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Dick Bastardly posted:An opera singer, who is also a sword, flying through space. Fin. For sale: Opera sword, never flown |
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Feb 1, 2018 00:03
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cda posted:If you were an alien with three arms would you weild Yes. |
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Feb 1, 2018 00:08
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Behold! The saga of Swordhas, warrior prince of the three-armed men of Triton. With his has sword he vanquishes the Mammoth-men of Jupiter, the dread Alphabot Collective from Earth, and the sultry sirens of living Mercury crystal. Each episode with no fewer than five, that's right FIVE original songs performed by church choirs over space battles involving now fewer than five, that's right FIVE clearly identifiable factions at war over the face of the solar system. And did somebody say guest stars? Every episode features no fewer than five, that's right FIVE guest stars, all of whom play Swordhas. The legend of Swordhas is too mighty to be portrayed by just one actor per episode, and so AT LEAST five different people portray him, identifiable to viewers by Swordhas' signature floppy gray hat with eagle-feather. Do you like ice-cream? Then be amazed as every episode contains five, that's right FIVE special coupons for use at Baskin Robbins, but we won't just give them to you! QR codes have been hidden in frame-long easter eggs throughout the show, find them to redeem them and collect your delicious values at Baskin Robbins! Truly the time has come for all science fantasy space opera fans to rejoice, for the best of the best has arrived. The Saga of Swordhas, seasons 1-12 now streaming!
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Feb 1, 2018 00:09
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Nosfereefer posted:earth is being invaded by aliens to harvest all the humans, but it turns out they're lethally alergic to weed smoke. to save humanity a rag tag group of stoners set out to smoke more weed than ever has been smoked before i would totally watch this on netflix
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Feb 1, 2018 00:57
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Nosfereefer posted:the hero is a nobody, but get this, somehow he's destined to save the galaxy. space stations blows up, space princesses are rescued, you name it. even the charming, but deadly rouge turns into a valiant knight. needs more punch. Maybe if the hero was also a blood relative of the primary antagonist? I mean, who would see that coming? |
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Feb 1, 2018 01:58
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Ten alien kings wage war over a (rolls D4) waterfall planet rumored to hold the galaxy's greatest treasure: a portal in (rolls d4) space AND time. Only our plucky stock characters can run around the Campbell flags and win the ending... |
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Feb 1, 2018 02:15
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The ship's sapient AI (female, sultry) does all the piloting and onboard operations freeing the ragtag crew to devote all their time to interspecies love triangles and zero g sword fights set to dubstep theramin music. Half the cast has vague accents and they all look like the low budget Canadian equivalent of actual TV stars. Every episode is just a Star Trek plot with more swearing and partial nudity. You've never heard of it, but there's already three seasons on Netflix. |
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Feb 1, 2018 05:41
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Duckbox posted:The ship's sapient AI (female, sultry) does all the piloting and onboard operations freeing the ragtag crew to devote all their time to interspecies love triangles and zero g sword fights set to dubstep theramin music. Half the cast has vague accents and they all look like the low budget Canadian equivalent of actual TV stars. Every episode is just a Star Trek plot with more swearing and partial nudity. You've never heard of it, but there's already three seasons on Netflix. Oh hell yes I'll watch me some gender-bent Lexx... |
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Feb 1, 2018 05:43
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Get this, it's set in the future when people live on other planets, but it's been the future so long people start thinking it's the past again and there's knights and swords and Shakespeare talk all the time and people are like "this is normal" even though those are history things and this is the future. Pretty wild, right? |
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Feb 1, 2018 06:11
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Earth's molemen and Mars' molemen finally go to all-out war, and the surface people are vexed by all the missiles being launched up through the ground. When NASA tries to do something about it by hiring a famous police psychic the wheels of change are set into motion, and Madam Mystico's Space Rangers are born! There's Tiny, the fat one! There's Bigs, the not fat one! And 4 other rotating cast members who are never there long enough to earn the audience's trust. Together they... I dunno, fall down on a crappy little set a bunch? Run through hallways pointing toy guns? This is such a paint-by-numbers genre you can just imagine any stupid thing and it fits, the ...walrus men from Ganymede attack with their... nuclear... boomerangs... I suddenly feel like reading a book.
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Feb 1, 2018 06:16
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Sarah Greathair -- Oh nimbus! The Omegacorp Cruiser is still tailing us! Garth Bookchin -- That's impossible! The photon storm should have covered our tracks! Cerebrox -- I postulate that they followed our Nega-Tachyon trail. Garth Bookchin -- They have that technology? Cerebrox -- There can be no alternative explanation. Princess Cervicia -- With that power they could conquer the whole Tetrarchy! We have to warn my father before it's too late! Garth Bookchin -- Don't get your Plasmanties in a knot, your majesty, we'll get the Dicinnabarite Matrix there in time! Sarah Greathair -- We'll have to survive first, oh space rocks, they're firing! Garth Bookchin -- Evasive Maneuvers! Splounk -- Splounk, splounk! Garth Bookchin -- Can someone shut that zot danked furball up? Splounk -- Splounk?! Princess Cervicia -- It's all right, Splounk he doesn't mean it. Garth Bookchin -- The h... Cerebrox -- Excuse me Captain, but I believe the Canursoid is attempting to direct our attention to Paraquadrant Theta. Splounk -- Splounk! Splounk! Garth Bookchin -- Paraquadrant Theta? What -- The Disturbance, of course! Sarah Greathair -- They're firing again! We can't take another hit! Garth Bookchin -- Then we have no choice. Set AstriConn coordinates for Paraquadrant Theta, we're going in! Splounk -- ...Splounk |
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Feb 1, 2018 06:49
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Scene: a lone interstellar cruiser floating casually--engines lukewarm, turbines slowed--lazily orbiting a gas giant bathed in the blue tinge of its nearby star. Zoom in and pan through the bulbous cockpit; seated in the pilot's chair, an obese man (white, early 30s) with unkempt hair, crooked glasses, and a scruffy neck beard. He click-clacks furiously on a mounted keyboard, and a holographic display on the side cockpit window fills with text. Somebody was wrong on the extranet, and he was the only being smart enough within a 9-parsec radius to prove them wrong. After a while, he stops, breathes, and hits the Enter key with finality. Moments later, a fleet of similar ships manned by similarly large men appear out of hyperspace. OBESE MAN: Oh poo poo. Title card: SOMETHING AWFUL... IN SPACE |
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Feb 1, 2018 06:52
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Double post |
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Feb 1, 2018 14:17
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Duckbox posted:Get this, it's set in the future when people live on other planets, but it's been the future so long people start thinking it's the past again and there's knights and swords and Shakespeare talk all the time and people are like "this is normal" even though those are history things and this is the future. Pretty wild, right? go on... ---------------- |
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Feb 1, 2018 14:39
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you think it's MacBeth but at the end you see the ruined statue of liberty in the background
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Feb 1, 2018 14:40
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cda posted:you think it's MacBeth but at the end you see the ruined statue of liberty in the background Charlton Heston holding a skull in his hand: Alas, poor Yorick, you maniac! You blew it all up! God drat you, I knew you well! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Feb 1, 2018 14:56
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The Barber of Seville, but the Barber is a Laser Swordsman and Seville is Cygnus-5.
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Feb 1, 2018 15:06
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The Laser Swordsman of Cygnus-5, if you will
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Feb 1, 2018 15:06
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Precocious twins who were separated at birth swap identities in a plot to reunite and reignite the love their divorced parents once had for each other, set on the planet Grobdar VIII during the bloodiest part of the great war between the native Crocomen and the brave human invaders who are enslaving them.
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Feb 1, 2018 15:17
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SciFiDownBeat posted:Scene: a lone interstellar cruiser floating casually--engines lukewarm, turbines slowed--lazily orbiting a gas giant bathed in the blue tinge of its nearby star. Zoom in and pan through the bulbous cockpit; seated in the pilot's chair, an obese man (white, early 30s) with unkempt hair, crooked glasses, and a scruffy neck beard. He click-clacks furiously on a mounted keyboard, and a holographic display on the side cockpit window fills with text. Somebody was wrong on the extranet, and he was the only being smart enough within a 9-parsec radius to prove them wrong. |
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Feb 1, 2018 15:26
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Blast Flimflam, the galaxy's hunkiest con artist, has bamboozled a crew of over 30 unique, well developed characters into helping him hunt for "el Valioso", the greatest treasure in the history of a thousand worlds. Will any of the side characters wise up that it's just an aquarium treasure-chest taped to the holomap? Tune in every episode for six seasons to find out! |
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Feb 1, 2018 16:59
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cda posted:The Laser Swordsman of Cygnus-5, if you will Closest shave with a Lazer Razor this side of Io 
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Feb 1, 2018 19:44
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a teen infected with the space virus uses her space powers to eat brains and solve crimes iSpaceZombie, straight to vhs |
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Feb 1, 2018 22:39
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Bikini Squad- in Space!!! When Chinese dragons from the sun threaten mankind's satellite entertainment array, who will grease themselves up with cocoa butter and wrestle the beasts into sizzling submission!? Bikini Squad- in Space!!! When robot pirates capture the Neptunian Vaudeville circuit and hold the solar system's strategic reserves of ventriloquist figures for ransom, who has the kick-line chops to seduce Captain VonNeuman and assassinate him on-stage at his own birthday party!? Bikini Squad- in Space!!! When the Abrahamic God announces the end-times in everyone's breakfasts and a wave of annihilating anti-matter begins sweeping the Milky Way, who has the boobs to distract the old man long enough he loses interest!? You guessed it... Bikini Squad- in Space!!! |
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Feb 1, 2018 22:55
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Bikini Squad- in Space!!!  If I ever win Powerball, I will hire you to executive produce this show. Hell, I'll start a network that has half the shows in this thread!
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Feb 1, 2018 23:15
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cda posted:you think it's MacBeth but at the end you see the ruined statue of liberty in the background ---------------- |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:17
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I was just your average run-of-the-mill astronaut until an energy burst from Proxima Centauri transformed me into The Pancakes Man! Now, quarantined to not-earth space to prevent infecting others, I search the galaxy for my tormentors, forever running from the many hungry enemies out to get The Pancakes Man. In my short-stack rocket with maple-drive I search this disk of stars for a butter-pat of revenge. Those who wronged me will rue the day they created... The Pancakes Man. -Rated Tv 60+ for constant swearing and seizure-inducing special effects. -Every episode contains three unique suicide attempts with follow-at-home instructions. -Airs upside down in the southern hemisphere for space-accuracy. -Reunites the entire surviving casts of Cheers AND Frasier as you've never seen them before! |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:37
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cda posted:you think it's MacBeth but at the end you see the ruined statue of liberty in the background |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:40
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Two loveable working class hive minded superspecies try to take their wives on a romantic cruise but everything goes wrong! Garglorog accidentally knocks the captain over the rail, Zarglorog eviscerates the activity director at a luau, and the combined 80 quadrillion ten-foot-tall screaming bug-men comprising our hapless foursome barely fit in the Earth's Pacific ocean to begin with! It's hijinks on the high seas this fall on Alien Overboards! |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:48
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:I was just your average run-of-the-mill astronaut until an energy burst from Proxima Centauri transformed me into The Pancakes Man! Now, quarantined to not-earth space to prevent infecting others, I search the galaxy for my tormentors, forever running from the many hungry enemies out to get The Pancakes Man. In my short-stack rocket with maple-drive I search this disk of stars for a butter-pat of revenge. Those who wronged me will rue the day they created... The Pancakes Man. This was an actual adult swim show. |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:49
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cda posted:you think it's MacBeth but at the end you see the ruined statue of liberty in the background |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:52
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Duckbox posted:This was an actual adult swim show. drat it. Uh... Duke Ufo of the Martian royal family falls in love with an Earthling he sees on our broadcasts and wants her for his bride. The only catch- she's a holographic J-pop star cartoon character! Now with five thousand Martian battle platforms poised above the plucky stage crew, multiple voice actresses and a nerve-wracked record label must engineer the show of a lifetime, taking Synthsuko from a concert stage to the Martian dating scene (and beyond!) It's Big Guy and Rusty meets Her with some Duck Dogers thrown in for good measure. BoldFrankensteinMir fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Feb 1, 2018 |
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Feb 1, 2018 23:55
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Earthmen and Veganoids have been at war for a thousand years, but space is actually really big you guys, so basically all they do is hurl sick burns at each other. When Roastmaster General Travis Burnward finds himself trapped on an asteroid with the Veganoids warrior poetess Caustix, insults, laser cutlasses, and... sparks will fly, but can these two knights of slam find the common ground to unite their peoples? Yes. |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:06
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An adventurous but greedy group of explorers known as the Wightka Lonialists discover a new race of mystical, peaceful, nature-loving aliens who call themselves Na'Tiveamericans. I'd tell you what happens next but I'm trying to closely hold this completely original and non-allegorical story until I have a buyer. Let's just say that some of the Lonialists aren't as nice as they appear.
google THIS fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Feb 2, 2018 |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:06
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google THIS posted:An adventurous but greedy group of explorers known as the Wightka Lonialists discover a new race of mystical, peaceful, nature-loving aliens who call themselves Na'Tiveamericans. I'd tell you what happens next but I'm trying to closely hold this completely original and non-allegorical story until I have a buyer. Let's just say that some of the Lonialists aren't as nice as they appear. OK, I like the culture clash angle, but is the message that genocide is bad, because I don't want to watch something political. |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:14
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Duckbox posted:Earthmen and Veganoids have been at war for a thousand years, but space is actually really big you guys, so basically all they do is hurl sick burns at each other. When Roastmaster General Travis Burnward finds himself trapped on an asteroid with the Veganoids warrior poetess Caustix, insults, laser cutlasses, and... sparks will fly, but can these two knights of slam find the common ground to unite their peoples? Yes. I want to produce this off-broadway with Laura Linney and John Witherspoon. We will make a loving fortune. |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:16
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:I want to produce this off-broadway with Laura Linney and John Witherspoon. We will make a loving fortune. Have your people call my people. We're making it happen. |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:20
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Duckbox posted:OK, I like the culture clash angle, but is the message that genocide is bad, because I don't want to watch something political. The truth is somewhere in the middle. Genocide isn't ideal, but as long as a ragtag group survives, that includes almost all of the named characters except the wise old patriarch and the Lonialist protagonist's romantic rival, it all works out. I'd better watch it before I tip too much of my hand here. |
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Feb 2, 2018 00:43
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When Earth's pornography archives reach one trillion zetabytes in size they spontaneously generate sentience, and after The Great Porndroid wars all traces of smut are banished to space. But, after a thousand years of peace are shattered by a rural farm couple making homebrew on MakeMake, a gravelly planetoid in the kuiper belt, the porndroids are back! How will the prudish anti-sex humans of the inner worlds cope with their ancient enemy's unquenchable lust? Will the "backwards" trans-neptunian homesteaders with their famous promiscuity save the day? Or will a dark underworld of Venusian secret sisterhoods trade humanity's genitals for galactic power!? Find out next year on Gene Roddenberry's Lewdstar. |
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Feb 2, 2018 01:01
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BoldFrankensteinMir posted:Gene Roddenberry's Lewdstar. |
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Feb 2, 2018 01:07
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