- Android Blues
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ingmar krump lives inside a big IKEA, and Batman grapnels in there at night to kill him. He kills ingmar krump inside his own IKEA. He caves his head in with a pasta cylinder with rubberised vacuum seal for maximum freshness. He puts him in his big trolley and takes him down the airport walking conveyor. He sees some lesbian and gay couples and nods at them respectfully. They nod at him too. He keeps Gotham safe, and if he doesn't keep IKEA safe, that's fine. He checks out Ingmar Krump's corpse on the wide checkout tills that are made to accommodate bed pieces and secondhand sofas from the clearance. Ingmar Krump refuses to scan. The cashier tells Batman, "sorry, this doesn't normally happen," and calls up the item code.
ingmar krump's caved in head blood is dripping through the wire cagework of the trolley onto the ground. Batman would slip in the blood, if he hadn't designed new rubberised treads for his boots after a run in with Clayface last fall. Because of that, he doesn't. he grinds them against the floor and enjoys the feeling of his stability, his power. If someone tried to cave his head in with a pasta cylinder with vacuum seal, he would simply disarm them with an Aikido move. He would hold them in a finger lock and make them tell him where the loot is. He would fight a dozen mobsters and the pasta cylinder would be an off-panel detail, a forgotten memory.
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Jan 30, 2018 10:20
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Apr 23, 2024 15:58
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- Android Blues
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After killing Ingmar Krump, Batman buys a Billy bookcase for Robin. It's a good deal, but you can see the holes on the inner sides of the bookcase where the shelf can be pegged at various heights. You can always see all the holes, all the time. There's no angle to look at the bookcase without also looking at a million dark little holes to nowhere, through the other side of the bookcase, through to nothing.
He guesses he can just fill it up with books. But what does Tim even like to read? He doesn't know. He was too busy garroting and strangling to death the founder of IKEA, ingmar krump. He was too busy cutting and punching Ingmar Krump's body until it was dead and not a good home for a soul any more. He was too busy throwing batarangs into the air in celebration. Some of them came back and sank into Ingmar krump's mouth like the hole was quicksand.
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Jan 30, 2018 10:30
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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. He was too busy garroting and strangling to death the founder of IKEA, ingmar krump. He was too busy cutting and punching Ingmar Krump's body until it was dead and not a good home for a soul any more. He was too busy throwing batarangs into the air in celebration. Some of them came back and sank into Ingmar krump's mouth like the hole was quicksand.
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Jan 30, 2018 12:49
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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I felt bad that the first thing I thought when I read the headline about Ingmar Krampad was 'Oh no, Batman killed him.'
Maybe this will make you happier, it turns out that Batman could not have killed Ingmar Krampad because Batman does not exist
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Jan 30, 2018 12:50
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- cda
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by Hand Knit
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Now excuse me while I go to IKEA to by a Battmanndidit sofa
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Jan 30, 2018 12:51
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- Piso Mojado
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tfw you reach into your utility belt a week after killing ikea founder ingmur krampp, and a tiny pencil stabs your hand
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Jan 30, 2018 15:36
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Apr 23, 2024 15:58
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Jan 30, 2018 10:20
