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Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Ploft-shell crab posted:

fwiw this was my first job and it ended up being alright

this was my first job and the company went under three months after i left

unrelated, they were scamming on govt contracts while madly backfilling turnover with fresh grads and h-1bs

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Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



agreed slack is a real company but pre-ipo equity is a lottery ticket. if the job looks good id say go for it, worst case is they crash and burn in 2-4 years and you have a hella sweet looking resume entry

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



those are good questions but i would add another row. "proud of"

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Gazpacho posted:

post interview report: i tend to think it's a bad sign when more than one work area has a small table topped with liquor bottles. also when an interviewer says "our hundreds of developers just decide for themselves what to build, except when the founder-CEO personally requests something"

bad sign of what, getting paid to drink while loving around with a compiler? sounds like a pretty god deal to me. as long as the office is close to a bus stop or something

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Progressive JPEG posted:

oh boy who wouldn't want to regularly drink with their coworkers??

which one of every single one of my coworkers are you

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Notorious b.s.d. posted:

the last time I had "unlimited vacation," it meant that my boss was gone four months a year, and i got one week at christmas

this i can understand. a way around the federal requirement that all exempt employees receive the same benefits

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Pie Colony posted:

drat that's a good vacation policy


also, i'm taking interviews at 2nd choice companies right now to prepare for my 1st choice companies, but the interviews for the latter will most likely happen much later. what's the downside of accepting an offer knowing that if another offer was made in ~1 month i'd jump ship?

it means youre a dick

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



big tech loving top school graduates has griped my rear end for like 10 years now. "when the prof crowed about the graduating class's improvement on the exit assessment, i did the math, saw that the improvement was me, and understood why i had not felt challenged by the program" is not something i can put on my resume

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Captain Pike posted:

Apple wants to interview me. Iím intimidated by things Iíve read about the tech screening, and I have no idea if I want to live in Cupertino,

Would anyone who is/has worked there be willing to PM me?

could you really live with yourself benefitting from the ongoing atrocity known as touch bar

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



I donít really want to be nbsd but Iíd be willing to mug him in a dark alley and bank his self-assurance

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



dumb

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



wish i was a lizard sleeping on a hot rock. then go eat bugs and chill in a hole. no worries just lizarding 24/7/365

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



TimWinter posted:

"The team liked you but we're not mature enough as a company..."

mommy said no

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



make it awkward, I can do that. figgies here I come

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



i vaguely recall something about companies being required to price option grants according to some model (black-scholes, maybe?) which made the accounting look bad so nobody does it anymore

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Symbolic Butt posted:

also I'm not sure how someone can work with programming for a while and not grow completely insensitive to the "*gasp* you don't know about X???" reactions from fellow programmers

sounds to me like you work with a bunch of shitheads tbh. super disrespectful to do poo poo that like with a colleague. like even if its something super basic like "whats an interface" and the guy was hired as a java dev, it's still not cool. its on the company for fuckin up so bad in hiring that they made an offer to such a completely unfit candidate. and if they somehow managed to bullshit so good that everyone believed their poo poo and it's a total surprise that Java Master Jedi Joe doesn't know what an interface is...move him to sales

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



company i work for has offices somewhere in limeyland and also multiple places in US. not finance though

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



yeah the bad reviews on glassdoor are 100x more believable than the good ones. not all good reviews are fake but set the shill detector to maximum sensitivity before reading them

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



any interviewer that asks me to tdd a roman numeral is gonna get an eyeroll and a thanks for your time

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Notorious b.s.d. posted:

for those yosposters not aware: the quotas on green cards are separate from the quotas on immigration, and separate from the quotas on visas

after you have an h-1b, and after your employer works with you to apply for a green card, and after your application is certified and you are approved for a green card, then you enter a line to get a slot in a nation-of-origin based quota

it makes zero sense

all green card grants should be automatic after certification. these people are the most capable and determined immigrants imaginable, highly skilled motherfuckers who already live here, who already are considered highly capable by their employers, who actively wish to build permanent lives and communities in the united states. how loving dumb is it to apply a quota system to people who have already been affirmatively proved to be the best possible citizens?

let everybody who wants to get in on a work visa and green card after 5 years imo

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



rewrote my resume recently and went from ~10% response rate to ~60%. all that changed was the wording and how heavily i highlighted the cool stuff. it matters, a lot

i had to read your resume three times to start to understand it. i would not try so hard if i was working

if you hold TS/SCI then i dont see any reason not to put that on every resume you send cause it sounds impressive. aiui airgap is standard in that kind of work so doesn't need to be called out--employers who care will expect you to know whats up

write about cool stuff imo. doesn't matter if it was two weeks five years ago. you're badass, make sure the resume shows that you're badass

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



sorry i just have family in the MIC and considered applying myself when in college

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



what gets me attention from big name tech companies is lots of java and aws experience and having a white male name

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Kevin Mitnick P.E. posted:

what gets me attention from big name tech companies is lots of java and aws experience and having a white male name

guess now that dod is going with aws im gonna start getting recruiters on linkedin looking for someone to autoscale the drone backend based on # of browns detected in the AO

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Mao Zedong Thot posted:

We're hiring right now and the applicants have been so goddamn bad so far. Two completely unqualified people like one not even in tech, and then one dude who's entire resume attachment was a PDF saying he's definitely qualified and btw is this job work from home? Jesus

Anyway if you want to work on kubernetes and golang remotely for fat stacks pm me. I'm 0/3 on referrals so far so lmao.

is your company palantir

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



on second thought i don't think i want to work with anyone who has read my posting and is still willing to consider hiring me

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009




k just asking cause I had a call with them recently and that was their pitch

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Rex-Goliath posted:

iirc our universal index is light years ahead of postgres and our system is built from the ground up to be horizontally scalable so you can expand out to indexing and searching petabytes of data in milliseconds with very little effort. i donít want to derail two threads at the same time though so i guess iíll finally make the nosql thread in CoC. iím surprised no ones done this yet so i guess it may as well be me

universal index sounds like a marketing term for something kinda interesting

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Arcsech posted:

itís pretty trivial to find the product with that phrase. it appears to be marketing speak for a full text search index

ah its marklogic. only thing i ever heard about marklogic is "we're trying to get off it"

and they strapped elasticsearch to it. ok thats kinda interesting

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Notorious b.s.d. posted:

solr is a surprisingly capable and interesting database

oh marklogic uses solr? i figured it would be one or the other

also youre stealing my line from literally seven years ago. yeah its real cool if you need some combination of kv-store, NRT search, high read and write perf with durability, and can live with atomic ops instead of transactions

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



ThePeavstenator posted:

I more want to talk about CosmosDB, and how MS seem to be putting out unfinished Azure features as generally available and production ready

e: hey look there's a YOSPOS microsoft thread

AWS has shown the way forward for cloud services: decide what you need in an mvp, cut half the features, launch it, make a big deal every three months for the next two years when you add something that should've been there at GA

edit: i'm pretty sure they start billing on a product as soon as legal says they probably wont get sued for charging money

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



ah ok so are your txns poo poo perf or not actually acid

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



gotcha

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Notorious b.s.d. posted:

the catch is that much of this is already true if you work a high-paying white collar job in the u.s.

the united states is a very, very good place to be a rich software dweeb. the pay is unrivaled. every QoL marker is very high. it's just a good life, which is why people come here.

it is a very, very bad place to be poor. you don't want to be a working stiff in the united states. there are no meaningful legal protections for you, and the social safety net is threadbare.

all of this is true :/

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



unless your LTD plan decides not to pay out for whatever reason. SSDI is its own special ball of poo poo, being persistence-tested welfare for people who really really donít want to work in addition to sometimes accidentally providing benefits to the disabled

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Tetramin posted:

ah, guy who has had exactly one job is militant about only hiring people exactly like him

e: obviously Iím saying this poo poo in the middle of a great job market for tech people, and gaps will be more serious when the market changes. still itís pretty hilarious that anyone with any gap is Just Not An Option for you even now.

whats the typical downside for binning a resume? nothing? yeah you might get yelled by downstream but you can cover that with "sorry its all poo poo didn't want to waste your time". the downside of passing people on is getting yelled at for wasting peoples time on interviewing dipshits

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



im not saying its a good thing that incentives are lined up for the first guy to look at a resume to lean very strongly towards throwing it out, but they are

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



feedmegin posted:

The downside is that someone who is good at their job (which is rare) works for your competitor, not you. Sorry if this isn't enough incentive for you.

yeah why should i gaf what happens to my employer. does my employer gaf what happens to me

Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



feedmegin posted:

Yeah let me tell you about the time a decade ago I was unemployed from my junior level job going under thanks to corporate bankruptcy and my diabetic wife was living off free samples of insulin from her doctor because we had no insurance.

The entire software industry is not your fancy rear end job in NYC fintech and you should probably acknowledge that.

unemployed computer touchers in the usa are just as hosed as any other unemployed ur not making nbsd wrong here

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Nomnom Cookie
Aug 30, 2009



Notorious b.s.d. posted:

higher unemployment benefits, an almost permanently tighter job market (with one notable dry spell), and deeper pockets certainly make a difference

do you seriously believe that losing your $80k/year software job is at all the same as losing a $10/hour factory job in rural kentucky

naw now you're talking specifics and asserting they apply generally. how hosed you are if you get fired is extremely situational

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