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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Hello friends! Have you heard the good news? Piss tape is real! Better than that, I had too much time and money on my hands and designed a hat to spread the gospel of the Piss Tape.



The bad news is that the good folks over at Custom Ink had a minimum of 12 per order. That means I may have some extras.



Specifically, I have 9 extras. I refuse to make money off of this, despite literally paying for 12 hats so that I can have one. They're my hats, so I already assigned 5 of the hats to various C-SPAM posters based on my own arbitrary preferences. To those who are already getting a free hat, congratulations! To the rest of you, I guess I just don't like you or your posts as much as those folks. You should have done better. All hope is not lost, though! I have four extra hats and I want to give them out in as entertaining a way as possible. Credit to Joementum for suggesting a Sheep Game as a way of deciding how to hand out the remaining hats.
These hats are absolutely free, I will not accept any money for them and I will pay all of the costs to package and deliver them. The only cost for playing this game is your pride and some of the fleeting minutes you have remaining before we're all consumed in a Diet Coke-fueled nuclear holocaust. Well, that and the fact that if you win a hat you'll have to tell me where to ship it, ostensibly giving a weird guy from the internet your shipping address.

How do I play a Sheep Game?
I will ask a series of inane questions. Anyone interested in playing will email hats.for.sheep@gmail.com with their SA Username and their answers. Please do not PM me your answers. I promise I will count any entry sent to the email address. I reserve the right to arbitrarily reject or accept entries delivered via PM, depending on my mood and the quality of your entry.

I just have to answer your stupid questions? But then how do I win?
Entries are scored by how popular the total answers are among all other contestants. For instance, let's say one question is "Which fluid is in the tape?" If you answer "Piss" but all the other posters answer "Lemonade" then you get no points, despite the fact that you are right and they are wrong. However, if five other posters also say "Piss" then you get five points for that question. So do they. Your goal is to guess what answers will be the most popular. Whichever entry gets the most total points wins and gets a free hat. If there's a tie I'll figure out some sort of tiebreaker but let's ignore that for now.

I thought you said you had four extra hats
I do! Let's add a twist or two to this Sheep Game. In the spirit of the 45th President of the United States, let's celebrate failing upwards. Whoever has the lowest Sheep Game score will have Shot the Moon and also get a free hat. Important note: Because of this rule all answers must be actual, valid submissions for the questions to qualify for Shooting the Moon. If you just answer "Piss Tape" for all questions your entry will not count towards a Shoot the Moon attempt. Invalid answers do not disqualify you from any other potential hat wins, they only disqualify you from Shooting the Moon.

E:

Squizzle posted:

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Pancakes posted:

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

That leaves two more free hats
Threads are more fun if people are posting in them. I don't want to see my free hat thread empty, devoid of content or posts. Lobby for your favorite possible answers in the thread. This helps you in two ways:
1. You might persuade other posters to post your preferred answer, increasing your score.
2. Once the Sheep Game is over I will pick my favorite lobbying post from the thread. That poster will get a free hat. My decision is arbitrary and final. Make funny posts, make lovely posts, make effort posts, just post a gif for your suggested answer. I have no idea how I'll decide which is best.

That still leaves one more extra hat. Once all the entries are received I'll assign each one a number and run a random number generator. The owner of the winning entry gets a hat. The universe is a cruel and random place, but some lucky goon will be given a free hat just by being assigned a random number.

The Questions
1. Who is the best pre-Trump US President?
2. What is the best non-US country in the world currently recognized by the UN as of 1/12/2018? Note: This question carefully-worded in case Trump reduces a country to ash between now and when the game ends.
3. Who is the best justice currently sitting on the Supreme Court of the United States as of 1/12/2018? Note: This question carefully-worded because SCOTUS has some old, old people sitting.
4. What is the best majority opinion issued by the Supreme Court of the United States?
5. What is the saltiest dissenting opinion issued by a justice of the Supreme Court of the United States?
6. Who has been the best Pope in the history of the Catholic Church?
7. What is the best of the 50 United States of America?
8. What comic book character is most similar to Trump?
9. Which of Trump's children is the best?
10. What is the greatest Trump Tweet prior to 1/12/2018?
11. Which character from King of the Hill is most like Trump?
12. Which MLB player, living or dead, would Trump hate the most?
13. What is the worst of all Star Wars movies that received a wide release in theaters?
14. Which current world leader is most likely to invite Trump to their birthday party?
15. What breed of dog is Trump most likely to adopt as a White House pet to try to make him more "caring"?

Miscellaneous Extras
1. The game will remain open until 1/22/2018.
2. People who have already gotten a free hat are welcome to enter the Sheep Game. If I like you or your posts enough to just give you a free hat then you're more than welcome to try for a second.
3. Winners of the Sheep Game are not limited to one hat. If you win the Sheep Game you can also win an additional hat via making my favorite post in the thread or via the random number generator.

Pancakes fucked around with this message at Jan 12, 2018 around 17:51

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Interesting tidbit: There are 4 entries so far and every single entry has a different justice listed for #3. I specifically put that one in there to make sure some questions were going to have crossover, since a lot of them (SCOTUS opinions and dissents, for instance) are kind of out there.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Squizzle posted:

im not sure how you can disqualify invalid answers when the game is about one

Fair enough, I'll do my best to allow most "invalid" answers as long as it's not a clear attempt at tanking to shoot the moon.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Yossarian-22 posted:

disagree, but then again I just effortposted to poo poo the moon with all valid answers. what happens when multiple people all have zero points? now i'm bound to lose b/c all of my answers are within the realm of possibility

I'll figure out a tiebreaker if it comes to that. Maybe whoever has the most impressive shoot the moon entry. Also, I can confirm that you are not going to have zero points. We have our first match on SCOTUS justices you sick bastards.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



CustomInk has emailed me saying I can get a discount on future orders if I get a group shot with my merchandise. I feel like this could be a poor decision on their part.


AHM THE PREZ'DINT OF FIDDY STATES

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



I PM'd everyone I could who'd expressed an interest in the hats but hadn't entered the contest yet (that I could remember anyway); I want to be sure people who like the idea of a free terrible hat get a chance. We're at 12 entries so far with a week to go.

E: Scoring a Sheep Game halfway through is kind of pointless but for those curious, the current lead is 22 points, narrowly ahead of two entries at 21 points apiece. One entry still has an impressive 0 points, while two other attempts at shooting the moon are at 2 points apiece. The almost-shooting-the-moon entries got tripped up by other posters, not one another. One got points from a SCOTUS justice, the other got points from a Star Wars movie.

Pancakes fucked around with this message at Jan 15, 2018 around 18:33

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



BrownieMinusEye posted:

Is everyone's points total gonna be posted at the end?

Yep. I almost posted to-date point totals yesterday but realized that much information midway through a sheep game could make it unfair.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



redneck nazgul posted:

i have submitted my really really really really really dumb answers

if someone comes up with the same answers i have for some of them, i will be shocked

This was a really strong Shoot the Moon entry that also knocked the previously-perfect shoot-the-moon entry out of zero points, just FYI.

PostNouveau posted:

I'mma use this post to lobby for you to send one to Ashley Feinberg.

If I win, you're sending my hat to her.

You're lobbying in the thread more than most people are, so you've got that going for you. Six new entries since I updated last. Some statistical tidbits after 18 entries:
For question 3: Of the 9 living SCOTUS justices only 5 have been picked. You Shoot the Moon folks think too much alike.
For question 9: Every single one of Trump's children has been picked.
For question 13: Of the 9 Star Wars movies that have had wide releases in theaters, 8 of them have been picked.

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



Pancakes posted:

2. People who have already gotten a free hat are welcome to enter the Sheep Game. If I like you or your posts enough to just give you a free hat then you're more than welcome to try for a second.


juche avocado posted:

i'm scared to even post in this thread much less compete

Can I submit answers for funsies and only funsies? I wouldn't win anyway, because I'm bad. Unless I've been That DICK!'d as well, w/o my knowledge. Then this would be for extremely serious bloodsport.

Your Pancakes-Love free hat is safe, go nuts posting or submitting an entry however you like.

E: The five posters who are getting free no-contest hats already know who they are, got PMís regarding their hats and Iíve set their hats aside already. If you didnít get a PM from me specifically saying you were getting a free hat then this thread is your shot. If you got a PM saying you were getting a free hat then itíll be on its way once the thread is done, no takebacks.

Pancakes fucked around with this message at Jan 17, 2018 around 19:34

Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



HootTheOwl posted:

I legit put this down and was worried my answer was going to be considered invalid.

I'm not going to lie, your entry really toes the line on shooting the moon in good faith. You weren't the only one to pick Trump from Doonesbury and that's fair game in my opinion (Bill the Cat post-brain transplant from Bloom County would also work). Your King of the Hill entry seemed iffier to me. Enough of your entries were funny enough that I think they should probably count for shooting the moon, though. If it's close I may put it to a blind vote in the thread.

E: Or maybe count them as lobbying and give the "shoot the moon" award to another poster. We'll see how it all shakes out, we've got a few days to go.

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Pancakes
May 21, 2001

I'm glad that this is an environment where you feel free to fail.



We're at 25 total entries so far and still have one SCOTUS Justice who hasn't been picked by anyone, either in a Shoot the Moon entry or otherwise. We also have had a famous concurrence submitted as both an opinion and a dissent by different contestants. It's still too early to know for certain who'll win, but there are 4-5 questions that are very clearly going to decide who's in the top bracket of points.

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