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Benny Profane
Feb 23, 2012



Thanks for the crits, RandomPauI and Chili!

Also, in.

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Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat


Gravy Boat 2k

magnificent7 posted:

I set out to write something that wasn't deep nor imaginative, but rather amusing and stupid. I'll take my eleventeenth loss and this time I'll wear that motherfucker with pride. If I made y'all laugh, and it wasn't due to a retard joke, then I'm happy.

Thanks for the crits, I'll be over in the corner playing with my feces if anybody needs me.
A Domer after my own heart.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

magnificent7 posted:

I set out to write something that wasn't deep nor imaginative, but rather amusing and stupid. I'll take my eleventeenth loss and this time I'll wear that motherfucker with pride. If I made y'all laugh, and it wasn't due to a retard joke, then I'm happy.

Thanks for the crits, I'll be over in the corner playing with my feces if anybody needs me.

Hmmmmmm well sadly this week I was looking for deep and imaginative. But you do you, the most important thing at the end of the day is that you're happy with your output.

Chin up kid, I'm sure the people who got a chuckle out of your story appreciated that small moment of distraction from the boundless suffering of samsara

magnificent7
Sep 22, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER


Sitting Here posted:

Hmmmmmm well sadly this week I was looking for deep and imaginative. But you do you, the most important thing at the end of the day is that you're happy with your output.

Chin up kid, I'm sure the people who got a chuckle out of your story appreciated that small moment of distraction from the boundless suffering of samsara
I was happy with it, I think. Thanks. I know every TD loser says "Oh yeah? Well I meant to suck horribly, so haha joke's on you." I was not intending to suck horribly; just stay clear of Hemingway Cousteau.

As much as I'd like to be in, it ain't happening. Family reunion time.

Meinberg
Oct 9, 2011

ICE-MEIN


Sitting Here posted:

Chin up kid, I'm sure the people who got a chuckle out of your story appreciated that small moment of distraction from the boundless suffering of samsara

Jokes on you, the know escape from samsara is through the elimination of attachment and through following oneís dharma, suckers.

Djeser
Mar 22, 2013



joke's on you, sithrak, the blind gibberer, tortures both good and evil for all eternity

magnificent7
Sep 22, 2005

THUNDERDOME LOSER


who are you people.

Meinberg
Oct 9, 2011

ICE-MEIN


Djeser posted:

joke's on you, sithrak, the blind gibberer, tortures both good and evil for all eternity

I will need to do further research into this, but it does sound legit.

Sitting Here
Dec 31, 2007


Blood Empress of Thunderdome

Tap to emit spores


Clapping Larry

Hmmm I don't want signups to get lost in the chatter, so maybe this is a good time to post another link to the chat thread

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

College kids ain't shit


Grimey Drawer

In

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

College kids ain't shit


Grimey Drawer

UP Crit for Kiwi/Coffee Brawl

https://docs.google.com/document/d/...dit?usp=sharing

And here's my final thoughts:

Yeah, so this just works. We all read muffinís story first and thought he had it on lock. Then yours came around. If I recall correctly, I was the only judge who picked this for the W and Iím still bitter about it. The tone of the piece is consistent and serves the plot incredibly well. Itís chilling through and through and you managed to grip me and put me right inside Lethiaís psyche. The solid opening helps foreshadow the doom to come and through that all you even managed to reach an optimistic, and believable ending in a story wrought with terror and trauma. This is good work. I want you to take this to people better than me and get it better; it could go places.

Armack
Jan 27, 2006

Corde pulsum tangite


ibntumart posted:

In for a penny, in for a pound or whatever unit I get.

Also, much appreciation for the crits, judges! chili, if the offer for further critique is on the menu still, I'm interested.

You shall have the pack. Whether you want to think of "pack" as units of animals or of manufactured goods like cigarettes is up to you.

Benny Profane posted:

Thanks for the crits, RandomPauI and Chili!

Also, in.

You shall have that Talmudic unit of time, the Shaot Zmaniot


You shall have that unit of time: the fortnight

Carl Killer Miller
Apr 28, 2007

And so I whispered into your ear
What are you thinkin bout?


In for a penny, in for a

wait, someone already made that joke.

In, please.

Armack
Jan 27, 2006

Corde pulsum tangite


Carl Killer Miller posted:

In for a penny, in for a

wait, someone already made that joke.

In, please.

You shall have that biblical unit of length: the cubit

Mercedes
Mar 7, 2006

"So you Jesus?"

"And you black?"

"Nigga prove it!"

And so Black Jesus turned water into a bucket of chicken. And He saw that it was good.


In

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Armack
Jan 27, 2006

Corde pulsum tangite



You shall have that unit of linguistic meaning: the morpheme

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