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Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Over seven million words. Over six hundred authors. In our sixth year of unfathomable reader anguish.



Thunderdome 2012: FYI, I do take big dumps, holla.
Thunderdome 2013: If this were any other thread we'd all be banned by now
Thunderdome 2014teen: Stories from the Abonend Bunker
Thunderdome 2015teen: Weekly Stories with Positive People
Thunderdome 2016teen: Fast Writing, Bad Writing
Thunderdome 2017teen: Prose and Cons


Click for the current prompt!


What are these bloodstained sands I see before me?

Welcome to Thunderdome, a vicious, bloody, no-holds-barred flash fiction contest with a new opportunity to eviscerate your opponents every week. The judges watch the spectacle from on high, and they condemn the weak while raising the worthy into glory. Barbed critiques will tear at your ego but leave you the stronger for it. This is an arena for people who want their words to suffer the cleansing fire.

If you'd rather have your posterior patted, Fanfiction.net is thataway.


Sounds great. How do I start murdering all of you with my writing?
  • Step 1: Read the prompt post.
  • Step 2: Read the prompt post again.
  • Step 3: Post "In!" or some wildly clever variant by the signup deadline. What deadline, you ask? Refer to Steps 1 and 2.
  • Step 4: Write a story that follows the guidelines laid out in the prompt post (i.e. whatever the judge told you to do, you suppurating tardigrade).
  • Step 5: Proofread it, for the love of gently caress.
  • Step 6: Post your story by the submission deadline. What deadline, you ask? Refer to Steps 1 and 2, then stick your head in a blender.
  • Step 7: Sit back and bask in the agony of the judges who have to read your word vomit.
Sitting Here created this guide to formatting submissions. Behold its wonder.

Once you've posted the story, you're done. No edits. No take-backsies. Edited stories will disqualified. You have climbed aboard the fast train to Shametown, and only the strength of your skill and your effort can keep you from permanent residence there.

The winner of the week ascends the Blood Throne and chooses the next prompt. He must find two souls willing to join him in his torment. This team of three will read the incoming entries and pass judgment upon them, and so ensure the cycle of futile suffering continues.

The loser gets a free avatar!



Snazzy, don't you think?


Oh, God, I've won. What now??

I recommend questioning your life decisions.

Thunderdome's cardinal rule is ius iudicis: judge’s right, judge’s responsibility, judge’s law. The lead judge is lord for the week, but with great power comes great responsibility to not gently caress everything up more than is inevitable. Your first step should be to read this page. Your second should be to post a prompt before the masses flood the thread with impatient, crappy .gifs.

A judge should be prepared to read around 15,000 to 30,000 words in the span between the deadline and Tuesday night. (Wednesday judgments happen, but they're an abomination. The week will have abominations enough without your help.) If you know you won't have time to do this, announce your abdication. Someone else is sure to leap at the chance to make goons' lives hell! A winner who hasn't shown her face by midweek is liable to forfeit the prompt.

The other task of judging is to critique all the non-disqualified entries. Crits are the gears that keep Thunderdome turning and masochists coming back for more, so yes, you really ought to explain to that person with the new losertar just why his story sucks. The ideal crit will offer at least three points of feedback, but you do you.

Finally:

quote:

Three shall be the number of judges, and the number of judges shall be three.

Four shall not judge, nor either shall those judging number two, excepting that thou then include a third.

Five is right out.

The triangulation of opinions and viewpoints works well and delivers more crits to the entrants besides, assuming the judges aren't lazy assholes. Do not judge alone if you can help it.


You plebians simply do not understand my literary greatness.

Keep telling yourself that, sunshine. If you want to discuss the hitherto unrecognized merits of your latest fecal vignette, head over to the Fiction Farm or, for more general questions, to Fiction Advice. This thread is for three things:
  • Posting stories.
  • Judging stories.
  • Critting stories.
Banter isn't strictly part of the mission statement, but the Thunderdome experience wouldn't be the same without it. Pulling someone's pigtails may have consequences, however; refer to the post about brawls below.

Nowhere on that list is "whining about stories" for the excellent reason that no one wants to wade through that sewage.


What else can I do to piss you guys off for reasons whereof Reason knows nothing?

Oh, lots, but here are particular things to avoid:

  • Prefacing your entries with explanations, excuses, or self-flagellation. Have some bloody dignity.

  • Editing your submissions. That must bear repeating, because people just can't seem to help themselves.

  • White-noise shitposts; fine artisanal shitposts may pass muster.

  • Fanfiction. To quote a previous OP on this matter, FANFICTION IS NEVER OKAY EVEN IF YOU THINK YOU ARE BEING CLEVER BY HIDING THE FANFICTION IN WHAT AT FIRST SEEMS TO BE A SERIOUS STORY FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK I will slap your face into ugly little pieces.

  • Erotica. Keep your greasy, pathetic attempts to turn on something other than your computer out of this thread. You can be disqualified for fanfic or erotica whether a judge explicitly forbids them or not.

  • Talking smack without doing the writing to back it up.

  • Failing to understand kayfabe:

    quote:

    kayfabe /ˈkeɪfeɪb/ is the portrayal of staged events within the industry as "real" or "true," specifically the portrayal of competition, rivalries, and relationships between participants as being genuine and not of a staged or pre-determined nature. Kayfabe has also evolved to become a code word of sorts for maintaining this "reality" within the realm of the general public

    Thunderdome was born in a storm of sass and swagger, and the freedom to go all out in critiques, guns blazing, is what keeps it from devolving into the sort of worthless hugbox we all know and hate. That said, showmanship is one thing; being a fuckstick is another. Don't be a fuckstick.

  • Putting a quote tag anywhere, anywhere in your goddamn story, because there is no eternal penance sufficiently severe for the despair you would thus wreak you absolute irredeemable rear end in a top hat. (It makes archiving hard, okay? Judges can DQ you for this one, too. Quoting a prompt assignment above your title is fine.)

  • Failing every damned week you enter. If you enter and then fail to submit a story, you should yourself on your next entry to castrate your abhorrence before it can breed.

  • Ignorance of rules explicitly mentioned in this here OP.


Anything else I should know?

The word count is a hard maximum. The deadlines are absolute. Mercy is at the judges' discretion. Complain to mods about Thunderdome judgment at the peril of being derided for as long as goons remember that dumb thing you did, which is to say forever.

Our channel on SynIRC, #thunderdome, is a place for participants to hang out and talk about their work in real time. Pop in with questions if you have them, and once you've spilled blood in our combat arena you're welcome to stay a while.

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Sep 19, 2018 around 01:50

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sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk

On brawling, by Sebmojo:



brawling what so someone said something mean and your bottom lip is doing that quivery thing and you feel like you can't go a single second more without punching a motherfucker? thunderdome has just the thing.

you can't fight here it's the Thunderdome when two people hate each other very much, and one of them is you, you get to slap down a challenge. make it big, make it brassy; you're slapping your sex bits down on the bar, try and make 'em bounce a little.

help someone's slapped me with something help accepting brawl challenges isn't required, but if you like to sling the poo poo around (and you should) then failing to back up your bad words with good ones will be remembered.

how does it work? once you've thrown down a challenge, and had it accepted, a brawl judge will step up just like that weird bartender in The Shining. they'll give you a prompt, a word count and a deadline. they'll also, and this is real important, state the this means if you fail to submit by the deadline then you get banned. the judge doesn't need to give you an extension.

what do you mean banned brawl toxxes are obligatory. if you're actually a literal secret agent and you've just discovered you're parachuting into Syria in two hours time then get on irc, snivel at your judge and maybe they'll remove the from the prompt, but expect that to be a one-time mercy if you gently caress it up.

anything else? don't challenge anyone until you've done a few rounds, good grudges take time to fester, don't step up to judge a brawl unless you've at least got an HM or the participants have asked you to, and declining a random drive-by brawl is more acceptable than one with a grudge behind it. this place runs on words, and hatred, and you gotta fuel the fire

is that it yes, fight well you horrible monsters

sebmojo fucked around with this message at Jan 16, 2018 around 11:28

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Assembled for Your Convenience: The Thunderdome Archive!

Once upon a time, two Thunderdome veterans who shared a love of statistics and a touch of OCD conceived of the greatest project ever imagined: the Thunderdome Archive, where everyone's literary shame could be displayed forever. crabrock bought a domain and coded his visions into reality. Kaishai assisted him by trawling the threads for prompts, stories, and relevant .gifs. To this day, they fight to preserve Thunderdome's coprophilic heritage.

The Archive's purpose is to store the millions of words written for TD to date. If you want to make use of it to the fullest degree (which includes reading the stories), you'll need an account, and you can request one through the link at the top left of the index. Note that accounts are open to participants only! If you're desperate to read about Vorpal Drones and vambraces at sea without searching the threads, you must first shed blood.

We have graphs!




We have lists and rankings!







We have mad libs!



(Please read "Rural Rentboys," Thunderdome's most beloved classic, to understand 2018teen and to reach true spiritual enlightenment.)


And much, much more! Visit the Thunderdome Archive today!

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Jan 6, 2018 around 05:49

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Presenting, for your listening pleasure, the Thunderdome Recaps podcast!



The worst thing about authors is that they don’t do enough navel gazing. To that end, a group of courageous and perhaps slightly masochistic TDers pooled their gumption and embarked on a venture to enumerate in audio format the plentiful sins of the dome.

The most current episode will always be available here.

For additional features, please see the Audio Recaps page on the archive! There are several extra features, including the ability to sort through episodes by weeks covered, plus extensive time stamps so you can skip forward to the exact moment we namedrop you.

Your recappers are:

Sitting Here: The idiot they convinced to run this goofball brigade.
Kaishai: The reason that anyone finds these episodes informative.
Ironic Twist: *Audible groan*

Also featuring:
Djeser: Guy who knows a lot of names for penises
Bad Seafood: Sometimes he brings a Ukulele!
...And many more of your favorite domers!

Massive extra thank you to Kaishai for her continuing hard work on making the archive an amazing and comprehensive tool.

Credit to Sebmojo for the theme music.

Sitting Here fucked around with this message at Jan 3, 2018 around 07:03

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Past Weeks of Thunderdome, 2012-2015
pre:
Week		Title								Winner		
I		Man Agonizes Over Potatoes					Sitting Here
II		Dystopian Chick-Lit						budgieinspector
III		Check Your Cis Privilege in Swaziland				sebmojo
IV		last man in the moon						toanoradian
V		Gary Numan, Fucksticks						Nyarai
VI		VI: Week Six: It Rhymes with Dicks				SurreptitiousMuffin 
VII		The goons who lose will pay the highest price			budgieinspector (II)
VIII		Martello's Girlfriend Said, "I'm late!"				Y Kant Ozma Post
IX		Old Sex/Lawn Sounds						sebmojo (II)
X		THE DARK LORD'S CORNFLAKES					Sitting Here (II)
XI		Betrayal, by Zdzislaw Beksiñski					Jeza
XII		Hateful Protagonist						Fanky Malloons
XIII		Real Natural Horror, Bitches					Toaster Beef
XIV		You Shouldn't Be Here						Sitting Here (III)
XV		Sharp Vision Soothes Strong Reaction				LordVonEarlDuke
XVI		Oh the weave we web						Sitting Here (IV)
XVII		I Don't Know You						V for Vegas
XVIII		Two Men Enter, One Man Leaves
A		Round One							Res|ults
B		Round Two							sebmojo (III)
XIX		How Deep is my Fuckin' Love					Peel
XX		Face Your Destiny						The Saddest Rhino
XXI		Welcome to My Sensorium						Fanky Malloons (II)
XXII		Schroedinger’s Nihilarian					sebmojo (IV)
XXIII		DIE FOR YOUR POETRY						twinkle cave
XXIV		Keyboard Kings							Capntastic
XXV		What They Deserve						STONE OF MADNESS
XXVI		THUNDERDOME RADIO RADIO RADIO!					sebmojo (V)
XXVII   	There is only PAIN						EchoCian
XXVIII  	Show me the love!						Kaishai
XXIX		Written in the Stars						sebmojo (VI)
XXX		We're 30 / Time to get dirty / LET US gently caress			Oxxidation
XXXI		Russian Nesting Dolls						Some Strange Flea
XXXII		Playing Angry Birds on a Derailing Train			Fanky Malloons (III)
XXXIII		The Ides of Marx						Nubile Hillock
XXXIV		No dragonshirts at the club					systran
XXXV		Pictures and Books						Sitting Here (V)
XXXVI   	Polishing Turds							Dr. Kloctopussy
XXXVII  	Professional Excellence						systran (II)
XXXVIII 	Mandatory Thunderbrawls						Nikaer Drekin, Nubile Hillock (II), and Fumblemouse
XXXIX   	Lurid & Astounding Tales of Pulp Submissions			Kaishai (II)
XL		Poor Richard's Thundervision					Bad Seafood
XLI		Get Everybody and Stuff Together				Noah
XLII		Been Called Worse by Better					crabrock
XLIII		He's Dead, Horatio						Oxxidation (II)
XLIV		Old Testament Studies with Chairchucker				sebmojo (VII)
XLV		That Prisoners Call the Sky					Fumblemouse (II)
XLVI		A Child's Garden of WTF						Kaishai (III)    
XLVII		The Rule of Three						Sitting Here (VI)
XLVIII		Sitting Here is a Lazy Stoner					V for Vegas (II)
XLIX		You Have Chosen...Poorly 					Kaishai (IV)
L		Fifty Shades of Thunderdome					Anathema Device
LI		We Told You So							Umbilical Lotus
LII		Cyberblaxploitation Anniversary					Fumblemouse (III)
LIII		The Horrors of History						Noah (II)
LIV		Petty Politics							The Saddest Rhino (II)
LV		School of a Certain Trade					Sitting Here (VII)
LVI		Keyhole Views							Didja Redo
LVII		No Characters Allowed						Zack_Gochuck
LVIII		Seeing vs Seen							systran (III)
LIX		Write Where You Live						Kaishai (V)
LX		The Case of the Regrettable Entries				Erogenous Beef
LXI		Twisted Traditions						crabrock (II)
LXII		Thunderdome Against Humanity					Fumblemouse (IV)
LXIII		Who finds short shorts unbearably depressing?			Sitting Here (VIII)
LXIV		Dead or Alive							Echo Cian (II)
LXV		Songs We Were Singing						Kaishai (VI)
LXVI		Know When to Fold 'Em						Quidnose
LXVII		Lions and Tigers and Bears					Erogenous Beef (II)
LXVIII		Once Upon A Crime						Fumblemouse (V)
LXIX		Good, Giving and Game						Jeza (II)
LXX		"And what did you see, my darling young one?"			God Over Djinn
LXXI		A way with words						foutre
LXXII		big as poo poo							crabrock (III)
LXXIII		My God It's Full of Starfish					Roguelike
LXXIV		Y Tu Thunderdome!?						sentientcarbon
LXXV		He's Not Quite Dead						Peel (II)
LXXVI		The Mystery of the Finite					God Over Djinn (II)
LXXVII		Well gee, that's certainly something				Tyrannosaurus
LXXVIII		Past Glories							Kaishai (VII)
LXXIX		Periodic Stories of the Elements				God Over Djinn (III)
LXXX		"Why don't you ask your huge cock?"				Erogenous Beef (III)
LXXXI		Chairchucker's LEGO prompt about LEGO for people who like LEGO	systran (IV)
LXXXII		Captain Thunderdome						Oxxidation (III)
LXXXIII		Comma, Noun, Verb						Kaishai (VIII)
LXXXIV		Who You Gonna Call?						Bad Seafood (II)
LXXXV		Ground Control to Major Tom					WeLandedOnTheMoon!
LXXXVI		Have You Seen My Trophy?					HopperUK
LXXXVII		Touched by a Thunderdome					Fumblemouse (VI)
LXXXVIII	The Wise Fool							Nethilia
LXXXIX		We Don't Need No Water, Let The drat Roof Burn			curlingiron
XC		Down With the Sickness						theblunderbuss
XCI		OUR FINEST HOUR							Tyrannosaurus (II)
XCII		The Great White Elephant Gift Exchange!				Meeple
XCIII		The wind is rising, so we must try to live			Meinberg
XCIV		TRULY ALIEN							Sitting Here (IX)
XCV		Inhuman Centipede						Tyrannosaurus (III)
XCVI		Free to a good home!						docbeard
XCVII		Neither Tarnished Nor Afraid					Kaishai (IX)
XCVIII		Music of the Night						Anomalous Blowout
XCIX		COME TO YOUR SENSES!						crabrock (IV)
C		The Black Attache Case						Various
CI		WAR								Tyrannosaurus (V)
CII		B-I-N-G-O							Echo Cian (III)
CIII		Pacifist Run							Entenzahn
CIV		THE VERY 'BEST' OF THUNDERDOME					docbeard (II)
CV		Book One							SurreptitiousMuffin (II)
CVI		VH1 presents: Behind the Goon[sic]				Tyrannosaurus (VI)
CVII		STAY OUT OF THE MARSH						Kaishai (X)
CVIII		The Dewey Decimal System					Grizzled Patriarch
CIX		Attack of the Clones						sebmojo (VIII)
CX		cleaning up the streets						Fanky Malloons (IV)
CXI		FOLK ALL Y'ALL							Entenzahn (II)
CXII		Attack of the Graphophobes					SurreptitiousMuffin (III)
CXIII		OK YOU ASKED FOR IT SUCKERS					crabrock (V)
CXIV		Missed Catnections						Kaishai (XI)
CXV		The Eleventh Hour						Sitting Here (X)
CXVI		Today in Technicolor						crabrock (VI)
CXVII		Tired of your poo poo						Kaishai (XII)
CXVIII		If on a Winter's Night a Fire					Chairchucker
CXIX		Oh!  Calamity!							Tyrannosaurus (VII)
CXX		You Can't Jump a Fence Without Knowing Where the Sun Sets	Sitting Here (XI)
CXXI		Pet Words							Jonked
CXXII		Bar-back							Grizzled Patriarch (II)
CXXIII		C'est Nes Pas une Nouvelle					Tyrannosaurus (VIII)
CXXIV		god have mercy							Grizzled Patriarch (III)
CXXV		Thunderdome is Coming to Town					Kaishai (XIII)
CXXVI		Auld Lang Syne							Anomalous Blowout (II)
CXXVII		DOMIN' ALL OVER THE WORLD					Maugrim
CXXVIII		BLACK METAL WEEK						crabrock (VII)
CXXIX		Those We Loved							Nethilia (II)
CXXX		Twice Told Tales of Magic and Sparkles				Echo Cian (IV)
CXXXI		At the Crossroads						Entenzahn (III)
CXXXII		economy of prompt						Fumblemouse (VIII)
CXXXIII		The Gods of Thunderdome						Ironic Twist
CXXXIV		Run Domer Run							crabrock (VIII)
CXXXV		THEY MIGHT BE FULL OF REGRET					Grizzled Patriarch (IV)
CXXXVI		Famous Last Words						newtestleper
CXXXVII		A Picture is Worth rand( ) % 1500 words				Grizzled Patriarch (V)
CXXXVIII	Aaahh!!! Real Monsters						Broenheim
CXXXIX		Well gently caress Me Then						God Over Djinn (V)
CXL		Who do you think you are?					Grizzled Patriarch (VI)
CXLI		"Three May Keep a Secret, If Two of Them Are Dead"		Sitting Here (XII)
CXLII		BUT MOM, A WIZARD DID IT					Dr. Kloctopussy (II)
CXLIII		Smells Like Dome Spirit						Kaishai (XIV)
CXLIV		Doming Lasha Tumbai						crabrock (IX)
CXLV		"You gonna finish that?"					Djeser and Sitting Here (XIII)
CXLVI		The Ones You Hate to Love					Tyrannosaurus (IX)
CXLVII		The Tragedy of Shakespeare Descending				Thranguy
CXLVIII		Gambling Degenerates						docbeard (III)
CXLIX		Thrilling Adventure!						theblunderbuss (II)
CL		Everything Old is New Again					Ironic Twist (II)
CLI		Rewriting the Books						Sitting Here (XIV)
CLII		Rhymes with Red, White, and Blue				Bad Seafood (III)
CLIII		Gather Your Party						curlingiron (II)
CLIV		Naturally Unnatural						docbeard (IV)
CLV		IT'S TOO drat HOT						Tyrannosaurus (X)
CLVI		LET'S GET hosed UP ON LOVE					WeLandedOnTheMoon! (II)
CLVII		BOW BEFORE THE BUZZSAW OF PROGRESS				Obliterati
CLVIII		...LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS						sebmojo (IX)
CLIX		SINNERS ORGY							Tyrannosaurus (XI)
CLX		Spin the wheel!							Thranguy (II)
CLXI		Negative Exponents						sebmojo (X)
CLXII		The best of the worst and the worst of the best			Dr. Kloctopussy (III)
CLXIII		YOUR STUPID poo poo BELONGS IN A MUSEUM				Morning Bell
CLXIV		I Shouldn't Have Eaten That Souvlaki				Kaishai (XV)
CLXV		Back to School							Dr. Kloctopussy (IV)
CLXVI		Comings and Goings						Ironic Twist (III)
CLXVII		Black Sunshine							Morning Bell (II)
CLXVIII		She Stole My Wallet and My Heart				Kaishai (XVI)
CLXIX		Thunderdome o' Bedlam						crabrock (X)
CLXX		Cities & Kaiju							WeLandedOnTheMoon! (III)
CLXXI		The Honorable THUNDERDOME CLXXI					crabrock (XI)
CLXXII		Thunderdome Startup						Kaishai (XVII)
CLXXIII		Pilgrim's Progress						Fumblemouse (IX)
CLXXIV		Ladles and Jellyspoons						Sitting Here (XV)
CLXXV		Speels of Magic							Benny Profane
CLXXVI		Florida Man and/or Woman					Grizzled Patriarch (VII)
CLXXVII		Sparkly Mermen 2: Electric Merman Boogaloo			Entenzahn (IV)
CLXXVIII	I’m not mad, just disappointed					Grizzled Patriarch (VIII)

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Past Weeks of Thunderdome, 2016-2018
pre:
Week		Title								Winner		
CLXXIX		Strange Logs							Ironic Twist (IV)
CLXXX		Maybe I'm a Maze						God Over Djinn (VI)
CLXXXI		We like bloodsports and we don't care who knows!		Ironic Twist (V)
CLXXXII		Domegrassi							Boaz-Jachim
CLXXXIII	Sorry Dad, I Was Late To The Riots				Thranguy (III)
CLXXXIV		The 2015teen Great White Elephant Prompt Exchange		Ironic Twist (VI)
CLXXXV		Music of the Night, Vol. II					crabrock (XII)
CLXXXVI		Giving away prizes for doing f'd-up things			Titus82
CLXXXVII	Lost In Translation						Ironic Twist (VII)
CLXXXVIII	Insomniac Olympics						anime was right
CLXXXIX		knight time							Grizzled Patriarch (IX)
CXC		Three-Course Tale						crabrock (XIII)
CXCI		We Talk Good							sparksbloom
CXCII		Really Entertaining Minific					Sitting Here (XVI)
CXCIII		the worst week							Kaishai (XVIII)
CXCIV		Only Mr. God Knows Why						Daphnaie
CXCV		Inverse World							Ironic Twist (VIII)
CXCVI		Molten Copper vs. Thunderdome					Thranguy (IV)
CXCVII		Stories of Powerful Ambition and Poor Impulse Control		Tyrannosaurus (XII)
CXCVIII		Buddy Stuff							dmboogie
CXCIX		EVERYBODY KNOWS poo poo'S hosed					Grizzled Patriarch (X)
CC		Taters Gonna Tate Fuckers					Noah (III) and Kaishai (XIX)
CCI		Old Russian Joke						Benny Profane (II)
CCII		THUNDER-O-S!							spectres of autism
CCIII		MYSTERY SOLVING TEENS						Tyrannosaurus (XIII)
CCIV		Hate Week							SurreptitiousMuffin (IV)
CCV		the book of forbidden names					Djeser (II)
CCVI		WHIZZ! Bang! POW! Thunderdome!					The Cut of Your Jib
CCVII		Bottle Your Rage						SurreptitiousMuffin (V)
CCVIII		Upper-Class Tweet of the Year					Sitting Here (XVII)
CCIX		WHAT DO YOU GET A DOME THAT HAS EVERYTHING??			Jitzu_the_Monk
CCX		Crit Ketchup Week						Ironic Twist (IX)
CCXI		Next-Best Friend Week						Tyrannosaurus (XIV)
CCXII		Vice News							Thranguy (V)
CCXIII		Punked Out							The Saddest Rhino (III)
CCXIV		THUNDERDOME ALL-STAR TRIBUTE					PALE SPECTRES (II)
CCXV		El sueño de la razón produce el Thunderdome			Oxxidation (IV)
CCXVI		Historical Redemption (or: Sin, Lizzie)				SurreptitiousMuffin (VI)
CCXVII		SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIORS, ATTACK!				The Cut of Your Jib (II)
CCXVIII		Duel Nature							SurreptitiousMuffin (VII)
CCXIX		coz wer goffik							Sitting Here (XVIII)
CCXX		Enter the Voidmart						newtestleper (II)
CCXXI		The Escape of the Bad Words.					flerp (II)
CCXXII		Deliver Us From Bad Prompting					sparksbloom (II)
CCXXIII		Dear Thunderdome						Boaz-Jachim (II)
CCXXIV		I Wanna Dome You Like An Animal					Sailor Viy
CCXXV		Pick A Century							Okua
CCXXVI		Viking Wisdom							Hawklad
CCXXVII		It was a Dark and Stormy Night....				steeltoedsneakers
CCXXVIII	Unqualified							Erogenous Beef (IV)
CCXXIX		The War, on Christmas						sebmojo (XI)
CCXXX		Slaying the Cursed Yearking					QuoProQuid
CCXXXI		No Grown-ups!							Sitting Here (XIX)
CCXXXII		I want to crit your blood					Jitzu_the_Monk (II)
CCXXXIII	IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG						GenJoe
CCXXXIV		Binging on Bad Words						Tyrannosaurus (XV)
CCXXXV		21ST CENTURY MONOLOGUES FOR WOMEN				Thranguy (VI)
CCXXXVI		Three-Card Combo						Uranium Phoenix
CCXXXVII	A Way for the Cosmos To Know Itself				Thranguy (VII)
CCXXXVIII	Lie to Me							BeefSupreme
CCXXXIX		Stop trying to crit me and crit me!				The Cut of Your Jib (III)
CCXL		These Bits Don't Ad Up						Hawklad (II)
CCXLI		From Zero to Hero						Uranium Phoenix (II)
CCXLII		Resonance of Words						Kaishai (XX)
CCXLIII		We Are the Heroes of Our Time					Chili
CCXLIV		Unspecified Word Disorder					Sitting Here (XX)
CCXLV		it's all about me, fuckers					Djeser (III)
CCXLVI		You Need Satan More Than He Needs You				Thranguy (VIII)
CCXLVII		Crimes Against Literature					Uranium Phoenix (III)
CCXLVIII	A Vision of the Future						Thranguy (IX)
CCXLIX		Thunderdomers Assemble!						Solitair
CCL		Everything Means Nothing Anymore				ThirdEmperor
CCLI		We're Grammarpunk Now						Obliterati (II)
CCLII		Your Cardboard Protagonist Was Here				Sitting Here (XXI)
CCLIII		The road to lovely fiction is paved with good intentions	flerp (III)
CCLIV		dog week							sebmojo (XII)
CCLV		RAY-LORDS FROM BEYOND GALAXY 9!					Boaz-Jachim (III)
CCLVI		Myths of the Near Stone Age					Sitting Here (XXII)
CCLVII		No failures week.						Dr. Kloctopussy (V)
CCLVIII		DOUBLE TROUBLE with BAD CAT 1 and BAD CAT 2			Thranguy (X)
CCLIX		One, Two, Three							Bad Seafood (IV)
CCLX		Empty Spaces							Fleta Mcgurn
CCLXI		You Are Cordially Invited to the Dome of a Thousand Doors	Hawklad (III)
CCLXII		Build Your Own Prompt						Tyrannosaurus (XVI)
CCLXIII		dragons are for rich white kids					ThirdEmperor (II)
CCLXIV		Dystopia With A View						Tyrannosaurus (XVII)
CCLXV		KEITH APE							Benny Profane (III)
CCLXVI		J. Walter Weatherman and Friends				Hawklad (IV)
CCLXVII		The Horror....the horror					SurreptitiousMuffin (VIII)
CCLXVIII	NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERDS						Jay W. Friks
CCLXIX		AMBROSE BIERCE SAW HIM FIRST					Deltasquid
CCLXX		La Belle Époque							Obliterati (III)
CCLXXI		Reality Doesn't Care What You Think				sebmojo (XIII)
CCLXXII		Lost in the funhouse						sparksbloom (III)
CCLXXIII	A Wicked Pack of Cards						Ironic Twist (X)
CCLXXIV		I Scream, You Scream						Thranguy (XI)
CCLXXV		Bring on the Lovers, Liars and Clowns				QuoProQuid (II)
CCLXXVI		Little Man History						crabrock (XIV)
CCLXXVII	Rewrite Mashup							Fumblemouse (X)
CCLXXVIII	Get Your (Self-Improving) Freak On				Thranguy (XII)
CCLXXIX		How to Write a Story						Entenzahn (IV)
CCLXXX		Let’s Play Thunderdome: Entenzahn’s Bad Idea			Kaishai (XXI)
CCLXXXI		We Wish You a Merman Christmas!					Antivehicular
CCLXXXII	A Lyttony of Sorrows						Tyrannosaurus (XIII)
CCLXXXIII	IF YOU'RE READING THIS IT'S TOO LATE				Thranguy (XIII)
CCLXXXIV	That’s How the Light Gets In					Djeser (IV)
CCLXXXV		Tempus Fuckit							Bad Seafood (V)
CCLXXXVI	Picturesque Picaresque						DreamingofRoses
CCLXXXVII	Bad Romance							Antivehicular (II)
CCLXXXVIII	Standing Outside a Broken TDome With Flash Rules in My Hand	curlingiron (III)
CCLXXXIX	MARK Z. DANIELEWSKI'S CLUB HOUSE				Antivehicular (III)
CCXC		Fiasco Week 2:  Return to the Chicken Hut			QuoProQuid (III)
CCXCI		You are Such a Loser, Good for You				Thranguy (XIV)
CCXCII		Ancient History							Kaishai (XXII)
CCXCIII		These Sainted Days of Spring					Fumblemouse (XI)
CCXCIV		Rush, Rush, Hurry Cybernetic Entity Enter me.			SurreptitiousMuffin (IX)
CCXCV		DO YOUR WORST!							Chainmail Onesie and Tanz!
CCXCVI		Challenge, Struggle, Tears & Triumph				Deltasquid (II)
CCXCVII		And Now for Something Completely Different			Tyrannosaurus (XIX)
CCXCVIII	Featuring Idris Elba						Chili (II)
CCXCIX		Aqua Teen Thunder Force						sparksbloom (IV)
CCC		Let's Make a Void!						The Saddest Rhino (IV)
CCCI		Communications Breakdown					Antivehicular (IV)
CCCII		Invisible Bartertowns						Fumblemouse (XII)
CCCIII		Things Humanity Was Not Meant To Know				Djeser (V)
CCCIV		Magic of Bronze and Stone					Antivehicular (V)
CCCV		"They sell tacos... and Potato Olés!"				Sitting Here (XXIII)
CCCVI		Strange, Familiar Intelligence (corvids vs cephalopods)		Armack (III)
CCCVII		Unitary Will							Jay W. Friks (II)
CCCVIII		Codex of the Infinite Planes					SurreptitiousMuffin (X)
CCCIX		He & She							cptn_dr
CCCX		Ghosts and Whiskey						Staggy
CCCXI		It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools			Invisible Clergy
CCCXII		Family Motto							Tyrannosaurus (XX)
CCCXIII		(Were-creatures and) Vampires are Alive				Anomalous Blowout (III)
CCCXIV		Bingo Night at Thunderdome					QuoProQuid (IV)
CCCXV		Ships Passing in the Night					Staggy (II)
CCCXVI		Measure Twice, Cut Once						Yoruichi
CCCXVII		Power Trippin'							sebmojo (XIV)
CCCXVIII	two from column A, one from column B				Djeser (VI)
CCCXIX		雷電のコンペティション〜☆						Antivehicular (VI)
CCCXX		Dumpster Diving For Fun and Profit				Pending

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Sep 23, 2018 around 01:36

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Thunderbrawls of 2018
pre:
Thunderbrawl 239 by Antivehicular:  Exmond vs. Jay W. Friks
Round 1			Jay W. Friks

Thunderbrawl 240 by sebmojo:  Antivehicular vs. Guiness13
Round 1			Antivehicular

Thunderbrawl 241 by Sham bam bamina!:  Yoruichi vs. Sitting Here
Round 1			Yoruichi

Thunderbrawl 242 by flerp:  CantDecideOnAName vs. sebmojo
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 243 by crabrock:  flerp vs. derp
Round 1			derp

Thunderbrawl 244 by Chili:  apophenium vs. Aesclepia
Round 1			apophenium

Thunderbrawl 245 by Sitting Here:  sebmojo vs. flerp
Round 1			flerp

Thunderbrawl 246 by sebmojo:  Sitting Here vs. BeefSupreme
Round 1			Sitting Here

Thunderbrawl 247 by Tyrannosaurus:  apophenium vs. Exmond
Round 1			apophenium

Thunderbrawl 248 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  Sitting Here vs. sebmojo
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 249 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  Nethilia vs. newstestleper
Round 1			newtestleper

Thunderbrawl 250 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  SurreptitiousMuffin vs. Uranium Phoenix
Round 1			SurreptitiousMuffin

Thunderbrawl 251 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  Yoruichi vs. Dr. Kloctopussy
Round 1			Dr. Kloctopussy

Thunderbrawl 252 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  curlingiron vs. Fumblemouse
Round 1			curlingiron

Thunderbrawl 253 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  steeltoedsneakers vs. Jay W. Friks
Round 1			steeltoedsneakers

Thunderbrawl 254 by Chili, Kaishai, and Ironic Twist:  Morning Bell vs. CantDecideOnAName
Round 1			Morning Bell

Thunderbrawl 255 by BeefSupreme:  Exmond vs. sebmojo
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 256 by Jay W. Friks:  sebmojo and Exmond vs. Sitting Here
Round 1			sebmojo and Exmond

Thunderbrawl 257 by Jay W. Friks:  ThirdEmperor vs. Jon Joe
Round 1			ThirdEmperor (by default)

Thunderbrawl 258 by sebmojo:  Jay W. Friks vs. Fuschia tude
Round 1			Jay W. Friks

Thunderbrawl 259 by Chili:  ThirdEmperor vs. Jay W. Friks
Round 1			Jay W. Friks

Thunderbrawl 260 by Sitting Here and Yoruichi:  sebmojo vs. SurreptitiousMuffin
Round 1			SurreptitiousMuffin

Thunderbrawl 261 by Antivehicular:  Chili vs. Armack
Round 1			Armack

Thunderbrawl 262 by ThirdEmperor:  Solitair vs. MockingQuantum
Round 1			MockingQuantum

Thunderbrawl 263 by Yoruichi:  curlingiron vs. Invisible Clergy
Round 1			curlingiron

Thunderbrawl 264 by Pham Nuwen:  ThirdEmperor vs. Sitting Here
Round 1			ThirdEmperor

Thunderbrawl 265 by ThirdEmperor:  Yoruichi vs. sebmojo
Round 1			sebmojo

Thunderbrawl 266 by sebmojo:  Djeser vs. Invisible Clergy
Round 1			Djeser

Thunderbrawl 267 by sebmojo:  ThirdEmperor vs. Yoruichi
Round 1			Yoruichi

Thunderbrawl 268 by Invisible Clergy:  Pham Nuwen vs. ThirdEmperor
Round 1			Pending

Thunderbrawl 269 by ThirdEmperor:  Sitting Here vs. Fumblemouse
Round 1			Sitting Here

Kaishai fucked around with this message at Sep 14, 2018 around 03:51

Flesnolk
Apr 11, 2012

If only, THUNDERDOME


prompt

CantDecideOnAName
Jan 1, 2012

And I understand if you ask
Was this life,
was this all?


“It was a dark and stormy night.” Known as one of the cliché opening lines of our time, it's also the first line of the classic novel A Wrinkle in Time. It shows that you can take a bad opening line and still do great things with it.
Did any of you manage to even hint at great things with your humble offerings this week? Let's see. Here are your crits for last week, maggots. Line up.


Aesclepia: Brad Henessey

Initial impressions: Mini time travel via concentration. Someone wants him to knock it off. We never learn who or why. He can't sleep and doesn't know why? I'm not sure I'm fully getting what's going on, so my best guess is that someone implanted a timeskip thing in his head and doesn't want him to use it, and now something's wrong with him and he doesn't know what. He's also very nervous.

After thinking it over: One of the other judges thought the crux of the story was whether or not Brad had cancer. I thought it was that he was doing something he wasn't supposed to be doing. The other judge thought he was mentally ill and imagining everything. In short, your story was not clear on what it was doing. Ambiguity can be fine but I don't think it worked for you here.


Exmond: Vampires Night Out

Initial impressions: Vampires. Well, monsters. Overall you did okay with the first line because it's uttered by a melodramatic character but the story seems a little lacking. We don't know what kinds of monsters things are until the end. As someone who likes monsters to be unique, I felt it was a little lacking, but you didn't exactly have the words to expand on things so I'll let that slide. Daughter out of nowhere was meh.

After thinking it over: It's a very shallow story. The supernatural elements add absolutely nothing, which I thought was a shame.


Jay W. Friks: Letter from a concerned colleague

Initial impressions: First paragraph and everything is already a mess. Interesting story, but I liked the conclusion the most. Not sure how I feel about the story as a whole. It's not bad, but it's not great either.

After thinking it over: A day in the life of an MIB. The ending theory of something bringing fears into reality is the most memorable thing about the story. That core is good, but the execution was lackluster. You needed clarity for more oomph.


Tyrannosaurus: In the Blood

Initial impressions: This resonates with me, that you don't have to believe in religion to do good things and be a good person. That said, the first and last lines seem to be a little forced. I didn't understand what the blood had to do with anything. AIDS, okay, I guess?

After thinking it over: The blood thing doesn't bug me so much, because the core of the story is good enough. It's very believable that someone could lose faith because of someone falling off a pedestal.


apophenium: Gobolinks

Initial impressions: The first line lends itself to a broken mind well. The story is good, the voice(s) interesting. Something about it isn't quite clicking for me, though I'm not sure what.

After thinking it over: I just don't think you can keep blood that fresh red color. The self mutilation as control, okay. The outlet of art, okay. But I just don't know if “treated canvases” would be enough.


Yoruichi: Hope Springs Eternal

Initial impressions: I like it. Dreamy, good description, easily imagined. I relate to Ernest's frustration at being told to do something he doesn't understand. One of my top picks so far.

After thinking it over: I like the use of mundane magic. The Olympics are a good use of form over function, which Ernest has a hard time wrapping his head around. I've got a soft spot for magic and illusions, and you touched it just right. The only thing I don't like is the last line, because that implies he's not just hopeful but outright delusional, and that kinda kills the story.


flerp: Distance
Initial impressions: Crisp, clean. Good visuals. Can't decide if it's dull or quiet.

After thinking it over: Dull. The line “He wanted to feel something else-” is the best thing in it. This is a man who knows he is fearful and boring and wishes idly that he isn't. Unfortunately, the story isn't strong enough to keep that sentiment afloat.


Benny Profane: From Below

Initial impressions: Interesting. Feels kind of disconnected, like it's part of a larger piece.

After thinking about it: You included the flash rule well. It's a bit odd, but didn't completely pull me out of the story. It's well written but the danger rings hollow. Is Asa hoping to get close to her father, hoping he still might love her in some form, or view her as innocent, close enough that she can shank him? I don't believe it.


Thranguy: Beautiful and Terrible As the Dawn

Initial impressions: Off to an interesting start already. It's a confusing piece, but I enjoyed it. The names were very disorienting, and you didn't even have the excuse of being forced to use one by your first line. Which, by the way, made me think that this would be a piece about a newspaper writer or something and then veered off into god-knows-where territory.

After thinking about it: Your worldbuilding is a wreck, and it kills the story. I actually didn't mind the “we” perspective. I'm very forgiving with assuming an author will explain things, but the more I think about this story the less I like it because you take that goodwill and don't deliver.


The Saddest Rhino: “Waste”

Initial impressions: YOU THREW IN A LOSS REFERENCE. This entire piece was a bizarre homage to elisethegreat's placenta chili thread, which was like, okay, and then you threw in a loss reference. Bloody hell. Very meta. Not bad, but barely stands on its own two legs. I enjoyed it.

After thinking about it: I don't hate it, but this is a very TD story. It literally won't work anywhere else. The voice is good, though. You took a weird opening and kept up the oddness.


Sham bam bamina!: Floodplain

Initial impressions: Second paragraph and you've already lost my interest by neglecting to proofread. I suppose you did as well as you could with one of the more convoluted sentences; you tried your best to keep the voice the same. The whole story was very quick, very self aware, and I'm not sure that was in its favor.

After thinking about it: It's not that well written. “...who first heeded aloud the water upon the grasses at our feet...”? Really? It feels like you're going for an archaic pattern of speaking and missing pretty badly. You're aiming for a man who has horrible revelation after horrible revelation about himself, but it all lands flat because it sounds like stuff he's known for years. There's no horror in him being lazy, it's just a shrug and “what can you do?” This man doesn't know how to do anything but gently caress up, and he just keeps loving up and loving up like he can't help it and can't be bothered to really try and do anything else.


sebmojo: In Veritas

Initial impressions: This was a good story with a good voice and one of my top picks. I caught one spelling error but it wasn't enough to kill the mood, which was very dreamy and magical-realism-folklore.

After thinking about it: The other judges brought to my attention the tonal inconsistencies. The child cries, then is suddenly very smart and philosophical, then throws a tantrum. Maybe I just like the dragon, who takes these demands and this hubris and literally reduces it all to ash.


Overall, I think more of you succeeded than failed. Good job, Thunderdome. Give yourself a big pat on the back.

Exmond
May 31, 2007


im doin it ma im writing

THUNDERDOME


Reminder that the archivist hates it when you hide your prompt with spoiler tags.

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017

Time for tea and Thunderdome

Thank you for the crit CantDecideOnAName

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

first prompt of the new year ho boy



Time travel.

“It's too important to use only for money, but too dangerous to use for anything else."

2018 words.

sign ups close friday midnight est
subs close sunday midnight est

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

Judges:
Me
Apophenium
Djeser

Writers:
Sitting Here
Antivehicular
Thranguy
Flerp
Sparksbloom
Jay W. Friks
Dr. Kloctopussy
Derp
Sham Bam Bamina
Yoruichi
Sandnavyguy

Tyrannosaurus fucked around with this message at Jan 7, 2018 around 19:06

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

in

Antivehicular
Dec 30, 2011

I won a rosette in the Thunderdome


Sure, let's do this. In.

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010

'Read over your compositions, and when you meet a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.' -Samuel Johnson

in

flerp
Feb 25, 2014


in

Deltasquid
Apr 10, 2013

awww...
you guys made me ink!


THUNDERDOME


I'm up for judging to ease me into the new year, Tyrannosaurus. If you'll have me.

sparksbloom
Apr 30, 2006


In.

Jay W. Friks
Oct 4, 2016

Six of one, half dozen of another.

Grimey Drawer

In

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


Let's have already done this

derp
Jan 21, 2010

a little less conversation and a little more filthy rodents


Lipstick Apathy

i fcuking hate time travel stories. so i guess i'll be in

Dr. Kloctopussy
Apr 22, 2003


derp posted:

i fcuking hate time travel stories. so i guess i'll be in

That's weird, considering you already wrote at least one.

Edit:

poo poo, does that mean I need to stop saying I've been to all those places I watched documentaries about???

vvvvvv

Dr. Kloctopussy fucked around with this message at Jan 3, 2018 around 19:53

derp
Jan 21, 2010

a little less conversation and a little more filthy rodents


Lipstick Apathy

Dr. Kloctopussy posted:

That's weird, considering you already wrote at least one.

peering into the past is not going there!

apophenium
Apr 13, 2009

I am a real boy.


Volunteering my judging services

Ironic Twist
Aug 3, 2008

THUNDERDOME LOSER



Sitting Here posted:


Massive extra thank you to Kaishai for her continuing hard work on making the archive an amazing and comprehensive tool.



Sitting Here posted:


an amazing and comprehensive tool.



<------------------------------------------------------------

Aesclepia
Dec 5, 2013
Next verse same as the first.

Thank you for the crits, CantDecideOnAName!

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat


Gravy Boat 2k

I am in.

Yoruichi
Sep 21, 2017

Time for tea and Thunderdome

I'm definitely not entering Thunderdome this week I want to take a break before I have to go back to work on Monday ooooh "time travel" I've got an idea for that IN oh god what have I done

Kaishai
Nov 3, 2010

Scoffing at modernity.

Thunderdome Recap!



We haven't yet recovered from the holidays here at Recap HQ, but Sitting Here dug an episode out from under a pile of champagne bottles and tinsel to tide you over. Recall the good old days of Week 276: Little Man History and Week 277: Rewrite Mashup with us, when men were real men and crabrock should have been scared; strange tides and stranger syntax await you, not to mention important AIDS facts! Suffer in ignorance no longer, because our reading of Jay W. Friks' "Witch Hunt 86'" is an education for one and all.

"Punished. We're being punished.." the man calmly resigned.


Episodes past can be found here!

sandnavyguy
Sep 12, 2015


In

I'll kick off a new year by joining the Thunderdome! May my first entry help christen the sands with it's inevitable evisceration.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk


Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006

I failed to submit because I was so excited about New Zealander Tim Price winning the Burghley Horse Trials on the quirky but freakishly talented Ringwood Sky Boy

New year. New you. You said you'd write more in 2018. Do it. Ten hours left to sign up.

sandnavyguy
Sep 12, 2015



Whelp, I knew that I'd get something wrong on my first try, I just didn't know I'd screw up that quickly . Oh well, it's one way to break the ice. Do we need to use the quote in our work as well?

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

sandnavyguy posted:

Whelp, I knew that I'd get something wrong on my first try, I just didn't know I'd screw up that quickly . Oh well, it's one way to break the ice. Do we need to use the quote in our work as well?

It's just inspiration to get you thinking.

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat


Gravy Boat 2k

Welp, there's another. A whelp is a puppy, and there's no H in "well" anyway.

In all sincerity, welcome to Thunderdome!

derp
Jan 21, 2010

a little less conversation and a little more filthy rodents


Lipstick Apathy

righting is hard

derp
Jan 21, 2010

a little less conversation and a little more filthy rodents


Lipstick Apathy

dammit!

Exmond
May 31, 2007


im doin it ma im writing

THUNDERDOME


sandnavyguy posted:

In

I'll kick off a new year by joining the Thunderdome! May my first entry help christen the sands with it's inevitable evisceration.

UraniumPhoenix gave me some good advice after I did my first TD, he also did a line by line crit of my story, which may help you avoid the formatting and spelling errors I did my first time.

Uranium Phoenix posted:

Well, I'm gonna give you two main things to work on.
  • Edit/Proofread. Read your story out loud to yourself. You'll catch a lot of awkward phrasing that way. You also need to learn how to punctuate dialogue, and please don't be afraid to use 'said' or leave dialogue untagged once and awhile.
  • Figure out what your story is about, and revise. Huge chunks of your story are bloat. They say the same thing over and over. The story is repetit--okay you get it. You change genres on your reader at the very end of the story with no foreshadowing whatsoever. The conflict was initially a man who is unhappy with himself trying to find a connection; it turns into a conflict about destroying a troll. The former conflict is not properly resolved because the man doesn't really change, and I don't buy their connection. The latter conflict is solved off-screen. This leads to an extremely unsatisfying resolution.
Basically, right now this is a mess of a story, with unlikable characters, genre-shifts, bloat, bad prose, said-bookisms, a missing climax, and proofreading errors. The stuff I've found was just with a single read-through; I imagine I missed plenty, and there's certainly more I could comment on that needs work. However, the only way you're going to get better is by writing more, so you better get on that. You also might try studying how other people write (actual published stories might be better than TD); try copying what they write to give your brain a feel for it, then writing short snippets of your own in their style. Ultimately, though, this is the kind of story I see from people who basically never practice writing, so practice more by entering in next week.

Good luck and <kayfabe initiate> go gently caress yourself? </kayfabe> I think that's kayfabe

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Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



why not i'd love to hate you all

i'm third judge

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