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14) something rattling the bushes near the lake nope. no. hell no. what if it's a mountain lion? gently caress no. 13) other humans usually just awkward 12) skunk cute but zero fun due to their terrifying natural weapon of making you smelly 11) cat either chilling or scampering away whatevs 10) dog (in yard) probably barking. calm down dude 9) cat that lets me pet it nice 8) dog (elsewhere) some of you are probably already taking issue with this ranking, and while I'm not denying that he's a good boy, it becomes a problem because I feel like I have to make sure they get home ok, and suddenly my whole night becomes about that. otherwise would be much higher 7) deer weird and cool the first few times, after that almost pestilentially common. always worried they're gonna randomly spook and trample/gore me 6) regular bird go to sleep,bird 5) raccoon now we're getting somewhere! I love these small, wide bandits withheir tiny human hands, and so do you, probably, unless their tiny human hands creep you out, which is fair 4) barn owl beautiful mysterious sky dorks, BUT, the fricken noise they make? unbelievably lovely. it's like raeeeeeirck! raeeeeeeeeeeeeeiiiiirck!!! 3) raccoon mama w/babies usually running through the creek or into a storm drain. owns. what do they do down there? makes the sound of a loud rush of many skittering claws 2) opossum gently caress. yes. now this dumb mammal, is an exquisite night beast, that I am always happy to watch trundle around and do a bad job of hiding. though we can't always be together, I'll always admire you from afar, white faced woods monster 1) opossum mama w/ babies  this is the best animal, a filthy many-faced many toothed many clawed ball of teeth and eyes made out of one good mom creature and her innumerable perfect precious gutter babies. I love them so much... I just want them to be happy :') |
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Jan 2, 2018 12:10
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 12:32 |
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finally the tier list that byob has been waiting for |
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Jan 2, 2018 14:34
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alnilam posted:finally the tier list that byob has been waiting for also I love the fact that possums can look toothy and fierce but they actually do not want to fight at all quote:The animal’s most famous talent, “playing possum,” is not a voluntary response to a threat. If hissing, lunging or baring its teeth does not ward off a problem, an opossum actually faints from stress. Physiologically, the opossum shuts down, balls up its front feet and goes limp. It may even drool from its open mouth.
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Jan 2, 2018 15:31
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One time I was parking my car late at night and as I stepped out the door a grey fox trotted right past me (less than a meter away). Its mouth was stuffed with the fattest pigion I have ever seen. As it passed we made eye contact and it gave a little head nod as if to say "sup?". |
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Jan 2, 2018 16:25
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alnilam posted:finally the tier list that byob has been waiting for 
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Jan 2, 2018 16:31
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10 -- Wendigo Coming in at number 10 with a bullet is the Wendigo; these guys are freaky!! At first glance they look kind of cute, but then you see their horrible beady eyes and their weird repitilian/mammalian features and... actually nvm, I just looked up what a wendigo is and I was using the wrong word. Apparently the correct term is "possum." Learn something new every day. 9 -- Dementor Wouldn't it be weird if you were walking home from the bar all by yourself and then boom, there's a Dementor, straight out of Harry Potter? For a moment you'd probably think "the books were true! Magic is real," and then you would remember that Jeff is a real prankster and you'd say "Ok Jeff, the jig is up, I know it's you!" and Jeff would be like "haha you should have seen your face, you really thought Harry Potter was real" and you'd say "yeah, just for a moment hahaha" but in your head you're thinking "you know what? It still might be real" which would be a good feeling, and also Jeff usually has cigarettes, so, bonus, because you smoked all yours at the bar. So that's why seeing a Dementor is number 9 on my list of animals in my town at night ranked by how cool they are to encounte. 8 -- Alligator What is this? Florida? No. It's New Jersey. And what is that, an alligator? or is it a crocodile? Which one is native to New Jersey? It’s a mini-golf hazard? Cool, take a snap of me peeing in its mouth and send it to Frank, he’ll get a kick out of it. Cool. How cool? I’d say maybe…eighth on a list of ten cool. Wait, was my dick in the snap? I wanted you to get it from an angle where all you see is the stream. Oh, it’s not? Oh. Ok. Good. 7 – Dickfor Think about that one for a while. When you get it, you’ll laugh. 6 – Bird I didn’t know there were birds at night, except for owls and nighthawks. I know what an owl looks like, and this bird isn’t an owl. I don’t know what a nighthawk looks like, but from the name, you can tell a nighthawk is cool as poo poo, and this bird is kind of lame, to be honest. It’d be lower on the list because of how lame it is, but I saw the possum first and I don’t feel like going back and fixing it. 5 – Other bird It’s too dark to see if this is the same kind of bird as the other one so I’m going to say: no, it’s a different kind of bird. It could be anything: an owl, a nighthawk, a different kind of bird, or even not a bird at all. It could be a wizard in the shape of a bird, if magic is real, which it might be, no matter what Jeff says. Anyway, between “bird” and “bird shrouded in inky darkness,” there’s no contest as to which is cooler, so advantage Other Bird. 4 – Neighbor’s dog Some people think the neighbor’s dog isn’t cool because if you’re walking close to the fence it’ll run up and start barking. But to me, that’s why it’s so cool, because if you know that it’s coming, you can act like it’s no big deal while Jeff freaks the gently caress out, even though inside you’re like “woahhhh that scared the poo poo out of me!” You think that Dementor prank was funny, Jeff? It wasn’t half as funny as watching you get barked at, numbnuts. The really cool thing is that Jeff will want to hit a jack after getting spooked, so you can smoke another one too. 3 – Bat It would be cool if you saw a bat, but they’re kind of hard to see. But you can say “what was that?” and then count to three and then say “must’ve just been a bat” and shrug, like you see bats all the time. 2 – Gnome “See the gnome? You know you’re home.” That’s a rhyme I made up one time, coming home from the bar. The other part of the rhyme isn’t about animals but it goes “If in the road you fall, the cops they will call.” 1 – Human I bet you didn’t see this one coming, but let me remind you that man is also an animal, and it’s a cool one, too. We use tools, we create cities, we drink beers, we make lists of animals and put ourselves number one on the list. And if other animals don’t like it? Well, they can try to write their own lists, but they won’t. Except for maybe that one gorilla, but he’s basically almost human anyway. ---------------- |
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Jan 2, 2018 18:38
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https://i.imgur.com/hASyVet.mp4
Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Jan 2, 2018 19:07
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My old apartment complex had bats that would swarm and fly between the buildings at night, which was very cool. |
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Jan 2, 2018 19:17
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last week i was camping in death valley and there were many wild burros and coyotes at night but it wasn't a town so i don't think this counds |
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Jan 2, 2018 19:24
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i've encountered many wild burritos at night, looking for prey around their 7-11 hunting grounds
Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Jan 2, 2018 19:37
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What's a burrito? e: oh, a burriot. ---------------- |
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Jan 2, 2018 19:40
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yeah burriot, but in my local dialect they spell is burrito
Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Jan 2, 2018 19:42
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Ahh yes the noble possum a.k.a. the yard rat, the poor man's raccoon, nature's bum.
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Jan 3, 2018 00:42
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Koishi Komeiji posted:Ahh yes the noble possum a.k.a. the yard rat, the poor man's raccoon, nature's bum. 
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Jan 3, 2018 02:01
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(1) rats with beady eyes who eat fruit out of my trees, gnaw through my lawn furniture, and leave crap everywhere: get the hell out (2) squirrels with beady eyes who eat fruit out of my trees, gnaw through my lawn furniture, and leave crap everywhere: aww loook at the fluffy squirrelly
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Jan 3, 2018 02:24
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ur sleepin on regular bird he's chill af |
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Jan 3, 2018 04:05
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Pharmaskittle posted:My old apartment complex had bats that would swarm and fly between the buildings at night, which was very cool. I live in the country, so I get to see many bats, raccoons, oppossums, etc. every summer. In the winter, I stay inside and pout. Anyway, bats and stuff are cool. And Possums are just very pathetically silly the way they hiss and pretend to be vicious, when we all know that they are absurd scaredy-possums.
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Jan 3, 2018 05:03
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Deer are just rats with horns. Scrounging bastards have been the bane of my grandpa's existence for decades. |
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Jan 3, 2018 05:48
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| # ? Apr 23, 2024 12:32 |
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Koishi Komeiji posted:Ahh yes the noble possum a.k.a. the yard rat, the poor man's raccoon, nature's bum. And number 1 in the official byob tier list Apparently I'm #1 Kotori fan |
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Jan 3, 2018 21:36
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