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Otherkinsey Scale
Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!


Not-Magneto just yelling orders at himself, while Namor stares out the window hoping the fish comes back.

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Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


It's a good strategy by Spider-Man, it's literally impossible for missiles to hit a target the size of New York from 100 feet away if they can't see it.

Cat Mattress
Jul 14, 2012

I don't find this sort of thing funny


If only this was a crossover with Dr McNinja:

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

I've got a home for
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with friendly writers
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Pillbug



Is the boat still flying? Is it at the docks? What is going on?

Ikasuhito
Sep 29, 2013

Haram as Fuck.


Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006




Soiled Meat

I had kraboooom mammon for dinner the other night.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



Ahahaha, amazing. >:I MJ is just off-panel.

Proteus Jones
Feb 28, 2013





Hair Elf

Jerusalem posted:

Ahahaha, amazing. >:I MJ is just off-panel.

KaoliniteMilkshake
Jul 9, 2010




Perfect.

Payndz
Sep 22, 2006

They smelled of pubs, and Wormwood Scrubs, and too many right-wing meetings.

So I twatted them with a magic yo-yo. Because, hell, why not?


Johnny Walker posted:



Is the boat still flying? Is it at the docks? What is going on?
So I guess Namor is also strong enough to rip steel with his bare hands, since he was able to wrestle Spider-Man for more than 0.5 seconds.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

in the water namor is a pretty good match against the hulk. dude's ridiculous.

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

I've got a home for
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Pillbug



Push El Burrito
May 9, 2006




Soiled Meat


Oh Peter you are so weak and cowardly. While Prince Namor is so strong and valiant. His muscles glisten and his smile gleams.

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!


How is that soldier even holding that phone? There's he isn't going to drop it, unless he has a freakishly long thumb or sticky fingers... Somehow...

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006



Payndz posted:

So I guess Namor is also strong enough to rip steel with his bare hands, since he was able to wrestle Spider-Man for more than 0.5 seconds.

I think I know this one. Wet rulers can rip steel, seems?

Otherkinsey Scale
Jul 17, 2012

Just a little bit of sunshine!


Lobok posted:

I think I know this one. Wet rulers can rip steel, seems?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?



Thank you

Lobok posted:

I think I know this one. Wet rulers can rip steel, seems?

Jesus loving Christ

evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status:Perpetually fearful

Atlantean subs: Powerful enough to possibly withstand a tankshot, since they were flying first into combat.

Also Atlantean subs: Easily torn apart by resident idiot Spider-man.

Binary Badger
Oct 11, 2005

Trolling Link for a decade



That's MISTER resident idiot to you, buster!

In regular continuity Namor is supposed to be in the 'Heavyweights' class and Spidey is in the 'Super-Mediumweights' class.

But since this is newspaper continuity, who the hell knows.

Spider-Man, able to rip apart ships made of Atlantean steel, but can be reduced to a quivering wreck with a simple phrase uttered by a child.

"Why aren't you an Avenger yet?"

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Pretty much every super hero is In the 'whatever suits the story' class.

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

I've got a home for
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Pillbug



Peter's abs are like half as chiseled as Namor's.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Is the military also honor bound to not interfere in this fight?

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer

Right now it's a private matter, no need to make it a diplomatic one.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






goatface posted:

Right now it's a private matter, no need to make it a diplomatic one.

"Spider-Man heroically defeated Namor by punching a hole in his head. No shots were fired."

David D. Davidson
Nov 17, 2012

Orca lady?

Johnny Walker posted:



Peter's abs are like half as chiseled as Namor's.

Naturally we don't see MJ's other hand because shes masturbating to the beating that her husband is about to receive.

goatface
Dec 5, 2007

I had a video of that when I was about 6.

I remember it being shit.


Grimey Drawer

Alhazred posted:

"Spider-Man heroically defeated Namor by punching a hole in his head. No shots were fired."

The coroners recorded a verdict of "Ugh, muties" and "boys will be boys".

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

I've got a home for
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Pillbug



Yeah how do they work?

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Spidey: I don't have kids!
Namor: .... very well, go and get your wife pregnant at least twice. I will allow you to live till the 18th year of your youngest in order to avoid childhood trauma... if they go to college I will also hold off until they graduate. Once they have however, you shall die, and then I shall find them and expla-
Spider-Man has fallen asleepunconscious

Cat Mattress
Jul 14, 2012

I don't find this sort of thing funny


Johnny Walker posted:



Yeah how do they work?

"Can you fly into space? Because my beautiful raccoon son has gone back to some distant star or something... And he never writes!"

Lurdiak
Feb 25, 2006

I believe in a universe that doesn't care, and people that do.


Johnny Walker posted:



Yeah how do they work?

According to the marvel handbook they're more for flight control than propulsion, although it varies. This one time Venom ripped them off and Namor couldn't fly for the rest of the story.

It wasn't even the good Venom.

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

I've got a home for
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ideas,stories and photos
with friendly writers
and editors.


Pillbug

Lurdiak posted:

According to the marvel handbook they're more for flight control than propulsion, although it varies.
That doesn't make much sense, but I guess it's better than "We put wings on him when we created him just because Greek gods and stuff and didn't put much more thought into it."



"Ha! Now I'm fighting underwater, but one arm is occupied!"

Johnny Walker
Jun 14, 2005

I've got a home for
Bloggers Let's exchange
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Pillbug



Some Newspaper Spider-Man physics happening.

MorningMoon
Dec 29, 2013

Goons Steal?
No Dignity!



Namor: drat, the dock drew first blood. I'll beat you up underwater twice as hard to feel better.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006



Johnny Walker posted:



Some Newspaper Spider-Man physics happening.

Can't believe Spider-Man would sacrifice his precious hands just to protect his skull.

gimme the GOD DAMN candy
Jul 1, 2007

Ask me about the hate crime perpetrated against a gay black man, and how it was a real hate crime and totally not fabricated. I am well acquainted with the facts of this actual hate crime which actually took place in actuality.

namor can't beat me up if i knock myself unconscious first!

Knormal
Nov 11, 2001



Taco Defender

And now, having smashed himself through the dock head-first, they'll end up in the water anyway.

Alhazred
Feb 16, 2011






Knormal posted:

And now, having smashed himself through the dock head-first, they'll end up in the water anyway.

Luckily, air is Namor's element.

evilmiera
Dec 14, 2009

Status:Perpetually fearful

Johnny Walker posted:



Some Newspaper Spider-Man physics happening.

Then they crash into the giant pile of used needles and crushed beer cans that lie beneath the piers of every dock in New York. Namor, being an out-of-towner, immediately succumbs, while Peter just gets nostalgic.

So, in the end, pollution saves the day, in a poetic twist worthy of Spider-man.

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006



Alhazred posted:

Luckily, air is Namor's element.

"Lucky for you big guy, I've got a pocket of air under my mask."
"Maybe I'll take that air by force. With my lips."
"Then that would be the second time you've taken my breath awa----"

MJ! Hey! What are you daydreaming about over there?

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Hellblazer187
Oct 12, 2003

Ozzy and Zakk!

I come from 100 pages ago. Is it really over? Is it really really over?

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