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i fcuking hate time travel stories. so i guess i'll be in
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# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 20:47 |
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 05:18 |
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Dr. Kloctopussy posted:That's weird, considering you already wrote at least one. peering into the past is not going there!
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# ¿ Jan 3, 2018 20:50 |
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righting is hard
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2018 01:05 |
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dammit!
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# ¿ Jan 6, 2018 01:06 |
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Slice of life 2010 words removed derp fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Feb 13, 2018 |
# ¿ Jan 7, 2018 00:35 |
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yes tyvm apop
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# ¿ Jan 8, 2018 23:41 |
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tyvm for your thoughts tyran!
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# ¿ Jan 9, 2018 20:47 |
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SOMEBODY FIGHT ME IM READY(butidontlikethisweeksprompt)
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 07:38 |
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Ur on looser
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 17:07 |
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My animals are going to have such smarts. The best smarts. I know a lot of sapient animals and I can tell you mine are the smartest
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# ¿ Jan 13, 2018 23:05 |
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crabrock posted:lol. imma judge this because flerp derp Residue 1375 words removed derp fucked around with this message at 20:52 on Feb 13, 2018 |
# ¿ Jan 26, 2018 01:55 |
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woo, my first TD win
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# ¿ Jan 29, 2018 18:22 |
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sebmojo told me not to ever eat anything larger than my head, but i have a very small head and that excludes most foods and i am a large man who needs much food so i starved to death and now i am a ghost. gently caress you sebmojo.
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# ¿ Jan 31, 2018 01:22 |
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hello. i'm having trouble writing lately so i guess i'll do one of these with a flash also k thanks.
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# ¿ Apr 10, 2018 16:45 |
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Kaishai posted:Thunderdome Recap! *bumps into signpost, falls down, spends rest of life there*
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# ¿ Apr 13, 2018 16:35 |
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A night at the theater: removed derp fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Jan 1, 2019 |
# ¿ Apr 15, 2018 18:33 |
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Okay I will write a story featuring a guy who is tough and or cool. Gimme a quote thing
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# ¿ Apr 17, 2018 02:57 |
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Tyrannosaurus posted:"Do the animals still talk in your world?" You trying to force me to write about pirates? Self imposed rule: Idris has never been on a boat
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# ¿ Apr 17, 2018 03:42 |
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“For the first ten days they sailed on beautifully and found plenty to eat as there were lots of fish..." A Mother and a Father Starring Janet McTeer as Zednia And introducing Idris Elba as The Stranger removed derp fucked around with this message at 18:52 on Jan 1, 2019 |
# ¿ Apr 22, 2018 14:59 |
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Thank you for the crits up and all, lots of effort going into those for dumb forum words. We don't deserve it(I love it ty!)
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# ¿ Apr 23, 2018 00:57 |
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hi hello i will do it. thank you and good day.
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# ¿ Sep 5, 2018 18:52 |
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Sitting Here posted:
best friends 1200 words removed derp fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Jan 1, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 9, 2018 22:29 |
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is there any rules about posting crits before judging has happened
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# ¿ Sep 10, 2018 21:10 |
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Ty!
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# ¿ Sep 10, 2018 21:45 |
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Prump? Prom? Print? Pramp? Pront? Also ty for those krits
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# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 06:02 |
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i dont think i took enough time with these to call them crits, but here are the thoughts i had while reading the stories. Funhouse, m. propagandalf Typoes. I’m having a hard time visualizing this off-putting man. Unsure how she can tell he’s wearing blackface if he’s wearing a mask. As I’m reading, many of these descriptions are hard for me to imagine. “The man pranced off as Yolanda followed suit.” she pranced as well? This strikes me as humorous, in a sort of ‘walk this way’ kind of way. This whole thing could use some close reading and a couple more rounds of editing. I liked the unexpected way the man reacted like he was all hurt and sad that she didn’t want to stay, that made me smile. Overall though this story wasn’t very satisfying because Yolanda didn’t do anything, it was all the man’s actions (telling her where the plushy was, then giving her the special coin) that allowed her to leave. Macadelic, allnewjonassalk Oh boy, a poo poo story. The first sentence is where I would normally stop reading but I’ll go on for a crit. Well this certainly is miserable. Strikes me as kind of a gross out story, but it at least has a cynical edge, which I like. Not sure what to think of the message here. It seems to be a critical look at the way cities deal with their homeless, but then all the homeless are described as shitbags so...? Pretty well written, I chuckled a couple times, and the ending was unexpected. Not much of a story though, in a ‘character trying and failing/succeeding to do something’ kind of way. Running up that hill, staggy I liked this one. The beginning has a good hook and it held me all the way through. I really enjoyed that it didn’t end in a sappy or dumb way, or a twisty way (almost thought he was gunna die on the hill WHATATWIST) but in a realistic ‘work is hard, and it sucks, deal with it’ kind of way. Nice work on the descriptions, too, really had me feeling the guys pain and frustration. I’ll probably think of this one again at some point, which is more than I can say for most of the stories I read here. Twisted goose I wanted to stop reading this cause who wants to read about these kinds of assholes, but I noticed that one of the words for your prompt was ‘disdain’ so, okay, I guess I’ll feel disdain. Pretty well written, pulled me along, made me want to know what was going to happen. I thought the story should have ended here “This is the Twisted Goose, he said impatiently, and it’s how I’m finally going to grab Mindy Burbank’s tit.” It was funny, and unexpected, made me laugh. After that though you kind of figure of course it’s going to go wrong and are just waiting to find out exactly how. Not a bad read, though the content kind of brought it down, imo. Little departures, sparksbloom I guess it was written competently enough, but I just didn’t care about anything that happened. Didn’t seem like the character did, either. Zodiac race, billy profane You got a hell of a flash rule and did what you could with it. The reality show context is kind of amusing, but there’s really not much to pull this story along. There’s no question i want answered, no tension, no ‘what’s going to happen?’ not bad for trying to fit 12 characters in 1200 words though. Eyes Good descriptions of his weird experiences i guess but I just don’t care. Nothing changes, nothing is learned, nothing is tried, nothing is failed. A guy has some thoughts and then stabs himself. Apophenium, bad math I liked this one. Interesting, unpredictable and nothing is explained, which is as it should be. Would have liked a bit more of a sense of Jeremy’s feelings of being trapped and resisting, so that the finale is more satisfying. But pretty good for the number of words you had. Also i liked that she died in the end. Would have ruined the story imo if somehow his shooting bart made her wake up. Yay. after reading everything I might pick this for a winner. Lippencot, sunday dinner Nice. I like this one too. I was really rooting for Abe. Made me feel the tension and feel that connection and internal cheering every time Abe held his ground. Took a little while to get going, otherwise great. Antivehicular, blameless prisoner Was interested to read this one after seeing the flash rule. I was definitely curious while reading it, it’s an interesting premise and I wanted to find out more. Pretty good for a story where nothing can change, which means nothing really happens. The unanswered questions were good, just enough intrigue to leave me thinking about what kind of prison this is, what it means to be there, etc. pretty good. After reading everything, could be argued for a winner or hm Tibalt, deescalation Cut the second paragraph and this is pretty good. Can feel the guy’s desperation and helplessness. Could use some editing and rewriting in parts to make it more snappy and sharp as the story itself is. But not bad. Thranguy, for the love of god This was a good read. Well written, good pacing, interesting characters and interesting plot. All around good. Not sure it fits the prompt to well and i don’t get the title. But I enjoyed it quite a bit. Could be a winner. Invisible clergy, starlight Bored. Don’t know what the point of this was. What was i supposed to feel or think... the best way to get a reader to care about or like a character (if that’s what you were trying to do) is to show them either being really good at something, or really bad at something but trying super hard at it anyway. He didn't seem like he had to try very hard, maybe that’s why I didn’t care. I dunno. Lead out in cuffs, suburban skategirls This was pretty cute, and nice job on using the literal image lol. The skunks were kind of random though and a distraction cause I was trying to figure out what they meant or how they related to the prompt.
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# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 06:09 |
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okay i will do it
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# ¿ Sep 11, 2018 16:47 |
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Ty for your thoughts!
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# ¿ Sep 14, 2018 07:55 |
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Aeternum Vale 1261 words removed derp fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Jan 1, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 17, 2018 04:18 |
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ty for the crits Solitair and cant!
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# ¿ Sep 18, 2018 22:52 |
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extremely happy i deleted all my posts from the old threads. holy crap this could be an embarrassing week for some people
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# ¿ Sep 19, 2018 00:06 |
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Did you know that the first train only had one wheel, and was built over one million weeks ago? Most people don't know, but the train was actually named after John Coltrane, and so was coal. This is why coal is often pulled around in trains. These cool conversation starters, as well as seventeen other interesting facts, are all available in Cool Train Facts by me, Turk Durkington. It can all be yours for the low cost of 1.99 trains. Buy my product.
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# ¿ Sep 24, 2018 21:27 |
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Ah, my train has arrived, PROMPT as ever, and the conductor is asking who is going to get IN. I climb on board and we're off in a FLASH.
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# ¿ Sep 25, 2018 18:49 |
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Okay I will do it
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# ¿ Sep 26, 2018 02:03 |
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Sitting Here posted:you are a camera Camera[b], 630 words removed derp fucked around with this message at 18:53 on Jan 1, 2019 |
# ¿ Sep 29, 2018 16:30 |
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im in a zone and don't want to wait till monday or tuesday to start the next thing. somebody FIGHT ME
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# ¿ Sep 29, 2018 22:58 |
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Sitting Here posted:you're all brawling each other. aww yah
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# ¿ Sep 30, 2018 16:08 |
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haha ok
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# ¿ Oct 2, 2018 21:18 |
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ty everyone for the fantastic crits on these v short stories. more effort than is deserved im sure
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# ¿ Oct 5, 2018 04:28 |
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# ¿ Mar 19, 2024 05:18 |
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Yoruichi posted:"you're" Fart. Tit.
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# ¿ Oct 6, 2018 22:02 |