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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Hello friends! Have you heard the good news? Piss tape is real! Better than that, I had too much time and money on my hands and designed a hat to spread the gospel of the Piss Tape.



The bad news is that the good folks over at Custom Ink had a minimum of 12 per order. That means I may have some extras.



Specifically, I have 9 extras. I refuse to make money off of this, despite literally paying for 12 hats so that I can have one. They're my hats, so I already assigned 5 of the hats to various C-SPAM posters based on my own arbitrary preferences. To those who are already getting a free hat, congratulations! To the rest of you, I guess I just don't like you or your posts as much as those folks. You should have done better. All hope is not lost, though! I have four extra hats and I want to give them out in as entertaining a way as possible. Credit to Joementum for suggesting a Sheep Game as a way of deciding how to hand out the remaining hats.
These hats are absolutely free, I will not accept any money for them and I will pay all of the costs to package and deliver them. The only cost for playing this game is your pride and some of the fleeting minutes you have remaining before we're all consumed in a Diet Coke-fueled nuclear holocaust. Well, that and the fact that if you win a hat you'll have to tell me where to ship it, ostensibly giving a weird guy from the internet your shipping address.

How do I play a Sheep Game?
I will ask a series of inane questions. Anyone interested in playing will email hats.for.sheep@gmail.com with their SA Username and their answers. Please do not PM me your answers. I promise I will count any entry sent to the email address. I reserve the right to arbitrarily reject or accept entries delivered via PM, depending on my mood and the quality of your entry.

I just have to answer your stupid questions? But then how do I win?
Entries are scored by how popular the total answers are among all other contestants. For instance, let's say one question is "Which fluid is in the tape?" If you answer "Piss" but all the other posters answer "Lemonade" then you get no points, despite the fact that you are right and they are wrong. However, if five other posters also say "Piss" then you get five points for that question. So do they. Your goal is to guess what answers will be the most popular. Whichever entry gets the most total points wins and gets a free hat. If there's a tie I'll figure out some sort of tiebreaker but let's ignore that for now.

I thought you said you had four extra hats
I do! Let's add a twist or two to this Sheep Game. In the spirit of the 45th President of the United States, let's celebrate failing upwards. Whoever has the lowest Sheep Game score will have Shot the Moon and also get a free hat. Important note: Because of this rule all answers must be actual, valid submissions for the questions to qualify for Shooting the Moon. If you just answer "Piss Tape" for all questions your entry will not count towards a Shoot the Moon attempt. Invalid answers do not disqualify you from any other potential hat wins, they only disqualify you from Shooting the Moon.

E:

Squizzle posted:

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Pancakes posted:

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

That leaves two more free hats
Threads are more fun if people are posting in them. I don't want to see my free hat thread empty, devoid of content or posts. Lobby for your favorite possible answers in the thread. This helps you in two ways:
1. You might persuade other posters to post your preferred answer, increasing your score.
2. Once the Sheep Game is over I will pick my favorite lobbying post from the thread. That poster will get a free hat. My decision is arbitrary and final. Make funny posts, make lovely posts, make effort posts, just post a gif for your suggested answer. I have no idea how I'll decide which is best.

That still leaves one more extra hat. Once all the entries are received I'll assign each one a number and run a random number generator. The owner of the winning entry gets a hat. The universe is a cruel and random place, but some lucky goon will be given a free hat just by being assigned a random number.

The Questions
1. Who is the best pre-Trump US President?
2. What is the best non-US country in the world currently recognized by the UN as of 1/12/2018? Note: This question carefully-worded in case Trump reduces a country to ash between now and when the game ends.
3. Who is the best justice currently sitting on the Supreme Court of the United States as of 1/12/2018? Note: This question carefully-worded because SCOTUS has some old, old people sitting.
4. What is the best majority opinion issued by the Supreme Court of the United States?
5. What is the saltiest dissenting opinion issued by a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States?
6. Who has been the best Pope in the history of the Catholic Church?
7. What is the best of the 50 United States of America?
8. What comic book character is most similar to Trump?
9. Which of Trump's children is the best?
10. What is the greatest Trump Tweet prior to 1/12/2018?
11. Which character from King of the Hill is most like Trump?
12. Which MLB player, living or dead, would Trump hate the most?
13. What is the worst of all Star Wars movies that received a wide release in theaters?
14. Which current world leader is most likely to invite Trump to their birthday party?
15. What breed of dog is Trump most likely to adopt as a White House pet to try to make him more "caring"?

Miscellaneous Extras
1. The game will remain open until 1/22/2018.
2. People who have already gotten a free hat are welcome to enter the Sheep Game. If I like you or your posts enough to just give you a free hat then you're more than welcome to try for a second.
3. Winners of the Sheep Game are not limited to one hat. If you win the Sheep Game you can also win an additional hat via making my favorite post in the thread or via the random number generator.

Pancakes fucked around with this message at Jan 12, 2018 around 17:51

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Peanut President
Nov 5, 2008



i dont care about whatever nerd poo poo you're talking about gently caress you

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Crazycryodude
Aug 15, 2015

Lets get our X tons of Duranium back!

....Is that still a valid thing to jingoistically blow out of proportion?




Peanut President posted:

i dont care about whatever nerd poo poo you're talking about gently caress you

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Sheng-Ji Yang
Mar 5, 2014




Peanut President posted:

i dont care about whatever nerd poo poo you're talking about gently caress you

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

lol owned

mrbradlymrmartin
Nov 5, 2008

Tune in tune out


HAIKOOLIGAN



if you strike me down i shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine

Serfer
Mar 10, 2003

The piss tape is real


There were presidents pre trump?

rudatron
May 31, 2011



wake up sheeple

cuntman.net
Mar 1, 2013



piss

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008

his words say yes


Fun Shoe

this thread is good and perfect and i will not abide knavery, rapscallionism, or scoundrelment in it

Best Giraffe
Mar 1, 2012





i sdent you a post op. it will answer all your questions.

the piss tape is real.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Interesting tidbit: There are 4 entries so far and every single entry has a different justice listed for #3. I specifically put that one in there to make sure some questions were going to have crossover, since a lot of them (SCOTUS opinions and dissents, for instance) are kind of out there.

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

I like keeping our country safe.



Jeb!

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

Silent Majority
PEEKABOO


10. What is the greatest Trump Tweet prior to 1/12/2018?

These questions. They are unanswerable.

Mariana Horchata
Jun 30, 2008

She said real life
sucks losers dry
If you want to fuck with the eagles
you have to learn to fly




College Slice

Peanut President posted:

i dont care about whatever nerd poo poo you're talking about gently caress you

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

super rude...

i like what u did op so i just wanted to pass that on and the design is great...i just don't wear hats and yellow really isn't my colour

Squizzle
Apr 24, 2008

his words say yes


Fun Shoe

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Squizzle posted:

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

Yossarian-22
Oct 26, 2014

I like keeping our country safe.



Pancakes posted:

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

disagree, but then again I just effortposted to poo poo the moon with all valid answers. what happens when multiple people all have zero points? now i'm bound to lose b/c all of my answers are within the realm of possibility

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Yossarian-22 posted:

disagree, but then again I just effortposted to poo poo the moon with all valid answers. what happens when multiple people all have zero points? now i'm bound to lose b/c all of my answers are within the realm of possibility

I'll figure out a tiebreaker if it comes to that. Maybe whoever has the most impressive shoot the moon entry. Also, I can confirm that you are not going to have zero points. We have our first match on SCOTUS justices you sick bastards.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

Silent Majority
PEEKABOO


How much does 12 PissHats cost nowadays?

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

madam, your hydraulic pressure is the most excellent of any president's in the history of this nation (USA)!

I've also got a sheep game going in filthy D&D proper, come and win glorious nothing!

https://forums.somethingawful.com/s...hreadid=3845479

Comrayn
Jul 22, 2008


Serfer
Mar 10, 2003

The piss tape is real


I need the hat to complete the ensemble

Serfer fucked around with this message at Jan 13, 2018 around 02:56

Misogynice Job!
Oct 27, 2007

She's a brick----house


well, h-here i go

Misogynice Job!
Oct 27, 2007

She's a brick----house


also, it's clearly Buck Strickland

Comrayn
Jul 22, 2008


Misogynice Job! posted:

also, it's clearly Buck Strickland

on the surface but if you dig deeper youíll see itís khan

El Mero Mero
Oct 13, 2001


Misogynice Job! posted:

also, it's clearly Cotton Hill

FTFY

Billzasilver
Nov 8, 2016


sent. I entered like the d&d sheep game so itís 15 lines with no numbers hope thatís cool

Billzasilver
Nov 8, 2016


Misogynice Job! posted:

also, it's clearly Buck Strickland

100% bill

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



CustomInk has emailed me saying I can get a discount on future orders if I get a group shot with my merchandise. I feel like this could be a poor decision on their part.


AHM THE PREZ'DINT OF FIDDY STATES

Brigadier Sockface
Apr 1, 2007


nazi, nazi popes, don't ever change

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



I PM'd everyone I could who'd expressed an interest in the hats but hadn't entered the contest yet (that I could remember anyway); I want to be sure people who like the idea of a free terrible hat get a chance. We're at 12 entries so far with a week to go.

E: Scoring a Sheep Game halfway through is kind of pointless but for those curious, the current lead is 22 points, narrowly ahead of two entries at 21 points apiece. One entry still has an impressive 0 points, while two other attempts at shooting the moon are at 2 points apiece. The almost-shooting-the-moon entries got tripped up by other posters, not one another. One got points from a SCOTUS justice, the other got points from a Star Wars movie.

Pancakes fucked around with this message at Jan 15, 2018 around 18:33

World War Mammories
Aug 25, 2006

Silent Majority
DESTROYER OF WORLDS


pope paul II is said to have died of a heart attack "whilst being sodomized by a page boy", just gonna throw that out there

Billzasilver
Nov 8, 2016


pfft no thank you, I like popes that didnít die

Mao Zedong Thot
Oct 16, 2008



Nap Ghost

okay, lets do it

Panic! at Nabisco
Jun 6, 2007

it seemed like a good idea at the time


I'd just like everyone to know that there is a correct answer for saltiest opinion.

redneck nazgul
Apr 25, 2013






i have submitted my really really really really really dumb answers

if someone comes up with the same answers i have for some of them, i will be shocked

BrownieMinusEye
Apr 22, 2008



Is everyone's points total gonna be posted at the end?

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



BrownieMinusEye posted:

Is everyone's points total gonna be posted at the end?

Yep. I almost posted to-date point totals yesterday but realized that much information midway through a sheep game could make it unfair.

PostNouveau
Sep 3, 2011

VY till I die

I'mma use this post to lobby for you to send one to Ashley Feinberg.

If I win, you're sending my hat to her.

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



redneck nazgul posted:

i have submitted my really really really really really dumb answers

if someone comes up with the same answers i have for some of them, i will be shocked

This was a really strong Shoot the Moon entry that also knocked the previously-perfect shoot-the-moon entry out of zero points, just FYI.

PostNouveau posted:

I'mma use this post to lobby for you to send one to Ashley Feinberg.

If I win, you're sending my hat to her.

You're lobbying in the thread more than most people are, so you've got that going for you. Six new entries since I updated last. Some statistical tidbits after 18 entries:
For question 3: Of the 9 living SCOTUS justices only 5 have been picked. You Shoot the Moon folks think too much alike.
For question 9: Every single one of Trump's children has been picked.
For question 13: Of the 9 Star Wars movies that have had wide releases in theaters, 8 of them have been picked.

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