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Dr. Abysmal
Feb 17, 2010

We're all doomed

Itís too bad Keven wasnít here to witness the complete and total exoneration of Jon Jones.

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kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!



Jon Jones to the WWE seeming more and more like a realistic thing now.

Triticum Guzzler
Jun 16, 2002


here's jon jones, who during this testimony talked about how he's careful not to put anything in his body that he's not sure about, accepting a bottle of liquid from a complete stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=2835s

here's the complete stranger who is not being paid to be here saying jon jones should not be punished

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=10252s

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him


Triticum Guzzler posted:

the zoom out to malki kawa when jon says his manager forged his signature. magnificent.
Any month there's an NSAC hearing, that should get top OP billing.
e: athletic commission -- dammit

I'm sad that the phone call genius from Anderson's hearing couldn't sneak his way in somehow.

kimbo305 fucked around with this message at Feb 27, 2018 around 22:40

handsome only face
Apr 22, 2010

Cockroach went out of the room in anger. And roach's go to empty room...

Cockroache's Anarchist




Triticum Guzzler posted:

here's jon jones, who during this testimony talked about how he's careful not to put anything in his body that he's not sure about, accepting a bottle of liquid from a complete stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=2835s

here's the complete stranger who is not being paid to be here saying jon jones should not be punished

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=10252s

Jenkem Delivery
Feb 8, 2005

Death created time to grow the things that it would kill

kensei posted:

Jon Jones to the WWE seeming more and more like a realistic thing now.

He can't be worse on the mic than Ronda

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


Jenkem Delivery posted:

He can't be worse on the mic than Ronda

*Jon Jones spins in a chair, awkwardly reading out his thoughts on a fighter he has trained with for years*

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!



Jenkem Delivery posted:

He can't be worse on the mic than Ronda

I was going to say

Snowman_McK posted:

*Jon Jones spins in a chair, awkwardly reading out his thoughts on a fighter he has trained with for years*

He'd obviously need a manager. Just remember, as bad as T-Wood is as a talking head, they stopped letting Jon do it. Let that sink in.

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014




Pillbug

I'm contemplating what 205 would have looked like without Jon Jones - an "It's a Wonderful Life" thing.

We may have experienced Ryan Bader, UFC champion, a second Machida reign, and then seen Gus take over the division. It's possible that without a big hype target that DC may have stayed at HW.

Matt Lindland
Feb 10, 2018

SHUT THE FUCK UP KEVEN

ALSO GJ BUYING A NEW ACCOUNT LIKE A GODDAMN COWARD
YOU USELESS WHITE NOISE POSTER

YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE THE BOLF RAMSHIELD YOU SO RICHLY DESERVE


now with professional animation


Triticum Guzzler posted:

here's jon jones, who during this testimony talked about how he's careful not to put anything in his body that he's not sure about, accepting a bottle of liquid from a complete stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=2835s

here's the complete stranger who is not being paid to be here saying jon jones should not be punished

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=10252s

Alright, youíve convinced me. Heís innocent.

Gay Horney
Feb 9, 2013
Probation
Can't post for 12 days!


So is it too late to bet on the length of his suspension

kensei
Dec 27, 2007

He has come home, where he belongs. The Ancient Mariner returns to lead his first team to glory, forever and ever. Amen!



Gay Horney posted:

So is it too late to bet on the length of his suspension

Take the over








e: VVVVV

kensei fucked around with this message at Feb 27, 2018 around 23:53

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Rap terrorist, terrorise, tear it up
Brought gas and the matches to flare it up
Militant Michael might go psycho
On any ally or rival
Born Black, that's dead on arrival
My job is to fight for survival
In spite of these #AllLivesMatter-ass white folk


UFC science stuff Marches on

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


CommonShore posted:

I'm contemplating what 205 would have looked like without Jon Jones - an "It's a Wonderful Life" thing.

We may have experienced Ryan Bader, UFC champion, a second Machida reign, and then seen Gus take over the division. It's possible that without a big hype target that DC may have stayed at HW.

Nah, Bader's exactly the sort of stupid to try and stand with Shogun to prove he's more than a wrestler, only for Shogun to punch his head off in a cool but slightly awkward way. As evidence, I present his Machida gameplan: jumping, chin up, at a really good counterpuncher.

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

Lid posted:

UFC science stuff Marches on

Awww yeah

El Roncho
Oct 15, 2006

I'm not necessarily proud of this but I'm gonna leave it here anyways.

UFC: Now Boneless!

Soothing Vapors
Mar 26, 2006

Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

Triticum Guzzler posted:

here's jon jones, who during this testimony talked about how he's careful not to put anything in his body that he's not sure about, accepting a bottle of liquid from a complete stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=2835s

here's the complete stranger who is not being paid to be here saying jon jones should not be punished

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=10252s

he's so painfully dumb

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Rap terrorist, terrorise, tear it up
Brought gas and the matches to flare it up
Militant Michael might go psycho
On any ally or rival
Born Black, that's dead on arrival
My job is to fight for survival
In spite of these #AllLivesMatter-ass white folk


El Roncho posted:

UFC: Now Boneless!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3uk5bJcyM8

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Triticum Guzzler posted:

to review:

jon jones admitted to not doing the online seminars for usada, and having malki kawa forge his signature
jon jones said he signed an nda that he could not disclose the amount he gave to the woman he crashed into. minutes later he says he gave her a million dollars.
jon jones brought somebody with him to give public comment and say he shouldn't get any punishment except a fine

God I wish I hadn't missed the live hearing, but thanks to you and everybody else for the recap. It sounded like a blast.

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


Lid posted:

UFC science stuff Marches on

drat that's good, but what about The Duck of the Irish?

FishBowlRobot
Mar 21, 2006


El Roncho posted:

UFC: Now Boneless!

eric
Apr 27, 2004


Lipstick Apathy

Jerusalem posted:

drat that's good, but what about The Duck of the Irish?

It's good but now boneless is better.

Snowman_McK
Jan 31, 2010
ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF-PUBLISHED WARHAMMER FANFICTION AND MY KNIFE COLLECTION


Jerusalem posted:

drat that's good, but what about The Duck of the Irish?

We can use this pretty much any time until they actually strip Conor. Probably even after.

OJ MIST 2 THE DICK
Sep 10, 2008

Anytime I need to see your face I just close my eyes
And I am taken to a place
Where your crystal minds and magenta feelings
Take up shelter in the base of my spine
Sweet like a chica cherry cola

-Cheap Trick


Nap Ghost

Triticum Guzzler posted:

to review:

jon jones admitted to not doing the online seminars for usada, and having malki kawa forge his signature
jon jones said he signed an nda that he could not disclose the amount he gave to the woman he crashed into. minutes later he says he gave her a million dollars.
jon jones brought somebody with him to give public comment and say he shouldn't get any punishment except a fine

did he apologize for when he drives up to usada in 3 months with a giant bag of cash

Memento
Aug 25, 2009




Clapping Larry

Justin Buchholz' dumb vaccine-denying rear end has "parted ways" from Team Alpha Male.

SquirrelGrip
Jul 4, 2012


https://twitter.com/philbaroni/stat...605946623623169

Skip My Posts
Aug 15, 2005

by FactsAreUseless


CRISPYBABY
Dec 15, 2007

*~ayoo comin thru~*



unreal

e: I guess today I learned that Baroni likes talking poo poo on twitter, and he's fighting Goran Reljic in a bare knuckle match in Ireland next week???? Jesus christ.

CRISPYBABY fucked around with this message at Feb 28, 2018 around 02:23

NObodyNOWHERE
Apr 24, 2007

Now we are all sons of bitches.


Hell Gem

God drat, this thread should be goldmined. I was initially bummed because I was working and couldn't listen to the Jones hearing, but reading the thread PBP after the fact and trying to guess if posts were jokes or actual quotes was funny as hell.

Kragger99
Mar 21, 2004



Pillbug

Embedded 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kas1H1vwjy0

Embedded 2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r-HjTlP49Oo

Mean Bean Machine
May 8, 2008

Only when I breathe.


Triticum Guzzler posted:

here's jon jones, who during this testimony talked about how he's careful not to put anything in his body that he's not sure about, accepting a bottle of liquid from a complete stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=2835s

here's the complete stranger who is not being paid to be here saying jon jones should not be punished

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=10252s

lol

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

If you're gonna do it, do it with ~*~Axefaire~*~


Pillbug

UFC March comes in like he's lyin and goes out like a sham

CommonShore
Jun 6, 2014




Pillbug

I thought we already agreed on

UFC March - Duck of the Irish

Maybe...

UFC March - Duck of the Irish (+Jon Jones)

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

He is I, and I am him


Has anyone screenshotted those two sections and tweeted them at both the real Jon Jones and the chubby white guy?

Veni Vidi Ameche!
Nov 2, 2017

I'm really too broke to do this, but here's 10 more dollars to the LOWTAX SPINE FUND because Jesus fucking tits I couldn't look at that other one anymore.


214 new posts. I am travelling forward in time to let you all know how excited I am for the journey I am about to embark upon. Now, back to page 22 with me.

red19fire
May 26, 2010


UFC: Beware the Steroid Metabol-IDES of March

Lid
Feb 18, 2005

Rap terrorist, terrorise, tear it up
Brought gas and the matches to flare it up
Militant Michael might go psycho
On any ally or rival
Born Black, that's dead on arrival
My job is to fight for survival
In spite of these #AllLivesMatter-ass white folk


UFC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E0Zz1tHr1Bg

Jerusalem
May 20, 2004

Would you be my new best friends?


I hope DC spent the whole day grilling and going while all this was happening

MotU
Mar 6, 2007

If you're gonna do it, do it with ~*~Axefaire~*~


Pillbug

Don't Turinabol oh oh oh, der Commission is in town woah oh OH

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TheRationalRedditor
Jul 17, 2000

WHO ABUSED HIM. WHO ABUSED THE BOY.


Triticum Guzzler posted:

here's jon jones, who during this testimony talked about how he's careful not to put anything in his body that he's not sure about, accepting a bottle of liquid from a complete stranger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=2835s

here's the complete stranger who is not being paid to be here saying jon jones should not be punished

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVP8DjqDlhQ#t=10252s
lmao this is the best. he literally doesn't comprehend actually being held responsible for his many violations

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