Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us $3,400 per month for bandwidth bills alone, and since we don't believe in shoving popup ads to our registered users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
«5 »
  • Locked thread
PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat



Released in 2004 by Day 1 Studios, creators of such games as FEAR and FEAR 3 (but not Fear 2), Mech Assault 2 is not only the best game in the two-game Mech Assault franchise, it's also by far the stupidest. Mech Assault 2 is maligned by BattleTech fans the world over as it heralded both the death of the Mechwarrior franchise and the dawn of Clickytech: Mechwarrior Dark Age. For all its intense, mind-numbing stupidity, it never quite wears out its welcome as the single-player campaign can be casually played (deaths and all) in about four hours and the world-record speedrun is right around 1 hour 37 minutes. Give or take.

So join me and my guests, the legendary Coolguy and TheLastRoboKy as we talk about robits shooting robits and MST3K a plotline written on a napkin during an executive lunch at Microsoft headquarters.

Featuring DMCA claims music from KORN and Papa Roach!

Right now, Commentary over Cutscenes and RAW (no commentary) will be the only versions available. If you really want I might be persuaded to do a NCOC version. I just don't see much point, the cutscenes are really bad. How bad? Well, the very first frame of one of our later videos looks like this:



Besides, if I muted the commentary every time Lt. Foster said something you'd be watching the RAW video. He never shuts up.


Characters

Our "nameless" silent protagonist may look upon all of his coworkers with an aura of quiet disdain, but he actually isn't quite so nameless as the game would have you believe. Mech Assault 2: Lone Wolf constantly refers to the player as either "Captain" or "Mechwarrior," while the name "Wolf" is printed right on his medieval breastplate. The player character's name is obviously Captain Wolf Mechwarrior, and we are a merciless, unthinking killing machine. We will be responsible for the deaths of millions by the time this LP ends, which is why I contend to the BattleTech fans in the audience that Captain Wolf Mechwarrior is actually a Manei Domini cyborg and the entire game is a fantasy being forcibly downloaded into his head by the Word of Blake to encourage him to keep murdering anyone they point him in the general direction of.

To those of you who aren't BattleTech fans and don't know what that last sentence means: don't worry about it.



Lt. Foster our hillbilly briefing officer who never shuts the gently caress up. Notable for being unable to identify a Cougar even though we started in a Cougar in MechAssault 1 and for not knowing what "Plasma" is, Foster is the man responsible for creating or maintaining most of the war machines we'll be using throughout the LP. He's voiced by Troy Lund who has done nothing else of particular note. Thank god.



Major Natalia Kerensky is both our boss and the game's designated Princess Peach. Her command responsibilities include getting captured by the baddie, telling Lt. Foster when to shut the gently caress up (she is shirking this responsibility), and creating such complex tactical battle plans as "throw Captain Wolf at the enemy" and "nuke the friendly civilian populace before the Word of Blake can brainwash them." She's voiced by Shelly Reynolds who has done pretty much nothing else.



Alera is the game's designated inscrutable "The Closest We Could Get to Making Someone Look Like an Arab in 2004." Posing as a pirate, she is secretly a ComStar spy who uses her pirate persona to blend in and steal secrets through such oft-employed spy tactics as:
- drawing a lot of negative attention to herself
- betraying her allies for no reason
- and making Major Kerensky want to murder her
She knows what's going on from the start but in traditional Video Game fashion she won't tell us until right before we land on the last planet. Her voice actor is Kit Harris whose other claim to fame is F.L.U.D.D. from Mario Sunshine.



Our nemesis Nemesis leads the Word of Blake on their quest to conquer the Inner Sphere by find the dragonballs tricking us into helping them build a Reaper. He's also Space Amish and is voiced by the wonderful David Scully, AKA Halo's Sgt. Johnson. In this game, he's doing a pretty good Lex Luthor impression.


Episodes











PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at Feb 15, 2018 around 23:24

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Treuan
Jun 30, 2011

Go have some COFFEE with CREAM or something! Because I'll tell you something! This is a happy place!


I was gonna make a joke about how Mechwarrior Captain Wolf Mechwarrior must be the designated Kerensky, but I see the game beat me to it.

Looking forward to this! The first Mechassault game was what brought me into battle tech, though I never played the second (nor any mechwarrior games till ).

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!


foster looks altogether too old in that profile picture

like when we were commentating on this i thought he would look like one of those gawky kids from high school programming class

Dreadwroth
Dec 12, 2009

by R. Guyovich


So the Wolf's Dragoons only have one Mechwarrior left? Uhhhhhh huuuuuuhhhhh.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

Nah, there're more. We'll just be getting them all killed between the 2nd and 3rd planets.

Dreadwroth
Dec 12, 2009

by R. Guyovich


Good, gently caress Wolf's Dragoons they were too sassy for their own good.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!


oh jesus i just REALLY READ the OP and noticed that our pirate lady is the FLUDD from super mario sunshine

i'm not sure how i can look at her again without breaking into giggles

Aces High
Mar 26, 2010


I remember playing a lot of local multiplayer of this game back when it came out, I don't remember anything else about it so I'm ready to find out how dumb it is outside of multiplayer

ArclightBorealis
May 28, 2014

You are HUGE!
That means you have HUGE ESSENCE!

RIP AND TEAR YOUR ESSENCE!!


I never played either of the Mech Assault games, or anything else BattleTech or Mechwarrior. I always knew these Xbox games existed and where typically scoffed at and watching this first video...I almost want to play it? Looks so stupid, and I kinda get a kick out of the wall climbing mechanic even if it is finicky as poo poo.

The openness of the level and destructibility is giving me a desire to replay Metal Wolf Chaos, oddly enough.

radintorov
Feb 18, 2011


Fallen Rib

I've been waiting for this LP to start. This is going to be magical

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

Last Time on Dragoonball Z



We're under attack!
Shut up Foster!
Mechwarrior, use the Iron Man to blow up the bad guys!
Blow up that flying truck, too, it'll be funny and sometimes you'll get health back!
Shut up Foster!
Holy balls, the invaders from space have DropShips!
...
Now I'm here too.
And I loving hate you.

PoptartsNinja fucked around with this message at Jan 18, 2018 around 00:20

Hwurmp
May 20, 2005

Extremely amusing creature.


PoptartsNinja posted:

Last Time on Dragoonball Z

aw you edited it

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

Your joke was better.

painedforever
Sep 12, 2017

Quem Deus Vult Perdere, Prius Dementat.


Oh my god. Y'know, I watched an LP of the two Mech Assaults last year, because I wanted to know what happened in 'em (I don't do consoles). The first was at least recognizably BattleTech. This one? Not so much.

Also, everyone is significantly stupider.

Calax
Oct 5, 2011



The movie that Coolguy was looking for was Wanted. Where Morgan Freeman says "This motherfucker!"

Siegkrow
Oct 11, 2013

Time is a flat circle. Everything we've ever argued about or will argue about, we're going to argue about over and over and over again.


Yo poptarts, how is your wrist?

berryjon
May 30, 2011

I have an invasion to go to.

Oh man, you've been talking about this since I commentated on your MW2:Mercs LP.

This is going to be awesome!

Well, the commentary is, not so much the game.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

Siegkrow posted:

Yo poptarts, how is your wrist?

Not great but I'm managing.

Horsebanger
Jun 25, 2009

I SUNK USS ENTERPRISE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS SHITTY AVATAR


oh hell yeah I rented this for a weekend from Video Ezy and it was great for a $5 rental

SIGSEGV
Nov 4, 2010


I'm pretty sure the tracks of that tank were going to wrong way.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

The body works independently of the turret and I was driving it backwards at a couple of points. Preeeety sure the animations for the treads don't change direction.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!


Calax posted:

The movie that Coolguy was looking for was Wanted. Where Morgan Freeman says "This motherfucker!"

THANK YOU

cokerpilot
Apr 23, 2010

Fangz! Stop coming to meetings drunk and trying to adopt Tevery Best!

Sandman! Stop standing on the table and making up stupid operation names!

Gods, why do I put up with these people?


Oh man I loved this game I rented for like three months straight just to do the multiplayer.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

If you will not serve in combat, you will serve on the firing line!

One suggestion I would like to make is a slight balance to the commentators audio as PTN's voice has a tendency to get muddled by the cutscene and ingame dialogue.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

Cooked Auto posted:

One suggestion I would like to make is a slight balance to the commentators audio as PTN's voice has a tendency to get muddled by the cutscene and ingame dialogue.

I thought I'd taken care of that, I'll give it another go-over for the videos I haven't finished processing. My headset/microphone has gotten pretty old so I'm afraid it may be more of a hardware issue.

Fuuka Ayase
Apr 25, 2017

Literally Hitler


There are so many design decisions I want to ask 'why?' for. Like general weapon balance.

RubricMarine
Feb 14, 2012



This game was my introduction to BattleTech. Even though it's nothing like the rest of the franchise, I can't help but hold a huge softspot for it. It may not be perfect, far from it, but it's a fun game! Honest!

TheLastRoboKy
May 2, 2009

Finishing the game with everyone else's continues


Fuuka Ayase posted:

There are so many design decisions I want to ask 'why?' for. Like general weapon balance.

This game is chock full of stuff that seems to alternate between "Hey that's pretty good" and "What the gently caress made them do that" almost at random.

PoptartsNinja
May 9, 2008

He is still almost definitely not a spy



Soiled Meat

Last Time on Dragoonball Z



Drive this tank!
Shoot that 'Mech!
Press 'X' to Zoom!
Why did you park so far from the spaceport?
...
Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Quick, drive this 'Mech I named after Satan!

Technowolf
Nov 4, 2009



Does the music in this remind anyone else of the music from the original Painkiller? Or was that just the music most games used in 2004?

chiasaur11
Oct 22, 2012


PoptartsNinja posted:

Quick, drive this 'Mech I named after Satan!


I'd just like to say that I cannot imagine a single way piloting a mech named after a demon could go wrong.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009
I only want two things: new neck bones for Lowtax, and for you to shut the fuck up about pretending characters are lesbians to prove your wokeness.


chiasaur11 posted:

I'd just like to say that I cannot imagine a single way piloting a mech named after a demon could go wrong.

Eh, the only BattleTech game I've ever played had a mech called the Rakshasa and I don't remember it being remarkable. Just a generic heavy mech that IIRC looked like a mutant Catapult.

Scary names so rarely live up to the hype.

Psion
Dec 13, 2002



Oh MechAssault 2.

I played the first one straight through when I got an Xbox and it was okay...ish. Extremely dumb, but I had free time. Out of a misplaced sense of "oh that wasn't awful" I got this one and ... just, no. I'm sure there's something to be said for it but I checked out extremely early and didn't look back.

Slaan
Mar 16, 2009

I GAIN POWER FROM EATING PEOPLE, JUST ASSUME I'M ALWAYS VOTING TO EAT PEOPLE



Nap Ghost

Having played a couple mechwarrior games, 3 & 4, the crysis mod Living Legends and mechwarrior online, this game makes me sad. It's not mech combat at all, just a bog standard shoot um up. All the stuff that makes battletech fun is missing

painedforever
Sep 12, 2017

Quem Deus Vult Perdere, Prius Dementat.


Well, the game has 'Mechs, and it has jargon out of the Battletech universe, but that's about all.

Is the game feminist? The only male characters are the villain, the psychopathic mute protagonist, and Lt. Foster, who is the comic relief. The commander is a female, as is her lesbian-lover-pirate-girlfriend.

They should make out.

Dr. Snark
Oct 15, 2012

I'M SORRY, OK!? I admit I've made some mistakes, and Jones has clearly paid for them.
...
But ma'am! Jones' only crime was looking at the wrong files!
...
I beg of you, don't ship away Jones, he has a wife and kids!

-United Nations Intelligence Service

chiasaur11 posted:

I'd just like to say that I cannot imagine a single way piloting a mech named after a demon could go wrong.

To be fair that mech did actually work. Kind of.

Coolguye
Jul 6, 2011

Required by his programming!


painedforever posted:

Well, the game has 'Mechs, and it has jargon out of the Battletech universe, but that's about all.

Is the game feminist? The only male characters are the villain, the psychopathic mute protagonist, and Lt. Foster, who is the comic relief. The commander is a female, as is her lesbian-lover-pirate-girlfriend.

They should make out.

adjectives require intelligence

Calax
Oct 5, 2011



Coolguye posted:

THANK YOU

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GkDpED0U8kk

It also has a lovely video game.

RE: this game

Isn't a Star League data core what set up a tech Renaissance around the fourth succession war? And now in this game series has you finding two...

Dreadwroth
Dec 12, 2009

by R. Guyovich


The Rakshasa was the IS trying their best to imitate the Timber Wolf with probably not a lot of success, but given how good the omni is that probably would be the outcome anyway.
Actually, after having another look at it, it's not nearly as bad as I remember. It's basically a Marauder with LRM10s and lasers instead of PPCs.

Dreadwroth fucked around with this message at Jan 21, 2018 around 06:20

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

painedforever
Sep 12, 2017

Quem Deus Vult Perdere, Prius Dementat.


Coolguye posted:

adjectives require intelligence

Me not talk so good.

Yeah, the sentence kinda got away from me.

What I meant was that there are three significant male characters in this game, the protagonist, Lt. Foster, and the bad guy. The protagonist doesn't speak or emote in any way, aside from murder. Lt. Foster is the comic relief, and therefore hilariously incompetent. The bad guy is evil, and therefore ineffectively incompetent. On the other hand, we have two female characters, Major Natalia (Kerensky) and Alera. Natalia isn't entirely incompetent (she gets caught because Alera betrays them or something?), and Alera is a pirate jumpship captain, which is all kinds of awesome. Also, she saves the Universe at some point near the end?

Was the game trying to be feminist? Was Microsoft trying to be all "affirmative action" back in the day, while still not giving you a female protagonist?

  • Locked thread
«5 »