't IT employees you're competing against.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
I don't think public schools regularly have dorms, directors, and multi-building campuses.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Maybe it's just a Midwest US thing but we call them superintendents, not directors.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
A buffalo NAS!

In the year 2018,

At 96% capacity,

Localized as your entire DR infrastructure!

May I see it?

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Renegret posted:

we're both idiots who hate money

Apply for clear homerun jobs where you're overqualified, get the offer, and reject the gently caress out of them. It will make you feel a lot better about your job worth to turn down companies who want you.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Oyster posted:

I got a job offer yesterday doing exactly what I do now for a competitor but with more pay, certifications paid for, and a clear promotion path. I called my boss this morning because I quite frankly have no idea if I signed a non-compete when I started here two years ago, and when he asked why I'd need that information I told him honestly.

30 seconds later the senior vice president of the Midwest called me, offered to match the other company, plus cert reimbursement and a clear plan to move into an analyst role.

I told him I'd stay if he could make that happen. He has 48 hours before I accept the other job. Hoping that was the right call.

Funnily enough no one directly answered if I signed a non-compete, but given the quick turnaround and counteroffer I'm going to guess the answer is "no".

Strongly consider taking a counter-offer. This thread is proof that there are no absolutes, and sometimes counter-offers can work out for the better.

But remember that this company had to be threatened into losing you as an employee before they were willing to budge. The competitor was willing to offer you everything you wanted based on your resume and interview. They might have a bit more respect for you out of the gate.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Proteus Jones posted:

Do not go down this road. Either take the counter-offer or don't. Once you start playing games like this, it's really easy to get the rug pulled out from under you.

Yeah you've been through the interviews and you know what each company is like. What do you think is the best fit for you? Who do you like better? Go with them and be happy.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
That's not how buying things work!

Have they never bought something before??

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

wolrah posted:

You are much more mature than I about that. If I encountered one of these idiots I'd be scrambling to find an AP with the most and largest antennas I could get to put as close as possible to their desk.

"Sorry, our coverage survey says we need some extra capacity right here"

Put one of these in his office and point them straight at his head

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Well, today's the day I migrate a full network stack from a wall-mounted 12U rack with antiquated poo poo to a full cabinet on the other side of the wall with brand new gear. Re-terminating 24 cables, 30% of which we don't know are long enough to reach the new patch panel. During business hours at a notoriously cranky and bitchy site if things aren't ~*perfect*~

If you don't hear from me in two days, I've quit IT and gotten a job at McDonalds to reduce my stress.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Bigass Moth posted:

Lock the door while you're working. Don't come out until it's done.

The new cabinet is right behind the front desk, mere feet from the most complainy users and customers who act like taking a few extra minutes to process their credit card is a federal crime that should be punished by weaponized whining

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

blackswordca posted:

So a phone call came in...

... with a job offer working with a large bank. Its not helpdesk so no more fixing printers or crap like that.

Plus the 50% pay raise is nice too!

:yotj:

Ill be supporting one or two internal apps. By supporting them I mean calling the vendor when it breaks.

Welcome to pod life my friendo

you deserve it!

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

nullfunction posted:

Too loving real, this was a major part of my job at a bank. Now that I'm on the vendor side integrating with the Fiserv, FIS, JHA trio, I no longer believe Fiserv is the least competent. :downs:

:yotj: though! Banking is actually a pretty decent place to be in technology in my experience.

Though fiserv changes monthly as they buy competitor products, absorb 10% support staff and gut the rest. Then that support staff trains fiserv people.

So every new thing they role out has three months - one year where it's total and absolute poo poo, followed by it being ok again.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
Old lovely inherited rack inside an office, loud as poo poo and at full capacity.



My handiwork in a shiny new locked cabinet behind the front desk.



The cabinet is settled into a recess that used to house power equipment from the 70s. There is a nice 10 foot brain stem leading to the patch panel on the wall. The whole cabinet wheels out 6 feet to allow easy access to the recess / back of cabinet.

gently caress you awful networking, get the gently caress out of here!

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
A study in X Y problems came in:

Lady accidentally unplugged Ethernet cable from computer. It connected to the public WiFi. Because it's on public WiFi, she can't print anything.

Lady is requesting internal WiFi key so she can print.

It never crossed her mind to solve the problem by figuring out how to plug the computer back in.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
I'm phasing out desktops for laptops. Our CRM is web based, our folders are redirected, and other line of business apps don't require heavy resources. For my users it's way more productive to take their laptop to a meeting than to have a beefy desktop.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
The pipes are full. It's not a big truck.

Sending less emails to me will help unclog the pipes thanks

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal
That sounds like an insane amount of billable hours either way, so yeah certainly not the worst thing to do.

Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

Dick Trauma posted:

Two new high level executives are starting tomorrow. The COO has been getting antsy because the both left very important positions at real companies to join our shitshow. They don't realize yet that they've been conned.

Anyway, I have all their tech equipment in place. Bill has done his part by making sure one office has an old chair that is missing all but one caster, and the chair in the other office looks like someone was sitting on it when they gave birth.

:thumbsup:


EDIT: ^^^^ You need to velcro those four power cords together so they can efficiently be yanked out at the same time by accident.

Hahaha holy poo poo not getting a working chair on day one would have me back at my old employer like 'what two weeks notice, I never quit'

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Judge Schnoopy
Nov 2, 2005

dont even TRY it, pal

dogstile posted:

Big bang is the bane of my life because of the constant "You work in IT? Do you like the big bang theory then?"

At this point i'm half convinced its a goddamn conspiracy to make me mad

Wow IT guy you are just so smart, look at you working with all this code (powershell). It's like that guy on that show, Big Bang haha! Do you watch that show?? Sheldon is so funny, I bet you understand like every joke on that show lol!

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