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Vinny Possum
Sep 21, 2015

THUNDERDOME LOSER




A rooster crows, and the sun breaks across the gilded rooftops of Sacramento's Golden City, home to over ten generations of the Imperial descendants of Elton the Lawgiver. The city itself is a grandiose reminder of the California of yesteryear, before the era of division and civil war, before the Emperors were locked in their city like birds in a golden cage, sending out unheeded proclamations and missives to the warlords who really rule the land.

You roll over, and begin to settle back into sleep. Just as you begin to drift back into dreamland, a pounding at the door jerks you awake, and you groggily open your eyes to the room and its contents...

A. Several empty bottles of wine, a largely unused, but well crafted and beautifully decorated sword in it's scabbard, and a local from one of the taverns in bed beside you. The Noble Dilettante
B. Books, books, books, including "Proper Usage of Han Characters in Poetic Verse", which you are passed out face down in. The Successful Provincial Candidate.
C. A thick haze of incense, and a small shrine with an icon of a guru, it's candles nearly burnt out, in an otherwise strictly spartan space. The Studious Monk
D. People getting up from bunks, a few rushing toward the door, an old woman pouring coffee into well worn mugs, while another rolls burritos. The Crafty Servant
E. What door? You mean the top of the crate? Where is the drat dog? He should have told me the pigs were coming. The Wandering Vagabond
F. [Your description here]

"Imperial Guard! Open in the name of his Celestial Majesty!"

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Vinny Possum
Sep 21, 2015

THUNDERDOME LOSER


As a note, this is based in the world of Ofaloaf's amazing "After the End" mod for Crusader Kings 2. If you have Crusader Kings I can't recommend it enough.

Loel
Jun 4, 2012

"For the Emperor."

There was a terrible noise.
There was a terrible silence.



D and I do love me some CK2

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?




A

Can't become king/queen and restore the glory of the empire if we're not a noble

Crazycryodude fucked around with this message at Jan 10, 2018 around 20:03

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




B, no particular reason why.

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN


A
We shall eventually find our true calling and make a pact with two others to bring order back to the chaos of the land.

Also Im really hoping the first Emperor had a love of gaudy sunglasses and played the piano.

Obscil
Feb 27, 2012

PLEASE LIKE ME!

A

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



I require an option where we thought the floor was lava (since that was how our predecessor was murdered) and we won't get out of bed until the lava is brought to justice. Thus we are stabbing the poo poo out of the floor. With a random guardsman's spear(from bed), because funzies.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


A, idly give the woman a modestly loaded credcard for her services (regardless of her motivation for joining us)
.
Being a lazy rich shithead appeals to my inner lazy rich shithead.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012



A.

Whoever knew a future emperor ever languished in such conditions?

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn


A
For the Emperor! For the Gurus!

Vinny Possum
Sep 21, 2015

THUNDERDOME LOSER




You groggily lift yourself half out of bed. Your head is spinning and pounding with a horrible red wine hangover, and the slits of light that make it through your curtained window cut like daggers into your eyes. Still, you had quite the time last night. These Imperial city girls seem to be suckers for a roguish but refined provincial accent and the coin to buy top shelf wine, hashish, and tobacco. You fumble onto your desk for a small pouch of coins and toss is to your companion, just hard enough to wake her up.

You had jumped at the chance to deliver the customary tribute and kowtow to the emperor, with your father ill. You had visited Sacramento once before, as a small child, and remembered the bright lights, bustling streets, and overwhelming energy of the city. Fifteen years later, it still does not disappoint.

If the guards are here, you might as well grab your tribute. They're probably just here to harass you about coming in after curfew. The doorman had taken quite a bit of cajoling to let you back it.

Where was it? You dart your eyes around the room, as memories of last night come rushing back in... you brought it out with you to show off, and it's not here now. Your father is going to kill you, you lost the priceless...

A. Vintage Zinfandels. You look down at the bottles at your feet. Oh no. House Eos of Paso Robles.
B. Idol of Oscar. You remember keeping a tight grasp on the small golden statue, but there were so many people wanting to see it last night... House Estrada of Northridge
C. Ceremonial Haida Raven Mask. Your father confiscated it in exchange for letting a high ranking barbarian go after a failed raid. House Duong of Milpitas.
D. Complete grizzly hide. You vaguely remember trying to show these city folk what a Sasquatch is. House Teague of Klamath.
E. An exquisitely made guitar. You lost it in a bet over skill with the instrument. House Burden of Visalia.
F. Exotic feathers and cocoa from the far south. There's still a few of the former in the girl's hair... House Cabrillo of Ensenada.

The guards knock again.
"[Your Name here], Open up! We'd rather not cause an incident if at all possible."

1. Open the door as fast as possible.
2. Try to get yourself and your room looking look decent first.
3. Grab your sword first, just in case.
4. Pretend you aren't there.
5. ???

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn


A
Miachel
2

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



E.
5.
I swear to all that would be relevant to swear to in the context of this sentence that I will force the thief to eat their own deep fried fingers in front of the assembled peerage to let it be known that I GIVE NO FUCKS regarding obstacles to fulfilling my obligations.

I give up my given name in the tradition of my people until The Segovia Special shall be recovered! Prior to victory, I shall be known as SEEKER OF VENGEANCE!


Blasphemaster fucked around with this message at Jan 13, 2018 around 06:19

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




E 2, and let them know that's what we (the protagonist) are doing. Hopefully they haven't developed an allergy to decorum like anyone sane in our (the peanut gallery) world.

Although that might be compatible with Blasphemaster's vow, and if so I'll add that in too.

Then again, we can make the vow once we're back in a bar or something, rather than the Imperial Guard.


Oh, right, character name. Hrm.

How 'bout Karen?

super sweet best pal
Nov 18, 2009

erhecktile disfunction

Lipstick Apathy

A 2

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


A
No preference on name - choose at random
1 - open the door long enough to tell the guards to gently caress off and slam it in their faces, look for unopened bottles.

Bee Bonk
Feb 19, 2011



E
2
Lijuan

Deadmeat5150
Nov 21, 2005

OLD MAN YELLS AT CLAN


A
Little Juan
1


If I were at home I'd share a picture of my Eos goblet I picked up nearly 20 years ago. Good wine.

Lord Cyrahzax
Oct 11, 2012



D, 3

And he needs to be named after the greatest leader California ever had: Norton.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001

Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here

Blasphemaster posted:

E.
5.
I swear to all that would be relevant to swear to in the context of this sentence that I will force the thief to eat their own deep fried fingers in front of the assembled peerage to let it be known that I GIVE NO FUCKS regarding obstacles to fulfilling my obligations.

I give up my given name in the tradition of my people until The Segovia Special shall be recovered! Prior to victory, I shall be known as SEEKER OF VENGEANCE!


I like this.

Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



Hexenritter posted:

I like this.

The upside is that our real name is Ugly Dog making GBS threads so it's a quest we will intentionally never solve.

Hexenritter
May 20, 2001

Buncha slack-jawed faggots around here

Blasphemaster posted:

The upside is that our real name is Ugly Dog making GBS threads so it's a quest we will intentionally never solve.

Going with the Chinese theme, my character's name in Age of Wushu was Mei Fat Dong, and my apprentice was Fük Mi

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Blasphemaster
Jul 10, 2008



Hexenritter posted:

Going with the Chinese theme, my character's name in Age of Wushu was Mei Fat Dong, and my apprentice was Fük Mi

There is actually a hilarious joke the name is the punchline to, sourced from a full blooded Cherokee guy my dad hung out with in his young wild days.

If Ugly Dog making GBS threads loses I'll share it. Otherwise it will remain a mystery until we can bring it up in game.

Blasphemaster fucked around with this message at Jan 15, 2018 around 05:49

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