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In for my first Thunderdome. Flash me please!
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# ¿ Jul 11, 2018 08:13 |
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 08:18 |
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Homebound 1,493 words Flash Rule: Comin' Home by Murder by Death Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Jul 15, 2018 22:40 |
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Week CCCXI: It's a poor craftsman that blames his tools This week's prompt can be as literal or as metaphorical as you like as long as it features two things: a particular trade or craft and the tools by which said trade/craft is accomplished. Starship repair as the backdrop for mending a broken heart? Go for it. An explanation for why Walmart gift cards are the perfect tool for the spy on the run? Why not. "14 common household items that will make disposing of your next victim a doddle"? Yeah go on then. I'm looking for something interesting or unusual that is then tied into the larger story you're trying to tell. The usual rules apply: no quote tags, no erotica, no fanfiction, etc. Flash Rules: ask Judges Sebmojo or Sitting Here for a flash rule at your peril! Word Limit: 1,250 words Signup deadline: Friday, 20 July at 11:59pm Pacific Time (US) Submission deadline: Sunday, 22 July, 11:59pm Pacific Time (US) In both cases deadlines are a little bit flexible, closing when I wake up the following morning (GMT). Gamble at your peril. Judges: Sitting Here Sebmojo Entries: Thranguy - Sebmojo flash rule: the thrill of agony, the victory of defeat Erainor Magnificent7 - Sebmojo flash rule: a character has a Burroughsian argumentative anus SkaAndScreenplays - Chuf MockingQuantum - - Sitting Here flash rule: Yes it will as you reach out for where it's at, only to find when your where it's at, it isn't where it's at, at all Antinvehicular Crabrock - Pham Nuwen Lippincott Flynn - Sitting Here flash rule: "And remembering so well that the hand that brittles the rock can certainly roll the world" Kaishai Staggy fucked around with this message at 09:33 on Jul 21, 2018 |
# ¿ Jul 17, 2018 08:38 |
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Sitting Here posted:I'll help judge, if you like That would be very much appreciated, thank you. If anyone else wants to grab the other judge slot, just shout out.
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# ¿ Jul 17, 2018 10:01 |
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Boss judge here: nah, this is all going good. I appreciate the help - I was not prepared to win!
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# ¿ Jul 17, 2018 20:12 |
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My bad, noted.
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# ¿ Jul 17, 2018 23:15 |
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Entries closed. Get writing folks.
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# ¿ Jul 21, 2018 09:34 |
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Okay folks, submissions are now closed.
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# ¿ Jul 23, 2018 08:42 |
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Week 311 Results - From Apprentice to Master This week saw an interesting batch of stories that went places with the week’s theme that I wasn’t expecting, so thanks for that! Unfortunately if there was an unofficial secondary theme this week it was “not quite sticking the landing”. A whole lot of interesting stories that just fell a bit flat towards the end. First up: disqualifications. SkaAndScreenplay, MockingQuantum, Chuf and magnificent7 are a sorry lot who shame their craft. SkaAndScreenplay and MockingQuantum in particular – there are better ways to contribute to Lowtax’s boneitis fund than this. Crabrock: it’s a dangerous game you’re playing submitting that late but this week, at least, it’s paid off. This was a fun, quick read that had just enough charm to spare you the judges’ wrath. You just saved yourself . Next up: this week’s loser is Erainor. Rien lawyered sexily onto the page before suddenly she was teleported to a cold and dank prison cell. Unfortunately in-between was a mound of rushed exposition hiding some good ideas. Better luck next time. The dishonourable mention goes to Lippincott. Parenting as a trade or skill is exactly the sort of non-obvious take on the theme I was hoping for. Sadly a lack of polish and some truly unbelievable dialogue did not help your execution. Pham Nuwen, Kaishai and Thranguy – you all had enjoyable enough stories but nothing that sizzled. This week’s honourable mention goes to Antivehicular. Some clever, brief worldbuilding led to a fictional trade and tools that felt real. I would like to see more. That means this week’s winner is Invisible Clergy! That goddamn pun in the title was outshone by a strong narrative arc, interesting take on the trade/tools theme and some nice, clear writing. The ending was a bit wobbly but that was pretty much par for the course this week. Good job! Another first-time winner, this time matched with a first-time loser. Grab your theme and your co-judges and have at it! A big thanks to assistant judges sebmojo and Sitting Here. I’ll post some crits when I get a chance later.
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# ¿ Jul 24, 2018 10:21 |
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With absolutely no idea of what the theme will be I'm in - hit me with a flash rule too!
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# ¿ Jul 24, 2018 14:28 |
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Week 311 Crits Erainor - Uradriendra This felt like exposition rather than a story. It was like something an NPC in Skyrim would tell me before giving me a quest. And it's all just a little bit too cliché. Sexy blonde lawyer, demon lawyer... and I mean that's before getting to things like "666 souls" or "Gabe". I got a sense of enthusiasm from the story but it was like you were really excited to tell me about an awesome new bit of lore you came up with for your next DnD campaign but never stopped to consider why I should care. "This happened then this happened then this happened. The end. No moral!" Tell me about how Rien convinced clients to sign the contract. Tell me about the tricks she uses to ensure a "not guilty" outcome. Tell me why a demon loves Starbucks. Tell me why the "most deranged serial killer of the modern era" presumably just strangles people (and only 13 at that). Still, you got words down on a page. Pham Nuwen - Regular cleanings are essential to good oral health The dialogue felt natural and I really liked how you switched between the two scenes. The dentist's office scene acted as a nice balance to the rising tension of the flashback. The imagery, as others have noted, works well. I guess I was just expecting a bit ... more. My notes while reading this go from "this is building up to something cool" to "oh that's the end" in the space of a paragraph. I mean, from the gum cleaning imagery I get that the cycle with the brother is just something routine and dragging that has to be suffered through but at the end of the day there's no confrontation, just the brother being kicked out while at work. It felt like a missed opportunity. The characterisation was solid though. I really got a sense of history between the two without anything having to be explicitly spelled out. Antivehicular - Respect for the Dead The opening dialogue attribution is a little unclear. After that, though, you do a very efficient job of setting the scene - you pack a lot of worldbuilding into a very few details. My notes picked up on the boarded-up window early on and said it was out of place in contrast to the rest of the scene - then it all clicked later on. I mentioned it in the judgepost but you did a very good job of taking a fictional trade and made up tools and making them feel very real. It helps to make a story that boils down to "man gives lecture on tools" feel grounded and, well, important. The dialogue is a bit clunky throughout and the ending felt slightly rushed but the little things like the "Dignity Society" implied just enough of a world for my imagination to fill in the blanks. Lippincott - 3 Hours The very first thing on the page is dialogue that isn't very well attributed. It's a little thing that stands out more because it's literally the first thing you see. After that the dialogue really holds things back. The children don't sound like children, they sound like cartoon cavemen. I think it would help in future if you read your dialogue out loud to yourself because some of it just ... grates. I actually liked some of the non-dialogue lines more - "Chad asks if Mickey Mouse will be there." is a great comic beat that didn't need a response. As I mentioned before, I liked that you went with something other than the obvious for the theme. It just felt a bit unclear what the tools of parenting here were - treats? The quiet game? The ending was a real swerve as well. All of the tension you had built up was dissipated when the protagonist just ... buys a nicer car. When you're turning off the highway I thought "oh hey we're off to McDonalds/etc." continuing the theme of food as a parenting tool. That could have been a nice ending - the kids finally shut up giving the mum a moment of quiet to reflect and develop as a character, giving us the ending scene. You had a good idea but it could have just used another editing pass or two. Thranguy - Tradecraft You had a strong opening scene and some tight action afterwards. In addition, I may be biased but this was a great take on the week's theme. One of the notes I made was "Aww yeah McGuyver this poo poo the gently caress up for me" with the introduction of the tacti-cool paperclip. The "shirts and skins" thing could have been a little bit tighter but I have no real complaints. The ending was a bit unclear, though. I got it but it took a couple of readings to work out what was going on. I keep going back and forth on whether this would have worked better with a normal paperclip but that's just me being me. I liked the larger picture with the protagonist essentially being a tool himself. A solid effort. Invisible Clergy - Live and Let Dye That loving pun. I found the ultra-short paragraphs at the start a little bit grating but it's not unbearable. The little scraps of information built up a larger picture of the protagonist and her situation without having to explicitly spell it out. I liked the blending of traditional and modern that runs throughout the whole thing. Just the idea of someone going "yeah I'll put a hex on them just let me get my PPE". You won this week because there wasn't a whole lot to criticise but like a lot of the other stories the ending was a little weak. Because we don't know anything about how prevalent or public magic is we don't know what the significance of the police arriving is. If magic is public knowledge then yeah, the protagonist is in deep poo poo. If not then she's pretty drat safe and her reaction to the police is very different - unless you want to make the ending more about her realisation of what she's done, rather than fear of being arrested. Kaishai – Gifts of the Gods I like the concept for the story but the setting just feels a little loose. A little bit more background, a little bit more context and the whole thing would have felt much more grounded. This is probably the most traditional take on the craftsman theme and the characterisation of the protagonist fits that nicely. Little bits of the dialogue - like "Without regret!" - really help build up the characters. A little more time spent in the middle of the story would have helped. As it is, Gregoire felt just a little too quick to leave (as did the birds at the end).
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# ¿ Jul 24, 2018 22:08 |
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Family comes first 1,482 Flash rule: must contain the word "ramshackle". Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:25 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Jul 29, 2018 23:57 |
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In for team were-beast please.
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# ¿ Jul 31, 2018 07:47 |
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The Chase 1,184 words Were-Creature: Antelope Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:26 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Aug 6, 2018 00:06 |
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In.
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# ¿ Aug 7, 2018 22:38 |
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Uranium Phoenix posted:The Chase Thanks for the crit. Ghost family was supposed to be fatigue-induced hallucinations with a whole thing about him doubting what he's seeing and long story short I bit off way more than I could chew in multiple ways. I'll go back to basics for the next one.
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# ¿ Aug 9, 2018 21:49 |
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Poison and Honey 1,280 words Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:27 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 01:06 |
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In. And why not - hit me with a flash rule too.
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# ¿ Aug 13, 2018 16:03 |
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Resonance Flash rule: Your story must take place in a prison or jail. 1,186 words Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:28 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Aug 19, 2018 23:47 |
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Week CCCXVI: Measure Twice, Cut Once This week's prompt centers around the proverb measure twice, cut once. That means three things:
How do your characters prepare? What does this say about them? What do they learn from the outcome? These are all questions that I will probably come back and edit once I'm not rushing out the door to work. Want to flip it around and show the consequences of "measure once, cut twice" or "cut once, measure twice"? Go for it. The usual rules apply: no quote tags, erotica, fanfic, Google Docs, etc. As always, volunteer judges are welcome. Word Count: 1,200 words If you want you can request a flash rule, given by whichever judge gets round to it first. Sign-Up Deadline: 23:59 EST, 24 August 2018 Submission Deadline: 23:59 EST, 26 August 2018 Judges - Staggy - Fumblemouse - Bad Seafood Entrants - Ashwat (Flash Rule: Your story must take place during a torrential thunderstorm.) - Invisible Clergy - SkaAndScreenplays - Thranguy (Flash Rule: Two of your characters must absolutely despise one another.) - Bacon Terrorist (Flash Rule: Whatever your character is trying to do means everything to them but nothing to anyone else.) - Spectres of Autism - Lippincott (Flash Rule: Your story must feature a race against the clock.) - AllNewJonasSalk (Flash Rule: Your story must have multiple characters, none of whom know each other.) - Yoruichi (Flash Rule: Your story must take place at dawn.) - Sebmojo (Flash Rule: Your story must take place during a roadtrip.) - Flesnolk (Flash Rule: Your main protagonist is motivated mainly by fear.) - Kaishai Staggy fucked around with this message at 09:49 on Aug 25, 2018 |
# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 08:08 |
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I will be doing flash rules, I was just in a rush to get the prompt up this morning. I'll flesh things out this evening.
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# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 15:22 |
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Ashwat posted:Woohoo, thanks for the crits! That gives me a lot to chew on about my writing. I read this as an implied request for a flash rule but let me know if that's not the case. Otherwise, your flash rule is Your story must take place during a torrential thunderstorm. Thranguy posted:In and flash Two of your characters must absolutely despise one another. Bacon Terrorist posted:In and I definitely need a flash. Whatever your character is trying to do means everything to them but nothing to anyone else.
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# ¿ Aug 21, 2018 18:58 |
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Lippincott posted:In with a request for a flash rule, please. Your story must feature a race against the clock. AllNewJonasSalk posted:Hello! I've been here before. Last time I signed up I failed to submit. It was shameful and I stayed up late at night for two days thinking about my failure but life is hard and sometimes poo poo happens and then ends with you in a jail cell, eating breakfast at four in the morning while your heroin addled celly shits his brains out. Your story must have multiple characters, none of whom know each other. Yoruichi posted:In, flash please Your story must take place at dawn. sebmojo posted:ys, in, flash me up plx Your story must take place during a roadtrip.
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# ¿ Aug 22, 2018 18:27 |
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Flesnolk posted:Let’s try this again since I’m not on painkillers Your main protagonist is motivated mainly by fear.
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# ¿ Aug 23, 2018 22:57 |
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Fumblemouse posted:Hey Staggy - If you still need another judge, I'm your rodent. Bad Seafood posted:I would also like to offer my services as a judge. Thanks! Glad to have you both on board. To everyone else - you have a little under 7 hours left to sign up. Sign-ups after the deadline may be accepted, on condition of a mandatory and probably very unwieldy flash rule.
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# ¿ Aug 24, 2018 22:06 |
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Submissions are now closed - get writing!
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# ¿ Aug 25, 2018 09:49 |
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Submissions are now closed.
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# ¿ Aug 27, 2018 11:27 |
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Week 316 - Results Okay, this was a bit of a mixed bag this week. The judges couldn't really agree on much - to the point that one judge's winner was another's loser and vice-versa. Both Fumblemouse and Bad Seafood were of great help but at the end of the day I had to bring together a final decision. First up: the people who failed to submit. Come on. The loser this week is AllNewJonasSalk with Boom Room. Although short and refreshingly strange I'm really not seeing the prompt connection. The dishonorable mention goes to spectres of autism with Myocardia. This was a trip and a half and I can definitely see the appeal of the sheer strength of the weirdness but it's all just a bit too much. This was one of the more polarising entries, to say the least. I'm giving the honorable mention to Thranguy with Seeds. Some great descriptions and really cool ideas that just needed a little more to tie them together. The win this week goes to Yoruichi with Heights. You crammed some strong background detail and worldbuilding in very efficiently and dealt with both the prompt and your flash rule really well. Congratulations! Take the jump elevator up to your seat on the blood throne! I'll have crits up in the next day or two.
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# ¿ Aug 27, 2018 23:09 |
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In, flash rule please.
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# ¿ Aug 28, 2018 10:41 |
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Crits for last week Ashwat - Rushed Rites
Yoruichi - Heights
AllNewJonasSalk - BoomRoom
Spectres of autism - Myocardia
Lippincott - Map-Reading
Thranguy - Seeds
Kaishai - Planning and Action
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# ¿ Aug 30, 2018 22:56 |
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Fast Talk Flash Rule: The only one who doesn't actually care. 1,207 words Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:33 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 3, 2018 00:18 |
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In.
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# ¿ Sep 4, 2018 10:45 |
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Running Up That Hill 1,061 words Miserable, determined Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:34 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 9, 2018 23:02 |
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I'm in.
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# ¿ Sep 14, 2018 14:30 |
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Pretty Corp 839 words Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:37 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 16, 2018 23:52 |
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In.
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# ¿ Sep 26, 2018 07:32 |
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Slow Sigh Object: deflated basketball 630 words Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:38 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 30, 2018 21:08 |
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Thranguy posted:Interprompt Tedium Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:39 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Oct 1, 2018 10:06 |
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In.
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# ¿ Oct 2, 2018 19:59 |
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 08:18 |
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Safe Harbour 668 Words An old wooden dock Read it at the archive. Staggy fucked around with this message at 22:40 on Jan 3, 2019 |
# ¿ Oct 8, 2018 00:12 |