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Elephanthead
Sep 11, 2008


Toilet Rascal

Vertical Lime posted:

i've been informed the russians hosed up to lose their semifinal

not the russians the stupidest ban ever.

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gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak


https://twitter.com/JohnCornyn/status/962859721890914306

Pleiades
Aug 20, 2006
I dare him to say that to Canadians!

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

Pleiades posted:

I dare him to say that to Canadians!

don't hide your past cruz

Hoekie
Apr 22, 2010
drat. OAR v Norway getting sloppy.

Chicken
Apr 23, 2014

Is that a style of facial hair in Russia or does that guy just naturally have very dark hair below the jawline?

I have she still has an intact coccyx. :ohdear:

Antifreeze Head
Jun 6, 2005

It begins
Pillbug
I'm enjoying watching mixed doubles curling, but I don't think I much care for it. The wild swings in momentum generally have less to do with a well made shot than with one gone horribly awry from the opponent. That certainly happens in regular curling, but there it is more the exception than the rule. It's like watching arena football versus regular gridiron football: exciting for a while but then the weaknesses really start to overtake the strengths.

Chicken
Apr 23, 2014

Men's Curling

Schedule - Click here!

Format
Ten teams play a round robin with the top four teams making the playoffs. 1 plays 4 and 2 plays 3 with the winners going to the gold medal game and the losers going to the bronze medal game.

Teams

Canada - Skip: Kevin Koe Third: Marc Kennedy Second: Brent Laing Lead: Ben Hebert Alternate: Scott Pfeifer



After the retirement of Kevin Martin, there hasn't been one men's team that can claim to be the best in Canada. Gushue, MacEwen, Norris, and Jacobs have all given it a try but since the creation of this all star team in 2014, they've certainly made the best argument. The lead and third won a gold medal with Kevin Martin in Vancouver and there's a combined nine world championships between the four players. Kevin Koe himself has spent much of his career in obscurity, growing up in the curling backwater of Yellowknife, NWT and then spending years as a second tier team in Alberta before the retirements of Martin and Ferbey allowed him to come to the fore. These guys throw huge weight with deadly accuracy and there will be a highlight reel shot every other end. That's not the only tool in their belt though; their draw weight is exceptional and Kevin's ice reading is second to none. I wouldn't put them as heavily favourited as Rachel Homan, but anything less than gold will be a disappointment.

Official Chicken Prediction: Gold
Hero or Villain? They yell a lot and are kind of dicks on the ice. Even as a Canadian it'll be hard to cheer for these guys.

Denmark - Skip: Rasmus Stjerne Third: Johnny Frederiksen Second: Mikkel Poulsen Lead: Oliver Dupont Alternate: Morten Berg Thomsen



A bit more experienced than their female compatriots, this team will still have a tough time of it here. They don't have the skill at the big weight shots that allow a team to hold a lead, so while they might be able to mix it up in the middle of a game, expect the other teams to pounce on these guys in the eighth and ninth ends.

Official Chicken Prediction: Ninth
Hero or Villain? The most villainous Scandinavians here although that's not saying much.

Great Britain - Skip: Kyle Smith Third: Thomas Muirhead Second: Kyle Waddell Lead: Cameron Smith Alternate: Glen Muirhead



This team was selected by their country's Olympic committee over the established David Murdoch which was a bit of a surprise. Having seen a bit of their play, it's hard to see why that decision was made, but Scotland is deep enough that these guys could win a few games. The talent is apparent but the experience just isn't there and unless they've done a lot of homework since I last saw them, the shot-calling will be hit and miss.

Official Chicken Prediction: Eighth
Hero or Villain? Villainous usurpers of the rightful representative.

Italy - Fourth: Amos Mosaner Skip: Joël Retornaz Second: Simone Gonin Lead: Daniele Ferrazza Alternate: Andrea Pilzer



Every time I've seen these guys play, one of the commentators brings up when they beat Canada in the round robin at the 2006 Olympics in Turin. They didn't make the playoffs that year, but a victory over Canada by a second tier curling country put their name in a lot of people's minds. There have been a few lineup changes in the past twelve years, but there's still that ability to beat some top teams. They play a quiet, unassuming game but keep enough rocks in play that they can score a big end by capitalizing on mistakes. I can't see them in a playoff spot but will be on the edge of my seat when they play Canada.

Official Chicken Prediction: Fifth
Hero or Villain? Giantkilling heroes.

Japan - Skip: Yusuke Morozumi Third: Tetsuro Shimizu Second: Tsuyoshi Yamaguchi Lead: Kosuke Morozumi Alternate: Kohsuke Hirata



This team's competed a bit on the Canadian circuit and get a little better each time I see them. The weight has always been good, but the strategy and ice reading has improved by leaps and bounds. They would prefer not to throw a lot of takeouts, and when they do, they'd prefer to play soft enough weight that some rocks will stick around. Hard to see them doing well against the top half of the teams but if they can beat the teams they're capable of beating and get a bit of luck, you might see them in a playoff spot.

Official Chicken Prediction: Sixth
Hero or Villain? They're only getting better so get on this bandwagon while you can.

Norway - Skip: Thomas Ulsrud Third: Torger Nergård Second: Christoffer Svae Lead: Håvard Vad Petersson Alternate: Sander Rølvåg



They wear cool rear end pants. The last two Olympics have seen the pants of the Norwegian team achieve great heights: New York Times articles, magazine spreads, their own Facebook page. But behind the pants is a great team. Ulsrud is (I believe) the oldest player in the field and he's got the kind of veteran savvy that can carry a team. One of the most finesse based teams here, they play a fun style of curling with lots of rocks in the house. They've got the skill and savvy to stay in games even without the huge takeouts and when the dust settles I wouldn't be surprised to see these guys go home with a medal to showcase at their next pants photoshoot.

Official Chicken Prediction: Bronze
Hero or Villain? The pants are cool, the team is cool. Heroes!

South Korea - Skip: Kim Chang-min Third: Seong Se-hyeon Second: Oh Eun-Su Lead: Lee Ki-bokAlternate: Kim Min-chan



I've only seen this team once, when they finished second at a Canadian event late last year. Put a big asterisk next to that, because most of the big teams were preparing for Olympics qualifying and the winners were a third tier Scottish team. Still that's great experience for a young team and they should have the skill to keep most of the games close even if they don't win many.

Official Chicken Prediction: Tenth
Hero or Villain? Hometown heroes.

Sweden - Skip: Niklas Edin Third: Oskar Eriksson Second: Rasmus Wranå Lead: Christoffer Sundgren Alternate: Henrik Leek



These guys match up pretty well to the Canadians and their round robin game next Saturday will probably be a gold medal game preview. The front end is a little more elegant but Edin can throw big weight with the best in the world. He's also great at strategy and ice reading and he might be upset with a shot that looks good, just because he rolled an inch too far to set up a shot later in the end. No weaknesses except that they're not quiiiiiiite as good as Canada. Nevertheless, if they can take advantage of a few mistakes they have a decent shot at a gold.

Official Chicken Prediction: Silver
Hero or Villain? Still kind of dicks on the ice but they're nicer than Canada.

Switzerland - Fourth: Benoît Schwarz Third: Claudio Pätz Skip: Peter de Cruz Lead: Valentin Tanner Alternate: Dominik Märki



More well rounded than most of the other teams, they're partial to the low weight game but can throw big weight when needed. One of the unique things about this team is that their skip throws the third and fourth rocks. You'll see de Cruz holding the broom for the first two rocks, then run down to the other end to throw two shots, and then head back to holding the broom. It's a good tactical move to have whoever is the strategic genius plan the shots whatever rocks they throw, but there's some accountability to throwing the last rocks and running the team. You might see a bit of too many cooks in the kitchen, with the third and fourth expecting to have some input on the shots they'll throw. Keep an eye on the clock too, because all that discussion takes up valuable time.

Official Chicken Prediction: Fourth
Hero or Villain? Low key heroes.

United States - Skip: John Shuster Third: Tyler George Second: Matt Hamilton Lead: John Landsteiner Alternate: Joe Polo



This thread's punching bag, John Shuster returns to the Olympics happily unaware of his terrible reputation here. They like big weight and that might be all you need at the Ten Thousand Lakes Fun Bonspiel in Cold-As-Balls, Minnesota, but at the Olympics you need the finesse game too and I haven't seen anything to suggest they can match up here. Still, they've had some decent results in the past and if they can go in under the radar and avoid getting mixed up in ends that will be on "Worst of the Olympics" highlight reels, they have an extremely outside chance at a playoff spot.

Official Chicken Prediction: Seventh
Hero or Villain? Villain.

Chicken
Apr 23, 2014

Thanks to inept for putting these in the op. It's been fun writing them and I hope it helps you figure out that sport you watch once every four years.

From now on I will solely be posting about how good Rachel Homan is, how much a dick Kevin Koe is, and how bad Jon Shuster is. Hopefully with a mixed doubles gold in there.

gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak


I really appreciate the write-ups. Go Team Muirhead!

iospace
Jan 19, 2038


Chicken posted:

Thanks to inept for putting these in the op. It's been fun writing them and I hope it helps you figure out that sport you watch once every four years.

From now on I will solely be posting about how good Rachel Homan is, how much a dick Kevin Koe is, and how bad Jon Shuster is. Hopefully with a mixed doubles gold in there.

Will you do the same for the women's competition?

Chicken
Apr 23, 2014

iospace posted:

Will you do the same for the women's competition?

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3848626&pagenumber=2&perpage=40#post481107196

I already did!

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

Go Homan.

Fargin Icehole
Feb 19, 2011

Pet me.
How is this poo poo a sport, I want some genuine answers here, because lord knows, fake news won't give me it

womb with a view
Sep 8, 2007

Chicken posted:

how much a dick Kevin Koe is
Tell me more.

Josh Lyman
May 24, 2009


I was surprised to see the Norwegian women's team isn't playing, nor did they play in 2014, which is making me crazy since Kristin Skaslien looks super familiar and I obviously wouldn't have seen her at the Scotties.

catfry
Oct 9, 2012

by Azathoth
Watching the replay, russian mixed double team was very accurate. they were squeezing the Norwegians with some top skills.

catfry fucked around with this message at 11:21 on Feb 13, 2018

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
wow, this canada/swiss finals is off to a great start. these are some crazy shots and it's only end 2!!

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
and now swiss is choking hard in end 3... and now canada may take 5 or 6 points :pusheen:

womb with a view
Sep 8, 2007

Slo-mo John Morris screaming is pretty good.

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
drat, what a save

and then kaitlyn brings home 4 :hellyeah:

Minera fucked around with this message at 12:38 on Feb 13, 2018

womb with a view
Sep 8, 2007

BEAUTIFUL

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
god drat, kaitlyn is just destroying switzerland

Powershift
Nov 23, 2009


They're about to win an Olympic silver medal, and it still looks like this is the last place in the world either of those Swiss people want to be right now.

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Oh man. So excited.

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
every time it seems like swiss might be in a good spot, they're in a nightmare scenario by the time the last shot comes up

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Cbc was talking about how the Swiss could get 5 this end just 2 minutes ago. Now they are saying Canada can easily steal 2

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
ahahaha, here comes the forfeit :rip:

Minera
Sep 26, 2007

All your friends and foes,
they thought they knew ya,
but look who's in your heart now.
Canada wins gold in mixed doubles!!

bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

Jaxxon: Still not the stupidest thing from the expanded universe.



Gold!

Tolly Totes
Oct 12, 2016

If we're free, tell me why
I can't look in my brother's eye
:canada:

Albino Squirrel
Apr 25, 2003

Miosis more like meiosis
Buddy gettin' ratio'd by Minnesotans and Canadians.

Vertical Lime
Dec 11, 2004

bad toronto columnist has bad opinion

https://twitter.com/wyshynski/status/963461735549153281

stab
Feb 12, 2003

To you from failing hands we throw the torch, be yours to hold it high

steve simmons is an absolute idiot regardless of what sport he has an opinion about

Zeeman
May 8, 2007

Say WHAT?! You KNOW that post is wack, homie!

Simmons is the worst. He complains about new Olympic sports like mixed curling and team figure skating, but then talks about the great medals in moguls (introduced in 1992!) and slopestyle (introduced in 2014!). Curling is good, more curling is better, and honestly, it's great to see the Olympics introducing mixed events where they can.

Jordan7hm
Feb 17, 2011




Lipstick Apathy
I love curling so much. Wish I could watch it live, stupid time zones.

Bilirubin
Feb 16, 2014

The sanctioned action is to CHUG


http://www.cbs.com/shows/late-late-...ns-ron-funches/

SalTheBard
Jan 26, 2005

I forgot to post my food for USPOL Thanksgiving but that's okay too!

Fallen Rib
OAR is just totally dominating Norway :-(

Slung Blade
Jul 11, 2002

IN STEEL WE TRUST

I did not expect SAS to have a curling thread, this is awesome.


Been watching on and off for years with the grandparents, but I just started playing last year as a 37 year old. Game is fun as hell and playing it gives you a great perspective on what the pros are doing.

Was awesome to hear about John and Kaitlyn's win this morning, can't wait to watch the game later.

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gret
Dec 12, 2005

goggle-eyed freak


Slung Blade posted:

I did not expect SAS to have a curling thread, this is awesome.


Been watching on and off for years with the grandparents, but I just started playing last year as a 37 year old. Game is fun as hell and playing it gives you a great perspective on what the pros are doing.

Was awesome to hear about John and Kaitlyn's win this morning, can't wait to watch the game later.

Oh hey, I've been enjoying your Building a life in the country thread.

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